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i'm more for trying things twice...
just in case something went wrong the first time 😯
Yep, those require a bit of practice to get the hang of
I met my lovely other half on e-Harmony almost four years ago.
I met up with a couple of others before we finally met, but I knew straight away I would cancel my membership once we had agreed to meet up a second time.
We actually cancelled out membership together 🙂 (it was dead romantic..... honest 
)
Babble over.
I should say that I've done alright from internet dating, but probably the best lass I met was when I was on the rebound. She ****ed off eventually when I wouldn't commit! Anyway, the single life ain't bad 🙂
i met my OH via ID, 6 years on we are still together, before we met i had loads of dates and got a bit addicted to the "first date" and the adrenalin rush you get, so much so i had one weekend with 3 separate dates. i must explain this was after 20+ years with the same woman and after we split i unleashed myself, maybe just to prove i could still do it, i was like a kid in a sweet shop trying all the flavours. After about 6 months though it got boring and i went for quality not quantity.
i will say that honesty is the best policy, never pretend to be something you are not, you will get found out, be yourself and have a sense of humour and don't take yourself or the process too seriously
@Flowerpower, get yourself onto Trailscotland or http://www.meetup.com/Central-Scotland-MTB-Group/ to meet hunks like me (other men may be available) :lol:, quite often group rides in your area.
I met Mrs Ed on a dating site - my tips
be careful with the options on the profile, you want to include everything so that the sites don't try and filter for you
message as many as you can (it's easy to spot desperate or mental from the profile, just trust your instinct)
write your own profile as though you don't really need a date
don't try to be a comedian as you'll end up looking like colin hunt from the fast show
avoid the cliches - 'I prefer the pub to the telly' is the best antidote to the usual wine/dvd/going out/staying in nonsense, don't make the profile too long
2 or 3 photos max, one strong head and shoulders with a pale background (not a nightclub shot or one with your mates in) and one with you out on your bike, shows that you are in good physical condition and have a life not a saddo
don't write the words 'i'm looking for' cos it's an excuse for the other person to filter
until you're on date no2 keep messaging and scanning, keep irons in the fire 🙂 this is ok to do online
playing hide the sausage and checking your email isn't acceptable !
@grey - I am (TrailScotland - and my user name gives it away 😉 ) only made one ride so far... and nearly drowned, but yes, a really nice bunch of guys... will say hi when I see you!
I think I have just got meyself a date!
Had to turn down the invite... puffer weekend innit, but she seems happy to postpone.
Woohoo Josh 🙂
Had to turn down the invite
She made the first move and you..
Had to turn down the invite... puffer weekend innit
..seriously?!
but she seems happy to postpone.
Trust me, she isn't.
Sort it out 😉
I had a good go at it about 13 years ago, pre PoF. I meet an interesting cross section with some good results. One particular nurse I met become so addicted to the whole thing that 13 years on she is still at it 😐 If she ever wrote a book it would be a best seller but I dread to think how many blokes would be running for cover !
I met my missus online but was on a forum (not stw)rather than specifically looking for someone, 5yrs and 2kids later I couldn't be more [s]filled with remorse[/s] happy
bearnecessities, its cool she knew what i was up to, thanks for your concern though 🙂
Whether you met online or offline I don't think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.
If they go out with friends and score that night it's the same as picking up another date online. Some people are faster to respond than others so you don't even have to be actively looking, they could have expressed an interest before they did so in you, or someone else expresses an interest in you since afterall your profile is available to view. Depending on the site you can possibly see how active they are from when they last logged in or if they've hidden/closed their profile.
In a practical sense though it only gets more difficult to remember what conversations were had with whom and who likes what, so you can't juggle too many options at the same time.
Once I got more experienced at online dating though I had a ball. The main message of my profile was let's meet before we've set too many expectations of each other. It was quite a long time ago and less socially acceptable then, so it should be easier now. Gen Y seem to have no qualms about it at all.
Whether you met online or offline I don't think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.
Really - i think what it shows is that people have different expectations and the key is to discuss them - some would call that being a "player".
Personally i would not be "trial dating" anyone who thought it ok to cop off with someone else as i am not sure in what sense you are dating tbh.
I accept not everyone agrees and i would prefer to just not "date" those people as they are not for me. Its a free world they can do as they please but i guess it depends on whether you want a relationship or a bit of fun for a bit. the later has less expectations but again its not for me.
I dont really care what others want to do and if you are happy with it fine but you need to be honest from the start.
I joined Tinder to see what that was all about. I liked a load of women and had zero matches in 4 days. I think I am going to give up on this online stuff and concentrate on my bikes.
@Rocketdog - you amateur, I had 3 dates in a day - brunch, lunch and evening on a sunday. All at different `dating pubs' I'd established around the west midlands. It was tough going fitting them in with the driving but the evening one is the now Mrs Scamper 😳 😀
Scamper, does Mrs Scamper know that you're a drink-driving manwhore? 😀
Junkyard, that's fine, we're all entitled to own views, and really since you'd already clearly stated your position my comments weren't really directed at you, but at those who consider there's a threshold where it's acceptable up to a unknown point. I said unless there's agreement, you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can't expect exclusivity until it's communicated.
@ Junkyard & londonerinoz - thanks guys - it does just go to show that different people have different views. I guess I just have to be more upfront about asking in future.
As I mentioned in my original question, I don't think that the guy involved was 'wrong', it was just that I was unaware and so felt a bit caught out when I discovered there were others so far down the line. Have learnt my lesson 🙂
I have only ever got to meet girls through online dating. My most recent (if you have seen my breakup thread) was on PoF. I instantly knew she was genuine, and she only answered to my second message. We chatted for 4 days and then decided to meet. Thought she was the one - still do - but it's only a one way street at the minute. I also meet my first girlfriend who I was engaged too and was with for 6 1/2 years on Faceparty.
I don't think I could ever try online dating again.
Maybe it's not for you currently st colin, but in these palpably hard times for you, maybe consider for the future that you've actually been quite successful in forming long term relationships from online dating rather than negating yourself.
you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can't expect exclusivity until it's communicated
I think you can if you pick correctly tbh, that said yes I checked so you are probably correct.
flower its a bumpy road but worth it in the end, live and learn
I am more surprised he asked you as his back up plan. Did he really expect a wow that would be lovely - IMHO you dodged a bullet there so be grateful.
@Flowerpower, never thought to search your username, i will now go away and have a stalk :lol:.
There's lots....... None that appear to be that far north though 😉
Maybe I need help with my profile - come on guys what appeals to 40 something, chilled out, male mtbers / kayakers / snowboarders (plaese don't get this thread locked )
As someone who has dated a few outdoorsy types I would say someone who isn't trying to compete with men all the time. As in trying to out kayak, out snowboard or out ride you 24/7. Who doesnt drink like one of the guys and whom consequently gets a bit rapey. Who's idea of ckoseness isn't a slap on the back whilst calling you "mate". Basically not someone who may as well have a cock.
It gets tiring after a while.
The more I read these threads the more I analyse myself and decide I am best off on the shelf - geez its a minefield. Cant say id pat a guy on the back instead of hug him, or feel the need to drink at their pace, but conversly when I ride with men I want to feel I can keep up, sometimes I may be quicker (are we then supposed to slow down and ride 10 paces behind)
No. I mean going out of your way to be faster even if it means riding beyond your ability and/or getting in a huff if you get beaten.
Basically if you want someone chilled out don't be ultra competitive.
Copy and paste is the easiest way to get a date on them sites especially pof.
Don't go into detail with your message just keep it short and simple for the first. Especially as you'll only get one reply to every 5 messages. Most women on them sites are punching way above their weight, wanting tall, dark and rich, they then get used by these guys and end up back on them sites crying saying all blokes are c**** 😆
copy and paste, just change the names 😆
Pof is like a cattle market, you'll deffo get a few jumps out of it! 😉
Date is on for tomorrow night.
Had a date last night. 3rd time of meeting, but first proper date, met her on PoF liked her on the basis that according to her photos at least, she was weatherproof!
Spent £40 for the privilege of us being shouted at by a "singer" in a foreign language at a Celtic Connections gig. We left after an hour with the "singer" highlighting our departure to the audience, at least my date saw the funny side of it!
Basically if you want someone chilled out don't be ultra competitive.
I am who I am, and I'm not going to stop drinking pints just to get a date 😉
I do understand what you are trying to say, but this isn't about who you are, most of us on this thread are capable of holding down a relationship when they meet the right person... this is about how to dodge the bullets ( as Junkyard so aptly put it) of the online dating game.
You can try doing what this guy did, [url= http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/ ]How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love[/url]
^^ Interesting... but it took 88 dud dates 😕
Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.
You can try doing what this guy did, How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love
Was going to post that. Clever idea, though I reckon most folk who went on that many dates would probably find someone, what it did do though was increase his visibility to the people he found most attractive and allowed him the opportunity to meet lots of people.
Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.
You must have been reading applied Maths, a pure maths geek would never waste time with such things....
Genuine LOL at footflaps 😀
@ joshvegas - Good luck 🙂 We'll be expecting an update tomorrow 😀
The date was lastnight! Went quite well! I took the piss she retaliated second date on the cards 🙂
Good stuff. We (me and Mrs GD) met online nearly eight years ago. I have not yet become 'under the patio dweller' more a testament to her patience I suspect.
Went on FS, POF and Match for 4 weeks. Had 5 'coffees'. 5th coffee was a massive hit! We both deleted our profiles within 2 days - blissfully happy. Fingers crossed for future. We're at about 7 'dates in', First 'coffee' date lasted 6 hours!
Surroundedbyhills... Did Ms Juliana Klein not tick any boxes? We must compare notes! It's a small world...
Is 'coffees' a euphemism given the quotes?
6hours of 'coffee' is going some
6 hour coffee is surely a good regular 'coffee' plus an 'espresso' before you leave?
So what did you do for the other 5hrs55mins?
I think Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists. The market is there. Loads of lovelorn bikers of both sexes looking for that pedalling partner.
A 'coffee' is a chat. 6 hours of chatting means there's something there. It's because neither of us wanted to go home.
Just as a bit of advice to all you 'coffee chatters'. At the end of a successful date, don't just go for a polite peck on the cheek. Aim for the centre! That'll show you're attracted. After the 6 hours I almost went for the cheek, was interrupted by the target mid flight and a course correction was forced upon me. Touchdown!
So what did you do for the other 5hrs55mins?
I can make anything last as long as I want it to... even a coffee!
@Deveron53 - there must be a proliferation of shouty foreign burds at Celtic Connections, I was at the Buika gig.
Thing was the support act was brilliant Maraya Andrade she had a bunch of serious old jazzers (not me...) getting involved, the Buika comes on stage and it was time to leave or commit suicide. 😀 with apologies to any old jazzers out there 😉
Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists
Which one of us do you fancy?
I think Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists. The market is there. Loads of lovelorn bikers of both sexes looking for that pedalling partner.
Here you go, cycling specific speed dating 😉
http://www.hernehillvelodrome.com/friends/speed-dating/
Which one of us do you fancy?
This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me
"SinglesAttractWorld™"
74 men for every Woman
Houns you got a link to the gym girl thread?
Nope, hope someone could find it. iirc it was called "gym etiquette"
[i]sexual Tyrannosaurus[/i]
Masturbation not an option.
74 men for every Woman
Do we get a break inbetween them? 😯 (that's alot of coffee)
"SinglesAttractWorld™"74 men for every Woman
And not one of them a cyclist.....
I was out with a single female friend last night and we were discussing POF as we are both on it. I got a "Would like to meet" request from a woman who claimed to be 41 (not sure if that was years or stone) so I showed my friend. She showed me just how many of those an attractive woman gets via POF on a daily basis. I was shocked at just how many blokes there are in the pond. Made me feel a little better about my lack of success.
She showed me just how many of those an attractive woman gets via POF on a daily basis. I was shocked at just how many blokes there are in the pond.
I was on Fitness Singles about 4 years ago - met a girl on there and after a month or so we both deleted our profiles. While doing that though, she showed me some of the emails she'd got - cringeworthy.
Most were little more than "Phworr, you look like you'd be a good shag", one was from a bloke quite openly saying that she looked like she'd make an ideal "bit on the side" while he was working away from home. 😯 🙄
She had a list of about 250 profiles that she'd blocked from contacting her. So yes, a lot of people in the pond but standards weren't high. One of the reasons she gave for meeting up wth me was that I'd sent a funny / original email.
Umm, sorry.. I forgot about this thread..
As I posted up on here before I got messaged on the 1st Jan by a lovely lady. We hit it off fairly quickly by message and by telephone conversation (unusual for me) and met about a week later. Apart from her being "utterly overwhelmed" (her words) for the first half an hour it all went really well. The following week she invited me to stay at her place, she stayed at mine the week after blah blah, and we are now at the point where we have agreed to see each other exclusively and come off the dating site. She wants me to meet her parents and friends and wants to meet mine which I'm ok with so all good so far.
We have agreed to just see where it goes but it looks promising.
In terms of my other online dating adventures I was on Match.com for a while.. I was seeing a beautiful Russian doctor who was a fair bit younger than me (I'm 41 she was 29) and the differences in our maturity was very obvious. We did like each other and there was lots of attraction but the we wanted different things.. i.e. She wanted to get married and I was bloody not!
I also spent a few months seeing a Lithuanian lady.. again younger than me at 30 and also a Dr but this time in Clinical Psychology. She was bonkers pretty but also sadly bonkers.. On our first date she wanted to know when I would know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and it went on from there. Lots of pressure and stress as she wanted marriage and kids very quickly and I ended up feeling like a cross between a cash cow and a sperm bank.. Ended that.
I should probably mention that I separated from my ex-wife in Oct 2012 and haven't even finalised my own divorce yet so all this marriage talk was turning me right off.
The lady I am seeing at the moment is very chilled.. no pressure, no stress, very pretty and lots of substance as well as form... more fingers crossed.
Phew! 🙂
Jeez Jungli sounds like you dodged a double barrel there!
I was thinking this thread was going a bit quiet, in a true to life relfection of my own feelings...I feel quite jaded by the whole experience and have stopped bothering.
That said I have a second date with the chatty hillwalker type on Sunday and she's agreed to go cycling, maybe things are moving in the right direction.
I've got an update!
Saw some pics of a local(ish) woman, looked ok (er, rephrase that: Very attractive compared to 99% of PoFers!), funny profile, no cliches.. So I messaged (not something I'm in a habit of doing!) Few chat messages, seemed ok but not overly keen... "I've been chatting to another man and we're arranging to meet". Huh. Someone got in there first. Ok see ya, good luck.
That's all!
I'd quite like to go out with that Hannah girl off of that "make unfit people nearly die" TV program! Her brother is on STW, does that count as "online dating"???
😉
Ha! First experience of meeting somebody from POF the other night...
Couple of years older than me (no biggie, my wife was 6 years my senior...), relatively attractive, likes hills & walking, running. I'm new to the area so asked her if she'd mind suggesting a nice pub to go to dinner for, which she did. Then proceeded to be 45 minutes late as she didn't actually know how to get there, good start... And that was it...
Although, in a way it did me some good - realised I'm trying to get back on the horse a bit too quickly after separation. Time to go crazy, have some me time again for a while, buy the motorbike and do all the other things I/we wanted to do but family life, work, etc, got in the way of before we separated.
But some of the flipping descriptions on POF (and others!) - "average body shape", jeez, some of the women who've selected "would like to meet" and have described themselves as that, then looking at the photo... Although, my job and profile pic are probably quite likely to attract some weirdos, maybe I should go try uniformdating... 🙄
I'm new to this internet dating thing, by the way... 😆
I have no idea what the "average" body shape is like but if you go by the women who describe themselves as average on dating websites I would have to say it actually means podgy.
Yeah, well that was kind of what I was expecting but I've seen everything from somebody who'd be about a size 12 right up to 18-20. Although, isn't the UK "average" dress size now something like a 16 anyway, what with our pending obesocalypse...?
Fat-ists!
I like women who look like they have skipped a couple of meals, not who look like they are on first name terms with the staff at Greggs.
DezB - Member
Fat-ists!
"No madam, I think you'll find you're fattest...", badum-tish... 😆
I've dipped my toe back into dating.
I have met a woman who is 6 years older than me, I'm 31, she is 37. She is great though, very easy going, easy on the eye etc. The age gap is bothering me somewhat, but should it?
Does anyone have any experiences of dating an older woman?
The age gap is bothering me somewhat, but should it?
Don't know. It's up to you.
My mrs is 10 years older than me.
My niece's boyfriend is 12 years younger than her.
In my opinion it would be find till roughly three years time when there's a massive TICK TOCK of a biological clock in the corner of the room!
This is not based on experience...much!
The age gap is bothering me somewhat, but should it?
Entirely dependant on the cicrumstances, your attitude and hers. My wife's 6 years older than me, she's now mid forties, while I'm still late thirties. The age gap's never bothered either of us - she doesn't act like your typical mid forties woman now and has always had the mindset/attitude of someone more my age so it's never been an issue for either us, she's happy acting younger, she looks younger than she is and is very happy that that's how people see her.
UPDATE
Just got dumped on Valentines night. Nice.
The reason ? She told me, after 2 dates, that she wanted kids. Now.
😯
Gutted, as I thought it was going really well. On the other hand...
3 beers in, and I may move on the single malt in a bit.
**** Valentines day.
Weird...this thread is on m front page yet is 3 weeks stale?
I think the mods deleted a post. I saw it this morning at the top of my favourites with a user name and SPAM as last poster.
Well, it was either spam or something else in need of immediate deletion!
Well, just to say, I have no updates! Well, except..
There's a woman at work I found out is single, so I "friended" her on Facebook. She friended me back but that was as far as it went. She's got 100s of "Friends" so I think she just accepts everyone. That's it...