Julie Stuart aka Mrs TJ my partner of 42 years died peacefully on Monday. She had been diagnosed with an incurable cancer just a few weeks ago. She decided she wanted no treatment - she wanted to go "home" to spend quality time with friends and to hear birdsong and see trees. With the help of our wonderful friend Iona who gave us use of her ground floor house and garden and a huge supporting cast of friends and family we were able to make her wishes come true.
I nursed her to the end and she died peacefully in my company. We were able to ensure she had a good death and that her final weeks were filled with laughter and love.
At the end she died much as she lived - very much on her own terms
Really sorry to hear that TJ.
Panda
I can never find the right words for times like this. I'm so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself and I'll be thinking of you.
I am so sorry to read this TJ, sending you my condolences.
Oh I'm so sorry TJ. My thoughts are with you, you must have been a real comfort these last few weeks.
That's absolutely tragic TJ. Sounds like you did the best thing you could for her towards the end. Much love to you all.
I'm so sorry for your loss TJ, there's nothing any of us can really say at this point that would make it seem less shit I'd imagine.
Very, very sorry to hear that, but pleased, at least, that it was with dignity.
My condolences.
That's horrendous TJ. So sorry for your loss.
Oh, how my heart goes out to you Jeremy. The photos you showed us and your posts about your life showed that you weren't individuals as much as two halves of a couple. She looked a lovely (and patient) lady and I do hope you can find happiness again soon.
My thoughts are with you, a death is rarely good but it sounds like you managed the final weeks in the best way you could for the pair of you.
pm me if you want a random stranger to talk / rant to
So sorry for your loss TJ.
So incredibly sad to read that TJ.
My thoughts are with you.
Sounds like she had everything around her that she wanted.
So sorry to hear your news. So tragic.
So sorry TJ. As I said on FB, I loved seeing your adventures and you really set the bar for relationship goals.
We're all here when you need us.
her final weeks were filled with laughter and love.
I hope when it’s a bit less raw you can take great comfort in this. Very sad news and my thoughts are with you.
Incredibly sad news, it sounds like you helped enormously to make an dreadful situation slightly more bearable for your wife. Best wishes.
Oh shit, life just isn't bloody fair. I wanted to say more sweary things really.
I know you have had a good life together but as a medical person please don't try to be brave and professional about it. Cry your bloody eyes out shout at the sky whatever works for you.
There are a few of us on here that have gone through the same thing in the last few years and if there is any small thing we can help with please ask.
Gutted for you TJ, so sorry to hear this.
Condolences to you and your family.
Sorry to hear of your loss TJ.
So sorry for your loss but that you were able to fulfil her final wishes which I’m sure you’ll take huge comfort from.
Hugs, Tim.
I'm utterly crap with words but condolences and deepest sympathies.
TJ - we've never met but over the years it feels almost like we get to know you, and even Mrs TJ by proxy. So I have a genuine sadness for your loss. I hope that when my time comes the end might be as you've described it above. Remember to look out for yourself and reach out to those close to you if you need support.
I'm so sorry TJ.
Very sorry to hear that TJ. I'm sure the love and care over these weeks helped make things easier for her. Hopefully the knowledge you all did everything you could will help you cope as well.
Condolences
Gutted to hear this TJ. Literally dumbstruck.
Truly sorry for your loss...I don't know what else to say.
As above, we're all here if & when you need it....
Blimey, 42 years. Well done, that's an incredible achievement in itself. But I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose someone you've known for that length of time. My condolences.
Oh wow - I'm so sorry to hear this TJ. That sounds very sudden, I'm really glad you guys were able to spend all that time together and her last days were how she wanted them. There'll be plenty of people around you who want to keep supporting you, I hope you get chance to receive the help you need.
So sorry to hear this TJ, especially with all the plans you two had for the future.
At the end she died much as she lived – very much on her own terms
So glad you were able to make this possible, so often it isn't. RIP
Aw shit, TJ. So sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself and pop on here if you need to vent.
Very sad news, sorry to hear this.
Hope you are holding up TJ, please remember there are many people here that are more than happy to have a chat and listen.
Very sorry to hear about your loss, best wishes in what must be a difficult time.
So sorry to hear this TJ.Condolences to you & your family.
Sorry for your loss TJ. Take care.
I'm so very sorry to hear that Jeremy, I know you guys had all sorts of adventures planned post retirement. It's just as well we don't know what's ahead of us at times, easy for me to say but think of the awesome time you had with her.
Bless you mate.
Really sorry fr your loss TJ. Words may not be able to help much, but my deepest condolences.
horrible news. all the best TJ.
So sorry to hear this. I've no words in times like this but my thoughts are with you.
Really sorry to hear that TJ
Mark
So sorry TJ. Thoughts are with you and yours and as above, if you need anything, shout up.
Very saddened to hear this. Thoughts are with you TJ
Really sorry to hear that TJ, deepest sympathies, wish I was better with words
Sorry for your loss.
Really sad to hear this, glad you managed to make the most of your time together. Such a shame for her life to be cut short just as you had so many plans for your retirement together
So sorry to read this TJ. My condolences to you
So sorry man.
It was obvious from the way you've always spoken about her that you had a remarkable relationship.
Please look after yourself.
Love,
Pete.
So sorry TJ.
So sorry & saddened to hear this. My condolences TJ. Take care of yourself.
Sorry for your loss TJ.
I met you both once a long long time ago on a Sharki's tour of the Quantocks. You guys were on the tandem and i remember thinking she was nuts to be a stoker on that, but it was obvious that you were the same type of nuts so it all worked perfectly.
Really sorry to hear this; and well done for all the support and love you’ve given her over the last few weeks so she could live her last days on her terms. Look after yourself now.
Ah so sorry to read this TJ.
I've seen loads of your posts about the adventures you've done together and thought that you must've had a fantastic lifestyle and relationship. Not sure what else to say really....if you ever end up in Cheshire there's an open door for you.
Sat here blinking stunned at the screen.
So sorry to hear of your loss.
Take care Fella.
So sorry to hear this TJ. Every time I move our tandem out the way (again), I remember a great weekend spent with the pair of you in the Dales. All the best from me and B.
Much love TJ, sorry to hear that and so sorry for your loss.
As horrible and painful as it must seem at the moment, at least you know those last weeks were spent on Mrs TJs terms, with the important people around to help. My condolences.
Oh buddy, I'm so sorry to hear this. Big hugs. I'm so glad you got to spend that time together
Just shit.
I met yourself and Julie just once: in the middle of Fisherfield when you were handing out sweets to those smelly individuals partaking in the HT550. Thankyou.
Take care and try and remember the good times of which I'm sure there were many over that 42 years.
So sorry this has happened.
Neil
I'm so very sorry to hear this TJ - thoughts are with you.
Marcus
So very sorry to hear of this news TJ.
Hope you can take some comfort that you where able to take care of Julie in the manner she asked for.
As others have mentioned I have never met you, but I always enjoy reading your posts and your opinions.
Deepest Condolences
Andrew
Oh man - so so sorry to read that.
Well done to you, family and friends for making her last days go as she wished.
Look after yourself.
I'm so sorry to hear this TJ, my thoughts are with you and your family.
Sorry to hear this TJ, cancer is indeed a bitch. Take care of yourself.
Condolences to you TJ. Sounds like you did you best to make her final days as she'd want them to be.
Everything I try to write sounds lame, but all the best from me to you and yours TJ, I can't imagine how hard this must be. x
So very sorry to read this, sweetly-written as it is.
Not sure what else to say. All the best to you.
Richard
I'm very sad to hear that, TJ. It would be a terrible loss at any time, but I know how you were both looking forward to enjoying your retirement together. I'm glad you were able to help her go peacefully.
Really sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself.
Really sorry to hear that TJ, my thoughts are with you.
Sorry to hear that, condolences.
I’m so so sad to hear this. It was great meeting you both at the tandem weekend in the Dales a few years ago and I can hardly process this news. I was sure we’d have another fun weekend together with the crazy bikes in all our futures. My heart goes out to you.
Beate
Aw that's just shite TJ. I know they're just platitudes, but all the best to you and yours. Tough times I'm sure.
Sorry for your loss TJ.
Thoughts are with you TJ
So sorry to hear that. I was so inspired by your plans and thoughts for the future. Gutted that you are now having to do the next bit alone.
Hope those 42 were as good as they looked from here.
Xxx
Been following things on Facebook, TJ. Tis rubbish news and you have my deepest condolences.
You have, however, handled it amazingly well from what I've seen and she had the best few weeks that could be hoped for in the circumstances.
Take care of yourself.
Sorry for your loss buddy.
I'm so terribly sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking about you and wishing you strength.
Condolences TJ, hate reading threads like this. But seeing that you both had 42 years together and that you both and your friends strived to make the ending as good as you all could are things you should be rightly proud of.
Very sorry to hear this, wish I could say something more meaningful.
