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....it won't be long before the NHS offers you a free colonoscopy. It's a better way of spotting polyps and thus heading off colon cancer than the faecal occult blood test you may already have done if you're over 60, which picks them up later in their development.
Just so you can get yourself prepared mentally, so to speak.
Can't wait to get the next 16 years over with now. What a treat!
Will this mean an end to scooping poo with a lolly stick?
you dont need to wait that long for such fun, tell them yer poo has blood in it and they whack a finger straight in! in my case she was a very pretty young thing and the blood was nothing to worry about. I'm going to buy some tomato sauce and tell her it happened again just to ask her out.
Done and dusted with a lovely nurse to attend to me
Only need to be 50 in Scotland
55 now and working in the NHS and waiting with baited breath, and tightened other bits...
If this is anything like other screening schemes (and this one has been on the cards for a year or so) the roll-out will vary from area to area.
I had it done earlier this year (my kind wife volunteered me), they sent me a DIY enema kit to use an hour or so before.
When I got the the hospital I got to lie on my side while they shoved a 90cm long camera where the sun don't shine. 😳
Actually, it was all pretty painless for me (if a little embarrassing) but I've spoken to workmates who weren't so lucky.
Ooo lovely something else to look forward to, along with the regular prostate cancer biopsies! Can you picolax on draught? Another 2 years to wait, I think I might get Euro Tunnel to run the franchise as they seem to have a lot of traffic pass through dark holes.
I've had a colonoscopy and believe you me it's not something to look forward to.
I've had two, Entonox is the way forward.
I've had one before wasn't the most pleasant experience. Remember looking up at the monitor watching my arse slowly getting bigger and then we're in 😯
My cycling buddy is a gastroenterologist so he does them all day, both ends. His favourite T shirt is one he was given on a gastro conference in the USA from the band Butthole Surfers. He tells me some fascinating stuff while we are pedalling the roads of Lancashire; for example the day he was well up a woman's bowel and he came across an oil slick, which he'd never seen before. He checked her notes and found she was taking a weight loss drug that prevents your gut from absorbing fats. The best endoscopes are made by Olympus because you can drive them quite a long way through the loops and bends of the bowel but most NHS equipment is cheaper, made by Fuji and isn't as easy to drive, as he puts it.
Only need to be 50 in Scotland is an oxymoron.
Said by smug Englishman who's just seen the country's wealthiest man cark it before reaching my current age.
I'm going to buy some tomato sauce and tell her it happened again just to ask her out.
Eat beetroot like wot my old man did. Bit of a panic when he saw the pan was red. Went to the docs and was given tests, got poked and had to poo in a box.
After the ordeal mum reminded him about the beetroot salad.
And besides, how bad can it be.....
One up the bum, no harm done....
or
Touch your toes, up it goes....
I've had one, with the pilolax treatment beforehand :), nowt to worry about.
Is this instead of a pension?
Disturbing but essential life experience. Reward your courage with a new bike afterwards, I shall. Not sure about saddle fit after mind
Colonoscopy is nothing, just yo 8Ou wait for prostate screening & the inevitable needle core trephine sampling 😯
If it catches cancer and allows curative action then it's all good !
Colonoscopy is a bargain relative to the finger test as you get a general anethstetic. The Doctor was keen to show me the images to prove it was all clear, I told him his word would have been good enough 🙂
I've had a colonoscopy and believe you me it's not something to look forward to.
The camera is this big...
and you have to cope with Claire Balding, David Coleman and Tony Gubba providing the commentary.
Oh for Frank Bough and his little white bag...
Second template biopsy due in September. Camera up the bum is going to be reasonably benign after the bladder fill and camera up the urethra. 2 years and counting to go.
My younger brother wax diagnosed with colon cancer at 29, and died from secondary cancer in his liver 6 years later. (in 2013)
After his diagnosis I had a colonoscopy, just to rule out any family connection.
I can honestly say the previous day taking the picolax stuff was worse than the main event.
However I did make a point of telling the anaesthetist that I was a total wimp and to go large with the sedatives.. I don't remember much after that.
I'd gladly have a colonoscopy anytime again if it caught bowel/colon cancer in the early stages.
My 9 year old daughter also had a colonoscopy last year to investigate/rule out coeliac disease.. so if a 9 year old girl can handle it....
Look on the bright side, a Colonscopy isn't as bad a Lumbar Puncture..
freeagent, sorry to hear that, cancer is a shite 🙁
