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100% to that, ask to meet the day you match, dont invest 6 hours of your time either, do something that gives the option of an out, but potential for the date to continue..
And use Hinge. Its many many more times as effective as bumble or tinder for getting a date Im finding. I can find that as soon as I unpause my profile I can find another match that can be turned into a date within a day or two.
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
You're doing it wrong. Did someone tell you that Roblox was an online dating site?
Ta for the hopeful stories folks. I'm not quite so scared now.
And use Hinge.
Hugely dependent on where you live. Round here there are about 9 people using it.
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
You’re doing it wrong. Did someone tell you that Roblox was an online dating site?
Failed to follow @Cougar's advice and forgot their wellies 🤷🏼♂️
I have just been to lunch with an online date.
Hold on, OP, you started this with Friends #1 & #2. Is this one of them or a previously undeclared Friend #3?
No, this is a different one 😀
I met my girlfriend on Tinder in 2016. I'd had almost a year of 'OLD bingo' some amazing dates, some not so amazingand the occasional absolute mentalist.
Anyway, what worked for me was to go in with zero expectations. When we met, I'd had a good few months away from dating, was fairly content being single and thus went on our first date with a very relaxed outlook. 7 years on, I met my best friend on that date.....and we're getting married in 4 weeks time.
OLD can be a bit mad, but it's the thought of trying to meet someone in real life that actually fills me with terror 😳
Last time I did OLD I ended up with 4 kids.
Did you not work out what was causing it?
Been with my oh I met on tinder for getting near 6 years now.
I found my current partner on Tinder.
That was a bloody awkward conversation.
I seem to have been lucky to only have one slightly strange woman message me and one fanny picture!
"lucky"?
Got a date tomorrow with someone 16 years my junior. I really don’t know what to expect.
Oh, you do.
Why is there a women’s STW forum
I absolutely do not fancy being a women in the world of online dating. Scary.
I am newly single but am giving myself a year or 2 to sort my head out and hopefully get fit enough so I can go on fitness singles😂
Hugely dependent on where you live. Round here there are about 9 people using it.
Hinge? Completed it mate.
😀
It's actually pretty good here (close to L'pool and Mcr). I like how it lets me send a little message to show off my wit and charm.
If you’re lucky a bad back. If you’re unlucky a heart attack.
Ooh, I'm not that kind of guy. Not on a first date 😛
My German uncle died a few years ago, heart attack on a caravan holiday on the south coast.
Last year my 82 year old aunt met up with a guy at a speed dating event (somewhere near Dortmund). She was supposed to be hooked up with someone else, but ended up with this young man instead - I don't think he's a day over 90 so quite a catch.
He has zero English but is great fun. I met him at my aunt's birthday, and again a few weeks ago - they were touring around England in a huge, very shiny Renault camper van.
Why is there a women’s STW forum
I absolutely do not fancy being a women in the world of online dating. Scary.
I am newly single but am giving myself a year or 2 to sort my head out and hopefully get fit enough so I can go on fitness singles
Sorry - my post was in reply to the post above mine. The talk of shagging after 3dates and the "go on son" 16years younger date.
This thread feels a bit FHM/Loaded magazine and possibly why there's now a female version of the forum.
The irony of the "shagging by the 3rd date" is that it was made 7 months ago by a female member of this forum!
https://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/your-dating-rules /
And 90% of my list was written by a woman on MumsNet.
Well, it is the average (or is it mean?) IME, but it's not set in stone or owt.
I like how it lets me send a little message to show off my wit and charm.
Oh, i've done that, usually get a notification "XYZ has visited your profile, maybe it's a match".
Go and click on the link, "XYZ has ended this conversation."
Did find out from someone who did this to me and i later met IRL and then dated that it was because i appeared to be a "short, fat nerdy englishman who barely speaks a word of swedish".
I mean, she's not wrong...
My date went well! She thought I was about 48 (I'm 59 *smooths eyebrows with thumb*)
And called me sexy when we departed. Shame I'm not available til next week now, but, yeah, s'good. 😀
Good work, I also had a great second date last night that's leading onto a third date. I'm slightly giddy about this, which is a great feeling that I've not had in a long time. Only seven years younger mind, must try harder 😀
Yes, my second date went marvelously as well. Extremely marvelously. Meeting up again next week again, at least once, probably twice.
(I’m 59 *smooths eyebrows with thumb*)
They tend to be more impressed when you can do it with your tongue. Or disgusted!
We need to start a (bad) review service for some of those on here who are holding back from joining. Whatever we suggest, do the opposite.
Last year my 82 year old aunt met up with a guy at a speed dating event
- Years ago I went I wanted to support my old mate so went a on a speed dating thing in Manchester. Had already been with my missus/bird/GF/long-term partner for nigh on ten years. Got quite a lot of positive feedback whilst along with several phone numbers whilst matey not got zero. Felt really shitty.
Maybe they both already know they have each got a date with you.
Maybe they have done it deliberately.
Maybe this could lead to something interesting.
Go with it and report back on here! 🙂
<p style="text-align: center;">I met my missus of 8 years through OLD, brilliant system - best way to screen for traits you know you need or wouldn't work for you in a long term relationship. We're engaged now and everything 🥰</p>
As per your specific concern, you're not exclusive until you've had a chat to establish exclusivity - my now partner was very clear that she was chatting to other folk still and intended to go on more dates... She never did, but that's irrelevant, I appreciated the honesty! And that's gonna be foundational to anything after a first date - they'll deffo find out so show yourself to be trustworthy from the start, tell them both that you think they know each other and you don't want to cause any strangeness and just ask them how they want to play it. Just be light and jovial about it, no one has done anything bad and it's quite funny innit - if neither of them find it faintly amusing they're possibly not gonna be easy partners!
Good luck with whoever you date!
One day I may have to dip my toe in in this world as it were. I have no idea what the etiquette is. somehow it seems simpler just to stay single[\quote]I think you may be right… the ones that I like the look of that “like” me are almost always fake.
I’m going to try the old fashioned method. Go to pub/gig/bar & see what happens
I’m going to try the old fashioned method. Go to pub/gig/bar & see what happens
Letch at all the girls all night without having the courage to talk to any of them, get pissed, come home alone, have one out of the bank and then cry yourself to sleep. Again.
Er, I imagine.
I absolutely do not fancy being a women in the world of online dating. Scary.I am newly single but am giving myself a year or 2 to sort my head out and hopefully get fit enough so I can go on fitness singles
I had a relationship through OLD years ago and after we'd been on a few dates she showed me some of the messages she'd received through her profile. Turns out that one of the main reasons we'd started chatting online was because I had not not started the conversation with a dick pic or a suggestion that she could be an ideal shag on the side while working away from the wife/home.
She'd genuinely received all this, I was horrified. The list of guys she'd blocked was a lot longer than the list of guys she'd actually replied to.
CougarFree Member
I’m going to try the old fashioned method. Go to pub/gig/bar & see what happens
Letch at all the girls all night without having the courage to talk to any of them, get pissed, come home alone, have one out of the bank and then cry yourself to sleep. Again.Er, I imagine.
sounds about right, yeah
I have also been talking to a couple of female friends about OLD - both of whom have done some. What I have learnt
1) good pics and get a women to write my bio
2) no dick pics
3) don't be weird - well thats gonna be tricky 🙂
4) no dick pics
5)Hide my collection of trolls and teddy bears before inviting a lady home
6) no dick pics
7) remember Robert the Bruce - if at first you don't succeed try try again
8) N0 dick pics
9) don't mention the unicycle I own
10 no dick pics
anything else?
This was my original list & its stood me in good stead
Honesty
No dick/fanny pictures
Honesty
Be open
Honesty
Listen
Honesty
Don’t bring sex up too early (Tinder excepted I’m led to believe)
Honesty
Make each other laugh
Honesty
Take it steady
Honesty
Have fun
Honesty
Oh and just for reference to @myti both ladies I have dated were through the menopause & sex was/is very high on their agenda. I know I might have got lucky but it was a nice bonus 🙂
Good timing TJ 😉
so do I tell them I have a collection of trolls and teddy bears by my bed? ie honesty or does "don't be weird" take precedence? 🙂
Letch at all the girls all night without having the courage to talk to any of them, get pissed, come home alone, have one out of the bank and then cry yourself to sleep. Again.
Er, I imagine.
Uhm ok. No need to be negative nelly. The world might be falling to shit but it’s ok to keep the faith.
Letch at all the girls all night without having the courage to talk to any of them, get pissed, come home alone, have one out of the bank and then cry yourself to sleep. Again.
You've just described my first year uni housemate to the last detail.
He'd never really been away from home before, he arrived at uni and obviously his first thought was to get pissed but he had no idea of how to pace himself or hold his drink so he'd get hammered, be far too pissed to talk to women never mind actually get any further, then he'd get depressed, go home and (presumably) do the last part of that sentence.
It became quite the routine.
He always started each night out so optimistic as well bless him. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be good, only going to have the one pint... 7 pints later, he'd be in a corner of the pub or club too drunk to talk to anyone. Every time.
Morrissey wrote How Soon is Now? about me.....
There's a club if you'd you'd like to go
You could meet somebody, who really loves you.
But you go and you stand on your own,
and you leave on your own,
and you go home, and you cry, and you want to die.
**
I was painfully shy when younger, only later did female friends tell me that I was kind, and attentive, and funny, and could have sealed the deal many times over if I'd been prepared to ask. I wish internet dating had been a thing 40 years ago.
[edit - that sounds very 'up myself' - I can only assume if I was in any way desirable back then, other late teenage boys must have been real pricks]
I have dated were through the menopause & sex was/is very high on their agenda.
All hail the mighty puncture repair patch. 🙂
Thread resurrection!
Had an amazing few dates in the last couple of weeks with the lass I meant online. We're now talking about a date where we go out and do an outdoor activity, she has suggested mtbing but I think I'd rather do something we both don't do regularly.
I was going to book surf snowdonia, but it turns out that the wave machine has been broke most of the year. The equivalent in Bristol is a touch too far to go.
So I need to come up with an alternative...
Any suggestions? I'm leaning towards SUP or a Go Ape type activity...
Any better ideas? I'm sure there'll be loads 😀
Zip wire at antur? Or even the bounce inside thingy in the cave, followed up by a nice meal somewhere?
Rodelbahn is a total rip off. In the alps it’s about €4 a run. £35 is insane.
Zip wire at Antur is a possibility, however, every time I've ridden antur, I've never seen the zip wire running!
Timely bump… had 2nd date (at last) with the “16 years younger” lady. We do have a great laugh, pretty sure we fancy each other… she likes her steak well-done (not a euphemism!), which is a shame cos we shared a meat platter (not a euphemism) and the steak was nasty. Apart from that, quite promising 😊
16 years younger - sheeeesh kebab! 😱
I've been seeing a woman who is 17 years my senior though wouldn't tell it!
Not via online dating mind. Traditional trusty handsome charm and cheeky all round git.
She actually loves me and that's what counts rather than a younger gf who becomes pregnant first time like a krazy rabbied cat in an alley on steroids to then kill off a being without letting me know.
I have little confidence in approaching women around my age bracket as fear they appear too young though obvs not too young.
Just that the league of fit beautiful fresh fruity numbers I am not in.
Alas I hold onto three decent bikes like a Sheikh and his Lamborghinis & Rolls Royces time to use them and get ripped ! Hoo-ha!
I have little confidence in approaching women around my age bracket
Depends very much on your age bracket. 17 years my senior would be 76 … well yeah, I’m definitely not into the mother types 😳
17 years my senior would be far too old, ditto 17 years my junior.
there is a woman sending me conflicting signals but she is 18 years younger. I am very dubious
Chaps, I wouldn’t worry about age. Funnily enough I have a gf who is 17 years my junior as well. We’ve known each other for 10 years. Met when I was 40. (I’m single, but date different people, that probably sounds weirder than it is, I’m not interested in a normal relationship, so my lifestyle suits me). I’ve done online dating as well. Been okay, but when I explain I’m not planning on anything serious, no commitment etc, people tend to be less keen.
The main thing for me is to have fun. There’s two regular girls I see, they both know about each other and they both know I also date other people….but when we’re together we have fun.
But I’d struggle with someone 17 years my senior as that would be 67. For me at this stage in my life I think a younger person or someone close to my age is more suitable.
Not even remotely a stealth boast!
tj - go for it; the worst your new lady friend can say is...you misread/misunderstood.
No-one will get hurt - unless you or her are stalkers...
This is the most recent thread I could find about online/app dating on Singletrack that is still open, so thought I'd add my recent experiences.
The main thing for me is that I feel I've already started to become cynical about women's profiles and photos, I can't comment on the men's as I'm only interested in women but would imagine it is probably as bad.
Things that now make me want to instantly dismiss someone, which when I think about it makes me feel incredibly shallow, especially when I'm hardly George Clooney. The below is in no particular
- Pictures on there dogs, especially on the first photo
- No profile bio text
- Photos of their kids
- Covered in tattoos
- Photos of only the head
- Filters on the photos
- Only a single photo or no photo
- Photos of multiple people, especially where there is one who is attractive and one who is less so, hmm I wonder which one is which.
- Photos where it is very evident that it was taken a long time ago. Often the first one, with more up to date ones later on.
- Poor grammer and spelling, I know someone will pick apart some grammatical error I've made up above, but I'm talking about stuff like kids would text.
- Negative comments about men and their behavior
So, am I being hyper sensitive and need to be more tolerant of peoples flaws (or perceived flaws).
Or do people of Singletrackworld have their own 'icks' as some would say in the modern vernacular.
More seriously,
You're looking for a unicorn. If you're "hardly George Clooney" then fit, intelligent, not a sociopath, pick any two.
What are you actually looking for? A future life partner or to get your dick wet? One of those, "being able to form complete sentences" would be high on my list; the other not so much. I couldn't seriously date anyone who was shit thick, it'd drive me insane no matter how hot they might be.
A 'unicorn' is something else entirely, apparently. Just google it.
What are you actually looking for?
Er, that's a good question, not just a brief affair though. Although I'm not George Clooney, I'm not ugly as far as I'm aware. I'm in pretty decent shape for a 47 year old, just no super model.
It's just that, you'd think if you were selling yourself in the best light you can, you'd put more effort in than if you were selling a used car on Facebook.
Sounds right up your street...
Or do people of Singletrackworld have their own 'icks'
Honestly, over 40, unless you live in or near a big city where there's a huge pool to choose from, IME the pickings from dating apps are pretty slim.