[Closed] Please help with Best-man's speech?

You could start off with a few minutes of nice, sincere stuff, then segue into the embarrassing details:"before you run away with the idea that he's Mr Goody Two-shoes, whose most fervent desire is to stay at home with a cup of milky tea, reading the Bible, I feel it's only fair to give the [i]other[/i] side of John. We were in this bar in Mombasa and........."[insert gory story]

"I'm struggling to this without sounding sarcastic or people expecting a punch-line! However, I want to say how he's a really great friend, how he was there for me when my father died, was a great best-man for me."

Wasn't difficult was it ?

IMO the best speaches are the ones where people DON'T stick to the preconceptions of what the speech should be, if they do they are just tedious, and you can feel the punch lines coming

Sounds like you're half way there already - just keep it real.

The best best man's speeches I've seen have been side-splitters from real comedians. That's about 1% of them. Of the other 99%, those that are good humoured, but genuine, always work best.

It's worth remembering, it's about the most receptive audience you could ever make a speech in front of. Everyone is really happy and, mostly, half cut buy the time you have to stand up.

People expect the full embarrassing details, not the full details of what a great bloke he is. You could say that anyone who's met him, with the exception of that one-eyed hooker in Mombasa, knows what a fantastic, caring, guy he is, and how thrilled he is to be marrying such a sweet, wonderful woman...., and then get straight on to the toast.

ive bene bestman a few times, my advice stay well clear of the millions of cliched sh*te on the net and write it from the heart.

be sincere as above but you can always get in a joke that only you and him know, do it in a subtle way.

I've done it twice... both times I wrote about 6 words on a piece of paper and winged it.

The words were prompts to a list of anecdotes which I had been thinking about before and had decided roughly how I wanted to say them for best effect.

The rest of the speech and all the joining bits were just off the cuff and from the heart.

I have a bit of a bumbly rolling speech style which works best when I'm making it up as I go - if I try to read off a card I sound really wooden.

Both speeches went down really well (so I'm told).

Play to your own strengths, and stay away from internet speech sites.

Dave

I had to Best Man recently, and although I was really nervous before the speech (particularly because the groom's speech was genuinely hilarious and I was sure I didn't have the material to follow him) it actually went really well, and I enjoyed every second.

Needn't have worried though, because it's a wedding! Everyone is there to have a good time, and everyone really wants to think happy, warm thoughts about people, especially about the couple.

I don't buy into the "must embarrass the groom" idea. I did stick in a couple of stories, but I thought it was important that the story included the details of how he coped and responded to what was going on, and why he did it in his own particular way.

This is probably the one situation where you can actually be totally warm and genuine about the guy - people love to hear it, and he will as well. It's not a show or a performance, it's you talking about your best mate.

EDIT: It's also a surefire way of getting the bridesmaids to cry and fall briefly in love with you.

FunkyDunc - Member
"I'm struggling to this without sounding sarcastic or people expecting a punch-line! However, I want to say how he's a really great friend, how he was there for me when my father died, was a great best-man for me."

Wasn't difficult was it ?

Possibly don't bring up too many details about your dad dying though, as important as it is to you.

Props can work,I pretented I'd gained access to future bride and grooms hotel room to play a few tricks and found a bag of naughty sex paraphernalia.I slowly emptied the bag and displayed the contents of the bag whilst providing a commentary,nothing too coarse,it went down well.
Try not to read out a full speech from a sheet of paper,as said before,a few reminders on a piece of paper and fill in the bits in between from memory.
Reading cards?just pick out 2 or 3 at the most(preferably from people who couldn't make the wedding).O did this and apologized to the people who wanted to hear their names mentioned.
Keep it clean bit add a bit of innuendo.
Just remember,the worst that can happen is that you make a total tw4t of yourself.

Possibly don't bring up too many details about your dad dying though, as important as it is to you.

That's where I'm struggling a bit as I want to say how he was there for me, but I don't want to be depressing by bringing up death on a wedding day!

Just remember,the worst that can happen is that you make a total tw4t of yourself

I think it's too late in my life to worry about that 😳

A good speech is a fairly short speech IMHO. Do the traditional bits, a couple of anecdotes and jokes, toast the bride a groom and sit back down

The only best man speeches I haven't enjoyed have been the ones that have rambled on for 10+ minutes

A good speech is a fairly short speech IMHO. Do the traditional bits, a couple of anecdotes and jokes, toast the bride a groom and sit back down

This is what I'm gonna do, I've just decided I don't need the extra paragraph so it'll do as it is, I've just timed myself and it's about 3 mins and covers all the important stuff! Thanks all.

Not too many 'in' jokes though - been to a few weddings where all the guests were just left feeling stupid and confused whilst the groom and best man winked and giggled at each other...

Tick.

Am joint best man for a friends wedding in a few weeks time. Its the first time either of us have been best man so following this with interest for any tips.

The groom in question has a particular affinity for drawing phallus' but I think had better gloss over that!

[i]Possibly don't bring up too many details about your dad dying though, as important as it is to you.

That's where I'm struggling a bit as I want to say how he was there for me, but I don't want to be depressing by bringing up death on a wedding day!
[/i]

Maybe you dont have to go into specifics but perhaps could say something along the lines that he's a great friend and has been then through tough times. A freind in need is a friend indeed and all that.

in amongst the usual formalities, I just told genuine from the heart stories of humorous escapades and near misses we'd got into over the years (helps if you're life long friends), so everyone could enjoy the stories(bear in mind half the room are her family and friends who'll hardly know him). Ran it along a theme and luckily it just naturally flowed from me (with odd prompts from cards).
The worst I've experienced are people reading robot fashion from cards, people who've written for a small select group of mates, where no one else gets the in jokes and people who are over smutty and rude so half the room may be cringing.

I don't think you will appear gushing about them as long as you don't dwell on the gushing.

As a photographer, including a wedding or two, i'm a veteran of speeches from top drawer to dire....
The best, without doubt (and, as said above) are from the heart as they are, by definition sincere.

Been best man a couple of times and the sincere with some leg pulling is perfect and expected. First time I did it I asked the brides mother for some advice and she told me to keep it short and clean, so I had it dangling in a glass all morning...de-dum tish! IGMC.

If he really is a special friend, a nice way in is to start by saying when you were asked to be best man you got some books and asked on the web about what to say when making a speech, then something light like, they recommend talking about how the couple met, but then they also say to avoid any stories about sex, so i can't do anything. They said to talk a bit about some daft things he's done in the past, but hey also said to keep the speech to 7 minutes, the advice i got has been useless. So I'm just going to tell you about him......
*big sincere and light hearted piece*
then finish with ..
and as i finish this i realise that the reason that these books and all the advice i received was useless is because xxxx isn't like every other groom, he's a one off, special and unique and none of the things that people usually say are enough to capture his true spirit.
*then to downplay the sickly sweetness* After they made ****, the broke the mould... They had to, it was crap.

*and finish to appreciative applause*