[Closed] Positive test post-snip

I was clear first time. Deal was that if the first attempt failed, she wouldn't make me have it done again!

Mate of mine had twins several years later. Just saying..

friend of mine had +ve then clear, as our midwife friend candidly pointed out, you need to clean your tubes out more 🙂

According to google it takes 20-40 times to clear out the pipes sufficiently to get rid of any positive results. Roll on the all clear!

Yep, positive then clear.

I forget the time between the two but definitely not uncommon.

Golfchick more a case of get pipe cleaning surely?

+ve then clear

positive then clear

definitely not uncommon

That's what I wanted to hear; didn't fancy going through with a second op!

you need to clean your tubes out more

That's even better news 🙂

Not necessarily

[img] [/img]

so... when you have the snip, erm, do you actually fire [i]anything[/i] or, like, do you just 'hunnnnhah' and nothing.

If nothing, whats going on down there. Massive backpressure in your balls?

Didn't really want to google that lot, well def not google images, that's for sure!

Anyone in the know?

Still produce fluid, just no swimmers

Tastes slightly different as a result.

(don't try and tell me you've never tasted it just to see if your other half's complaints are justified)

Tastes slightly different as a result.

so... when you have the snip, erm, do you actually fire anything or, like, do you just 'hunnnnhah' and nothing.

Think gold top vs. UHT

More like Skimmed....

More like Skimmed....

Or semi-skimmed for me, based on the letter I received.

No, its like grape juice - but the seedless variety.

ok, makes me feel a little better about the situation I'm facing. 😆

I'm booked in for the consultation in a couple of weeks 😯

Do they have staff 'on hand' to help with the pipe cleaning post-op?

I just blow a cloud of dust.

Do they have staff 'on hand' to help with the pipe cleaning post-op?

It was a stipulation of mine that if I was going to go through the procedure, I'd expect full co-operation from the wife for the aftercare.

My Ex passed out when I had to take several stitches out due to swelling 😆

I'm going in in June.

I know almost nothing about it and that's the way I plan on keeping it. General anesthetic and no need to be told post-op how it went.

so... when you have the snip, erm, do you actually fire anything or, like, do you just 'hunnnnhah' and nothing.

It all gets stored up. If you get jiggy too much, your sack will swell up like a football before exploding in a bit spermy mess.

Or, alternatively, you still ejaculate semen it just contains no sperm.

your sack will swell up like a football

end up like buster - it did cross my mind...

[img] [/img]

Golfchick more a case of get pipe cleaning surely?

Surprisingly with two sets of stitches still in its significantly reduced the willingness! Only been two weeks this Friday, there's still time!

I'm in the post-op, pre-test phase after having it done in December. Was a good month before the swelling went down and things felt relatively normal. Was 3-4 weeks off riding too.

Didn't realise that the nurse would want to have a rummage at the first consultation. Was even more awkward when she called in the receptionist to act as chaperone!

Unless you're a flasher, nothing will prepare you for the complete lack of dignity 🙂

All the nurses commented on the perfection of my shaving - and a lot of them came to have a look. Actually, they may not all have been nurses....

For those about to have it done, local anaesthetic is fine. If they haven't given you enough, the surgeon will know this a fraction of a millisecond after you do. If you need to ask how I know this.....

don't try and tell me you've never tasted it just to see if your other half's complaints are justified

I don't think this is [u]quite[/u] as normal as you think it is.

GA for mine but they were checking for "previous damage" too 😯

A topic dear to my sack having experienced this show 2.5 weeks ago. Trust me, in the days immediately after the concept of pipe cleaning will probably not be high on your mind, making sure you don't walk into table corners, your kids don't land on you and nothing comes within a metre of your groin will be your focus.
As MCTD says the local is fine, the tugging (hhhhhhuh) and general feeling of blue balls isn't particularly nice and you do certainly know when they have less than adequate levels of anaesthetic gone in. In other times of my life having an attractive nurse holding my willy would have been the signal to a good night, less so with a lady holding clamps and a scalpel. I swear they invited the waiting room in for a laugh. Saying that I had a week which was sore, v sore then uncomfortable and the in the space of a day was fine. Been on bike now for a week and all good. Few more weeks until the first sample, there was a concerned look when I asked if I had to do it in the waiting room, quickfire answer (from willy nurse) was "The WiFis not so good, use the toilet" Well played lady...

Didn't realise that the nurse would want to have a rummage at the first consultation.

None of that went on with me...

I had to post my sample.

Had to stand on a stool to reach the slot in the post box.

After the unpleasantness with the lack of sufficient local anaesthetic I had very little discomfort after the op. I have to [s]boast[/s] confess that we did rather ignore the advice about not testing it for a week or so after the operation, and the cauterised scab came off and it then refused to scab over again and heal properly for about 3 weeks.

I didn't try and ride a bike until it had finally healed over - problems with other slow healing medical incisions made that a definite no brainer!

They should have sent away a sample of each vas to the lab to confirm the correct bit was removed.

Trust me, in the days immediately after the concept of pipe cleaning will probably not be high on your mind,

I had a hernia op as a baby so things were apparently more complicated down there on one side. Took a while to heal on that side too.

Nurse offered a valium prescription for the op so I was really chilled!

I had to post my sample.

Had to stand on a stool to reach the slot in the post box.

I laughed.

I had to have a "top up" of anaesthetic - 1st cut was fine, 2nd I definitely felt it. The "tugging" was the worst bit. 5 people in on the op including the surgeon. Test sample results took ages to come through... from the lab, not the source.

The most distressing part of the procedure for me was waddling out of the clinic onto Sauchiehall Street like a cowboy who'd forgotten his horse only to find that someone had crashed into my parked car and driven off without leaving any details.

It was like a boot in the baws. Again.

Wandering up to the nice girl who worked on the counter of the hospital pathology department to hand in a fresh sample for testing is the worst part.

Especially 4 times 😳

With my Doc, they take two samples, but don't give you the results until they're both complete.

I didn't find the post-op stuff that bad, little or no swelling, bit of a bruise and not much pain, I was dreading the local wearing off and this searing pain to hit me, but it was more of a dull ache.

However, I really hated the op, I was a bit worried going in, but I've had too much surgery in my life and far more invasive than that, but it really did a number on me - the needle into the balls was appalling and the procedure really turned my stomach - a bit like going to the dentist, you don't feel what they're doing, but you feel the area around it being tugged and pulled and I threw a whitey for a moment.

I was told 30 shots before the magazine is empty, which worked out as 2 a week between op and tests, 2 a week!

I wish….

Do not expect or request much sympathy from your better half's at any perceived pain or lack of dignity, unless you want a detailed account of their child birth experiences. Quite right too.

It wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, definitely bristled as the anesthetic was initially applied, but whilst being aware of tugging etc, didn't feel a thing. In and out in about 20 mins with the procedure itself taking a few minutes. I waddled out with painkillers and a pre-addressed sample package to be sent out 20 weeks later, to get the all clear.

I had to post my sample.
Had to stand on a stool to reach the slot in the post box.
I laughed.

No, its like grape juice - but the seedless variety.

two words - tight underpants (for the post-op)
tugging *shudder* and the burning smell *yuck*

It was a rather surreal experience here.....I was supposed to be the first in but as hey were running late they decided to move me to last and all the other blokes kep on time!!! Great watching them all hobble out looking like they'd spent too long on an oversized horse!! Then...Lying on the bed with tackle out and definitely not looking my best! About half way through and the receptionist waltzes in for a chat with the Snip Doc...eeerrmm excuse me! The wife wanted to watch too (obviously snip curious) something about being interested in proceedings as she lectures genetics research....
Anyway best bit was I got the green light for a new bike!!

I’ve got to say - following this is BLOODY hilarious!!

🙄 😆

Rachel

The most alarming thing about the op was the smell of bacon, followed by a little puff of smoke

I’ve got to say - following this is BLOODY hilarious!!

You've made me wince. Again.

This is one of those recurring threads but as there's some more newbies, i'll share my experience again.

I got done NHS so local only, but where my NHS trust contract out to marie stopes it was at least in a nice clinic at a time of my choosing. Tea and biscuits in the waiting room as a procession of men march in and shuffle back out doesn't add to the sense of anticipation, but finally my name's called and it's my turn. The nurse shows me into an ante-room with a chair and a clothes hook and tells me to get 'em off. Now, I may be the only one on here without carnal knowledge of nurses, but this wasn't how a nurse telling me to drop my undercrackers went in my dreams. Nor was her parting shot, as she goes through the other door, telling me to keep my socks on as the floor's cold.

So, indignity #1 is the 15 foot 'Donald Duck' walk across to the table under the collective gaze of a senior doctor, a trainee (really!) and 2 nursing staff. Should you offer to shake hands? Make conversation?

[Ref: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Donald+Ducking ]

Once on the table it's all very friendly, check a few details, any medical conditions (only micropenis, at this stage - fear + cold is a great combo) and then we're away. Indignity #2 - which means they put a green sheet with a square hole in the centre of it over your loins, and then pull your cock'n'balls through the hole. Conversation becomes somewhat strained.

But wait! There's still the third and final indignity to come. Not content with your 'not usual scale' having become effectively disembodied from the body beneath thanks to now being the only thing on display..... it's the wrong colour! They only work on brown ones! And as yours is the traditional pink with a purple end, there's only one thing for it. The nurse produces some iodine and a brush, and sets to work like a demonic Rolf Harris (the one we used to like, not the horrible paedo one). 'Can you guess what it is yet?' Yep - it's my tiny cock and withered balls redone in a 70's colour scheme!!

After that the op itself is a cinch - minor scratch and a bit of tugging; sizzling and burning smell as the tubes are sealed off, and you're done. Although frankly after having my balls pulled through a sheet and painted brown, they could have done anything at that stage as long as it was a/ fast and b/ didn't involve eye contact.

Soon I was Donald Ducking back to the anteroom, furnished with a jiffy bag and a pot and on my way. Recovery from the pain was good but i got a minor post-op infection in the wound that needed cleaning out (which was painful, i think he used a brillo pad and dettol) and that kept me off the bike for 4 weeks - apparently a warm, damp chammy isn't considered a suitably sterile environment.

All clear after the required 50 shots (I may have exaggerated the number to the wife) and now i stand proudly yet sheepishly in front of you all, as a confirmed Jaffa.

Well, if we're repeating our old stories.....

A mate was using a beard trimmer the night before to prepare the area. Managed to slice his sack open without the aid of either a scalpel or anaesthetic. Shocking hand/eye coordination from a BA pilot!

Mid op, the surgeon announced he was having trouble locating one of my pipes.

He offered to send me home, and I quote, "half cock"...

Having gone to the bother of shaving, lying on a trolley in a night gown and being fondled by the surgeon and nurse for an eternity before they realised the curtains were open (so giving reception a view of the last Turkey in the shop), enduring *the tugging*, I suggested he better reach in and unearth the offending item, and if he did not I would....

Op was fully successful... 8)

My vas were apparently really hard to find, which lead to lots of rummaging, several repeats of the local anaesthetic, and the doc working through his break. I'm pretty sure the air con was directed straight at it too.

But Rachel wins.

We've rendered Harry speechless!

That has to be a first...

My mate told his story before I went for my op. I prepared by shaving the night before. On the day at the pre-op consultation, the male surgeon said that I had made a very nice job of it. Oh dear, not quite the comment that I had expected. Back to the changing room to the hot young Sandra Bullock lookylikey student nurse, who escorted me and a wheelchair to the op theatre.

As I lay back on the bed, I was asked if I wanted a screen up, i thought of course i want a screen up, do you honestly think i want to watch this? Meekly I said yes please.

A nurse sat beside me whilst the op was carried out. Her first sentence was Hi I'm Jill and live in the same town as you and know your wife. Great 😕

Local injection, a bit tugging, and stitched out. All good.

Back to restroom and Sandra Bullock has tea and toast ready.

Dressed and ready to leave, when Sandra says just need to give you a checkover before you go................

Having suffered a bollock related trauma it could be Alice Eve or Lou Ferrigno down there. It doesn't matter.

[url= https://harrythespiderblog.wordpress.com/2012/09/03/getting-on-with-it/ ]Gory details[/url]

anyone come across this??:
[url= https://www.bimek.com/ ]https://www.bimek.com/ [/url]
Sounds interesting!

A few notable bits of my experience....

Every female, from wife to receptionist to every single nurse (and there are a lot of them!) finds the whole thing hilarious. This is after all the sympathy, discretion and understanding we showed through however many pregnancies and childbirths!
Bay of 4 us on the day ward. I was due to be number 3. All of us on local. Guy number 1 comes back unconscious on stretcher. Fark! Turns out he chucked a whitey whilst laying on the table! Unnerving to say the least.
Felt surprisingly un-self-conscious getting my junk out on the table. What did freak me out was when they frikkin' EARTHED me, so that the electric burny thing worked.

Deeply, deeply unpleasant but not really painful.

Highlights of the recovery...slightly infected stitches. Got some antibiotics from GP. Gave the infected bit a squeeze in the bath and the stitch knot flew across the room. Right as rain after that.

Oh, and during the pipe cleaning phase, be prepared for a bit of old blood. Mm, gravy jizz!

Both tests negative for me. All good now. As others have said, the stuff has a big mess "body" now, and doesn't fly as far!

Oooh this again, [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/snip-snip ]here's my old thread[/url] on the same subject. Nearly my first anniversary! Might get a cake.

I had absolutely no bother afterwards, it all settled down quickly and I even destruction-tested Mr Khan's handywork not long after by smacking my nuts off the saddle really hard whilst going down some steps. Also I've not got any more kids so apparently it's working. Or not working. You know what I mean.

Guy number 1 comes back unconscious on stretcher. Fark! Turns out he chucked a whitey whilst laying on the table! Unnerving to say the least.

I got told off for not arranging someone to drive me home. They looked at me afterwards like they were sure I was going to pass out, I suspect it happens quite a lot.

Yes on the test - all clear second time round.

Weirdest part of the whole "experience" was the tugging sensation somewhere in my neck......

I went very pale part way home. I also know exactly how many speed bumps and cobbles there are in Northallerton.

A mate of mine was really paranoid that they'd pop the twins out as part of the procedure, roll them into a container and send them off to the lab, leaving him with an empty sack. No amount of reassurance would convince him otherwise - even from his GP, who apparently "had a shifty look on his face" when he told him that the clockweights would be left "in situ", as it were. I mean, it's as if Google had never been invented.

A mate failed the follow up test. As they already had 4 children his wife marched him back down there to get it done properly. This time they went in with the heavy duty machinery and he was black and blue for weeks.

Unless you're a flasher, nothing will prepare you for the complete lack of dignity

Trust me on this, it is nothing compared to the testing that accompanies prostate trouble. Extra pain with added urinary and faecal fun.

I personally think I've been very sympathies despite some rather scathing opinion of women! Having said that I never have nor have no intentions of child birth so I can't really compare it to that. I did get rather annoyed when a kidney infection was described as the worst pain imaginable while I was on the sofa with a face in three pieces, smashed out teeth, broken finger and very bruised ribs so maybe I can see where the women are coming from!

A general for the snip...wtf? I talked to the two nurses about commuting by bike while I had mine done. Though did make the mistake of looking up just as they had a tube lying over a metal rod with the scissors raised and ready.
Knocked one out the same day...but you could feel the knot / tubes pulling!

🙄

You'd think you had all been through the greatest trauma of mankind or something. Lol

If you don't get over yourselves, I shall be forced to write every single gory detail of my medical history for you. You won't be able to uncross your legs for weeks...

😯

Rachel

You'd think you had all been through the greatest trauma of mankind or something

Far from it, and I don't think I want to hear details of your experiences either. It's a minor procedure under a local in the back room of a clean clinic - 15 mins, cup of tea and home. Pack of peas, paracetomol, job done.

However - doing the donald duck walk of shame (still with socks on, remember, just to complete the look) to then have your rapidly diminishing chap sepia tinted with a paint brush.

Now that [b]IS[/b] a big deal....... that still wakes me up at night.

I am sure there must be a chemical way of doing this now.....................surely.........No?

The initial op was ok, just the 'can't get comfortable in any position' feeling afterwards that was annoying.

But.... the reversal - now that was something else!! 3hr general, has to be done under a microscope (yeah, yeah - I can hear the s****s from here!), and the recovery takes much longer!

Wearing a jock-strap with a hole in the front for a week for support, and having elephant sized balls the colour of a deep, deep bruise - not fun. And the pain! OMG the pain!

Technically, it worked - but nothing came of it, luckily...

Now means if I want the initial op again, I have to pay *and* there's a greater chance of complications 😮 I'm glad alternative methods of contraception are available.

Why don't chaps just remove the balls? It works for dogs (makes them look better as well)
Plus you'll be able to sit without having to 'Manspread' over six chairs.

Because testosterone is produced in them, mrsfry. It's need for good long term health as well as more obvious reasons.

Those of us in the club should get commemorative ties like the ones that you get from Marin Baker.

Rachel can have some golden ear rings.

[url= http://www.martin-baker.com/clubs/ejection-tie-club ]Martin Baker Ties Club[/url]

Those of us in the club should get commemorative ties like the ones that you get from Marin Baker.

Is this for those who've survived a trip in an Ejaculation Seat?

I had a scrotal hematoma after mine.

You probably don't want to do a google image search for that but I'm sure many will.
Trust me, a google image is nothing compared to seeing your own look like that.

Had it done in November. The thought of it was far worse than the act itself. Done with a local at the GP surgery. Doctor and nurse present. Kex off behind the curtain. Nurse was never involved, and stayed on the other side of the curtain. Doc was a keen cyclist, and had had the same procedure 10 days before. He'd opted to have it done at the hospital, as he didn't want the woman he works with present whilst having his done. Said it was a lot more hassle, took a lot longer, and more people in the room. Uncomfortable for a couple of days, back riding after 2 weeks. Roll on March and a hopefully all clear to paddle without wellies!

Far too much willy waving going on in this thread.

*waves at Willy*

Farrk. Why do I read these threads.
How long from seeing GP (I assume your first point of enquiry is with GP?) to surgery?
Also people that had it done a while ago - any long term complications like reduced libido or more prone to infections / discomfort?

He first went to see his GP mid October time and had it done the 22nd January in the local hospital which is more of an appointment only place than Accident and Emergency