Pointless Rant No: ...
 

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Pointless Rant No: 4362

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Barbers and their selective hearing.

Took Funk Jr for his hair cutting today. Whisky there I asked the barber to blend the top of my beard with my bald head and tidy up the neckline a bit. Asked him not to take off any length and to leave the 'stache alone as I like it to cover my top lip.

Result: He did the blending and neckline but also trimmed the 'stache above my lip and utterly ****ed the rest of the beard. What the **** is wrong with them? First time at this barber but not the first time it has happened. I never learn and should just stick to trimming it myself.


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:36 pm
uggski and uggski reacted
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Need a picture to judge the offence

Whisky there I

Maybe you were slurring a little?


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:41 pm
 Andy
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My BiL sits in the barbers with a mirror, supervising every snip to thinning barnet and beard. He seems to change barbers often. He also spends at least an hour in the bathroom every morning to everyones eternal frustration,  I, and you, are not doing it right....


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:53 pm
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Pics needed before we pass judgement.... ?


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:54 pm
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Didn’t you notice him trimming your ‘tache? Did he sedate you with the whisky?


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:57 pm
thols2, bikesandboots, ernielynch and 9 people reacted
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I never learn

It's a bit like requesting "just a little bit of mustard" at a 2bit sandwich bar... <inserts half the bottle with yellow diarrhoea>


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 9:59 pm
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I noticed him trimming the moustache but I'm extremely British so said nothing and just quietly seethed. I just don't get how they can get it so wrong. I would upload a picture but the shame is too strong.


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 10:01 pm
prettygreenparrot, jimmy, jimmy and 1 people reacted
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I’m extremely British so said nothing and just quietly seethed.

Stiff upper lip and all that, eh? Good for you. And now everyone is able to see it!


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 10:11 pm
daviek, wheelsonfire1, funkmasterp and 11 people reacted
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Ah I remember as a youth going to Slasher Wood in his little shop by the picture house. I should have known better, I usually went to Reg Uren. Anyway after Slasher had finished he said "do you want Brylcreme"? "No" said I. "Too late" was the reply followed by a splat. Mum was horrified when I got home and next time I went back to Reg.


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 10:46 pm
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Barber just tired and not paying attention after his 18th fade on Sat before Xmas, maybe a little hungover.

Never happens at 9-11am on a Tuesday.


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 10:57 pm
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My biggest issue is the turkish barber.

Similar description of what you want except i hate a too long tache.

30 seconds later i appear to have a point chinstrap thing going on.


 
Posted : 21/12/2024 11:08 pm
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This was a Turkish barbers. Perhaps they have something against bushy beards and big 'staches. 🙂

The worst one was Mr Lister. I was 15 with luscious, long blonde hair. Popped in for a trim and he gave me a Dolph Lundgren He-Man mullet! The piss taking from my mates was so bad that I cut the mullet bit off myself.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 12:16 am
sirromj and sirromj reacted
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It’s for this reason I do my own - I have nobody to blame then but me.

And it costs me nothing.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 12:21 am
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This was a Turkish barbers. Perhaps they have something against bushy beards and big ‘staches.

Not forgetting eyebrows, they definetly have a thing about eyebrows.

My one and only trip to the Turkish barber, and to be honest there not much of a mane up there to get creative beyond a No2 all over, resulted in a No2 all over.

"want me to trim those eyebrows sir ?"

No thanks, fine as they are

Fzzzzzzt

Just went ahead anyway.

There was no tip forthcoming. So as above, do these 4r5eholes just not listen ??

And thats my one and only trip to the Turkish barbers. Bought hair clippers and i suit myself


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 1:54 am
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A visit to our local Turkish barbers is always an exciting adventure...  You just never know what's coming next (could be the naked flame to ear, could be the unasked-for slapping on of perfumed face cream/hair products).  The staff seem to rotate on a regular basis and each new barber has their own little eccentricities.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 8:20 am
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Turkish barbers

Well there's your problem right there.

Going to one and expecting anything other than the the one cut they know is like going to an EDL meet and looking for tolerance of difference.

Find. A. Proper. Barber.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 8:26 am
chipster, fasthaggis, chipster and 1 people reacted
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Oh the number of times a young lass has rushed and missed bits. I've had to go home and finish myself off.

The haircut wasn't great either.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 8:49 am
jimmy and jimmy reacted
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If I come out of a barbers with shorter hair than I went in I am generally happy.

Most barbers can do one haircut. They will listen as you describe what you'd like, agree, then do the haircut that they know.

The secret is to find a barber that does the haircut you want, then stick with them.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 9:45 am
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The haircut wasn’t great either

Bravo


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 10:00 am
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Well there’s your problem right there.

Going to one and expecting anything other than the the one cut they know is like going to an EDL meet and looking for tolerance of difference.

Find. A. Proper. Barber.

In my case it was a particular barber in an otherwise good barber, he didn't last long.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 10:09 am
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The secret is to find a barber that does the haircut you want, then stick with them.

The secret, if you actually have hair of any sort of length, is to go to a hairdresser rather than a barber. Dealing with longer hair is their bread & butter.

I've gone to the same one for years, following her when she's changed salons. She understands that "just a trim" means exactly that, and if I do want it cropping back it doesn't look like I've just escaped from Belsen.

Getting it cut right back in November was a mistake, mind. My neck is bloody freezing.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 10:20 am
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Most barbers can do one haircut. They will listen as you describe what you’d like, agree, then do the haircut that they know.

Good excuse to post this

Lionel Blair cut


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 11:28 am
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My first day in Edinburgh, in between doing the rounds of the employment agencies, I popped into a Kurdish barbers.

"You working?"

"Looking for work".

Long silence. Snip snip. Buzz. Snip.

"You from Edinburgh?"

"No, I just got here two days ago."

"You like it?"

"I don't know yet."

"In Edinburgh people is not happy. Is no one smile."

"No?"

"No. Is too much gold."

"Too much gold?"

"Yes. No one smile."

Pause while we observe the passers-by, none of whom are smiling.

"How long have you been here?"

"Four years."

"From where?"

"Turkey. Is hot, everyone smile."

Comprehension dawns.

Years later, he turned up in one of my classes. Lovely guy.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 11:38 am
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Find. A. Proper. Barber

I normally go to a guy I trust with the beard once it gets to homeless dwarf living in a hedgerow proportions. I didn't think it would be possible to utterly balls up a sideboard blend and neckline. Fool that I am!

Should be alright in a week or two.


 
Posted : 22/12/2024 6:01 pm

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