[Closed] On my way to get the snip!

[i]It's fair to say I'm not exactly skipping and jumping all the way there.[/i]

well you sure as hell won't be skipping and jumping all the way home...

😀

This threads useless without pics 😉

Try not to 'pitch a tent' whilst you're there

I'm not sure that's a real worry. To be honest the boys seem to have cottoned on that something's afoot and have retreated to somewhere near the bottom of my ribcage.

It will all get very clinical once your there - room full of ladies (why do they do this), they say strip, you strip walk bollock naked to the chopping table and then a bit of tugging, smell of bacon and job done..

Make sure you walk out looking like you'r in proper agony as it will wind the queue up!

How much does it cost?

Cut and shut or slash and burn?

free on NHS for first time, but it's subbed out to Private practices.

[s]

loddrik - Member
How much does it cost?
POSTED 18 SECONDS AGO # REPORT-POST

My dignity apparently.

And he said it's the least invasive of the procedures he's doing.

[img] [/img]

Don't worry, by the time you're done you'll be feeling quite 'invaded'

How do you organise one - Its on my list and i should really get it sorted out - go to GP and ask ? Might check my private health insurance as well.
EDIT: As you can see I am being really proactive about it !

get appointment with GP - tell them it's about getting Snip done. You go to GP, they say are you sure, you say yes, they say really, you say yes, they say absolutely sure, you say yes.. They write a referral letter to a private practice, you get letter in post, go in, get jobbed, go home. All on the NHS. Be mindlful the waiting list can be upto 6 months in some areas!!

Where does it go after the pipes been blocked off?

Be sure to do some old jokes with the nurses about the two house brick method ,comedy gold 😉

What Sui said

I did actually skip out of mine, felt fine after. During however the anaesthetic did wear off, but that just felt like someone had flicked my plums.

Really is a piece of piss

Once the pipes have been cauterised, the little swimmers build up for a while in the nuts, so you get the feeling of being "full", but after a while the body producers antibodies that start to kill of the the little swimmers, which why reversals don't always work!

I went to see my gp who referred me to somewhere else. Had a consultation and now here for the job. It's taken about 3 weeks.

I enjoyed it so much I had it done twice. Mind you, I come from a family of strong swimmers.

The Nurse will see you now ...

[img] [/img]

Enjoy the experience 😕 I had 5 people in the room only the surgeon was male boy those nurses could chat; see if you can guess what questions they have rehearsed and call them out it made the time much more interesting for me! The worst thing is the growing back of the hairs, not itchy like you get with your beard, more like stabby pins in your pants.

Had mine done in Feb, word of caution, it still aches a bit on the left one from time to time, if it continues I'll be going back. Cut and Shut FWIW.

I'm not ashamed to admit I had mine done under a general. dont know why, it was offered and I said yes. glad i did as im a total wimp

not uncommon for the build up to produce lumps down there.
scared the crap out of me but the nice little man doctor that cupped my plums told me not to worry made me feel better.

the still aches thing has always been my worry.
i get it every now and then but i'd go into 'falling down' mode if it was chronic

Oh and poor timing btw!! - I got mine scheduled over winter so as to not miss out on mint trail conditions, back on the road bike after 2 weeks proper trails after 3½ weeks. Good luck!

the after effects were like being kicked in the nuts by the Hulk

🙁

twinw4ll - Member

Where does it go after the pipes been blocked off?

The swimmers turn into fat? Ya? Like my cats & dogs when they got castrated they put on weight.

Anyhoo, why do people get a snip? Genuine question btw.

🙂

This needs a "Picolax" approach. 🙂

Genuine question btw.

I think the idea of firing blanks is to stop babies Chewwy. Although I'm not entirely sure, maybe it's got something to do with taste, less salty perhaps.

My wife had been on various contraceptives all of which seemed to produce unwanted side effects so I did this so she didn't have to take them anymore.
It was fine by the way. The anesthetic is wearing off now though.

Like my cats & dogs when they got castrated they put on weight.

Will Toppers be spending more time curled up in front of the fire?

I had mine done a few years ago (slash and burn). Took all of 27 minutes.

Worst bit for me was 8 weeks later when I had to go to the pathology lab at the hospital with a freshly-prepared sample to make sure that there were no swimmers present. That was a bit humiliating having to hand a small sample vial to a young lady who gave me a 'I know what you've just been doing' look.

No side effects for me (other than small loss of dignity).

I bloody hope so. 😀

Save yourself some time:
[img] [/img]

Worst bit for me was 8 weeks later when I had to go to the pathology lab at the hospital with a freshly-prepared sample to make sure that there were no swimmers present. That was a bit humiliating having to hand a small sample vial to a young lady who gave me a 'I know what you've just been doing' look.

Why would it have to be fresh? They are checking for an absence of swimmers not looking for Olympic potential.

I'm waiting on the 'Jaffa Stamp' letter having handed in to discrete samples two weeks apart, 3 months post op, as per instructions. 4 weeks later and no letter so I'm suspecting I'll have to go back in for a little more humiliation yet.

Testosterone is not produced by the same glands that produce the swimmers..
from the NY Times

(don't)confuse sterility and impotence. A vasectomy can actually improve a man’s sex life. In fact, in the early 1900s, a German scientist popularized vasectomies as a rejuvenation operation for old men. It turns out that there is a tiny increase in testosterone level after a vasectomy. It’s not enough to rejuvenate your sex life.

It's a weird thing - someone takes a soldering iron to your man bits, offers you a cup of tea and then you say thank you.

On the plus side, it's doctors orders that you'll have to knock 50 out in the next few months. I just told the wife that was her side of the deal she had to fulfil. She didn't seem too impressed.

It's just like going to the dentist

After they've finished they tell you what a brave boy you were and give you a sticker

[img] [/img]

(Edit, bugger, didn't see Brassnecks use of the magic word till after)

A mate was told to shower regularly to keep the wound clean but sadly he slipped astride the bath when getting out 😮

he slipped astride the bath when getting out

Did all the local dogs start barking and howling? I bet his hearing improved too as all the wax cleared from his ear canals.

Maybe the sticker comes with the All Clear?

A mate was told to shower regularly to keep the wound clean but sadly he slipped astride the bath when getting out

That really doesn't bear dwelling upon. My youngest swung a right hook at them 2 days in, I swear I moved in Bullet Time to avoid it

Think it may have stung a bit 😆

I was hyper aware of that. my oldest was just over 2 when I was made safe and at that stage of jumping on your nads as you lay in bed. i slept with one eye open for a few months.

OP, I hope all went well. Do take it very easy for a few days and wait at least a week if not two before going out on the MTB

You just need to watch out for blue balls 😉 it's amazing how many nurses decide they need to check your wound afterwards. Nothing like having to lift your gown to show off your scabby nuts to numerous middle aged fat ladies, makes for some interesting chat.

I think it all went well. He seemed happy. I'm bloody uncomfortable now though, that's for sure.

Seems really swollen.

ice pack please.

Ibuprofen, frozen peas and MTFU 🙂

I think some get it worse, my surgeon appears to have been pretty skillful. I picked up a horrible bug (presumably from the hospital, full of sick people..)
the following weekend, that was the only real bad bit.

I drove to Stansted the same afternoon to pick my father-in-law up (Thursday), felt OK, Friday looked after the kids while the missus went shopping with FIL, felt kinda tender, Saturday and Sunday much the same. Monday felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to them. Rest of the week was hardly able to walk without looking like John Wayne... by the Friday the pain had subsided.

It's ok cause the wife's home so to take my mind of it shes not stopped moaning about how I've not emptied the ****ing dishwasher. So that's good.

toppers3933 - Member

Seems really swollen.

Slap raw liver on them and then find a dog to gently and slowly lick them for you 💡

Had mine about 8 weeks ago, was OK til the wound got infected. The doc said it happens to about 1 in 20 - nice odds !!!
Had to rub cream in twice a day for a few days, unfortunately I couldn't convince the wife she should help.

Don't worry if they don't give you enough local first - they will realise a fraction of a second after you do!

ernie_lynch - Member

Genuine question btw.

I think the idea of firing blanks is to stop babies Chewwy. Although I'm not entirely sure, maybe it's got something to do with taste, less salty perhaps.

Hmmm ... that's a bit drastic to castrate yourself innit?

What's the process like anyway? Do they have to poke down the "mouth" of you little man? Or do they just cut an open wound in your sack and then stick a very hot iron to burn off the nerve something like that? Ya? No?

My wife had been on various contraceptives all of which seemed to produce unwanted side effects so I did this so she didn't have to take them anymore.
It was fine by the way. The anesthetic is wearing off now though.

Ah that makes sense but still a rather drastic measure by comparison to using rubber or backdoor entry ...

Stevet1 - Member

Like my cats & dogs when they got castrated they put on weight.

You do realise that castration removes the source of the swimmers right? And by doing so it also lowers testosterone levels which is why your cat and dogs got fat.

This is similar process? Once that procedure is done will it make the person speak with slightly higher pitch volume?

It is a common knowledge in ancient China that eunuchs tend to have high pitch speaking volume coz they got theirs chopped off ... the whole lot ... nothing dangling ... according to my grandma.

😯

What's the process like anyway? Do they have to poke down the "mouth" of you little man? Or do they just cut an open wound in your sack and then stick a very hot iron to burn off the nerve something like that? Ya? No?

Nothing too drastic. After strapping the person down (or getting someone to hold their legs) they make a small incision in the scrotum and then carefully tease out the two testicles, a quick snip with a pair of scissors followed by a couple of stitches and the whole procedure is over in 2 or 3 minutes.

If you pay extra and go private they'll pop a couple of large ball bearings in the scrotum before stitching it up so that it hangs down naturally.

ernie_lynch - Member
Nothing too drastic. After strapping the person down (or getting someone to hold their legs) they make a small incision in the scrotum and then carefully tease out the two testicles, a quick snip with a pair of scissors followed by a couple of stitches and the whole procedure is over in 2 or 3 minutes.

If you pay extra and go private they'll pop a couple of large ball bearings in the scrotum before stitching it up so that it hangs down naturally.

Crikey ... at least it's not like castrating piglet where we just cut the sack open and pull the nuts out then cut it off then spray them with antibiotic and let it be ... the piglet would scream but after that just normal.

toppers3933 - Member

Seems really swollen.

Oh my , just wait till you get up tomorrow and everything (Yes EVERYTHING) is purple 😆

Well? Has it made a vas deferens?

Chapeau eddiebaby.

You've been there
You've done it
Now get your "I FIRE BLANKS" t shirt

I think I'll stick with menopausal women as my contraception. 😀

ernie and chewkw : please keep the discussion going. It's made my morning reading that.

Back to see doc int he morning. Not particularly painful but even I know they're not supposed to swell up like this.
They are a rather interesting shade of purple too.

[img] [/img]

I shouldnt but LOLZ.

PS hope all is okay

Mine went smoothly apart from later on picking up an infection in the wound - nothing a good scrub out with carbolic (wince!) and some antibiotics couldn't sort. Very little pain or bruising.

My work colleague however claims his meat and 2 veg went roughly the colour of aubergines. So much so his wife wanted to take pictures to show her friends.

He declined.

Apart from the green bits those aubergines look pretty similar.

f you pay extra and go private they'll pop a couple of large ball bearings in the scrotum before stitching it up so that it hangs down naturally.

I went private and got ceramic ones.

I didn't actually, NHS special. But now they've lost one of my samples so to be on the safe side I have to do another.

Feels like I'll be spending the rest of my life spilling seed (less) into a small pot.

I didn't actually, NHS special.

Well if you had upgraded to steel instead of ceramic you would have found that when the steel ones clang together the sparks generated send a flash of light which penetrates through the thin wall of the scrotum adding a new interesting dimension to bedroom frolics. Having said that your ceramic ones won't overheat and will stop quicker should you want to come to a sudden halt.

Loose bearings are so last year. Mine run up and down a groove that is designed for them to sit in.

If I ever get the snip, it'll be a walk in the park compared to what I've just been through/am going through 'down there' :/

DezB - Member

I think I'll stick with menopausal women as my contraception.

ernie and chewkw : please keep the discussion going. It's made my morning reading that.

Yes, some educational information I guess.

I mean where do they cut? Or do they make a slight cut in between the sack then stick a red hot poker in?

As far as I can remember reading the story of Chinese eunuch they just cut the whole lot off then put a "straw" to the hole to prevent it closing until it heal up. Sew up the rest and let the person to recuperate. The person who undergo this sort of procedure would have to endure the pain for several weeks sometime feverish etc and in a very unfortunate situation the person would die. In a way it's like the ancient ways of gender reassignment I guess.

😯

I turns out I have a private doctor so inbetween a couple of other things I mentioned this. This was 10am, 6pm they call me and ask if I can come in Monday no pun intended. I feel rushed here, like a startled stallion hanging onto the last seeds of creation. My wife laughed, cruelly I felt.....

I got halfway through the op, the couldn't dig out the second tube, so offered to send me home 'half cocked'. I told em to crack on. The opposite of nzcol - get it done, pleeeeeease.

Mate at work had an infection , me on the other hand went in feeling like death full of Flu ,came out fresh as a daisy because I lost around 2 ltrs through sweat during the procedure , made it worse the nurse looked like Helga from Hello Hello !

Don't worry, its a snip...

I had mine done 8 weeks or so ago, took 30 mins, everything fine apart for the small section of tube that wasn't anaesthetised...I felt the doc burning the tube...and nearly shot off the bed. Otherwise all fine. The car journey home was interesting as the missus drives like Carlos Sainz. Quick easy recovery - even gave the missus one the night after and then back on the road bike with a week.

Mrs t was at work on the day so mummy t drove me there and back. Most uncharacteristicly she attacked every speed bump on the way home like she was on her winning run at Red Bull Rampage.

Turns out I have an unusual amount of bruising hence the swelling. It's fair to say I've been more comfortable.