You don't need to be an 'investor' to invest in Singletrack: 6 days left: 95% of target - Find out more
So my morning drive to work, continually and unwelcomely peppered by stoppages due to ****less pedestrians, typically walking alone, pressing the pedestrian crossing button then blindly sauntering across the road of once slow moving traffic. Now why the hell can't they disengage their iPods, raise their shoe bound eyes from their flaccid earth facing gloom and look left, look right, then cross when there is a gap in the (easy to cross) traffic?!?
Its indicative of this BLOODY sedentary society, lummoxing idly forwards to their emotionally dead employment, motivated by the limp pre packed sandwich lunch made only slightly more bearable by the chance to natter with their co-workers about some bloody pointless manufactured pop auction on TV that they are too stupid to see is yet another tasteless vehicle designed to extract their thoughtlessly spent cash from them.
Look both ways before crossing the road numskulls, one of these days I may ceace to obey the red lantern and allow the verdant mist to descent! Just cross the ****ing road! you don't need to bring the already crawling traffic to a halt, just use your GODDAMN EYES!!!
and I'm not even going to mention the mountain bike rider that I watched hammer up the inside only to collide with the side of a stationary new mini when they ignored the fact that the mini was waiting to turn left at a mini roundabout and was about 4 inches from the kerb!
MrNutt is now going to have a cigarette, a coffee and then a shite.
Got bored halfway through sorry.
Rants need to be more punchy IMHO.
Photo's of the shite to my inbox please.
erm, does anyone know a good plumber or the direct line for Thames water waste?
Good rant, I like it.
You need a more conspicuous car. Be safe be seen init.
You need a more conspicuous car. Be safe be seen init.
Have you seen Mr Nutt's car? Quite distinguished.
Crap rant. Negative marks.
SHould really be riding to work.
If there's nobody on the crossing, just don't bother stopping. Nobody's gonna catch you.
I wonder if there's a post just like this on a Ramblers forum...bloody cyclists!
I think it's safe to assume that everyone who is not doing what ever activity you're currently doing are idiots. And those other people who are doing what you're doing are also idiots.
There's a common theme...if someone isn't you there's a good chance they're an idiot.
You said "co-worker". I couldn't get past that bit in case you said something else equally as bad such as "trail head".
Car driver rant.
Roads are so busy these days that as I walk to work its impossible to get across thd road so i used the crossing. As soon as I pressed trhe button to stop the cars mr angry in his repmobile went totally radio rental! He will be in the same place in the nexzt queue anyway
Car drivers - brain dead moran smost of them!!!
I'll give you 2/10 for a thinly veiled swipe at the X-factor.
As for pedestrians actually using a designated crossing in the correct manner - well I never wot a fackin liberty!
So my morning drive to work,
... and ...
this BLOODY sedentary society
erm
I take great delight in using pedestrian crossings in order to bring a slow moving line of traffic to a halt, the problems this causes some drivers who would have been another 30metres down the road if they hadn't stopped is hilarious to me as I listen to my ipod and stare at my feet 😆
I liked the rant. Not reeeally just pedestrians that are the problem though is it?
Pedestrians, cyclists, motorbikers, car drivers, lorry drivers, van drivers, bus drivers, mobility users, skateboarders, scooter riders, inliners, taxis.
They're all bastards. If I've missed anyone they're even worse.
And anything you post on here, you should know, it will be your fault.
starting a rant points 5
your use of adjectives +1
lack of full stops -2
spelling mistakes -1 its cease not 'ceace'. there is probably a couple others but this one stood out so i'm being generous with the -1
the surreptitious inclusion of a rant about a fellow rider -3
the mental image of you, sat on the throne smoking a fag: -10
ewwww
total = -10
try harder next time.
So my morning drive to work, continually and unwelcomely peppered by stoppages due to ****less pedestrians, typically walking alone
to gain any high ground i presume you were driving a well laden bus i or were you [i]typically driving alone[/i]?
0/10
So my morning [b]drive[/b] to work
Its indicative of this BLOODY [b]sedentary[/b] society
Rant fail.
(As pointed out by Woppit too; great minds, eh Woppit? 😉 )
I will routinely press the button for every traffic light I walk past, regardless of whether or not I actually want to cross. Because I know it will piss off people like Nutt.
I spose it's some sort of deep down insecurity or feeling of inadequacy or something that makes me want to make others suffer, but it makes me happy so that's the main thing really.
Boring 'rant', Nutt. Full of your usual prejudices towards others, too. And a vain attempt using flowery prose to make yourself, and perhaps others, believe you to be above the common herd.
Bloody 'stick and a bit of Araldite' indeed. 'Ave a word with yerself, will yer? 🙄
I rather like stopping at an empty pelican crossing for a few seconds. It's a kind of punctuation mark in amongst the droning sentences of the daily commute, an enforced pause in the stream of unconsciousness that is modern motoring. A differently futile counterpoint to the general futility of the rat race, if you will. Sometimes I'll press a crossing button even if I'm not crossing the road, just to allow other drivers to share in a similar moment of calm and peace...
I'm sorry I don't know what came over me there. Damn those bovine pedestrians!
I wasn't joking about the scat pic. I'm waiting. Your procrastination irritates me
Wrong forum, this is a mountain biking forum not Pistonheads.
I much prefer peds to cross at ped crossings, where I am expecting them to, and expect them to cross when they shouldn't in an unsafe manner. In fact as someone who has not driven a car since June 2009 then I'm very much in favour of pedestrian crossings and much less in favour of those cars who feel that the red lantern doesn't apply to them.
As for the mountain biker vs mini, the biker sounds like a bit of a knob.
Your procrastination irritates me
U31; Nutt is a bit 'egg bound' at the moment (probbly the root cause of his irritation really), so you may be waiting a while...
More fruit and fibre, Nutt.
I think we should change this thread into 'Who's a bastard and why?' I vote for a new thread.
Much more interesting...
This morning on the train I had a guy stand right behind me and read his paper...because he wasn't holding on he proceeded to lean on me everytime the train moved. Pissed me off no end.
What about people who stand in a crowd at zebra crossings without any intention of crossing...are they going to cross or not? Then every now and then one of these groups will suddenly decide to cross after you've decided they aren't going to!
Or mothers who test out the safety of traffic using their pram! Presumably if the baby doesn't die it's safe to cross.
I still vote for a new thread...I've got a long list of bastards and this could keep me busy all day.
I think I might be a miserble bastard myself.
This morning on the train I had a guy stand right behind me and read his paper...because he wasn't holding on he proceeded to lean on me everytime the train moved. Pissed me off no end.
Yeah, but what did you do about it? Did you politely ask him not to? Impolitely ask him not to? Lean back into him? Prod him with something pointy every time he did it? Stabbed him repeatedly in the face and neck with a Biro?
Or were you 'British' about it?
Maybe you and Nutt should write to the Daily Mail, to express your outrage... 😉
'Who's a bastard and why?'
Quite liking that though. That does appeal to me actually.
My dad would simply say 'All are bastards', and that would be that.
Hi,
I quite like your rant, but I feel it shows too much composure. It's no indicative of a man about to lose it with the world. It's just far too controlled, If I's gonna rant i;D START losing it abit more!! MORE CApitals, get angry with the keyboard etc etc...
Where do you live btw?
He lives in Swindon.
I think this explains quite a lot really. 🙁
I was completely British about it...I turned round every now and then and frowned at the back of his head, and then grumbled about it under my breath. In the end I moved over a little bit...then he took advantage of the extra space and moved over too!!!
That really annoyed me...fortunately we arrived at Waterloo so I wasn't forced to frown at the back of his head again.
Don't get me started on the guy on the tube who couldn't shut his legs...either he had testicles the size of grapefruits or he's recently had an operation. I don't even think I can open my legs that wide!
I really think I'm a miserable bastard, everyone pisses me off on the commute in...help me.
I'll actually +1 the 'sedentary society' comment. So many people just dribble around aimlessly with their head in the clouds (or in their phones). It's the same on the roads as it is in town centres, supermarkets, anywhere were you get a group of people together it's like the collective IQ drops to the lowest common denominator.
I'm really starting to think that it's just me that walks / rides / drives purposefully, like I've actually got a destination to get to. Walking through supermarkets, it feels like I'm in one of those sci-fi films where someone's triggered a time-manipulation device, and I'm running at normal speed but everyone else around me has slowed to a crawl.
Swindon! I remember trying to traverse the magic roundabout a few weeks after I had passed my test. It had just been built and didn't have any raised up bits...I just drove straight across.
The people who designed that thing are bastards too.
Go Cougar! My hero!
I'm really starting to think that it's just me
No, other people exist too...
Surely if you are walking purposefully you automatically get upgraded to strides?
I'm NOT your father.
I liked it good stuff! 😈
That red car at 10 seconds pulled a pretty interesting manoeuvre...not quite sure my car can do that!
one of these days I may ceace to obey the red lantern and allow the verdant mist to descent!
You see a green mist when you get angry? How odd.
Green mist when angry does seem a little strange, are you sure you're doing it right?
He's Dr David Banner and you won't like him when hes angry.
So stop it.
Crap rant. You want to get out of your tin box and experience life as a pedestrian!
One of my local roads this morning, supposed to be a 30 and 'safe route to school' but a$$hole drivers rushing to get to the back of the next queue seem to think it's ok to bowl along at 40 on it.
Before they put the crossing in you could stand there for 10 minutes waiting for a safe gap. And by safe I mean one I can walk across with my kids, not be forced to make a mad dash for it.
After years of asking they put a crossing in. But its set up so as to 'keep the traffic flowing' and takes several minutes to activate at peak times.
So there I am, steady stream of traffic no sign of any gap. I push the button and stand and wait.. wait a bit more.. and more.. There's a gap. I start to cross. Just about to reach the kerb the otherside and the lights change.
Bloke coming down the hill is forced to stop for the red and blows her horn at me whilst shaking his fist! ****ing car drivers 🙂
Crap rant. You want to get out of your tin box and experience life as a pedestrian!
What makes you think he hasn't?
AnalogueAndy does have a valid point, I was actually born in and have never since left the inside of a motor vehicle.
That said I'd do away with all pedestrian crossings, this world needs a little more chlorine in the gene pool and if you're too stupid to cross a road without getting killed then you're not exactly going to be helping with evolution now are you!
molgrips - MemberCrap rant. You want to get out of your tin box and experience life as a pedestrian!
What makes you think he hasn't?
Clue: So my morning [u]drive[/u] to work,
And no, Mr Nutt, walking from the house to the car, from the car to the office doesn't make you a pedestrian 🙂
I once chased the young turkish kid that repeatedly shoves the pizza/kebab/chicken/curry leaflets down the street, through a churchyard and into a frozen canal, I should also point out also that during the entire inconvenience I had no need to activate those idiotic traffic flow interrupters during ether the pursuit or the triumphant waltz home. does that count?
Bloke coming down the hill is forced to stop for the red and blows her horn at me
Damned transvestite car drivers.
Cougar - MemberDamned transvestite car drivers.
I missed that. MrNutt a tranvestite you say..
I once chased the young[b] turkish[/b] kid that repeatedly shoves the pizza/kebab/chicken/curry leaflets down the street, through a churchyard and into a frozen canal
Right that's it I'm issuing a [i][b]Fatwah[/b][/i].
does that count?
No, 'fraid not. You clearly have never been a pedestrian. Pedestrians walk to and from places (other than cars).
Chasing, pursuing and waltzing don't count :-0
so what does his nationality have to do with him being trapped under the ice? nothing! and no it was a kaftan I was sporting not a bloody sari!
Pedestrians walk to and from places
bloody lazy good for nothing calories into fat pavement clutterers!
It doesn't matter if you're walking, driving, cycling, travelling by train/bus/tube, flying, swimming or parachuting to work...essentially everyone's a bastard, including me.
I thought we'd already established this, now we're just covering old ground.
Clue: So my morning drive to work,
You are familiar with the concept of past and present, aren't you?
As in, just because he drove today doesn't mean he's never walked anywhere in an urban environment.
It is my hypothesis that MrNutt is on a wind-up and, if he isn't, well done on the "Turkish kid" thing, old boy.