This came up on a thing, and I think it's a good measure of a persons character.
If indeed toast is bisected at all, what is your style and reasoning?
[img] 
[/img]
I was surprised to see that overwhelmingly, people seemed to be of the opinion that method No.3 was for the unhinged.
I actually tend to favour method No.3 because it is a true mirror image split of the slice and doesn't introduce the quandary of whether to eat the top or bottom crusted half first or last.
No.2 forces the hand and you must decide aesthetically which half you prefer and hence which you will eat first.
No.1 is reserved for people who desire to better their social standing and for church fairs and WI coffee mornings.
Incidentally, none of the examples shown are actually toast imho. Far too al dente for my liking.
I don't think I've cut toast up since I was a child.
Diagonally cut sandwiches and toast taste better. That’s a science fact.
For shop bread as in the pictures, fold rather than cut. And the fold should be oriented as per #3. Artisanal sourdough should always be enjoyed whole.
Never #1 as that takes longer and blunts the knife faster.
Diagonally cut sandwiches and toast taste better. That’s a science fact.
If this is true I dread to think what a supermarket sandwich would taste like if cut per 2 or 3.
That doesn't really look like toast in the OP, it looks like bread that has previously been lightly warmed. It looks like it has probably been in our diabolically bad toaster.
Option 0 (uncut) for toast & marmalade or marmite etc. If I had to cut, I'd go 2
Option 3 for toast to eat soup with - better width for scooping
Option 1 is shit for sarnies - supermarkets know that you can underfill to the biggest extent but they still look acceptable from the "front"
(It's also shit for toasties IMO, despite being the default)
Don't cut it. Get more butter in yer tache that way!
There are certain loaves that need cutting like 3 though, for sandwiches rather than toast though. The ones that are wider than they are tall, it's good though as you get a nice but of crust on each half.
Option 3 provides the most rapid toast/face insertion rate, so it's that one for me. With the caveat that toast is torn rather than cut.
No cutting, extra butter on the corners para mi
Mostly no cutting required. Occasionally 2 if I CBA. Very occasionally, in specific circumstances there is a place for 1. Hear me out.... If eating a fried egg sunny side up and waiting to pierce then dunk the yolk, the stabby, buttery triangle of no.1 is optimal. Anyone participating in No.3 should be tarred and feathered.
I fold it more or less in half and then ram it into my face- the window of still-hot-from-toaster and melty butter but still crisp is too short for knives
fold rather than cut
That is what I do. Fold the long side.
WTF would I want half a slice of toast for? Madness I tells ye
Don’t get me started on toast racks! COLD TOAST!? COLD TOAST! Jesus, Mary and Joseph what is wrong with these people?
No.3 ordinarily but sometimes no.1 for a treat.
Some shop bought bread, and I apologise in advance for this - the 50/50 stuff - is actually quite good cold, the slice wasn't perfectly smooth so caught the spread. Or you can partiality toast it, let it get cold then toast it just to warm it up a little before application of spread.
Far too al dente for my liking.
No that is perfect. Never toast it less than this. Also as will as cold toast, burnt toast with lagoons* of Marmite. Cold burnt toast. Mmmmmmm
*meant to write lashings but lagoons works!
#3 Is the type of thing they'd likely witness in psychiatric hospitals.
#2 Is very working class
#1 Is your better class of household, often accompanied by kidneys and kedgeree.
" two and three leave you with the urge to bite in the middle and leave you with an unstable sandwich."
3 allows you to eat a slice of toast in 4 bites with some dignity. Critical for me as I'm in the canteen and still remembered for eating porridge and a sausage roll in the same bowl.
1 but folded innit. Especially if eating a toasted egg banjo.
#1 when I'm entertaining my breakfast mates. Easier to gannet with a modicum of elegance and less chance of a buttery chin.
In all my born days i've never considered cutting toast or sandwiches as per option 3.
People keep mentioning a buttery face. The obvious solution is the fold the toast. Then everything is inside; you have easy mouth insertion and maintain a dignified low bite consumption. This is also the correct way to eat a slice of NY pizza.
Option 3 provides the most rapid toast/face insertion rate, so it’s that one for me.
Option 3 for toast to eat soup with
No.3 ordinarily
3 allows you to eat a slice of toast in 4 bites with some dignity.
3 is the way forward.
Reported. Never in my wildest nightmares did I imagine the sheer number of absolute wrong uns that stalk this forum. Absolutely shocking. I think the OP has performed a valuable public service in outing these deviants so normal toast eating folk can shun them and whisper behind their backs.
Edit to retract my praise of the OP, having realised he is in fact a participant in this vile practice.
0 - no cutting is my default.
2 - there's a focus on eating toast while warm, and no one got time to faff with rotations or whatnot, so butter, marmalade and hack in half. Only ever done if you're in polite company.
And that toast in your post is borderline anaemic. All toast should tread the 10 second line between deeply coloured and crispy, and a charred abhorrence.
none of the above are solutions if a boiled egg is involved! I want soldiers!
The main thing wrong with no 3 in the picture, as far as I'm concerned, is the crust is at the bottom. Crust should always be at the top!
For the properly unhinged, 1.5 (yes, halfway between 1 & 2)
#3 - guaranteed sociopath
#1 - aesthetically pleasing
#2 - quite normal
None of the bread I toast is that shape.
OP, did you mean the toast was overcooked or undercooked?
Under! Can't abide people who simply warm their bread.
It needs to be just a couple of shades under being set on fire.
A number 1'er pictured recently...
[img] 
[/img]
Top tip - Make your packed lunch sandwiches with toast. Really gives them some weighty bite later in the day.
#00
No cutting
No butter
Marmalade
One mug of black coffee(not on the toast)
Three and then folded, agree the toast shown is undercooked.
Depends on which way the bacon fits on best.
OP, that sort of ‘toast’ has one place - the bin. And that is whether it is cut or not.
the sorry way that the ‘bread’ has collapsed under a modest spreading of butter is sad.
Toast should not need cutting unless it is for soldiers.
Don’t get me started on toast racks! COLD TOAST!? COLD TOAST! Jesus, Mary and Joseph what is wrong with these people?
agreed, cold toast is miserable. However, in the absence of a toast rack it is necessary to warm your plate. This will reduce the potential for condensation to form on the underside of your toast when it is close to the plate.
And as if most STW posters here eat bog standard square bread.
Most of you are artisan sourdough consumers and you know it.
Your average STWer earlier today
Completely coincidentally Instagram served me this method yesterday. More toast halves, magic!
Toast doesn't need cutting, just rammed into your gaping maw while your wife/partner looks on with a slightly disgusted look, as you describe the mountain biking route that you'll be taking - all the while, spraying the counter top with bits of half-chewed toast and they wonder (again) what it is they first saw in you, and is it in fact, too late to get a refund.
Just me?
You're not alone
I’m not sure you can really be on the right side of the toast class war if you describe toast as “al dente”.
Oh I don't know. The OP played a blinder in using the phrase in its English sense With a complete and flagrant discard for its epidemiology ( sic)
Then followed up with this, just to show he was just playing with us all along...
Top tip – Make your packed lunch sandwiches with toast. Really gives them some weighty bite later in the day.
If you cut diagonally, you can rearrange the pieces with cut edges outwards and corners touching to make a large square. This fits better on a plate when eating beans (etc) on toast. (Doubly so as our plates are squircle-shaped.)
the sorry way that the ‘bread’ has collapsed under a modest spreading of butter is sad.
Could just be that the butterer is pressing down too hard. (Yet another reason I'm considering a patio.)
Toast and sandwiches #1 by default for me, except for packed lunch sandwiches where I sometimes opt for #2 as that's easier to stack and wrap for transport.
#3 is a warning/cry for help should you ever witness someone doing it.
MIL is not adept with cutlery so seems prone to #1.5 a sort of diagonal, half pissed attempt at #1 from someone fighting their instinct to go for #2. It's great fun to watch.
Triangular for fried bread or sarnies.
For pate or mackerel on toast... No cutting, just whole slices.
Never no.1. That's for posh people.
Toast and sandwiches #1 by default
I'm sorry but number 1 for sandwiches?
Ridiculous.
How can you possibly hope to safely retain a good stack of filling in the rapidly narrowing sharp corners of a triangle?
There's no support.
Sadly, the shape must usually be endured for shop bought sandwiches but you'll notice that the posher and more generously filled ones tend to be cut as 2 or 3 for the customer with at least some sense of what's right and wrong.
Science innit.
Full slice(s) every time for toast or sandwiches. Not sure which method I would use for cutting if I were to do so. Definitely not diagonal though. That’s for children and buffet food served at funerals.
I agree that three is a cry for help or a warning sign to not approach the person doing it. A bit like stripes in nature.
Most of you are artisan sourdough consumers and you know it.
I've had some Waitrose Essentials baked beans on wholemeal sourdough with unsalted butter today.
Mind you, I've also had a Greggs Steak Bake.
Anyone else read this as “Opium toast?
You're one of those folders aren't you?
No butter
[url= https://i.postimg.cc/fWr7kB4k/F0-F209-A8-DCBF-49-BE-869-C-301-D6-B076-B90.jp g" target="_blank">https://i.postimg.cc/fWr7kB4k/F0-F209-A8-DCBF-49-BE-869-C-301-D6-B076-B90.jp g"/> [/img][/url]
[img] 
[/img]
😂
What do you call it?
3 has the benefit of being perfectly balanced and is therefore the choice of those who don't like to decide which type of crust to eat first. It's also, as mentioned above, for maximising the toast/face insertion rate (short of folding).
1 is the next best insertion rate, as the point allows you to chomp off a good amount without getting butter smeared over your cheeks.
@kayak23 ^^
"Wrong 'un". Message ends.
I’m sorry but number 1 for sandwiches?
Ridiculous.How can you possibly hope to safely retain a good stack of filling in the rapidly narrowing sharp corners of a triangle?
There’s no support.
Sadly, the shape must usually be endured for shop bought sandwiches but you’ll notice that the posher and more generously filled ones tend to be cut as 2 or 3 for the customer with at least some sense of what’s right and wrong.
Science innit.
#1 generally works for me and you get o start with a corner, my problem is that I will stuff things into my gob by default so a sandwich format that forces me to take more bites is beneficial for me and anyone watching.
Granted though diagonal cutting doesn't suit certain fillings like fish fingers, those do get cut rectangular.
As for artisanal tosspot shop bought sarnies, you're being tricked it's easy to add volume to a sandwich without you actually gaining much more they just double up on lettuce and pile the chicken or ham in the middle so it appears there's more in there when cut in half, but they're still going to add £1.20 to the asking price because you think your getting 'more' in your more structurally sound sandwich...
No butter
If it's with tomato soup then 3 other than that 1 is norm and don't let anyone tell you differently.
My Dad always cut my toast up #2.
#1 was seen as reserved for the fancy kids.
Now im an adult, ill cut it how i damn well please. and ill have #1 every time.
Everyone knows that the corners are dry and tasteless bites of dissapointment.
a #2 has two corners, #1 has 1 corner. its structurally more sound too.
as the old rhyme goes: "cut your toast as #3, get in the sea"
#1 hospital toast always tastes better
Rationale:
Cutting it in a triangle results in a stable shape that inherently lifts the toast off the plate however you place it on a standard sized side plate where the toasts diagonal is longer than the diameter of the crockery. The still intact long crusty edges holding the toast off the plate when rested on the rim. This allows some airflow and prevents trapped steam for turning the toast soggy.
Other options lack structural integrity or their dimensions are simply insufficient to do a decent job.
#3, because each half is the same.
On a related matter, if you slice and toast a bread bun/bap/teacake* do you prefer the top or bottom? Bottoms for me. (Ooo er matron)
*hot cross buns excluded, as it’s obvs tops.
3!
Although shown rotated 180 degrees so obviously upsetting people.
Folded, it is a quick and easy way of scoffing toast. Especially if lathered in dairylea
On a related matter, if you slice and toast a bread bun/bap/teacake* do you prefer the top or bottom? Bottoms for me. (Ooo er matron)
*hot cross buns excluded, as it’s obvs tops.
What kind of savage toasts a hot cross bun?
What kind of savage toasts a hot cross bun?
The same kind of savage who folds toast?
What kind of savage toasts a hot cross bun?
Mmm, hot, hot cross buns with melted butter on are the bestest.
