[Closed] Post coital clean-up (mumsnet content)

wierdos 😕

OMFG....

<shudders>

If you're going to dunk it, at least be classy about it...

Among the photographs he texted to her were full-frontal shots of his genitals, a photo of his penis dipped in a glass of red wine and a photo of him reportedly grinning while about to drink the same glass of wine.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/06/queensland-mp-stands-down-sexting

I may be a a little presumptuous darling but I have brought my dunk bucket to bed.

I may be a a little presumptuous darling but I have brought my dunk bucket to bed.

Not tonight dear, I have a headache.

I stick to my mantra - "If a job's worth doing it's worth buying a power tool".

[img] [/img]

Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.

That right there is the dictionary definition of pratical thinking. 🙂

I got this far...

You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink.

...before I had to go on Amazon and order a new keyboard!

I'm guessing that wiping it on the curtains wouldn't play well to a Mumsnet audience?

They're mums, they shoudl know aboutr baby wipes.

*gets all nostalgic*

"how many people have a penis dunking beaker by the side of the bed?"

My grandfather did, but my grandmother kept putting her false teeth in it.

That man Fangio keeps on cropping up.

[img] [/img]

Still, after a couple of hours of action I should imagine that his helmet is splattered with Lord-knows-what.

[img] [/img]

maybe they need something like this..

my grandmother kept putting her false teeth in it

Now, that's got to hurt!

[img] [/img]

?

They're mums, they shoudl know aboutr baby wipes.

I think some of them are mums, in the same way some on here ride bikes.

i.e they aren't/don't.

I'm guessing that wiping it on the curtains wouldn't play well to a Mumsnet audience?

I was just about to mention zuffle

Shudders .... it's scary at times how much I have the same thoughts as a leftie northern

I prefer the post coital lean-out-of-the-bed-but-don't-lean-too-far to find a bit of laundry 🙂

Crying at harrys pic!

Houns - Member

Crying at harrys pic!

Posted 32 seconds ago #Report-Post

I feel left out, please cry at mine too! 😥

Yes I found the missing link, use your STW cup as your dunking vessel

or get her to lick it clean

sorry its lunchtime my bad

Zuffle 😉

surely you can use the bathroom at the same time?

chuckles at peter

can't resist reading it all now

Sink willy washers freak me out a bit anyway, not much better than wiping it on the curtains.

The Mrs and I were quite literally crying with laughter at this last night, after is showed up on a mates FB Feed

Crying at harrys pic!

Try turning the handle in the opposite direction.

A sneaky wipe on her side of the duvet before rolling over to my side. I do try not to fall asleep before she comes back from the bathroom, I'm not an animal. 😀

"Dunk bucket" 🙂 what a great insult that would make.
"That Michael Gove, he's a complete dunk bucket."

this looks ideal;

Warm down
cutlery sharpening
and, if you sit right, post-coital clean up

all in one.

[img] [/img]

I'd hate to get the spermy beaker mixed up with the squash beaker in the middle of the night

This...

[img] [/img]

Argh! That brush in the centre looks like it could easily get stuck in someone's eye...

"'I'm feeling fruity tonight darling. FILL UP THE PENIS BEAKER!'"

Truly brilliant.

On a serious note, some health care professionals advocate men washing their todgers immediately post-coit to prevent the spread of thrush. Some women can apparently contract thrush at the drop of a hat (without sexual contact), and thrush is very virulent. So, because getting out of bed after a good bout of love making is no naff, I'm guessing the dunk was suggested.

I prefer the post coital lean-out-of-the-bed-but-don't-lean-too-far to find a bit of laundry

On the occasions I can be arsed (perhaps an unfortunate turn of phrase in this thread), This.

[i]Some women can apparently contract thrush at the drop of a hat[/i]

this is why hat wearing has ceased to be the norm in western society, too many polite but careless hat doffing moments ended in a bad case of fanny fungus.

😐

No one else has a gravy boat then? One dunk and let the mutt do the cleaning up.

I always have this on my bedside cabinet:

[img] [/img]

I think STW may have reached a new low 😕

[b][Image removed! - The Mods][/b]

I think STW may have reached a new low

oh lighten up 🙂

You don't have to read the thread, you do know that don't you?

😆 😯 here comes the ban hammer

You don't have to read the thread, you do know that don't you?

😆 no I didn't every day is a school day

I think STW may have reached a new low

OK, why "fanjo"?

For some reason it conjours up images of Geroge Fornby singing "when I'm cleaning windows"

no I didn't every day is a school day

I've just realised that DS's post isn't showing up on my computer...was that what your comment was about? If so, I'm reserving my right to be offended too until I get home and can see it 🙂

Geroge Fornby

[img] [/img]

It would take a brave man to say it to his face.

When I was younger I once asked an older acquaintance for advice on how one deals with the above-mentioned aftermath. His response?

You just need a rag or something. Me and the wife have one. We call it the w***y hanky.

Oh, and in... before the lock.

I like it so much, I dip my junk in it!

Listerine or Dentyl FTW?

Just use the mug she keeps her teeth in

Hora, you see that line waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back there?

Well, you appear to have crossed it.

Geroge Fornby

Quite a talent for the spelling you have there 😉

0 %

Aaaaaaaand balance is restored!

O.M.G at this thread 😆

Hora, you see that line waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back there?

The starting line?

On a side-note...and I thought I was the one with no inner-monologue 😆

I've never visited Mumsnet.

I am Pure. 😆

I have to ask, Ski WTF was going on in that clip? 😆

To the people who missed it, words fail me 😆

Just keep one of these by the toothbrushes

[img] [/img]

Apparently #penisbeaker is trending on Twitter.

🙂

Ah yes. Reminds me of the time a girlfriend got the tubes mixed up and applied Colgate instead of Canesten

"additional cleansing may be desired but is not necessary"

I tried to read the CAUTION but its true I can't

Reminds me of the time a girlfriend got the tubes mixed up and applied Colgate instead of Canesten

Similar - Bleary early eyed, shakes the spray can of deodorant before liberally applying a hefty coating of fly spray to the pits. 😯

Reminds me of the time a girlfriend got the tubes mixed up and applied Colgate instead of Canesten

If you need fly spray in the bedroom I would suggest that you work on your personal hygene.

Mate o mine in the Scouts got his pits with hairspray one weekend. That was worth a laugh or two, but serve him right for trying to maintain perfect hair with anti-persperant whilst out camping.

got the tubes mixed up and applied Colgate instead of Canesten

I ALWAYS double check before applying cream to my shorts 8)

Having read that thread, I live in fear that
a) I'm going to get fired for finding inappropriate content while at work and b) I end up with someone from mumsnet. "Friday night special"?!

Reminds me of the time a girlfriend got the tubes mixed up and applied Colgate instead of Canesten

And I trust you used that as an excuse to clean your teeth using your girlfriends brush? 😆

wwaswas - Member

this looks ideal;

[img] [/img]
/p>

Warm down
cutlery sharpening
and, if you sit right, post-coital clean up

all in one.

It needs a little finessing:

[img] [/img]

From the golden age of Viz. If you're after a Christmas gift for the Mumsnet mum in your life, look no further.

Looks like mumsnet has gone down or the thread removed...

twitter really has gone overboard on this.

Mumsnet owners are probably running to the bank with the ad revenue and not noticed that the site's struggling under the load.

shakes the spray can of deodorant before liberally applying a hefty coating of fly spray to the pits

In a strange connection to the 'lucky chap' thread, I heard a story about a friend of a friend (so probably made up) who claimed she was late for such an appointment and hadn't been too hot on the hygiene dept so just sprayed some deodorant around downstairs before she left. The nurse said something like 'you've gone to a lot of trouble for this' which left her confused, until she got back home and found the spray-on glitter where her deodorant usually lived.

when I heard that story it was because she had a quick, errrm, wipe around with a flannel that her daughter had been using to clean her hands after playing with glitter and glue.

Wow wwaswas, we have the same friends! 😀

Small [s]world[/s] penis

So that's why you're called lilchris?

Also reminds me of the time a few of us went camping in Sedbergh. One guy arrived late and while we headed off to the pub, he went to have a quick shower, grabbing the shampoo/body wash that had been handily decanted into one of those little lightweight nalgene bottles.

Only it turned out it wasn't shampoo. It was only once he'd struggled to get a decent lather, then re-applied more (that Yorkshire water you know) that he smelt it and worked out it was cooking oil.