Getting grief for not having the hearing of a 16 year old. Just me? I'm not deaf as such, it's just that if there's any background noise like a kitchen tap running or an extractor fan, or if someone is shouting from another room I struggle to hear what they are saying. If someone is in the same room with me and not talking over a food processor or whatever, I can hear perfectly.
My wife knows this, but still insists on communicating by shouting from upstairs when I'm down or vice versa. Or, nearly every morning when I have the leccy toothbrush rattling around my gob and the bathroom extractor fan going full tilt above my head, she will try to have a conversation with me from the bedroom across the hall. I swear she thinks I only claim not to hear to annoy her, and is constantly tutting at me for asking her to repeat what she's said or giving me grief for "not listening"!
It's a bit frustrating to say the least. I definitely do have annoying habits which probably deserve her ire, but surely not for a "disability" that's not my fault? Yes we are a sad old couple, but despite my rant I do love her to bits!
I know about this, my partner does similar.
Please accept my commiserations.
My wife knows this, but still insists on communicating by shouting from upstairs when I'm down or vice versa.
I am deaf in one ear and my wife still does this!! 🤣🤣
Pardon!
My usual reply when there is general unintelligible noise coming my way is " Yes please, a big chocolate one would be lovely. Great, thank-you!"
WHAT?
Tinnitus, really loud, 24/7. I can hear okay, but everything is masked by this never ending high pitched whine. My wife's very aware of it, but still gets annoyed with me when I have to ask her to repeat herself.
I just ignore mine when she does this. When she walks into the room and asks "did you hear me?" I say "no, where were you at the time?"
This is why i have to have the TV remote.
Mrs BF will start taking in the middle of some extra loud adverts and then look all exasperated when i ask her to turn down the sound and say it again. Sometimes I then get "your hearing is terrible" as if i wasn't already aware of the situation.
Its bullying i tell you.
Seems I'm not alone. This thread is therapy, thank you!
Another thread that makes me appreciate that the crippling loneliness is better than being married.
Same situation. Can’t hear voices above background noise. Wife has finally accepted that I can’t hear her and waits until it’s quiet, or speaks louder.
it’s odd that your wife is prepared to raise her volume when communicating from another room, but not when in the same room.
I struggle in crowds, the cacophony of multiple voices. Also when my wife indulges in speaking in the opposite direction, in another room, or from the back seat of the tandem. Drives her mad.
Mrs f does it occasionally from 2-3 rooms away, I can hear something's been said but no idea what, I just ignore it and carry on what I'm doing. If it's important she'll come and find me.
She used to make the going deaf comment (which I am, but she already knows this) so I'd tell her she was losing her marbles as we'd had this conversation many times. She didn't like that so stopped making the deaf comment.
The current hot topic is the TV volume, I have it too loud apparently, although it's on the same setting she has when watching her programmes 🤔
My putting music on in the living room is my wife's bat-signal to start a shouted conversation with me from the opposite corner of the house.
I fhot wee all new..
Shouting at each other from different rooms is the secret to long relationships.
Those couples that shout at each other in the same room never last. 😉 🤣
And me.
I struggle in crowds, the cacophony of multiple voices.
I'm the same. I've noticed nowadays in restaurants especially there seems to be at least one alpha female (occasionally male) at each table whose appointed role IS TO TALK EXTREMELY LOUDLY and assume that they are entitled to do so because they are just so crushingly INTERESTING.
The sad thing is, almost invariably, said Foghorn Leghorn is extremely boring, as well as utterly graceless.
🤔
Also when my wife indulges in speaking in the opposite direction,
My kids do this while walking into a different room, bury they're still learning 🤣
I got hearing aids last year, but they don't help me hear my wife when she's two rooms away and I'm next to the coffee grinder. Apparently that's my fault.
Foghorn Leghorn
Excellent memory there, thank you
And, yes, the whole shenanigans with trying to communicate from another room altogether is very familiar. Then I get accused of shouting when I make a point of being in the same room when I need to start a convo. Hmmm.
We have this too.
I got harangued by Mrs HTO and eldest daughter HTO to go and have my hearing tested. Eventually, I did. My hearing is 'within normal range', which surprised everyone, including myself, as I had started to wonder.
I no longer get the nags to go and have my ears checked. But we continue to engage in this dance of her, talking at a normal level to me whilst I'm in the utility room with the washing machine spinning, the taps running, the toilet flushing and cats meowing to be fed, and wondering why I can't hear!
Mrs Pondo will shout distant instructions then not reply when I ask her to repeat the question/order/accusation, so I then have to go to her.
I just realised how sad that makes me sound. 🙁
My other half does this and it's frustrating as all hell. She's just loud enough that I can tell that she's trying to talk to me from the other end of a 5-bedroom house, but not quite loud enough that I can make out actual words. Doubly so if, as above, I'm at the cooker with the extractor fan going. After me going "WHAT?!" about seven times she then starts getting frustrated like it's my fault. I don't think there's anything wrong with my hearing beyond the typical reduced frequency response.
The real embuggerance though is that she's a WFH childminder, when she's talking to kids a metre away she's loud enough to wake me up through earplugs.
Have you had your hearing checked? I suffer from with earwax build up, and when I had them cleaned (new vacuum technic, not syringing), it was a revelation as how bad it had affected my hearing.. it hasn't totally fixed my partners ability to talk to me two rooms away & expect me to understand, but it is much better.
Yes, it is chilly. I said it's CHILLY, yes.
Genuinely, all this could be me and MrsMC. If I want to speak to her, I go to her. I don't try and shout over whatever noise is around her, nor do I shriek like a fish wife to let her know when tea is ready. The whole ****ing street know when she's cooked tea.
I'm guessing there's a parallel thread over on the women's forum....
Have you had your hearing checked? I suffer from with earwax build up, and when I had them cleaned (new vacuum technic, not syringing), it was a revelation as how bad it had affected my hearing.. it hasn't totally fixed my partners ability to talk to me two rooms away & expect me to understand, but it is much better.
My wife does the whole talking from another room thing, and is an audiologist. She once tested my hearing. Even packed with wax I have super-sense hearing - no joke - so can't use that as an excuse for ignoring when I can't quite hear what she's saying to me when I'm inside the house and she's in the garden.
Not just me then?
I’ve never been able to distinguish speech from a background noise, the kicker is my hearing in a quiet environment is really quite good, and the chronic fatigue has had the side effect of making me over sensitive to harsh noise, such as shouty buggers.
She seems to enjoys programmes with people arguing…
Me too to all of the above, with the addition that I can't really tell what direction noise is coming from (my left ear is particularly duff),which adds confusion, hilarity and danger at times.
I'm also often asking what that noise is I can hear; sometimes it is a noise, sometimes it's apparently just me, invariably it's not where I think it is.
Was eventually referred to ENT for conductive loss in my left ear last October, still waiting....
My right ear is down a bit, but mainly missing top end sounds (can't hear a digital watch alarm).
Tinnitus is raging 24/7 with a wide array of high static, high beeeeeeeeeps, and pulsatile just in my left.
How does the joke go?
Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to "merm frner mernferr brnerfer!"?
I do this to my wife all the time. She hates me for it - I forget everytime.
I have a hearing loss in my right ear for high pitched sounds. Nearly stopped me going off shore (that was the medical that flagged it up) but ok for the railway . Anyway. I sleep on my front with my left ear down. .. this has the added benefits of when the kids wail out (bad dream or the like) I'm oblivious.
Maybe time tto pay a visit to the Dr and get the hearing checked out, just so you know where you are with it age related wise.
My hearing is pretty sensitive. I can hear that 'mosquito' anti-loitering yoof thing, and im in my 50's
Needless to say I can't stand people shouting.
Seems I'm not alone. This thread is therapy, thank you!
I am alone - I can have things on at whatever volume suits me. If I’m out anywhere, however, background noise can be an issue, but it’s something that affects a large portion of the population, and it’s affecting ever younger people, because of the increasing noise levels of personal entertainment systems.
Three men on a train…
“Is this Wembley?”
“No, it’s Thursday “
”So am I. Let’s go and have a drink. “
Nearly stopped me going off shore (that was the medical that flagged it up) but ok for the railway
I were working the streets of Liverpool but, arrh, me gummy hearing kept the pressman away, and I spent e'en a dozen year on the iron horse from Settle to Carlisle. Now my eyes are clouding and the physic says the consumption will have me by year's end.
If a tree fell in an empty forest and my wife wasn't there to hear it, would I still be wrong?
I’ve had a full blown conversation from the back of our tandem and nbt didn’t hear a word.
Admittedly for a Northern lass I’m quietly spoken. We’re now at the stage of life when we have subtitles on (especially for those ‘whispering type’ films).
my hearing isn’t the worst but I do struggle with sudden loud noises.
When we watch something on the laptop I insist we place it on the tea tray to amplify the sound a little bit . It makes a massive difference!
My Mrs will watch telly, then wander off to bed leaving it on, I wont really register its there so make no adjustments but that doesn't stop her from moaning later that its too loud.
She also does the speaking to me from another room while the extractor fan is on, made worse by the fact that at least 70% of the time she is talking to either herself, or the cat, but I don't know that till i've walked through.
So now I don't, I just ignore anything I can't hear, If she is trying to communicate I feel its incumbent on her to make sure I am aware of it and able to hear.
I've achieved a partial cure by getting up from whatever I'm doing, walking to wherever she is and asking her to repeat. This seems to have raised awareness. To be honest I'm equally guilty.
I know it's a light hearted thread but as a family member is nearly deaf I know how handicapping and isolating it can be. Look after your ears, people.
I’ve had a full blown conversation from the back of our tandem and nbt didn’t hear a word.
So not really a conversation then! A monologue maybe? 😂
Conversation is interactive communication between two or more people.
But even bike rides with non-tandem bikes always present a special problem for the hard of hearing, and an even bigger problem for those trying to communicate with them.
I agree to an extent about conversations in noise, extractor fans etc, but struggling to hear in less than perfect conditions is a symptom of hearing loss. Not getting hearing aids is a bit like being short-sighted but, instead of wearing glasses, demanding everyone else holds things closer or uses bigger fonts 😉
I hate having hearing loss, but I love my hearing aids because they let me participate in the world in the same way as everyone else. It was also pretty astonishing how much less tired I was after getting hearing aids - you don’t notice the cognitive strain until it’s gone!
Yep to all of the above. Can hear perfectly well in a quiet environment but any background noise and I'm stuffed. If I ask OH to repeat something she has the annoying habit of yelling at me at the top of her voice instead of just speaking up a bit. Thing is her hearing is as bad as mine and I'm always having to repeat myself. Just cba to do the same to her but maybe I should start.
