Sad tidings, TJ. May you find comfort.
Not been on here consistently recently, so I’ve somehow missed this thread, and I’m sorry for that. TJ, you sent me lovely thoughts when my Joey died, and I return them wholeheartedly. You two were blessed that you had that time together at the end, and were able to say all the things you needed to say, which is a comfort. It’s my greatest sadness that I never had that opportunity to say goodbye, and to tell Joey I loved her, it was just too sudden. Take care, and treasure your memories.
hi TJ, just got back on to the forum after a few days away (having been alerted to the news by jojo). I don't think we've met, though we have conversed and have mutual acquaintances (some more surprising than others).
Heart wrenching to read the news in print as it were - thoughts - both our thoughts - go out to you and extended family, hope that you can take the positive memories you've shared over decades forward. Grief is OK too. :hugs: Callum & Anne-Marie (also nurse, now lapsed, from the old ERI).
So sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you can take some comfort from the kind comments on here.
@CountZero lovely stuff to read. It's why Mrs Sandwich doesn't object to me spending time here.
“see how many STWers I can find IRL”
Add the Mystic East (Ipswich) to the list.
“see how many STWers I can find IRL”
I'd rather tickle my bits with a nettle than meet people IRL, but I'll make an exception this time.
Might even rock up on the 25 yr old stumpjumper, which I've literally never ridden.
W.Yorks is lovely btw 🙃
So sorry to hear this TJ deepest condolences .
Rich
Heart rending to read. No words can offer solace, but thoughts are with you dude.
I have just been interviewed for the Sunday times. Scots government are launching an assisted dying bill on monday. The newspaper piece is in support of that.
Good to hear that you are able to help in the campaign to spare needless suffering Jeremy.
Ta. Might as well use the tale for something good. Few folk are in the privileged position I was in to ensure a peaceful end.
I’ve only just seen this, TJ. I’m so very, very sorry to hear your sad news. It seems as if I’ve known you (if only virtually) ever since I first became a STW member. I can only wish you all the very best for everything that you decide to do from now on - all my best to you.
I wanted to make an update to this. I hope it doesn't come over as too self indulgent
Julie did not want a funeral or any fuss at all. " no weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth" she said. She did however want her ashes scattered at Lochan na Herba - a beautiful spot in the highlands that we had been to many times and said we would camp there one day but never did.
After some "discussion" she did allow me to arrange a small ceremony there for her friends and family to attend. However no one was allowed to the crematorium - not even me. I wasn't even allowed to buy an urn - her ashes ended up in a biscuit tin! ( a beautiful old tin that she had kept her sewing kit in and that she got from her mother)
I invited her friends and family to join me at the lochan ( a 3 mile walk from the road) to celebrate her life and to enjoy a picnic of cheese sandwiches and cheese and onion crisps ( her favourites). We called this "Julies Picnic" as she was very fond of a picnic. 40 folk turned up.
NO outsiders were present - just family and friends. Our friend Stuart did the introductions and gathered us all around, I told the story of her life including a few amusing anecdotes. I was only able to do this because in years gone by she had taught me how to speak in public.
Some friends sang " the wild mountain thyme" which is a song we used to sing together on our wanderings and I , with the support of my mother and our friend Iona, scattered a token amount of ashes into the lochan. I was only allowed to scatter a token amount because according to her its polluting!
We then sang a few choruses of " the happy wanderer" and marched up and down to lighten the mood, drank a toast to her and then settled down to a picnic and chat.
It was an incredibly hot day to the point people were jumping in the lochan to stave off heatstroke
Once again pour friends rallied round in an incredible way to make sure everything worked and to take the load off my shoulders.
there was laughter, there was tears, and there was a fine picnic. It went just as she wanted and it was totally appropriate to the woman she was and her hatred of "fuss" and love for the mountains
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51521117264_89fa4c62d3_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51521117264_89fa4c62d3_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muKccf ]02 - everyone heads to the lochan[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
Me speachifying - its not a nazi salute honest!
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51519596447_59ad15251c_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51519596447_59ad15251c_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muBp7g ]05[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51519597677_9cca17481f_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51519597677_9cca17481f_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muBptt ]08 the listeners[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51520636128_c85e34a8f3_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51520636128_c85e34a8f3_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muGJaN ]14[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51521123714_c0564a0939_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51521123714_c0564a0939_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muKe7s ]18 Jeremy toasts[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
[url= https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51520417781_3757c672bc_k.jp g" target="_blank">https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51520417781_3757c672bc_k.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/2muFBgc ]22 the swimmers[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/25846484@N04/ ]TandemJeremy[/url], on Flickr
more pictures here if anyone wants
https://flic.kr/s/aHsmWKSpFL
Thank you for indulging me with this. Its cathartic for me and I hope of interest to some of you. remember - no weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth
Having a stiff whiskey now
I can see why you chose such a place as that to remember and celebrate her life.
As for the biscuit tin, we need more people like that in the world, that's my kind of person.
She was and still is loved by many people that knew her, obviously. Can't think of a better legacy mate.
Sounds like you had a beautiful, thoughtful, and emotional, memorial for Julie Jeremy.
I'm glad you shared that. I know today hasn't been a particularly good day for you, but I guess there will be down days as well as up days. The unpredictability must make it harder to cope.
I had a real wobble earlier but recovered quite quickly and writing that helped
thanks for indulging me and the support I have had from here has been really helpful.
Well done, TJ, a fine way to celebrate her life, and I'm happy to read about it.
Really great to read that tj.
Sounds a great tribute to an amazing lady and a wonderful relationship. I am very envious of what you obviously had together,
Wonderful stuff TJ, thanks for the updates. Loads of love xxx
Biscuit tin would be ac, I'd delight in the disappointment of people when they find nothing but my dusty remains.
Looks like quite a special day there TJ I hope that you enjoyed it I'd whole heartedly approve if that was my goodbye.
Looks like a beautiful day, a beautiful location and a beautiful send off. I am sure you did her proud.
Ps can’t beat a bit of the Silencers.
Sounds like a wonderful way to commemorate her life, TJ.
Beautiful.
That's properly made me blub, virtual hugs to TJ.
What a lovely way to celebrate Julie’s life.
I hope you will be able to eventually look back fondly on the day, despite the terribly sad reasons for it.
I hope you will be able to eventually look back fondly on the day,
I am quite conflicted
i also had a really good dinner the night before with old friends I had not seen for years who came up for the picnic. The day its self was beautiful and just as she wanted and created a lot of good memories for the group of friends and I got to see how much she meant to others as well and we had some good laughs - I managed not to make too many sick jokes - i was thinking about playing "long shot kick de bucket" which is an old reggae song 🙂
it just feels odd to have had so many good moments during the weekend where I said my last goodbyes.
So a sad day but a good day
Thanks for this TJ
Thank you for sharing TJ - what a great way to remember someone.
One day someone's going to tuck me in a biscuit tin, choose some beautiful place full of trees and a stream and leave me there. 👌
That sounds like a fantastic day and lovely way of remembering someone. I’m glad you wrote it and shared with us.
That’s beautiful TJ. Good man.
That's one of my favourite places as well, absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this, it really looks like you did her proud.
Thank you for indulging me with this.
No, thank you for sharing it. It reminds us all of what is important. Look after yourself and keep updating us.
Wonderful to read TJ. What a fantastic person she sounded. All the best.
How lovely, a beautiful way to celebrate a life - thanks for sharing. 🙂
One thing she didn't tell me was what to do with the rest of the ashes! I am only allowed to put token amounts into these wild places and have since been to a couple more. A wee sprinkle went in the river at the Falls of Tarf when I camped there with my nephew who was unable to attend the picnic because of covid and a bit went into a couple of places on the island of Iona - including into a bog Julie fell in! I am also going to take some to Culra bothy and to a friends house in ireland to put it in their veggie patch - carbon cycle and all that. Also on Iona when I threw some ashes into the sea my pals dog thought I was playing fetch and dived in after the ashes!
But you get kilos of the stuff! What to do with the rest of it? Bin behind sainsburys? Seafield sewage works? the beach at portobello?
Actually I did put a large amount into the sea at Portobello to get rid of the bulk of it - I went there with her colleagues who were unable to make it to the picnic. If you chuck a load into water it just sits on the bottom! had to swish it around with my feet to disperse it!
I still have the biscuit tin with some ashes in it sitting in my sitting room
Lovely.
Thankyou for writing that, it’s just taken me back to carrying a little box with my mum to a wild spot.
I’m smiling as I think of her and that last trip, I hope that you will feel the same in time for these last adventures.
I didn't comment the first time I saw this thread. Didn't know what to say or how to say it. But I am determined to now! Just to say, your farewell ceremony sounds like a fitting tribute to what sounds like a special relationship and special person. These events throw up so many different emotions. It must be a tough time so make sure you look after yourself.
You were amazingly lucky with the weather - and the midge. It's a day I'll also remember for a long time and will have Julie in mind, so she will live on in me for a few years.
Is Gorgie City Farm still operating? I was thinking that they, or an allotment, might have use of some organic fertilizer?
Thats a great idea - on leith links there are some "community allotments"
Take her with you on the forthcoming tour of STW (UK Leg) and leave a little everywhere that you go. One last hurrah for a fine partner.
/\ is a great idea.
Sounds like a fitting send off, well done.
Sounds like a fantastic occasion on a beautiful day. I particularly like the dispersal of the ashes, also like sandwich's idea too. Try and find comfort in the grief, it's a reminder of how much you both loved each other.
Lovely, just absolutely lovely TJ. Thanks for the follow up.
what a fantastic way to send off someone you loved so much. doing something they loved. just perfect Jeremy.
keep well mate, and get this bike tour going so we can join you for a ride.
wow, beautiful in every way. but why am i not surprised 🙂
got me thinking of how id want to be sent off myself now, very thought provoking and a beautiful testament to your relationship and life.
I want to be put into fireworks and blasted into the atmosphere so the ashes rain down over a crowd. I'm a sick puppy me 🙂
I am struggling to get a round tuit to get started on the ride and its getting late in the year but I will do at some point. I look forward to a cycletour / arguathon hybrid
I am quite conflicted
I have similar feelings for my dad's funeral. It was great to see so many old friends and family and was quite jovial in a cathartic way. The only thing is, there was one person missing who would have also loved it.
"All the flowers of the mountain
Will you go oh lassie go"
If my memory serves me correctly...
😂
( a beautiful old tin that she had kept her sewing kit in and that she got from her mother)
This is bloody brilliant. Thanks for sharing.
That was very sweet, thank you for the update, and having organised a more conventional funeral myself and seeing what a horrid industry it is (I literally had to peruse a catalogue of coffins) a much better way of doing things.
Every body should fall in a bog at least once. I myself have done it a few times and still have the stains on my thermals (it never washes out).
Everybody should keep their sewing kit in an old biscuit tin (I have some of mine in a cake tin), but more importantly everybody should be given the kind of send off that you gave Julie, you gave her exactly what she wanted.
Feel sad that we couldn't make it.
You TJ are a top chap. Chapeau.
bunnyhop x
Given Julies love of the cricket I reckon you should leave some of her ashes on the boundary somewhere or the beach at Elie. You've done her proud TJ, I hope somebody goes to that effort for me.
Sounds like you’ve carried out her wishes exactly as Julie wanted, well done TJ
remember – no weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth
I failed at the first hurdle, just seeing those pictures had me welling up. It meant a lot that you invited us and i was so sad we couldn't make it, and that's just brought it back. Looks like a wonderful day
100% you need to take Julie on tour around the UK. I know we've left some of mum's ashes in various locations that she visited and loved over the years while caravanning. We need to scatter some ashes on Winter Hill near Rivington when you come down here for a visit/ride. When you do, we'll sort out a canoe trip to with @ihn and @greybeard
When you do, we’ll sort out a canoe trip to with ihn and greybeard
Yes, good idea, I'll look forward to that.
