[Closed] Pornography in the modern age

Nine pages.

Stick it up and I will tell you if it's appropriate... actually post it up!

what biscuits for...

Nine pages.

If the 9 pages include contents page and all the phone sex line ads, that's minimal fappage.

Are those pages stuck together though?

*Posting from a hedgerow *

CM jr. 1 week from now...

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Those biscuits, I hope they aren't soggy?

yeah, but no, but seriously. I mean realistically, you cannot ban it completely, so is it better to not try to restrict, so that you can actually monitor it? Otherwise, you may not ever see what they are accessing outside of your control

I always find it amazing that you can still buy grot mags in shops. Who actually pays for these nowadays?

yeah, you can just order them online!

Smash the router up and give them a copy of razzle.

HTH.

I'm curating a collection of Vintage Vinyl from the 70's .

I don't even own a record player

Are you only going to let him look at websites that don't show a particular niche?

Cos they don't exist. It's either ban it all (your isp can help) or non of it and as you can't ban him (24hrs a day), that kinda leaves one option.

How are you going to monitor it?

How are you going to monitor it?

Remarkably attentively?

Do you have hedges on your street? If so, just buy mags that you deem appropriate and leave them in the hedges. Problem solved!

websites that don't show a particular niche?

Rule 34.

While I am perfectly happy to acknowledge that erotic imagery and writing has existed almost since the dawn of humanity itself, I would tend to want to minimise my children's exposure to the contemporary, easy-access, hyper-real porn of the internet.

I instinctively agree with those psychologists who have asserted that internet porn is addictive and can be psychologically-damaging long term.

And to be clear, I am not positing this as a moral stance [i]per se[/i]; my concern would be primarily psychological/spiritual.

Sex Edu for 4yr olds... on its way, kerching for the Pron industry.

CFH, exactly

websites that don't show a particular niche?

Don't they show all the niches nowadays?

Silly answer...buy him a copy of Vitalogy.

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Serious answer:

I would suggest some education on respect for women, how pornography is demeaning and how that pornography is not how sex should be, let alone the addiction and escalation of imagery etc etc

Not there yet with my two girls, but it is a tricky issue.

I don't think there is any hope of "banning" it in any meaningful way. I can filter my home internet all I like but there will always be public wifi, unsecured routers, friends with no filters, 3G/4G connections etc etc

So if I can't prevent it then mostly it'll be about talking to them openly about porn and "healthy" sexual relationships.

Silly answer...buy him a copy of Vitalogy.

I can't see how an under-rated Pearl Jam album will help.

My biggest concern is that the sheer volume of pornography we're exposed to is changing sexual behaviour.

A few years ago, I re-entered the singles market after a long, enforced absence and was lucky enough to meet lots of women 10-15 years my junior. Many thought the film-style "money shot" was a perfectly acceptable part of procreation, and threesomes seem to be perfectly normal... It was dreadful! 😉

I suppose my own sexual style was formed during the 1980s reading "hedge porn", so poor lighting, awkward poses and remaining still for long periods feature quite heavily.

Even now, my "signature move" was inspired by a well-thumbed copy of Colour Climax that a school colleague had stolen from his father's wardrobe.

As an aside, last summer I found a scattering of hedge-porn - or rather dry-stone wall porn - whilst riding back over Staveley Common from Long Sledale. To whoever left it there, thank you!

Vinnyeh. Keep reading my post...

How about a casual chat with the teenager, a few wise words re content and a gentle reminder that it is your name on the broadband/mobile phone contract so it will be you they contact first...

I'd read somewhere that ironically the constant ability to access porn by teens has lead to less promiscuity.

Good album title.

Not there yet with my two girls, but it is a tricky issue.

My brain must be completely addled... I started reading this sentence and thought it was about that clip involving a cup. Sorry. 😳

I saw someone claiming that teenage pregnancies were lower due to the fact that 'finishing' 'externally' was more common due to porn.

Probably not true, but it made me wonder.

its a long way off for me, but not sure id be too keen on checking out what my kids and been chugging one out to..!? 😳

I can't see how an under-rated Pearl Jam album will help.

You know it's actually a book right? Just checking.

I saw someone claiming that teenage pregnancies were lower due to the fact that 'finishing' 'externally' was more common due to porn.

I suspect incidences of teenage haemorrhoids and prolapses are higher though 😯

I found an old stash of mags when clearing out the loft ready for a move. like old old, before our time old. fantastic! found it far more thrilling than owt on lobstertube!

its a long way off for me, but not sure id be too keen on checking out what my kids and been chugging one out to..!?

Ditto.

Let us know how it goes though OP.

😆

There's some really twisted stuff out there that has become a meme unto itself.

The best way you can start is with education - ask your kids how they would feel if it was a close female friend or relative being objectified, etc.

And make sure they know how to delete their history before their grandma sits down at the family PC, opens Google and watches autocomplete fill in "big ****"...

Incidentally I'm currently reading "Boy In A Dress" to my six year old.

Only on Chapter 4 and I've already had to explain what the rude magazines under the dad's bed are, and what "Woofter" means. 😆

[...] been chugging one out to..

I will now derive greater amusement from the reference to persistent charity collectors as "chuggers"

Imagine when a teen first has sight of a female part and it isnt quite like the movies they would have a great sense of confusion.
A bit like ordering a peach and getting a ham butty..sort of.

I think it is difficult. There is a certain extent to which it is probably a healthy developmental stage for a teenager, and might answer questions for them. Obviously, there is some freaky stuff out there but if I can see their history shows only occasional visits to standard sites and some kindle sample literature. It seems tolerable. If I ban it completely, then they start hiding it and I've no idea what they are looking at. After all, it did us no harm...

I would make it as difficult as possible to access porn. (They'll find a way of course)

You know it's actually a book right? Just checking.

Yeah, but the albums better 😉

SaxonRider - Member

While I am perfectly happy to acknowledge that erotic imagery and writing has existed almost since the dawn of humanity itself, I would tend to want to minimise my children's exposure to the contemporary, easy-access, hyper-real porn of the internet.

I instinctively agree with those psychologists who have asserted that internet porn is addictive and can be psychologically-damaging long term.

And to be clear, I am not positing this as a moral stance per se; my concern would be primarily psychological/spiritual.

Access to porn has increased beyond all recognition, a million-fold, and what's happened? Not much. If porn was anything like as powerful (and malign) an influence as some say, we would be seeing some profound changes in human behaviour. Sexual violence absolutely through the roof. Economies grinding to a halt through chronic masturbation. Nothing like that has happened.

I read somewhere that the average 30-40 year old man in 2017 has seen more vaginas than ALL his ancestors combined. That's a lot of vagina. 😯

More or less impossible to control so I always took the view that they're going to see regardless of anything you might do so, better to talk about it and make it clear that what they are seeing has little or nothing to do with real sex and relationships.

I explained it as Porn is to Sex as WWF is to fighting.

I read somewhere that the average 30-40 year old man in 2017 has seen more vaginas than ALL his ancestors combined. That's a lot of vagina.

They don't look as scary as they sound anymore either. In the 80s, a vagina at least looked as if it might bite you or something. All the shaving and bleaching means they don't look half as threatening. 🙂

entirely depends on the child. With my own son (when he was about 14 ) We had a discussion about respect for women, trust, sexuality and curiosity. While I didn't overtly monitor his activity on line (he had a laptop in his room) we had one simple rule.

At any point either me or his mother could walk in and ask for laptop to be handed over for inspection of cache, browsing history etc (lack of either of these two things was instant rescinding of privileges) no if, but, or hang on a minute...

I know there are loop holes in that, he knew the loop holes as well, but it was mostly about trust .

I read somewhere that the average 30-40 year old man in 2017 has seen more vaginas than ALL his ancestors combined. That's a lot of vagina.

I can't really answer in an objective way. My mate found a bin bag full of Swedish Erotica in the lane beside our houses when I was eleven. It was up there with pornhub. pretty explicit. Agricultural even.

Did this discovery colour my formative relationships? Don't know - my partners were often equally enlightened because they were equally exposed to this stuff and wanted to try stuff out.

I wouldn't want my son (now four) to discover all this stuff until the time is right but the new hedge-porn is the interwebs and it is what is is.

Nothing much has changed between 1985 and now, other than instant gratification.

That's a lot of vagina.

Many thought the film-style "money shot" was a perfectly acceptable part of [b]procreation[/b]

They were [i]really[/i] not paying attention in Biology classes!

Teenage pregnancy rates have reduced significantly in the last 10 years. I think internet porn has helped as teenagers now think the norm is either a**l or money shots :).

Depends if the OP has any thoughts on the likely exploitation of some of those who will be appearing on his lad's laptop. If that's not an issue for him, then I don't see how he'd limit consumption these days anyway.

Teenage pregnancy rates have reduced significantly in the last 10 years.

Or, perhaps that's complete crap. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_pregnancy_in_the_United_Kingdom

Perhaps they've all visited Mumsnet and are doing it up thr bottom (as advised by certain members of stw).

Empower girls to say what they want and what they don't want to do. If the boy can't handle that then tell him to grow up.

Tell boys that double anal penetration is not normal and girls might not love it.

All the shaving and bleaching

Is just wrong. What is wrong with body parts as nature intended?

Do you shave your face and cut your hair?

What's the difference?

Do you shave your face and cut your hair?

What's the difference?

I prefer not getting a sore tongue or picking hairs out of my mouth

The reduction in body hair is probably porn's greatest gift to us. I had an ex that sported something akin to Davy Crockett's hat after an altercation with an axe-wielding maniac - she thought it was bordering on paedophilic to prefer waxed or shaven but was more than happy to shave her legs and armpits... 🙄

There's a huge pressure on girls to conform to what boys expect of them or what their peers consider is normal. This has always been the case but ineternet porn has added a whole new layer to this. And forget anal, bondage or threesomes, even the posters on STW expect a certain type of "normal".

The comments above on shaving and bleaching are great examples. Yeah, lets put up with a shaving rash or the pain of waxing just because the pre-pubescent look is now considered normal.

Some of you lot sound like you're part of the problem.

And what do you mean you don't like oral sex? All girls love the smell of unwashed cock and the taste of Jism - its all over the internet, you must be weird if you don't give head.

wow - jism isn't on the swear filter!

wow - jism isn't on the swear filter!

Yeah, that surprised me as well. And "unwashed cock"

Sandwiches any one?

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mattyfez is a bad man.

I nearly choked on my cuppa.

How are you going to monitor it?

One handed, obviously.

Mattyfez, I'm on a conference call, had to hit mute after seeing your 'rolls'

I explained it as Porn is to Sex as WWF is to fighting.

Sorry, what's this got to do with Pandas?

Sorry, what's this got to do with Pandas?

Depends on what websites you're browsing

Really tricky one - 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter.

My parents took it on trust with me. They knew I had mags, but it was on trust, and relationships were different to pron.

Taking the same approach with my lad. Seems to be working so far. We'll find out in the next few years. The cup of tea consent video and the Channel 4 Sex Ed documentary were compulsory viewing at home. The latter should be compulsory viewing in schools as well, deals with pron brilliantly

Subscribe them to the school of life channel. Youtube. You may be pleasantly surprised.

This reminds me of when I used to fly radio controlled aircraft.
The weather forecast for one particular weekend was awful, high winds and rain all weekend, so instead of turning up with all the normal models we decided we'd set up a computer with a simulator in the cabin cook a curry and just generally have a bit laugh.
The computer was supplied by the secretary's 14 year old son.

I totally agree with what somewhatslightlydazed said on the previous page.
And by the way, those of you who are scared of a bit of hair:
1. Women who shave or wax it all off are more likely to have sexually transmitted infections.
2. The fashion for shaving and waxing everything off is gradually falling out of favour, so I've heard.

Thanks Mattyfez - just choked on my post dinner cuppa.

This reminds me of when I used to fly radio controlled aircraft.
The weather forecast for one particular weekend was awful, high winds and rain all weekend, so instead of turning up with all the normal models we decided we'd set up a computer with a simulator in the cabin, cook a curry and just generally have a bit laugh.

The computer was supplied by the secretary's 14 year old son. Anyhow after a couple of hours we'd got bored of the simulator so decided to check his internet history, to be fair he'd hidden it quite well, but after a bit of searching there it was, every porn site he'd ever visited!
Cue 10 blokes crying with laughter while poor Stuart stood there, going a deep shade of scarlet, his head in hands, absolutely mortified while we discussed the finer points of his search criteria.
We even managed to catch a photo of the moment for prosperity, it's a shame I don't have access to it now.
I had to reassure him it perfectly normal, and his dad would be fine after he came up to me a little while later asking me what would his dad think. 😆

About the porn thing... meh, it's an age old phenomenon.

I like the wrestling/fighting analogy for explaining the difference between porn and sex to confused teens though! 🙂

As for people concerned with fashions in sexual practices - Dont be so reactionary..
Sexual revolutions are also an age old thing.. It really shouldn't matter what's in fashion if the people involved are consenting, respectful and hopefully maybe even having sex as part of a loving relationship..
Experimentation and developing personal preferences are part of growing up..

We're still at the total ban stage at home, he's only 11 so we're more concerned about accidental access to grot at this stage - he's got a mobile but the 4G access is restricted (account in my name so he can't access it) and he can't access it via the wifi at home. We share a PC and a laptop but he had his own restricted logins.

Can't last forever though, Microsoft and Apple both consider 14 to be 'of age' and they hand over total control to him on his 14th Birthday, he'll be gagging for a bit of grot by then Id guess.

Cos they don't exist. It's either ban it all (your isp can help) or non of it and as you can't ban him (24hrs a day), that kinda leaves one option.

How are you going to monitor it?