[Closed] Online dating help...

Oh boy... Big trouble!!

I like the profiles that start with something along the lines of:

**WARNING DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE A LYING CHEATING SCUMBAG THAT WILL SHAG MY SISTA OR ME M8Ss"**

I would like to meet someone who knows how to treat a lady.

translation: I have a shopping addiction and have maxed out my own credit so now need someone who can sub all my meals, alcohol and clothing requirements.

"everybody quotes Twain, all the time"

*Huckleberry Finn, 1840

(and: When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain) - apparently, from some internet bollocks google search

I'm contacting this one next... (cut & paste from their profile)

I'am a practicing Witch I'am not black or white I'am grey because nature is not good nor bad, I don't cast spells on people I work with nature

😀

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way

Please include some pun on you casting your spell on her - make it sound like a euphemism

Likes bungee jumping, the smell of rain and chocolate logs

I still laugh over how old the pics a few females I know posted up on their profiles. That and instagraming the others to death.

I would put an unflattering one up. At least then I wouldn't stress over it.

Likes rabbits, saucepans and boiling water.

I would put an unflattering one up

Not read the whole thread, but.......

I've been in pof for a while, got really disillusioned with it, yes met some lovely people, but also met some who lied/weren't right for me.

I got sick of looking at women who all looked the same when searching the site, hair the same, same stupid flippin scouse/hd brows that looked like someone had slapped tar across their face, same pout, same stance (stood side on, hand not on hip but on rib cage just under the side of their boob, head tilted back, oh and knee slightly bent). If you are on pof just look at how many do this!

That Marilyn Monroe quote is on every other profile, so is "DVD, takeaway, bottle of wine"

There are so many other things I can rant about but that'll do for now.........

Would I recommend the site? Yes, yes I would. Current girl I'm dating is lovely, In fact she's pretty spot (actually just thought she may see this!) on, she's well in to cycling/mountain biking. Washes her bikes (yes 'bikes') in the shower, has tyres and bike bits all around her place. She beats my ass up every climb and then takes the pee out of me when I eventually get to the top. Alas she's a teacher but I'll let that slide....I think she's a keeper 🙂

likes sideburns, grey hair and live music

dislikes foreplay, people who dont like dogs and men who insist on paying for everything.

*prays dezzieB messages me*

Good luck Houns! I deliberately avoid other cyclists - having been married, I see cycling for what it really is: a refuge; a chance to be blokey, sweary and obnoxious with a load of obnoxious sweary blokes!

Evening pootles to country pubs is fine, but no more than that!

Further to your POF observations, I concur wholeheartedly, but you failed to mention the "makeover" photos. There must be a studio in Manchester that has a huge round window thing as half the women in the NW have a soft-focus photo of them done up like a dog's dinner, draped in this flipping great big polo!

If you can't look like that 90% of the time, you have no right posting it on a dating site...

Ah yes. The polo shot and the holding the wall up shot (two hand against the wall and side of face resting on back of the hands)

Festival photos and cuddling a tiger (I'm actually jealous of this one as I'd like to do that) are frequent too

Houns. "DVD, takeaway, bottle of wine"

This is a subtle (maybe some of them don't even know it consciously) - 'in other words you are getting sex with me'.

Saying this- I know a girl who loves doing this. Once back from work she wont leave the house. Its curl up, tv on. Fri or Sat night? Curl up, DVD on and takeaway.

What an existence.

tongue out - do they still do that to show their cheeky side?

I dont see cycling as a refuge from women but as an escape to fun whatever the genders of those I cycle with.

Oh of course, but also states "my life is so boring that the only thing interesting about me is that I like doing what most of the population do on a quiet night"

For anyone giving pof a go then stick with it, it does seem the norm for people (of both sexes) just to stop sending emails without reason or warning. Just means they've found someone they prefer over you but haven't got the decency to tell you

Regarding the refuge, we don't live near each other so plenty of time to ride in own, and I expect it's the same for her so she can go ride with her friends and I can bugger off out with mine )

Ah yes. The polo shot and the holding the wall up shot (two hand against the wall and side of face resting on back of the hands)

I actually dated this woman... I didn't realise she was an offender til I found these pics on her Facebook!

(photos removed, even though they were quite well disguised!)

tongue out - do they still do that to show their cheeky side?

They do if they have a pierced tongue! I went through a phase of actively seeking the tongue piercers... They have some benefits...

I know who that is! (We didn't date just remain friends,)

You dated her too Houns? Lovely girl and still a friend. At least these weren't her profile pics!

Just chatted, still chat lots on FB

Maybe I should delete the pics... I would like to stress that they were purely to illustrate the studio!! haha

(I won't say anything but yes may be best.... And I know, just to illustrate the point). Let's face it, won't be hard to find another example)

I guess the equivalent on MSF is what I call the "Justin Beiber" look. 😆

Festival photos are a must for me. I love going to festivals (got two lined up for 2014 already) and couldn't date someone who wasn't into them.

[i]dislikes foreplay[/i]

Sorry, you're out

I'm the opposite Mister P

Houns is my [url= http://singletrackmag.com/forum/topic/anyone-just-given-up-on-finding-love ]inspiration![/url]

If you want false advertising just look up doity dating sites. EVERY girl likes giving rimming.

Really?

Funnily enough these websites don't tell you that alot of the profiles on there are false/not the person and......if you reg you get contacted by 'other members' who are actually employee's of the website to get you to subscribe.

I know this as its one of their common scams. Far far more blokes on these sites than females.

I tend to find the ones with all the festival pics (and Ibiza) aren't really true life-long festival goers or even music lovers. Most of them are what I call bucket-list tickers.

This year it's Glasto and Pacha, next year it's swimming with dolphins and Machu Picchu.

Yup Dez....... 4 weeks after posting that I got chatting to the current

[i]it does seem the norm for people (of both sexes) just to stop sending emails without reason or warning. Just means they've found someone they prefer over you but haven't got the decency to tell you[/i]

I've only been on the site a few weeks, but I've done that! 😆 (Only because others did it to me)

[i]doity dating sites.[/i]

I must confess to browsing one of these. I (honestly) felt physically sick at the photos on there. The horror.

Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones - remind us again how long you have been together?

I would agree with Shib the festival pics are to make them look edgy just like the gym claim is to make them look [ often despite the pictures] fit and active

[i]Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones[/i]

Some are seeking group activities, I believe...

😆

and 😳 at my ignorance and prudishness

Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones - remind us again how long you have been together?

I've nowt to hide/listen/read. However I know even some STW'ers have hidden hobbies etc. Do you think everyone on here is meat/two veg and happily-married with no cheating?

Oh junkyard.

I got a message off a young lady who was hoping to find someone to join her and her husband for a [i]ménage a trois[/i]...

They were outside my 40 mile radius though.

Do you think everyone on here is meat/two veg and happily-married with no cheating?

ménage a trois...

Is that somewhere to keep three horses...

likes swinging, casual fun and dogging

dislikes the fact the nurse at the gum clinic says hi in asda.

likes saying hi to phil dislikes cleaning that off that [ though shopping in asda is probably dirtier]

likes: this, that, the other
dislikes: people who skirt around what they're actually meaning to say

Quite new to all this. One thing I've noticed is the 'range' of photos in a profile. Can sometimes look like three different Women! Oh, and those that post a pic of her with a mate, so you don't know which one is 'her'. Could be fun in a 'Russian Roulette' stylee...

Surely the usual rule of thumb is that she will be the least attractive one in the photo and hoping you guess wrong.

🙂

Indeed. I'm such a noob. Hence just lurking at the moment.

likes laughing at this thread, having my fears about online dating confirmed and being pleased that having children and riding bicycles means that whatever happens i will be safe from the likes of Shibboleth

Leaving you free for the likes of me 😉

Oi! No fishing on my thread!

yes hammyUK, you are only allowed to fish for dezb no here . . . and there's a long queue apparently so you'll have to get to the back (of the queue that is 😉 )

Has this gone off the boil then, or are you still texting the saucy Internet minx, Dez?

No - I've not been available, so she'll have to wait 😉

(Just seen got another message last night from a lovely lady who is into decent music 😀 70 miles away though 🙁 )

Why should 70 miles matter? My gf is 40 miles away - just made it easier to come up with the first excuse to stay over. 😉

edit - actually, she's not 70 miles away - she's in the kitchen making me a brew right now...

Rachel

I can't drive 2 miles without losing my mind.
No woman is worth a 70 mile drive. Maybe I'll try the train if it goes anywhere!

No woman is worth a 70 mile drive.

Well, when I met the lovely lady destined to become Mrs16 (the lucky devil 😉 ), she was living in Liverpool and I was in Leeds. That meant loads of long trips, on the National Express no less. Worth it, though.

a lovely lady who is into decent music

Maybe I'll try the train if it goes anywhere!

You better hope it does...

I have no advice to offer. I like bikes, beers and my beard. Fortunately for me, so does my other half (7 years).

You wouldn't see a perfect woman because she's 70miles away?!!

The woman I'm dating is 110 minute motorway drive away from me

110 minutes? Blimey. No, I can't do driving. Not for anything. (Well, sometimes to see bands but they're important, like.)

Likes cruise control, four wheel drive and heated wing mirrors.

I use a doughnut principal: no closer than 10 miles and no further than 50 miles.

This helps avoid becoming tunnel buddies with people I know, and keeps fuel expenditure to a minimum...

Likes fresh meat, the environment and late night booty calls.

[i]tunnel buddies[/i]

❓
I feel I've lived a sheltered life compared to some.

I never met anyone to go on a second date with through POF but I had plenty of decent evenings with nice people, just none that really clicked for me. You've got to filter the nutter though!

I definitely put a few girls off with direct approach (3 messages rule - ask them out in 3rd message) as had too many experiences of endless texts which just faded out or when you did meet up there just wasn't any attraction there. I reckon it's about 50/50 for girls who thought similar and those who wanted to message for weeks first...

I think POF is definitely a numbers game whereas some of the other (pay) sites are a bit more tailored - I went on far fewer dates through fitness singles, but definitely higher chance of clicking with people from there.

And on the distance thing - current girl definitely feels like a keeper, met in the real world not through internet but she's 200+ miles away... The tricky bit is getting through the initial getting-to-know-each-other and figuring out if it's worth it - takes a bit more planning than popping down the pub for a pint - but once you know then you just work around the distance/travelling.

Ok Guys, riddle me this.

Lovely girl messaged me a few days back, exchanged numbers, texts and a few phone calls.

All seemed to be going well, she said she'd phone Tuesday night and was good for that, she was really keen and got a bit 'heated' on the phone, she invited me round to hers on Wednesday, 5 mins later the phone cut out mid sentence while she was talking.

Tried to call her back and it was dead. Flat battery I assumed, went back to fixing my tyres.

Not heard anything since and she's subsequently deleted her profile.

I've sent her 2 texts since (one after the phone died, another the next day asking if she's alright)

I can't work it out, which trapdoor have I fallen down? Should I just chalk this up to mentalist behaviour and steer well clear?

I'm going out with my old mistress tonight, my trust Mega.

Likes doughnuts, fresh meat and life in the fast lane.

Scaled, was it on POF or a pay site? If a profile vanishes off POF, it's been deliberately removed but her membership could have just expired on a pay site.

Sounds a bit odd, the "getting heated" bit is unusual unless you've specifically tried to get the conversation into that ballpark...

Sounds like a nutter, a scammer, or a married/attached woman that's been caught out!

Not heard anything since and she's subsequently deleted her profile.

Who knows? If she wanted to contact you she would and she has not- you dont need to be an expert in human behaviour to read what that means even if we dont know why she did it.
Granted it is a bit odd/weird and would make me think as well.

It was POF, I thought it would be a getting to know you chat as we've both got kids, took me by surprise!

The last one occurred to me, heart says throw one more phone call her way on the way to my night ride head says RUN FOR THE HILLS

Another thing to be very mindful of, there are a lot of women that have a row with their boyfriend, set up a profile and will talk very openly/suggestively with the first bloke that pays them any attention, only to bottle it and make up with the ex a few days later.

Sounds like she could be one of those...

RUN FOR THE HILLS

That just screams straight run for the hills.

* likes Liver, Chianti & showers 😉

likes lotion. doing as i'm told and baskets

allthegear - Member
Why should 70 miles matter?

wish mine was 70 miles away, would have to ring before leaving to make sure I was really in

Likes Phil Collins, Oliver Peoples Glasses and Dorcia.

Like dairylea, the smell of diesel in the morning and voltaire expecially Candide, ou l'Optimisme

I'd hoped this thread had moved on a bit. I've got a date on Saturday and I was hoping for some tips. We were going to cycle to a pub but the weather will probably rule that out. I thought maybe a cosy pub with a fire then to a screening of Brigadoon in an art gallery.

Likes all weather cycling, fireside sofas in pubs and watching old films in art galleries.

then to a screening of Brigadoon in an art gallery.

Does that work???

then to a screening of Brigadoon in an art gallery.

Is that code for something referring to something that'd get you banned on here?

That certainly wasn't on my radar as a first date.

I've not come across anyone that'd be down with cycling to a pub either though

adjustablewench - Member
likes lotion. doing as i'm told

Best start a new thread.....

Kunstler, the 1950s have been on the phone, they want their seduction techniques back!