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I posted on here about 4 months ago about my cat Fudge who’d just been diagnosed with a fibrosarcoma. After much soul-searching we decided then not to have him operated on and instead let him live out his (shorted as a result) days as happy as could be without all the associated trauma until it was ‘time’. I think ‘time’ has arrived.
Over the months his lump has got bigger and bigger to the point where its now really affecting him - as well as it being cumbersome it’s now an irritant he keeps scratching so it’s either a scab or red raw. He’s been sleeping more and more of late but purring and responsive with still enough of his old traits to make us think we’re not there yet. Just this last couple of days thought things have changed. I noticed on Sun night for the first time his body language was ‘I’m done’ but wasn’t sure as it was a fleeting moment. Yesterday though I nipped home from work to see if he needed some strokes etc, clean his wound or some treats but no sign of him - called and looked around for him in the street…no sign. I then happened to look out the window and tapped when I saw him in the front garden when he glared at me with a look that said ‘f*** you’ before skulking off then not seeing him then until last night. He didn’t respond to my calling him but did when the wife got back from a long weekend away. After cleaning his wound he lay on his blanket without even wanting food, looking pretty fed up, eventually drifting off where he’s been ever since. No purring, no twitching his tail when you call his name or stroke him. We both realised (we think) that we are now in the last few days. Lots of tears last night but the wife is sleeping on the sofa next to him right now and booked tomorrow off work. I have a work deadline that can’t be shifted so have to go in but really don’t want to and have been going over and over things looking at various pet websites over the last few hours. I don’t want to not be with him as he’s been so key in our lives over the last 10 years. I just hope we haven’t left it too late but don’t want it to be too early either. It’s a decision that’s been kicked down the line because he’s been ok over the summer as much as a cat with terminal cancer can be. Some dark days lie ahead and we’re both dreading not having him around. We’re monitoring him today/tomorrow but fear we won’t have our boy come Thursday and it hurts like hell.
Apologies for the ramble but I guess the takeaway is ‘when’ is it time? 😢
Sorry for your (impending) loss. I think having written your post you’ve answered your own question.
A day or two either way is small beer in the context of a long and happy life. I’d err on the side of not prolonging suffering, but that’s just my opinion at a distance.
It sounds like now is the time. It’s so hard to lose a beloved pet. Following someone’s else’s advice here - I think, getting a visit at home from the vet is a good move. Take care.
The best thing about being a pet is that (unlike humans) your death doesn't have to be a dragged out undignified eternity of pain, suffering and defeat. Do the right thing by Fudge and pop to the vets.
If you’re asking this question then you already know the answer. Went through this just over a year ago with our 14 year old cat, then just under a year ago with our 13 year labrador. It’s the most difficult thing I’ve had to do but it was the right time. Devastated doesn’t come close.
Sorry that you’re having to go through it now, just be reassured that you gave your pet a good life filled with love.
Another point, and sorry if this is close at this time.
Animals do not fear death in the way we do. There's no sense of not seeing people again, of all the things they didn't do, of the chances they missed. No-one has culturally instilled that in them, nor do they wonder if there's everlasting life to come or not. There's just the creeping inevitability and discomfort of being less and less well. By being too early, you aren't 'robbing them' of these thoughts, or of saying goodbye to people that haven't managed to get there yet. Those are all in your head.
Perhaps there is an instinctive knowledge that something is happening, a neighbour's cat took itself away to a safe place and laid down and died under a bush in their garden. So being kind to them and with them is important. And perhaps in those very last moments if they hated the vet then taking them to the vets is in itself unkind, but all you are doing now is releasing them from unnecessary suffering, which as i say may not yet be intolerable but by the sounds of it very soon will be. Don't regret being too kind even if you think you could have had one more day for your own sadness.
I'd second the home visit by vet, less distressing for our dog who we lost 5 years ago and nicer environment for us to say goodbye.
Sounds like you know its time, but I wouldn't worry about an extra day if it means you can be with your pal too.
It's bloody hard, be kind to yourselves and don't 2nd guess your decision, you know him best and acting in his best interests.
We have only had to do it once to a sixteen year old whippet. We were naturally distraught, the tears flowed on the way back from the vets that is for sure. We wondered if we had done it too early for a few days and then we looked back at photo's and it was amazing how much she had changed in the last six months. You know the time and have no regrets.
Roll forward many years and we have a fourteen plus year old Patterdale who is having issues sleeping at night, Nutracalm is really helping but I just get the feeling that she is not here for long. Last night I had a moment, they are lovely little buggers.
Best of luck, take care of yourself.
We decided with one of ours when she stopped being able to get to the loo was the time to go. From jumping up and down on the settee (which she hadn't been able to do), to being unable to move far was a matter of days. - Made worse by being in bloody lockdown (i.e. vet access).
Better a week early than a day late.
Sadly this is something we have first hand experience of saying goodbye to one of our dogs last Thursday.
Our dog, Juno, until the last few hours was giving us a waggy tail and skipped around but her breathing (likely COPD) was meaning that the slightest activity was exhausting her and visibly stressing her. She was also sleeping a lot.
We had a close call in the summer where she was responsive to meds but this time luck was not on any of our sides. I really struggled with reconciling all of this, and its gotten very dusty writing this, but our decision was the correct one.
She went peacefully with us at her side.
I lost a dog to a rare form of blood cancer. So rare that we went through a couple of months of despair and hope in equal measure as we tried to figure out what it was and if we could treat it. She was in a specialist vet hospital at the end getting tests and they called and said we needed to get up there immediately and make the call as she was deteriorating fast. The moment I saw her I knew and I think she did too, the spark had gone from her eyes. She still came to see me wagging her tail and we sat together for a little bit, had a last wee walk around outside then she sat in my lap and went to sleep. I still miss her every single day and whilst it was the hardest thing to do I know it was the right decision. And at least I got to say goodbye properly.
Damn, it's definitely got dusty in here.
I believe when you take a pet into your home you accept two responsibilities- give them a good life, and give them a good death. It's terrible time but you owe it to them, have a last day and arrange the vet, sorry for your loss.
Vet coming to the house at 12pm
😭
Vet has been. Fudge passed away on my lap in the sun in the garden just after 1 after cuddles and treats for the last few hours. We are exhausted, cried-out (I doubt that), numb and devastated. We’ll miss him soooooooo much. It’s prob a terrible idea but I’m going a crack a beer
Sorry for your loss - you've just done the kindest thing you could for your cat.
Sorry for your loss, I’m getting upset just reading through this, I’m still working through a state of grief from losing Jo, and the thought of losing anything or anyone like that I find difficult to deal with, so I know exactly how you feel. Take care of yourselves.
You done good mate, take comfort in that
*deep breath*
I went down this road with my old girl of 18 years. I had a home visit, she passed in my arms.
I feel your pain. If you want someone to blub against, DM me.
cried-out (I doubt that)
Yeah right. Come back in about 2043.
Also, where are the goddamn pictures? I demand Fudge pics.
You've done the right thing. Absolutely the right thing. Don't ever have any doubts or hesitation that it was too early.
As others have said, better a week too early than a day too late.