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The "Lost in Space" thread got me thinking about remakes, reboots and the many terrible examples there have been over the years. Then I googled upcoming remakes and it appears there are literally hundreds in development at any time and the casting seems utterly random.
So STW, let's hear your movie remake ideas - take any classic film (even if it's already been remade) and re-cast and (if you want) re-imagine it for today's Omniplex audiences. Post names and pics of the main cast, add a director if you want, and extra forum points if you manage to sneak in a remake that's actually in production without anyone noticing.
Example
Trainspotting
Baltimore, present day. We follow the misadventures of a group of misfit crack addicts led by Mark Renton
Chris Pine
Sick Boy
Jared Leto
Spud
Micheal Pena
and Begbie
played by Walton Goggins. Directed by James Franco, scored by 30 seconds to Mars.
The Ipcress Files with Jason Statham playing the Michael Caine character 🙂
Rain Man with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson as Ray Babbitt
Empire Strikes Back, but with, say, a young English actress in the part of Luke Skywalker, and Mark Hamill in the character of Yoda 😉
Batman with Ben Aff... oh no they already did that one.
And
"Jurassic World"
The Ipcress Files with Jason Statham playing the Michael Caine character
This sounds better than The Italian Job with Marky Mark playing the Michael Caine character. Not that I could bring myself to watch that, it might have been amazing for all I know.
Awakenings with
Seth Rogan in the Robin Williams Doctor part
and Nic Cage replacing de Niro
it might have been amazing for all I know.
Might have been.
Wasn't.
The Homebase Chainsaw Massacre.
Excellent PP! I love the idea of the maniac chasing the victim with an electric chainsaw until the plug comes out of the wall.
The Matrix, with Plank O'Wood playing Neo.
perchypanther
The Homebase Chainsaw Massacre.
The movie title pun thread is somewhere over there >>>. Let's try again.
Rambo: First Blood.
US Navy Seal John Rambo returns from Afghanistan and gets embroiled in a feud with a small town Sheriff who doesn't take kindly to drifters.
John Rambo
Sheriff Will Teasle
Col. Sam Trautman
Groundhog Day 2
Ice Cold In Alex:
John Mills replaced by Nick Cage.
Harry Andrews by Danny Glover.
Meryl Streep and Eddie Murphy in drag as the nurses.
Antony Quayle replaced by Hugh Laurie playing a Russian pretending to be English.
A Hummvee.
Budweiser.
The Dambusters, directed by Tarantino with Samuel L Jackson in the Guy Gibson role.
Due a remake, and as it's now the way in Hollywood to use British Actors playing American parts -
The Shining
Tom Hardy as Jack Torrance
Keira Knightly as Wendy
Tinchy Strider as Halloran
Auditions for the part of Danny being held in Manchester as we speak.
Non-Binary Alfie, starring Lena Dunham in the title role.
A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven
Musicals are hip and happening again now, so how about a re-make of My Fair Lady?
But let's get socially progressive and gender-switch the lead roles.
So Keira Knigtley as posh professor Henrietta Higgins and Danny Dyer as cheeky cockernee chappy Eddie Doolittle, but instead of selling flowers he works in a Nandos.
Get Carter.
Sylvester Stallone is Jack Carter, a villain tied to the mob who returns home to attend his brothers funeral...
A mediocre movie, one that relies on a formulaic storyline, and poor performances from those involved
North by Northwest starring Jack Black
Groundhog Day 3
New Rambo but this time the leading character is a teenaged girl who loves anime. And big knives.
Where Eagles Dare dumbed down for a new generation so they can adequately explain WTF happens in the dining hall by the big fire place.
Night Manager geezer as Major Smith
Dwayne The Rock as Schaffer
Keep Anton Diffring as Colonel Kramer in a Peter Cushing CGI styleee and of course the Schmeissers and never-ending dynamite. So really just looking for an explanation..
Lawrence of Arabia - Ice Cube to play the Peter O'Toole role.
Groundhog Day 3
Who dares wins with paddy mcguiness in the Lewis Collins role.
Casino.
Donald Trump replaces Robert De Niro as casino front man for the mob, drawing on his extensive real life experience. Of running a casino.
Michael Coen replaces Joe Pesci as the mob enforcer but in a plot update co-operates with the Feds rather than ending up in a shallow grave.
arrpee
A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven
Would watch.
Non-Binary Alfie, starring Lena Dunham in the title role.
*likes*
How about a reboot of classic screwball comedy His Girl Friday, with Emma Watson and Channing Tatum?
Except print is dead, so all the action takes place over Twitter.
Titanic but with Radar.
I'd quite like to see how Jack gets on.
Jaws
Chief Brody
Hooper
Quint
Police Chief Martin Brody thought he would get a nice quite life policing a small tourist island community. That was until tourists started washing up dead on his beach. Against the wishes of the mayor (cameo by Kevin Spacey) he goes on a hunt to find the aquatic killer aided by Oceonographer Hooper and grizzled shark fisherman Quint. In the final act we discover the marine monster is in fact a giant mass of waste plastic in a laboured metaphor for pollution / global warming. Nicholas Winding Refn directs.
arrpee
A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven
Would watch.
You might re-consider that when I reveal that Michael Douglas's V-neck will also reprise its original role in the club scene.
Titanic.
Remade by Luc Besson.
Set in space, the maiden voyage of the SS Titanic. It crashes into a meteor.
Jack played by Andy Serkis is some sort of Alien creature & Rose played my Mila Kunis
A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven
A remake of Basic Instinct, with the original cast playing each others' roles.
Groundhog Day 4
A shot-for-shot remake of Basic Instinct, featuring the original cast in their original roles, and once again directed by Paul Verhoeven
A remake of Basic Instinct, with the original cast playing each others’ roles.
Michael Douglas would be glorious in the police interview scene. Imagine how his pendulous old-man balls would underline his contempt for the interviewers as he crosses and uncrosses his legs.
Under siege staring Connor Mcregor aboard a cross channel ferry day trip .
He could be running a coffee shop/hot dog stand & has to take down religious fanatic football hooligans.
Ant Man.
Declan Donnelly stands by the side of the road and watches his career crash through no fault of his own. He is only able to utter two words of disgust.
A belated sequel to the 90's classic Jeff Man
JFK, with Trump as JFK Robert Muller as Costner but the twist being everyone confesses to the killing
Every Disney movie ever re-done by Tarantino
Alvin and the Chipmunks voiced by Samuel L Jackson, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.
Steve McQueen's "Hunger" re-imagined as a comedy, starring Jack Black as Bobby Sands.
He's supposed to be starving himself to death, but he just can't help eating snacks!
Soundtrack by Justin Timberlake.
Point Break.
You could....
Never mind. I don't think I can make it any more awful than the remake.
Who dares wins...
I have original storyboards for that on my wall.
All the Presidents Men directed by and Staring Stormy Daniels
and finally
Following the death of his wife, Gateshead police detective Martin Riggs (Ant ) becomes reckless and suicidal. When he is reassigned and partnered with Roger Murtaugh (Dec), Riggs immediately clashes with the older officer. Together they uncover a massive drug-trafficking ring. As they encounter increasingly dangerous situations, Riggs and Murtaugh begin to form a bond. Riggs' volatile behavior might just help them apprehend the criminals -- if it doesn't kill them both first.
Darkest Hour
In March 2019, the fate of Western Europe hangs on British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who must decide whether to negotiate with Jean-Claude Juncker and the EU, or fight on knowing that it could mean a humiliating defeat for Britain.
Boris chooses humiliating defeat for Britain.
Groundhog Day 5
BMX Bandits with the cast made up of the STW Towers brigade.
"Teens P.J. (Chipps) and Goose (Wil) get their thrills on E-bikes, performing hair-raising tricks all across Bath, England. Along with their new friend Judy (Hannah), they discover a box of walkie-talkies -- and find out that a gang of criminals intends to use them to monitor police signals during a bank robbery. When the young trio snatches the devices, it propels them on a hair-raising adventure in which their pedaling skills might just save their necks"</span>
Directed by Anthill Films
Withnail & I reboot. Set in New York, all female cast, directed by Paul Feig
Bridesmaids reboot. Set in New York, all male cast, directed by John Moore
Groundhog Day - The Day Before
A bit more serious, I want to see a remake of Damnation Alley, a truly crap film based on Roger Zelazney’s post-apocalypse novel. In the book, the ‘hero’ is Hell Tanner, last of the Hells Angels, in the film, the hero is this bloke:
I mean, seriously? Ok, it’s almost typecasting, but in the remake this is who I want to see on the rôle:
Three Colours - Blue. Directed by Oliver Stone and starring Daniella Westbrook.
The Pianist. Directed by Danny Boyle and staring James Cordon.
Mr. Hulot's Holiday. Directed by James Carpenter and starring Sean Penn.
Mike Leigh's School For Scoundrels.
but in the remake this is who I want to see on the rôle:
Paul Hollywood’s let himself go!
Die Hard.
Grizzled NYPD Detective John McClane flies into San Francisco on Xmas Eve to try and patch things up with his estranged wife who is a high ranking executive in a giant Social Media corporation. During the Xmas Eve party a gang of highly organised European terrorists storm the building with the intention of stealing the private data of EVERY AMERICAN in a laboured metaphor for the Trump election hack. Bryan Singer directs.
Det. John McCLane
Hans Gruber
I want to see a remake of Damnation Alley, a truly crap film based on Roger Zelazney’s post-apocalypse novel. In the book, the ‘hero’ is Hell Tanner, last of the Hells Angels, in the film, the hero is this bloke:
You could probably recast Jan-Michael Vincent with Jan-Michael Vincent.
LekuSubscriber
Bridesmaids reboot. Set in New York, all male cast, directed by John Moore
Wrong thread, that sounds amazing 😎
Groundhog Day 6
Groundhog Day
Paul Hollywood’s let himself go!
🤣
You could probably recast Jan-Michael Vincent with Jan-Michael Vincent.
😳 Christ on a pogo stick! I had to look him up to make certain, he should be shown to Ant as an example of where drugs and alcohol can get you! Thing is, at the end of the film, Hell Tanner wouldn’t look like that, he’d look just like he does at the beginning. That is bloody sad, though.
Reservoir dogs, starring the spice girls.
Actually, scratch that, that could actually work.
A shot for shot remake of Norbit with Danny dyer replacing Eddie Murphy
