Piles anyone

Get to your GP and get referred to surgery.

The worst part was the lovely nurse on the ward having a nice chat and then wanting an inspection ☺️

Although it was a little unsettling when the very smiley  surgeon announced that my chocolate starfish was "lovely" at the final check-up.

In the mean time scrupulous but gentle hygiene, slather on the Frogging cream and try to poke 'em in before a ride.

Lovely.

Piles you say?

Not helpful for getting out riding, but this video is a fascinating distraction if you can't get out on a bike. 35 million others seem to agree.

How PHC Piles are made.

what an interesting video!!

anywho... get some over the counter treatment from the pharmacy to help reduce them.

then get to your GP to have a double check.

they may subside on their own. or you may need a cut n shut.

either way... dont think they will 'sort themselves out'... as usually they dont. 🙁

slather on the Frogging cream

Scoff Crudle! Ho ho; five pounds!

Getting older keeps on giving. Don't remind me when MIL used to insist her daughters did her 'cream'

Only bit in that video that could be helpful is the steam treatment bit. Can't see how it helps with concrete trapped in a mold but I bet it could shrink the OP's grapes of wrath pretty quickly.

Watching that video was probably the most interesting 9 minutes of my day today. Anyone spot how the kept the centre core hollow? I didn't see anything to stop it filling with concrete and don't have time yet to watch again.

Germoloids Ointment - not the cream, that's too liquid and doesn't 'persist' as long as the ointment.

Slather on, and in, pre-ride and hope for the best.

Great video. Centripetal force spinning the molds whilst the concrete sets. Where is Auntie Mabel and Tiffin when you need them?

As for other piles. Anusol and applicator, be generous.

I think I get very mild ones when my generally very good diet goes t*ts and/or in times of stress. I have used E45 (my go to lotion) and it feels good. Normally back onto the right diet get shot of them in a couple days. I am guessing I have only had very mild ones.

Getting old certainly does suck a$$ sometimes 🙂

Calm those mothers right down.

Diet first! Eat stuff that doesn't require much of a push. Think "otter sliding off a river bank" and that's half the battle.

Creams, good hygiene and use of biodegradable wipes or flannel rather than paper.

OOoft. Nobby's little torture terrors. I've been there back in the day.

The prescription is Anusol suppositories (yes you have to shove them where the sun don't shine, yes it's 'uncomfortable'). Suppositories because the damage is internal (the grapes are what swells out through the hole) so suppositories work much, much better than cream.

Also, lots of roughage in diet (Weetabix not cornflakes, wholemeal bread etc).

Finally, when you do visit porcelain throne, two things. One get a box to put your feet on. The semi-squat position this creates means evacuating your bowels is much easier (we're meant to squat). Also, let what comes out naturally, come out. Don't push the last bits out, that is often the cause (or worsification) of piles.

You'll thank me

As a former sufferer, you have my sympathy.

As above: plenty of fibre, stay hydrated, lots of exercise (where possible) and a wet wipe for the final polish.

Good luck.

Username checks out

5 weeks post surgery here (actually had a tumour just up inside my colon, but also had a bit of a "tidy up" around the hole too)... Recovery from it has been the most agonisingly painful thing I have ever experienced! NOTHING prepares you for it... The "papercut on your bumhole" analogy doesn't begin to describe it, it is far far worse...

But it does slowly get better...

Try getting rid through diet, good hygiene and creams first. Not gonna lie though, they're not always effective. Problem I now have is the surgery I had 5 weeks ago to remove said tumour, I now have another arse grape for my troubles as a fall out of the recovery process! 🤦🏻

As a long-time sufferer you have my sympathies.

I once went to the GP cos mine were giving me some grief, and the over-the-counter stuff wasn't doing much good. The GP had a look and said that they really warranted surgery, specifically banding. Now I was busy at work on a project, so told her I couldn't really afford the time off so asked her if there was anything better than the proprietary Anusols or Germoloids which she could prescribe.

She told me that there wasn't really anything better, but told me she had heard an old wives' tale which might be worth a go. She said that cold tea has healing properties, and that a cold used teabag applied as a compress might help to shrink them and relieve some of the pain and itching.

We agreed I'd give it a go and come back in a coupe of weeks if that doesn't work and she'd make a referral.

Thing is, I don't use teabags, I use loose-leaf Assam in a pot but being an inventive chap I scooped the leaves out of the pot once they'd cooled and applied them wrapped in kitchen towel.

A fortnight later I was back in the surgery and she told me to jump up on the couch, face the wall and draw my knees up to my chest so she could examine me.

I heard her chair scrape on the floor as she leaned in

"Well, your piles aren't any better," she said "but you are at a cross-roads in your life. You are going on a journey and will meet a tall, dark handsome stranger......"

^^^ bastard. I read all that.

Brutal pain, especially when they bleed.

I would recommend:

Suppositories rather than cream (Boots own-brand ones are a lot cheaper than some and work)
Nair to make things super smooth round your bumhole to make wiping easier (DEFINITELY only do this when they're not flaring up).
Babywipes to wipe when they're sore. Again Boots do biodegradable ones - but still remember not to flush.

Andrex Washlets are flushable.

@scapegoat made me laugh!!! 😂

Andrex Washlets are flushable.

There's a few brands now to be fair... Just read the packaging and check. To be found in the toilet paper aisle in the Supermarket NOT the baby care aisle as they're different products.

I now carry a pack with me at all times just in case I get caught short, cos the fallout of surgery and potentially having to use the toilet paper wherever I may get caught short doesn't bear thinking about!

As for other piles. Anusol and applicator, be generous

+1

I’d also get into the habit of having a bran based breakfast cereal 🙂

Wowsers Nair on yer bumholio, I suppose you could get it lasered if you can er take the embarrassment which would do it a bit more permanently.

Lol @ scapegoat!

I had 'em a few years back. The cream did the trick. You'll be reet op.

Scapegoat you b stard, ha ha ha. I'm told aloe vera is a good calming/healing material (and cheap) for polishing your rim.

SquatEasy ☺️👍

Ha ha ha @scapegoat..thanks for the replies, atm the Dr has given me prescription but bullets because anusole wasn't doing anything...its got till Monday to work or the Dr wants to look...barf!!
Just wondering, has anyone had the banding done?...if so how bad is it..because it sound real bad

I've only ever had minor surgery, not the banding itself. Although a couple of folk I know have had it and were uncomfortable for a couple of days, then lasting relief thereafter.

I've had problematic external ones lanced under local anaesthetic, and it's not something I'd look forward to tbh.

Learning to live with and manage them is key. A bran breakfast is a good starter, but when they flare up I would say cleanliness is absolutely essential, so wash rather than wipe, pat dry then use cream or ointment to push any protruders back into place. It's these that are causing the majority of the pain and problems, as they are on the wrong side of the sphincter and will just continue to engorge if left there. Stand up, relax and replace. I say stand up because you will "clench" them back into place more easily than if you were sitting or squatting.

If you've done this, it's much easier to insert the magic bullets too.

Tbh honest....having a poo didn't make it protrude....it was me pushing out a fart...tried to push it up...but it just gets all hulk like angry

Anyone frequent the Barryboys forum a few years ago when Romney McPlum trimmed his chalfonts with nail clippers?

My only experience of piles was one solitary maddeningly painful bum-grape that seemed to coincide almost exactly with the temporary reappearance of a crazy ex girlfriend. It was like my body was saying: "dude, WTF!? DANGER!". She moved on soon after and likewise, the angry little fella retreated to whence it came. Never had them before or since.