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I've got around this by becoming a riding god 🙂Jamie
So that's why your called lilchris?
Just wipe your willy on the curtains and leave! Simples!
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Seems harsh, but I suppose there is some resemblance.
Brilliant thread!
wwaswas - Member
Some women can apparently contact thrush at the drop of a hat
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the quality of some of them it might actually be to decontaminate said penis after a classless night out
emsz - Member
O.M.G at this thread
Guessing it's not an issue in your house 😉
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Thank you Mumsnet, yet again youve made me laugh
Brilliant thread! STW shoots, scores! 😉
Mumsnet kicks this forum's arse. FACT!
That mumsnet is a strange place - why not shower together?
That mumsnet is a strange place - why not shower together?
Because to get out of bed after sex kind of ruins the moment?
A Frenchman, an Italian and a Geordie are boasting about who is the best lover.
The Frenchman says: (French accent here) "When I make love to my mistress, I cover her naked body with ze finest Belgian chocolates then I lick and nibble her and eat all ze chocolates and she is in such extasy zat she is floating one metre above ze bed!"
The Italian says: (Italian accent here) "When I make a-love to my wife, I cover her naked a-body with rose petals then I lick and kiss her and blow off the petals and she is in such extasy she is a-floating TWO metre above the bed!"
The Geordie says: (Geordie accent here) "Why, ah gan doon the pub on a Friday neet, ah neck twelve pints of lager then ah gan yem and shag the wife, then ah get oop an' wipe me dick on the curtains.... and she hits the ****in' roof!"
Anticipates an avalanche of 'What Beaker?' threads over on mumsnet.
I remember washing my face in the sink before bed in a shared flat I used to live in, when my flatmate walked in and said "Ah mate I just washed the froth off my nuts in there"
TuckerUK - MemberBecause to get out of bed after sex kind of ruins the moment?
lolz
Anticipates an avalanche of 'What Beaker?' threads over on mumsnet.
A 650ml beaker really makes the rinsing come alive.
Personally flashy i am going to need a minimum of 29 er 😉
And we fattys need it to be at least 4" wide
Good, god, why on earth would someone discuss that on a public forum, presumably in her real name? And what the actual funk? Temporary clean in a beaker? Just mtfu and lie there for a few minutes basking in your masculinity, oblivious to the baby batter dribbling down your shin!
I wonder if on mumsnet they debate the merits of an extra 3 inches?
For once riding 'tubed' is preferable to tubeless with it associated mess.
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*goes facebook stalking
oblivious to the baby batter dribbling down your shin!
Had to read that twice.
think he needs some Schaeffers...
[url=
maintenance[/url]
"A 650ml beaker really makes the rinsing come alive."
brilliant! It's another one of those STW trope thingys
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Ikea are on the ball!
Looks very practical but am not sure Mrs Gordimhor would let it anywhere near the microwave or the dishwasher. .....wait a minute I am the dishwasher.
Mate o mine in the Scouts got his pits with hairspray one weekend. That was worth a laugh or two, but serve him right for trying to maintain perfect hair with anti-persperant whilst out camping.
Years ago, my mum was running late for work and charging about the house in a panic. Brushed her hair, grabbed a can of hairspray, applied liberally before realising it didn't smell right.
Pledge.
Oh, and,
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Wow is all I can say
Genuine lol, didn't bother trying to explain it to the mrs. Cross forum memes, well done.A 650ml beaker really makes the rinsing come alive.
worst urinal everOh, and,
(pretty sure that was from a previous thread)
Been there, done that, got the T shirt!
http://www.redbubble.com/people/carassius/works/10944673-penis-beaker?p=t-shirt&SSAID=314743
Well this thread was certainly an eye opener.
Folks this thread has been rinsed in the forum cleansing mug once too often anymore will lead it to be closed.
I did a search for 'dipping chalice' after someone on twitter suggested they called theirs a 'gentlemans dipping chalice'.
I found this;
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A bacon mug full of molten cheese. Clearly not going to be of any help in the willy clean up department but making a mug out of woven bacon has to deserve some recognition.
that should be on thisiswhyyourefat.com
oh yeah and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
A mug. Made of bacon. Filled with melted cheese?
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I'm sure that's what the dipping glass looks like after some chaps have used it.
Best thread for a while, loads of genuine lols
Top tip:
Use boiling water, then you can drop a teabag in after and make your missus a cuppa.... 🙂
Just usually call for the au pair
That's what her tongue is for.....
A 650ml beaker really makes the rinsing come alive
This made me laugh so much I nearly knocked my beaker off the bedside cabinet. 😀 I'm in pain through laughing. This has to be reply of the month.
I want that reply on a Snorg T
Still laughing at the "one shot gun spray" on p2!! 😀
Having a dunking beaker actually seems quite reasonable compared to a guy on a US forum that I used to use, who happily recounted how he kept a "nut cup" on his bedside table to finish off in, as he didn't like condoms and didn't feel right about making a mess... I think the female forum users were more disgusted than the guys.
..to a guy on a US forum that I used to use...
TMI
...as he didn't like condoms and didn't feel right about making a mess...
Bet he was great fun in the sack.
Talking of which, I have heard some very strange tales:
Making the lady lay on a towel so the bed doesn't get messy, very erotic and spur of the moment.
Insisting the lady has a shower before oral sex. These guys must think all ladies taste of perfume, bit sad really.
There are some very odd folk out there that's for sure.
From the picture of the airblade further up the thread, I am glad this means I am not the only one to have wondered what might happen.
I dare not try it myself
The worst thing is that I didn't think my wife was on any forum - let alone Mumsnet...
If only...
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Rotor Stern - 😆
I personally use one of these, even comes with its own stand
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(I use a test tube really)
Insisting the lady has a shower before oral sex. These guys must think all ladies taste of perfume, bit sad really.
Missing a lot of the pleasure 🙁
Was having a conversation with a colleague at work yesterday about how he loves to perform a certain act on his partner at a certain time of the month.
Now, I have a very open mind and will try/have tried most things in the bedroom, however when he told me he woke up that morning with a dried red moustache I turned very green
I was going to post something about Dyson Airblades, but having seen the above, I'm going to [?]+[Q] STW for a while.....
Roter Stern - did you notice which category said Beakers are in from Ikea...?
Insisting the lady has a shower before oral sex
just getting her to brush her teeth will do surely
Roter Stern - did you notice which category said Beakers are in from Ikea...?
Nothing worse than a half arsed photoshop...
just getting her to brush her teeth will do surely
Excellent! 😆
Was having a conversation with a colleague at work yesterday about how he loves to perform a certain act on his partner at a certain time of the month.
Conversely some less civilised cultures hide their women away during that period (excuse the pun). I like to think there's a happy middle ground.
My grandfather did, but my grandmother kept putting her false teeth in it.
Seems fine to me, neither of them using it at the same time... 😉
You lot are all showing off.
I don't believe for one minute that any of you have girlfriends/wives/OHs let alone have sex 😉
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Does it (gift set) come in pink?
I think it comes in brown too.
10th wedding anniversary today, should I get a crystal glass instead of plastic beaker?
For those "Awwwwwww yeah, like a boss" nights:
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[i]For those "Awwwwwww [s]yeah, like a boss[/s] [b]the thrush is bad tonight[/b]" nights:[/i]
ftfy
Speak for yourself!
That's 4.5l of point-coital cooldown there, man!
Sssssssssssssssss.... "Aaaaah, yeah" 🙂
Dr: "Does your penis burn after sex?"
Patient: "I dunno, I've never tried lighting it!" 😯
Q - Do you smoke after sex?
A - I don't know, I've never looked
I don't believe for one minute that any of you have girlfriends/wives/OHs let alone have sex
No one likes a show off 😉
I don't believe for one minute that any of you have girlfriends/wives/OHs let alone have sex
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