[Closed] Online dating help...

[i](for all the doubters, shoot me down, but 90% of the time, this works ALL of the time ;))[/i]

I better dig out my Sex Panther aftershave.

What happens when you meet for the first time and tnink they are nice but I dont fancy them at all. Whats is Lurve meister Shibs advice for that?

[i]Whats is Lurve meister Shibs advice for that?[/i]

Er, tell them?

(sorry that's my advice!)

I just said, "I don't think we're destined for romance" something like that. They'll know anyway (or be broken hearted!)

I'm not sure the "be yourself" bit really applies when it comes to sending messages on dating sites.

Presumably you are on there hoping to get into a relationship. It's impossible to do that unless you meet first. Getting a date on a dating site can be surprisingly difficult. You need to be fairly assertive/ aggressive to make it happen

Once you are actually meeting a real life person face to face then you should definitely be yourself and not attempt creepy pick up artist techniques you read about in "the game"

What happens when you meet for the first time and tnink they are nice but I dont fancy them at all.

You have the best time you possibly can, and with a bit of luck, you might make a friend out of it. I have to say, the worst thing about the process is having to let people down, but as long as you're not unkind, it shouldn't be a problem.

There have only been a few dates where it's been so clear that we don't get on, and in those instances, it's come as no surprise to either of us that the other one didn't text back!

But if she's keen and you're not, you've just got to be decisive and fair. Obviously, once you've met, it's real life, so real life rules apply - be a gentleman and consider her feelings.

Generally, I would stress what a good time you had, what a lovely person she is (they usually are if you've got to the date stage) but that you're disappointed that there wasn't that spark... Maybe you're just a fussy bugger, etc, etc, etc. It gets harder after a few dates...

It's impossible to do that unless you meet first.

How is it impossible to be yourself unless you meet 😕
be yourself when you chat/e-mail text

Getting a date on a dating site can be surprisingly difficult. You need to be fairly assertive/ aggressive to make it happen

Junkyard, my advice to you would be to NEVER, under ANY circumstances, try to be yourself...

They'll just think you're an irritating, argumentative, obtuse prick and that they'd rather become a lonely old cat lady than date you.

Lolz at the irony as that is your true self right there and I doubt it appeals to many hence you NLP them with your patter

Its been a light hearted thread no need to do that and drag it into the personal

Oops, soz Junk, I forgot the winky smiley... 😉

Junkyard - lazarus
It's impossible to do that unless you meet first.
How is it impossible to be yourself unless you meet
be yourself when you chat/e-mail text

I said it's impossible to get into a relationship unless you meet. Not it's impossible to be yourself when messaging. I'm just offering advice, you seem to want to get into a pointless, pedantic argument for some reason.

Still time to edit Shibboleth...

I'm not sure the "be yourself" bit really applies when it comes to sending messages on dating sites.

Wow Shibb where did that little tantrum come from?

Ah the edit saves the day 😀

[i]Ah the edit saves the day[/i]

Unfortunately not. Mod intervention needed?

🙁

you seem to want to get into a pointless, pedantic argument for some reason.

You'll get used to him.

Does that warrant editing? All I was doing was suggesting what women might think of him if he was foolish enough to be himself... All in good humour, just like his posts... 😉

Now now boys - this was an amusing thread dont spoil it 😀

Yes the last few posts it sure does look like me trying to argue and provoke a reaction 😕

this was an amusing thread dont spoil it

Apologies, just my attempt to diffuse Junky's nitpicking in an amusing way... 😉

Blimey chaps, get a room! 😉 😀

But if you do get a room we definitely dont need pictures!

"So, Junky... Are you the kinda gal that meets for a drink? Or are you one of those that just likes picking arguments on the internet?"

Likes making grown men squirm, Vaseline and zip ties...

*likes cold shoulders, single word responses & snubbing 😛

likes cold shoulders, single word responses & snubbing

Then dating isn't for you... You should try marriage instead 😉

Just about to phone a lady, to arrange a date. I'm shitting myself! Pathetic. I used to be so smooth and confident.
I've turned into Raj

She'll be far more nervous Dez, talk to her the same way you might talk to he lady in the nutty shop... That way, if it doesn't go well, at least you might walk away with a BLT and a slice of flapjack 😉

Good luck, you're a tiger... Grrrrrrrr

No flippin answer. Must've known it was me.

Obviously, that was "butty shop"... Damn predictive iPads!!

Did you leave a message?

nah, don't like leaving messages.

@shib - is "butty shop" a euphamisim? just checkin...

Not leaving a message hmmm... you could try again and just keep it short. Talk slowly and breathe, high pitched breathy squealing is unappealing! Good luck.

Leave a message - what have you got to lose?

Unless of course the lovely lady's profile is a bogus one set up by bored STW members - then probably just your dignity and any hope of a quiet life for some time . . . . 😆

O - you're cruel Wench.

"Likes phone hacking, message writing and twisted women"

Cruel to sew a seed of paranoia . . . But luckily not cruel enough to set up false accounts 🙂

@hammyuk - are you friends with Rebecca and Andy?

Dez - I'm on plentyoffist.com - want to borrow my login ?

You know, spread your net*

*yes, it was

"Plentyoffist"... Won't be his net that gets spread 😯

"Plentyoffist" got to be the best misspell/predictive text error yet 😆

adjustablewench - Member
Cruel to sew a seed of paranoia . . . But luckily not cruel enough to set up false accounts

This is still salvageable Dez, text messaging is your friend... Something like "hey, tried to ring last night but must have missed you, let me know when you're available for a chat... 🙂 x."

It doesn't sound desperate - you've waited til the following day - and if she's got anything about her, it'll make her feel a bit guilty for not taking your call when you'd arranged to ring. She might just have bottled in, in which case it'll probably help her confidence to know that you're still interested, and as I mentioned last night, it shows she's just as, or more nervous than you. So you can take a bit of confidence from that.

Stick with it, she's not dead in the water yet!

Plentyoffist

You could make millions with that company!! 🙂

1. I'm not the paranoid type. (She's real enough anyway)
2. I left a message on her account - she replied
3. I'm not free until after next weekend so there's no point pushing it
4. I'm really not that bothered! If something happens it happens. I'm too lazy to chase it 😀
STW is my dating substitute 😉

STW is my dating substitute

You have issues.....

irony /???r?ni/

noun the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

Blimey its not easy is it?

I can handle the complete blanks I do it too but when you hit it off and suggest a meet up for a walk then total blank...

Makes it all seem rather pointless!

Bump

Any news anyone? This is the best thread in ages, and reminded me of my very short and unsuccessful time on internet dating sites.

Not been a problem for the last couple of years as I met someone the old fashioned way (way out of my depth with her 😳 ) since when I have successfully stayed single (well done me!).

However whilst the flat was spotless in its bachelor pad days, it now looks as though I'm a relative of Edmund Trebus's. I'm going to have to get back on the horse if I'm ever to see the surfaces in the kitchen again...

I have been discussing bikes with a young lady, i got a bit stroppy the other day and started writing bollocks on my profile, since then its been better!

Also changing my profession to designing wind farms... winner!

Well, I had one that was a ****ing weirdo with pictures of someone else on her profile. shibbys Google image search trick lead to a rather curt conversation and the she actually tried to blag her way out of it in the face of the evidence, quite literally delusional.

Nothing on the go at the moment, deactivated all my profiles until I move house, nuff drama as it is 😀

I have been discussing bikes with a young lady, i got a bit stroppy the other day and started writing bollocks on my profile, since then its been better! - See more at: http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/online-dating-help/page/16#sthash.KhF3hWPv.dpuf

I always found the "bollocks on profile" approach worked well... Written, of course, not photos! 😯
It makes it far easier for someone to strike up a conversation... What on earth do you say to someone who likes "going out or staying in", does a bit of parachuting (once, 14 years ago on a gap year in Oz) or who lists their interests as "planking and banter wid me mates".

I only once dated a girl that was a keen cyclist - she recognised the groupset of my roadbike on one of my profile pics and her opening line was "Is that the new 11-speed Dura Ace?"...

Alarm bells should have rung - I'm fully aware that my bike-geekery is a serious personality disorder, the last thing you want is to people with the same issues getting together!

Anywho, I'm still dating the Perfect 10 I met around 3 months ago... She's even discovered the carefully disguised bike room with 11-or-so bikes in it, and whilst she thinks it's a bit weird, she doesn't seem overly worried. 😉

Well - I've gone and done it...

Signed up a couple of days ago and am completely out of my depth! Keep getting 'interest' from guys 20years older than me, mountain bikers in the USA and a South African body builder... Come on local guys - where are you??

I got one hello message, replied nicely - recognised a local trail on his photos, asked a couple of questions - never heard from him again. I know that I can repel guys from 30ft, but scaring them away by saying hello, it's a whole new skill... 😳

Better not say too much on here though... I think you might be my target audience 👿

Where's local? 😉

Maybe we should have a Blind Date style thread with Flowerpower asking 3 eligible bachelors 3 cheesy questions... I'll be Cilla...

Any volunteers? 😉

*fires up pof search*

I'm in 😉

I think you might be my target audience

I am out as i am spoken for

Its frustrating how you cant filter,

For instance filtering all girls who like beards would be convenient!

Likes niche mountain biking, being genuine, rejection.

Who will be our graham?

For instance filtering all girls who like beards would be convenient!

Shaving your beard would be easier... And probably broaden your appeal... 😉

Is this turning into a "I seem to crap at dating and need somewhere to cry/scream/laugh about the mad people on dating sites?

Hello, my name is Emsz. I appear to repel normal people 😆 some super power 🙄

Ps can we not let Rachel anywhere near this thread, she'll only gloat LOL

Do you suppose the local contact was hoping to play away from home?

Oh, and I'm too old.

Sorry - too far north for you DezB 8)

Joshvegas - that would be cool, I love beards - but can't grow a whole one 😉

Who will be our graham?

Annoying... Condescending... Not particularly funny...

JUNKY?? You're needed... 😉

I just want to meet someone lovely, intelligent, cute and someone to go on the odd bike ride with. Not hard surely?!

Hey Houns, how you doin... 😉

e- mail in profile Houns ...you can have a reach round as well
assuming you can put up with my unappealing traits obviously

One if the biggest issues are women who because of past relationships have real issues with someone still being able to talk to their ex!
C'mon! Kids, property, etc mean a lot of us have chosen to be adults, split before it got nasty, have the welfare of the kids in mind so do talk, remain friends, etc.
Deal with it ladies or buy the Crazy Cat Lady Starter Kit....

I actually think its quite good fun its a open arena to judge people heavily.

Flowerpower i will settle for a tache aslong as you can twist the ends.

I may have to resort to that shib

Houns, your post sounds like you're looking for 2 people... I'll be the person to "go on the odd bike ride" with.

You can plump for Junky for your other needs, although he doesn't satisfy any of the 3 criteria you specified... 😉

The ex thing is very true!

😆

That one even made me chuckle Chapeau

[i]One if the biggest issues are women who, because of past relationships, have real issues with someone still being able to talk to their ex![/i]
(commas added for my own needs 🙂 )

I haven't got far enough to find this out. But I hope I don't attract that kind of nutter!

Not nuts DezB - just ruin it for themselves!
It's ok for them to have kids.
It's ok for you to have kids.
But it's not ok for you to be able to have a conversation with your ex without arguing, because they can't with theirs 😯

[URL=

think some of you need to watch this[/url]

"I'm just a humble motherf*cker with a big-ass d*ck"

-Bunk, [i]The Wire[/i]

A big ass dick?? I would have thought that might put a few ladies off... 😯

I was actually on a little (and my first in 7 years) impromptu date the other night, i rode to the pub as it's only a couple of miles away and locked my bike up outside.

As we were leaving I got a really snotty look, "Is that your [i]only[/i] road bike?" If i hadn't been a giddy idiot beforehand I was after that

I did stipulate on my profile that a working understanding of n+1 would be required.

Likes chatting to pretty Redheads for a week, getting on well, receiving a text saying she's not over her ex and not ready to date.

Women!

Shame but better to find out now than next week after the date!

(It's usually code for "I can't be arsed with you I'm chatting to someone better now")