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So me and the future Mrs.TheRealHoops are planning the big day but don’t have a squillion bucks.
Is there a way to tie the knot for sub £5k around Plimuff. It can’t be much more as I need a new bike. #Priorities
Ideas please.
Keep the invite list small, cater it yourself and be really really chilled out!
Registry office, small invite list, take them to a decent restaurant afterwards. We did that and it was about £700 total. We had a brilliant day and all the guests thought so too.
We got married in Canada outdoors and told everyone they were more than welcome but we would understand if they didn't want to spend that much.
Threw a bit of a party when we got back. Ten years ago and including the two week holiday/honeymoon in Canada, still came in under your budget.
When you book you venue for your meal don't tell them it's for a wedding until you've got a price.
Instead of a sit down meal we had a local street food vendor come to the venue (which was amenable to such things). Much cheaper and everyone loved it. Spotify instead of a DJ (though we had a live band too). Venue was a local gig venue / multi use space that was a lot cheaper than a 'proper' venue... All depends how you want to do it really.
There were 15 people at our wedding including me and Mrs.K. We had a great day, everyone loved it. Don't waste money on stuff for other people.
We did all of ours in a hotel on a deal. Didn't bother with table decorations, favours or pre paid drinks as no remembers them anyway. Didn't bother with a car and had a homemade cake. Found a photographer who was happy just to wander about all day taking pictures, only had about 10 posed/ group photos then had a little book made after. It was cheaper for my Mrs to get a dress made than altered too which was surprising!
Our actual, legal stuff, bare minimum wedding was £350 in the registry office. We rode there, got married in front of our 2 witnesses, in riding kit (took helmets off...) then Went for some food after.
Had a fake wedding(so family didn’t miss out and big party a couple of days later, which added to the cost somewhat, but that’s up to you how much you spend...
Cost of one of the key dates in your adult life = cost of high/mid end MTB
which one is crazy?
or both !?!
Keep away from the "industry" at all costs!
Ours in 2014:
Bespoke custom made Cocktail dress for the bride, and matching waistcoat and hanky for me to go with existing suit. Even a bespoke dress was cheaper than an off the peg meringue. £1400
Hired pub from an acquaintance for civil ceremony and evening do £700
Ram raided local supermarkets for flowers £200 for a van full
No photographer, Couple of friends brought SLRs and as long as you get the family pics for the parents, no one else cares and you save a fortune.
Two Hundred meters of fairy lights to decorate venue £200
Big posh lunch for 40 at pub, and hog on a spit, plus salads and trimmings for 140 in the evening. - We like food, splashed out a bit here £2000
Invited guests to bring a cake or pud in Bake-off style, looked great and £free. Pub did ice cream/cream/custard
We spent most of the budget on food and drinks, total all in was £6k. And as you can see, we could have gone cheaper, but did treat ourselves to some niceties.
Daughter of my mate got married a couple of months back. £35k.
No, that didn't include the honeymoon.
😐
Ours cost about £200. Registry office and then meal at our local (Sutton Hall in Macclesfield) and they were kind enough to cordon off a section of the building at no expense. Just close friends and immediate family in attendance. A very chilled day.
Mid-week weddings are cheaper for a start.
We got married on a Friday afternoon, means we only had to feed the the guests once. Got the local butcher to do a hog-roast and the local sports committee did the bar. Venue was Loweswater village hall, (£200 for 3 days hire) other nice village halls are available. A band and proper photographer were the other only big expenses.
As has been alluded to above you and your future wife need to decide on the approx scope of the wedding. They can be done cheaply but only when all concerned (including the parents of bridge / groom if applicable) are onboard with the concept. Only once that is decided can other suggestions be made....
Does your OH want to be married, or have a wedding? Coz you ain’t doing the latter on £5k
Anyway, slightly sexist post aside. £5k is a odd figure, it’s above what you need for a simple wedding, but a few grand short of the usual dreadful Hotel ‘resort’ type wedding.
I had a Hotel type wedding, never, ever, ever, ever again (kind of the point I know but anyway). Forget a wedding a moment, imagine waking into a little countyside hotel, tapping the bell and saying “good evening, I’d like to book every table in your restaurant - your other customers? Oh don’t worry, I’ll give you 6 months notice, oh yes I’d like the billy basic soup / chicken and veg / cheese cake menu, I know it would be £10-£15 a head usually, I’ll give you £70, is that okay? All my friends are going to come, they’ll book every room in your hotel at full price and probably put more than a few grand in the till at the very expensive bar - but don’t worry, it’ll buy them say a bottle of £6 Supermarket grade wine between say 4 of them, call it 10 bottles, sixty quid? Oh lord no, I’ll guve you £250 for them, that okay?”
You expect a ‘thank you’ but I’m fact they’ll say “four grand if you do it on a Friday”.
Its a mugs game, best wedding I’ve ever been to was a registrar job in the council building followed by a party in a community centre in Germany. I think it cost £500 or there abouts. Best party I’ve ever been to.
Do that.
Daughter of my mate got married a couple of months back. £35k.
No, that didn’t include the honeymoon.
Picked my folks up from one recently, just about anyone was invited, free bars in a huge marquee.... Don't want to get close to thinking about how that all added up!
Some crappy tricks though, the people handing out the wine opened everything (screw top) and chucked them which meant loads of bottles of wine were wasted
We had less than 30 at our hotel wedding. My mum (trained cook) made cake, wife's uncle (former baker) decorated it, mother in law and godmother did the flowers, godfather provided a retro wedding car, did have a photographer though, but still amazingly cheap compared to a lot of friends.
Spent a fortune on 3 weeks in the Rockies for our honeymoon though!
Village Hall, local mobile fish & Chip wagon, ice-cream van.
Sorted.
ice-cream van.
The ice cream van we asked wanted £500 (ish, that idea was shelved pretty early on....)
We got married in St Margaret's chapel in Edinburgh castle, there was just the 8 of us-both parents my bro and her sister. We all stayed at the Glasshouse hotel for 3 days and had the wedding meal at Ducks restaurant. Iirc it was ~ £4k. Basically spent all the money on the people closest to us and had a great time, wouldn't change a thing.
Honeymoon was a last minute few hundred quid package holiday to Corfu that was brilliant.
Wedding 1 - big old affair, loads of guests, cost as lot, her folks picked up most of the tab my folks chipped in a fair chunk too.
Wedding 2 - me, her, her folks, my folks, a registry office and a s****y lunch. Cost about £500 all in, and £400 of that was the lunch.
I still wince to this day some 12 years later, when I think about paying 500 pounds, yes 500 whole ****ing pounds that I'd grafted for on chair covers!
Best wedding I went to, they did the registrar day before with close family. Then hired pub day after with BBQ. My mate said it was super cheap, only a couple of thousand I think for pub, dj, food and drink. He married a Mexican, so her family brought over loads of Tequila!
OH is already planning ours... I have not even proposed yet! Although on cards in Cairngorms this Autumn.
+1 for not saying its for a wedding. My sister had a big pub meal but said it was for a family birthday. As otherwise they add on £s!
I am hoping for Horner Farm on Exmoor. Means I can ride first too.
Oh ****ing chair covers!!
We had A Proper Wedding, in a way, but costs were under control...
It was a Friday. And we hardly let anyone come! 15, including us. But we had a nice room, in a building across the road from the cathedral (good for photos!) and all close family and close friends were there.
Small size meant we had a private room off the (small, independent) hotel restaurant for the meal and all sat together on one table. There were speeches (short), flowers (some) and drunkenness (limited)
and a party in the pub for 100+ the next day. With live music and craic and a second outling for the dress, and more drunkenness without ruining the Special Day!
we spent 5000 or so including photos and some years later think it was about right.
we managed it. Andy K has some good tips. these in particular:
Keep away from the “industry” at all costs!
No photographer, Couple of friends brought SLRs and as long as you get the family pics for the parents, no one else cares and you save a fortune.
Two Hundred meters of fairy lights to decorate venue £200
Invited guests to bring a cake or pud in Bake-off style, looked great and £free. Pub did ice cream/cream/custard
also:
we went down fabricland and bought 2 massive rolls of fabric for £75. Cut half into squares for tablecloths, cut the remainder into long strips for hanging decoration type things
we had a hog roast so asked the guests to bring either a salad or a cake. It's great - everyone does their party piece so it's all really good. 4 years later I still have people telling me how good the food was.
Mrs Doris's mum did the flowers (not the bouquet) on her allotment
Get your friends involved! Our friends and family lent us bunting, made cakes, DJ'ed, hemmed our tablecloths, did the bride's hair and makeup, took our photos, lent us a 'wedding car' - and the best bit is, they all come up to you afterwards and thank you profusely for letting them be so involved in your special day 😉
We did the officials at the registry office for £50 the day before. then on the day we actually did vows and readings and got a family friend to lead the 'service' (non religious)
We spent about 1500 on booze for the guests, 1500 on venue, 700 on hog roast, and maybe 1000 on other stuff like hiring plates etc, fairy lights, fabric, a hotel room for the night afterwards, yak yak
That was for about 100 guests 🙂
**** chair covers!!
Too right! That’s where the money escapes! I didn’t know they were A Thing. Until a venue asked about them, when our plan was different/bigger.
take any small number and multiply by 100 or more... soon adds up
bin *all* that stuff, just brief the photographer to omit photos of chairs!
Wedding 2 – me, her, her folks, my folks, a registry office and a s****y lunch. Cost about £500 all in, and £400 of that was the lunch.
When/where was this? For the absolute bare minimum (we didn’t even exchange rings...) ours was £70 to reserve the date (up to a year in advance), £100 to give notice, then £150 for the actual day (a Thursday) No guests, smallest room possible etc
that was 2 weeks ago, in Leeds registry office.
Oh **** chair covers!!
ahahaha yes that pretty much became our mantra!
And don't - do not - ever - look in a wedding magazine or website. Cheerleaders for a bullshit industry.
My son got married recently. Thank god her folks paid. No idea how much but I reckon it must've been 20-30K, I think the cake alone was something silly like £400 & the photographer was 2k ffs!
Absolute stupidity.
When you book you venue for your meal don’t tell them it’s for a wedding until you’ve got a price.
This - for everything, cakes, music, taxis, the ****ing lot. Silly, silly money is expected the minute a wedding is mentioned.
I can see why cakes are so expensive. My sister made ours (she is really, really good, should seriously consider doing it for a living) Anyway, the blue flowers alone were 8hrs worth of work! The whole icing-flowers bouquet on it were so good everyone thought they were real.
Anyway, free cake, her mum's old wedding dress, a dress for the bridesmaid, local farm shop restaurant thing booked out for the whole (Friday, wife booked the wrong day!) evening for about 30 people, a photographer, all the legal stuff, some accomodation in the village for those too elderly/infirm/etc to join us camping in the field was about £2.5k. Evening entertainment was a huge campfire and several bottles of nice whiskey, which is a very pleasent way to spend the wee small hours with a load of people you haven't seen for ages.
..
The cost of the previous wedding I went to would have been easily enough to clear our mortgage. It was a nice party but I know which I'd rather.
.
Also, what's with 'wedding lists'? Seems extraordinarily tacky to me. Luckily I've only ever been invited to one wedding where there was such a thing, which I ignored. We said no presents on our invites, but people still brought things,small items but they appear to be things they had put some thought, time and effort into, all lovely.
.
Last wedding invitation I got was a text message, 'Married in secret last month, do in the village hall next Saturday, hog roast booked, bring a bottle' Sounds a lot more fun than most posh dos.
We got friends and family involved. Luckily we had a couple pro photographers as friends. Others chipped in for other activities, eg brother and friend did some DJing. Some family made cake. We bought the beer in the supermarket when it was on special (some nice ales and lagers) and a barrel from the local brewery. I'm not a fan of weddings in venues where the geusts need to pay a fortune for a choice of Carling or Tetley's so finding one where we could provide our own was key. Wife's parents still spent quite a few quid on catering, band, dress, etc as they wanted too. I suspect the total was still pretty high but we thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.
We got lucky with the venue as it was used for the ceremony, daytime activities, evening do and allowed free camping.
Just don't get married. Carry on as you are for free. Spend the 5k on a great holiday.
If you do get married it'll cost you more to get out of the contract anyway so why do it?
We did ours for 55 people for just under £10k. Could have been chapear as about £3.5k was on the rings and photography, but those are the bits we kept. So take those off and it was about £6k. Only fed people once with a BBQ for which my brother (when he was a farmer, not now as a BBC news reader!) provided some of the meat, p20s suit from M&S, my dress in a sale, decoration largely all done by ourselves and family, cakes (selection) were £80 done by a friend of mums, we did have a car but we struck up a deal with a local company inducing mini van at the end of the night and the DJ could have saved us £200 but we ended up moving house v close to the date so saved having to come up with a play list. Church bit cost about £500. It was great fun and 5 years later people still talk about it .
We went for village hall, van load of proper pasties, land rover load of beer and cider from the local brewery, stack of Yorkshire curd tarts and a cake by a friend and another friend brought their ceilidh band. 100+ people, no idea to be honest. Well within your budget, but you may have to pass on the carbon wheels for now.
We both had a rather clouded view of the industry as I used to work for a marquee firm and my wife an event harpist so we were well aware of how it can escalate and ultimately, everyone is just happy for a big party.
Seat covers are expensive because they take friggin' ages. And never order gold chairs unless they are freshly painted.
it's a numbers game, the cost is directly proportional to the number of seats
Drove my (slightly hungover mate) down to the hotel from the chalets we were staying in for his wedding, the morning after, so he could pick up the tab for the meal and the ceremony itself... Her parents were picking up the tab for a lot, but after the £6k engagement ring (yes, really!!!) he had agreed to pick up the tab for the wedding meal and the ceremony... They'd insisted 140 of us in total came out to Tuscany for a week (we paid for our own flights and accomodation, but beyond that, everything else was covered pretty much), and the wedding meal was a paltry 7 courses with canapes before hand and coffee afterwards! A mere 100 euros per head (for 140 people! At least this was 2009 and 100 euros was £75 back then)... Then there was the £10k they charged for the venue hire for the day and the cost of the ceremony... He was VERY sober by the time he got back in the car having just written a cheque for more than £20k!!!
Don't get me wrong, everyone had a great time, but he conservatively estimated that the wedding cost more than £40k between himself and her parents... And that's before the 140 guests had paid for their own flights, accomodation, and any spending money for a week in Tuscany...
I was invited to the Stag Do, but had to politely decline sadly... Having known him since we were born pretty much, it did wrench a bit, but he did say to me (given I was between jobs at the time) not to worry about it as it would be a ridiculously drunken mess and huge excess from a load of guys that could afford it... They stayed 2 nights in 5star accomodation (£250 per person per night!), and had a day at the races (where some of them gambled many £thousands each...). For some people, their enjoyment is directly linked to being able to spend more than the next person when it comes to celebrations! Personally, I couldn't give a shit... But there we go...
My mate has it sorted. They are getting wed at Monkeyworld. The only alcohol allowed is for the toast and there will be a small buffet. Then they'll meet mates later at a pub.
It's as cheap or expensive as you want it to be.
We just went to Tuscany with my folks and her folks, my bro and his wife. Had a week in the Tuscan hills, a wedding in Lucca, and honeymoon in Amalfi.
When we came home we hired a village hall, did the catering ourselves, and had a party for friends and extended family.
Everyone happy.
I'm at that age where people are getting married, it's amazing to see how much people earn despite seeming to have a similar upbringing to myself.
Some of the weddings I've been to have been amazing and then I got married in the registry office and couldn't afford to invite anyone other than my family.
It's frustrating really even if I worked myself into an early grave I'd not make as much as they do, makes you wanna give up. I'm not talking first class oxbridge grades here either.
@tails are you sure they can afford it? A lot of people take out loans for posh s****y weddings!
I think we spent around £5k on the wedding. We had our wedding on a Friday. Church wedding followed by a nice meal in a pub with about 30 family and friends. Had a lovely day and was able to speak to everyone we wanted to.
Next day we booked out the same pub and had about 100 people come for a big party. We didn't pay for any booze but put on a buffet for the evening. We had a brilliant time and thin kwe are both glad we didn't spend more as we could afford to go to New York and then Greece for the honeymoon which were both fantastic. I would def say spend more on the honeymoon.
it’s amazing to see how much people earn despite seeming to have a similar upbringing to myself.
Don't be too sure. More likely it's all down to credit cards and loans.
Or bank of mum and dad, as was the case for me.
(we didn’t ask for a cent, was almost forced upon us...)
Boom!
FIFY.
I took me Bird on Holibobz, proposed and had a simple ceremony near Porto Cervo whilst I was at a World Champs Sailing Event.
We didnt want to spend too much so we cut the following
Wedding dress. Wife didnt want one so bought a dress she did like for £200 instead
Invitations, seating plans etc. Designed our own and had them printed on line, way cheaper than wedding stationary.
Drinks. We got 2 barels from a local brewery and paid £50 corkage to the venue
Table decs, Ikea Carafes with flowers from friends garden they were happy to let us have
No bridesmaids and favours
Avoid all the extras the veunes try to persuade you to add on. They cost a fortune for nothing. A classic example was chair covers, Only £5 each!!!!! We asked why their chairs were so bad they needed covers so they did them for free 🙂
Avoid all the extras the veunes try to persuade you to add on.
'oh, sir would like his guests to choose what food they'd like from a menu (2 meat, one veg option)? £10 a head extra please'
<span style="display: inline !important; float: none; background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.4px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I’m at that age where people are getting married, it’s amazing to see how much people earn despite seeming to have a similar upbringing to myself.</span>
People are on maximum show off mode at these kind of events so not necessarily indicative of their normal lifestyle.
At the end of the day it's about what you want and how big a family you have. If you have a big family and are relatively close then there will be an expectation from the wider family to be involved...not necessarily you spend a lot on them, but that will inevitably bump up the cost.
I got married 12 years ago and we did it relatively cheaply at the time for the usual format standard wedding and that still came in at £14k. Luckily we went thirds with our parents. If they were not able to contribute we would have been into credit card/loan territory.
Registry office and a meal for about a dozen family and close friends. Despite misgivings I really enjoyed it, and the special-ness was not a function of the budget.
mine was expensive. The full church malarky, lot of people (inc those I'd never seen before, and haven't seen since), pukka reception, toastmaster, line up, custom made dress worn once etc
We didn't pay. The in-laws did
My brother got married in the Registrar office. Their kids were there, as were my parents. Nothing else.
I know which one I'm hoping my daughter (and son!) will do
I’m at that age where people are getting married, it’s amazing to see how much people earn despite seeming to have a similar upbringing to myself.
Some of the weddings I’ve been to have been amazing and then I got married in the registry office and couldn’t afford to invite anyone other than my family.
It’s frustrating really even if I worked myself into an early grave I’d not make as much as they do, makes you wanna give up. I’m not talking first class oxbridge grades here either.
Took us on a bit of a journey there didn't you 😉
Things I've learned over the years:
By and large NO ONE in the UK will tell you what they really earn, NO ONE. People might give you a nudge and a wink, bit of flash here, but mostly you'll never really know.
You might be surprised how much circumstances can affect people's lifestyle much more than their income.
A Uni degree, even from Oxbridge isn't a guarantee of riches, it doesn't hurt, I know a lot of people who have that background are quite wealthy, but then again, they were before they went too.
As a former finance underwriter, I know how many people have zero idea how much they actually have, or worse spend. I met people who spent hundreds a month more than they earned, and had done so for as long as records went back - 6 years.
Mostly though, it can be a measure of desire 'afford' is a pretty flexible term. Some people live for that idea that it's their special day, we saved pretty much every spare penny we had for 18 months (against my better judgement) and still ended up £1000 in debt at the end of it. I would have preferred the registry office with a couple of witnesses and go to the pub and a lovely holiday with my lovely new bike. In fact given my way I would have prioritized the Holiday and Bike and then only been able to afford the cheap wedding.
When I hear about 'Average People on the Street' dropping £30k on a wedding I can only think they're heading for a massive anti-climax, I know that's how I felt the day after ours, all those months of stress, planning, saving (and saving) agonising over this and that and then, boom it's over, you moment in the spotlight gone forever, your friends and family might remark about it on the way home "it was okay that" "yeah, not bad, I think I preferred Tom and Barbara's last year" "Yeah, the food was better" and if you heard them you might scream "OH the food was better was it, I paid £200 to wine and dine you pair of shits" but you know deep down, that's exactly how you feel at other peoples weddings.
The real killer at weddings is numbers, if you're inviting people you don't really know, then you're just showing off, or feeding your ego when that guy you worked with 6 years ago comes to shake your hand and say how great you are, or your second cousin your partner has never met, nor will again finds their way into every photo.
Frankly it's a mugs game, I never wanted to get married, but I love my wife and it was important to her, so I agreed, almost, happily. I applaud anyone who does it for £500 or whatever, after all, you say the words, sign the paper and you're done, the rest is garnish.
When I hear about ‘Average People on the Street’ dropping £30k on a wedding I can only think they’re heading for a massive anti-climax
I just had a massive hangover after ours.....
By and large NO ONE in the UK will tell you what they really earn, NO ONE.
Unfact.
Get married in the winter and haggle.
We saved a fortune on our wedding by originally booking it for November (winter weddings are normally cheaper) and also the fact it was 2013 which meant a lot of couples didn't want to get married that year due to it being deemed unlucky.
I then managed to change the date to the last summer day available (August) and kept the same winter price, the venue were also doing a deal of £2013 off for summer weddings that year, which I also cheekily managed to get them to apply, making our deal more than 50% cheaper than it should have been for a wedding at the venue that time of year.
This was at a nice, normally expensive venue in Ascot/Sunningdale with 5 hotel rooms included and another 20 at reduced rate for guests, all catering and sole use of the venue, plus breakfast the next day
With a total of 50 day guests and another 60 evening the lot came in at under 5.5k
Also saved a fortune on the cake by buying cupcakes from waitrosse (they do/did them to order £1 each) and using a £10 cake from sainsburys on top
Mother in-law paid for the dress which saved us another load
Oh and ask for cash as gifts, we discovered people are mega generous at weddings, we ended up with over 5k as gifts which pretty much paid for the venue.
Good Luck
What's wrong with the classic wedding? Las Vegas drive through venue, dressed as Elvis and a big ole Cadillac to arrive in? if the family wants to be there...Skype. Cheap as chips and good riding not far from town
(not married by the way)
I work on posh weddings periodically. Did one not so long back - the dinner was held in a marquee in the grounds of a Historic Royal Palace. The rental period to cover the marquee build and strike was 2 weeks. I was on site doing lighting (stage, dancefloor and ambient stuff) for 6 days straight managing a crew of 10 guys with 3 artic trailers worth of kit. Separate subcontractors doing sound, rigging, aircon, power (all from brought in generators). Dining tables were all custom built (and skipped afterwards). Florals were stunning - it was like walking into a forest - trucks and trucks and trucks of the stuff - again, landfill the following day. Waiting staff numbers were into 3 figures. The menu was printed into chocolate coins the size of a side plate in case the guests got peckish between courses.
Then there was the rental cost of the state rooms in the place for the pre-dinner drinks, plus more lighting (another 6 guys as it was a rush build after the venue closed to the public), back ground music, more flowers, drinks, more waiting staff.
The guests were in the marquee for maybe 4 hours, tops...
I genuinely have no idea how much it cost. Easily 7 figures, probably 8....
Who was getting married?
No idea (not UK based), and we were all NDAed up the wazoo and back so I couldn't tell you anyway.
Whilst I like the technical aspects of my job, the combination of sheer excess and massive waste doesn't half get to you after a while...
If your OH is reading "your wedding", you're screwed.
Best way to keep cost down is to organise it yourself. Avoid "the industry" AT ALL COSTS.
Guests, stick to family and actual friends, we were just under 50 all in. Enough to make the place busy but not so many as to bankrupt us. And all of them we knew well.
Afternoon ceremony, no brainer - feed everyone once, properly at tea time, none of this wedding breakfast cobblers.
Catering, got someone local who did events, chatted to them a couple of times and told them what we wanted (loads of courses, but each one quite small, not just a starter/main/desert - sneaky thing was, nobody got to choose, but between the courses every diet preference present ended up with at least a few things they were happy with), they did a bang up job, they also did the cutlery and tablecloths and tables all that stuff and brought a few serving staff.
Band, booked them off t'interweb ourselves. They were great.
Venue, found a local stately home that here just starting to doing weddings - blind luck - so as one of their 'test cases' we weren't at full cost, they sorted the registrar. Otherwise we were looking at registry plus somewhere with an 'event hall' afterward, and in that case the word "wedding" was not to be mentioned to them, ever. Venue did the bar at normal sort of bar costs.
Photographer, local guy, again just found someone willing to wander around all day, only a couple of times with posed photos.
Flowers and cake, local independents again.
£5k all in, half of that on food, not including The Dress (no idea, in-laws covered it!)
You'll note a continuing theme with "local independent" suppliers going on.
I won't disagree that organising it yourself can be stressful.
As said avoid "the industry", lots of very vey nice village halls in very very nice places at very cheap prices.
We used a nice new EU funded village hall close to where my wife grew up. I think it cost us £75 but it had to be clean by the next evening for a yoga class.
Large lanterns and 200m fairy lights under £100 the lot from Aliexpress, these were re-sold on ebay after.
Luckily friendly with a very good caterer who did a great price, and provided staff for bar.
Music was spotify and a very good live band (only expensive bit).
Cars were my dads sports car to drive me to / us from, and we borrowed a couple of range rovers from friends and friends bosses to drive the bridesmaids.
Bar I ran myself (license from council £30) and was priced to guests at cost- one trip to Bargain Booze to fill up a pick up truck (and a call to a local brewery for a keg).
Bargain Booze did sale or return on all the booze(!), some did go back. Wine merchant did sale or return on table wine and free glasses.
All you need for a good party is good people. good music and good cheap booze.
Haven't read all the posts before this but it can be done for a lot less than 5K.
I got married 6 years ago and we were very relaxed about our wedding, we'd been together for 19 years previous. Ceremony was at Leeds registry office and the do was at East Keswick village hall, although they have since put their prices up. We had a barbecue (catered) and then pie and peas for supper. But our was 4.5K all in including my suit and my wifes dress, kids outfits, a DJ ( I forgot to book a band!).
It even included all drinks for about 80 people, via bringing shed loads of wine and cheap plonk back from France and buying booze from supermarkets when it was on offer. We had shit loads left over as well!!
We paid the caterers to get a couple of people to run a bar and collect glasses, but there was no money changing hands so it didn't need a licence.
Great day.
Been reading this with interest as we're planning on getting married soon. Now i'm pretty convinced that 4pm at the registry office & straight to a nice pub for beers & a meal is the thing to do. Cba with bands & dancing and the hassle of putting on 'a wonderful day'. Ceremony, booze, food, booze i think will do.
if you think this bit is expensive just you wait until the divorce part...
<div class="bbp-reply-author">mos
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<div class="bbp-reply-content">Been reading this with interest as we’re planning on getting married soon. Now i’m pretty convinced that 4pm at the registry office & straight to a nice pub for beers & a meal is the thing to do. Cba with bands & dancing and the hassle of putting on ‘a wonderful day’. Ceremony, booze, food, booze i think will do.
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TBH it's worth doing something memorable, although I guess you'll always remember getting married, but my advice, if you've got a few grand to spare, spend it on something you want rather than 'doing the done thing' and getting humped by the 'Wedding Mafia' (as the industry is known in Business Circles).
Given free reign I'd have done the above and sodded off to Australia for 3 weeks or something.
Oh and ask for cash as gifts,
Oof.
Is there a way to tie the knot for sub £5k around Plimuff.
wedding licence is what £100. All a wedding is a contract. Do it cheaply and spend the money on something an actually worth while.
DO NOT tell any supplier that its a wedding, price automatically 2x-3x for that magic word. Book catering for a birthday party and get the cake somewhere else etc etc.
When I got married, the approach we took was to spend money on things that really mattered. Anything we could make or supply ourselves to a reasonable standard, we did. Invites, seating plans, table decorations, cake, dress, bouquet, photographer, helium ballons, all either hand-done by us or friends.
When you've been handing out money hand over fist for a year it's really easy to get into the mindset of "oh, it's only another £50," especially as you're getting close to the big day and a bit panicky. This is deadly, don't do it. Eg, we thought about favours late in the day and were looking at various nicknacks for a couple of quid each - then realised, £3 for 50 guests is £150! We ended up getting some little hessian drawstring baggies for a few pence each and a big sack of sweets to fill them. Made our own gift tags, they went down a storm.
Others have said this but it's worth repeating again - some venues will take the piss, and the volume of urine extraction varies quite widely. Get itemised quotes for everything. One place we looked at had a wedding planner with a big checklist going through what we did and didn't want. One item was "fairy lights." We thought, oh, that sounds nice, and asked for details. She said, "oh, these" and pointed to lights wrapped around beams in the ceiling. For the privilege not of giving us fairy lights or even putting up fairy lights, but for simply not taking them down after Christmas they wanted an extra £150. GTF. See also, seat covers - I want a venue with chairs that aren't so crap that they need covering, thanks.
we thought about favours late in the day and were looking at various nicknacks for a couple of quid each – then realised, £3 for 50 guests is £150! We ended up getting some little hessian drawstring baggies for a few pence each and a big sack of sweets to fill them.
Or don't bother at all... (that's not a dig Cougar).
Does anyone really care about 'favours'? The kids play with them, I spent 2 evenings filling bags like Cougar, I'd say 90% got swept into the bin a few hours after they were put out.
Or don’t bother at all… (that’s not a dig Cougar).
True. If we hadn't come up with a way to do it for a bit of time and a few quid we wouldn't have bothered.
We had a thought early on of having disposable cameras on tables so that guests could take their own photos and hand them back at the end of the night. We thought it'd be a nice idea, but the cost of the cameras plus developing was eye-watering and in 2015 who doesn't have a camera-phone in their pocket anyway? So we sacked it off as a bad idea.
We're getting married next year, it's going to be a big wedding (200ish guests) but very DIY so hopefully won't cost too much.
Our plan is to hire a village hall (found one near the sea) with outdoor space, and put up marquees - got a 12m by 6m for £150 off ebay. Village Halls tend to have large kitchens/men's & women's toilets/tables/chairs etc so have the basics you need, and cost about £80 a day!
Buy any equipment you need second hand off ebay/FB/car boots etc - fridges/freezers/marquees/food warmers/led lights etc - you can then get your money back afterwards.
France / supermarket offers for the booze. Keep it cool in containers full of icy water. Food can be made in bulk in advance, and frozen, then defrosted the day before and either warmed up or cooked fresh on the day. We're hiring a few people to work a few hours on a BBQ and in the kitchen for us (we're not doing a sit down meal, it's a casual food & drink all day type affair) as well as restocking buffet/drinks etc.
Silent disco is cheap for entertainment (cheaper than a DJ/band etc) and won't upset any neighbours. I'm making the main bar and any decorations from wood got for free from a local skip hire place.
Friends are kindly doing our photography for us.
Basically, think of what you want from the day, then work out if there's a way you can do it yourself cheaper (in advance, so you're not stressing on the day) - Cooking/preparing the food yourself in advance and freezing it is way cheaper than caterers, plus you can have a lot more variety.
My budget wasn't helped by the ex deciding AFTER we'd put a deposit on a venue that it just wasn't right.
Wish we'd got married in a registry office then had a cheap party (with the people I'd wanted to invite but she didn't want there on the day..) for a grand followed by a more expensive honeymoon.
It is an industry, you should be putting the money away for your life together not some expensive party you feel you've got to have. It doesn't have to be super pricey to have loads of people.
£6k wasn't a huge amount compared to some, and was funded by our parents, but at the end of the day there was a lot of superfluous crap that we could have avoided paying for if she was capable of acting like an adult/if she had wanted to be married rather than have a wedding. (Oh and planning the wedding was the beginning of the end of our relationship.).
Good luck!
We bought charity pin badges for our favours.
WTF are favours?
I've been to some very expensive weddings and I don't like them. Ostentatious BS. And knowing that someone is either spending their life savings or getting themselves into debt because of their vanity makes me sad and has changed my view of some of the couples.
Conversly, once of the easiest, most relaxed weddings was of a friend who is loaded (lawyer). Church, then a walk through the Englisch Garten in Munich to the venue. Only real downside was the venue had Paulaner beer, but the wine was good.
WTF are favours?
Little token gifts for each guest.
By and large NO ONE in the UK will tell you what they really earn, NO ONE
9k I earned last year
I hear Plimuff is cheap for muff to ply but bills start adding up if wanting a fancier doo like with special requests of cake and photographers.
ooopps wrong thread 😬
🤣
Keep the cost down by not inviting anyone on the "We really should invite great aunt Nelly" list. Or anyone your family thinks you should invite. Sod em, it's your day.
We had a couple of potentially tricky family pressure points to deal with (we weren't paying) that we handled by dishing out evening only invites. Best one was a 2nd cousin who (directly) applied a bit of pressure for her invite. She was somewhat taken aback when I reminded her that I wasn't invited to any of her wedding at all some 15 years previously and indeed had picked up my folks and my sister from her evening party and driven them home (so I was at least 17 and was in the area at the time).
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Anyway, it turned out she wasn't willing to fly half way around the world for an evening only invite 😀
Another £10 saved...
Over the years I have observed that the length of the marriage is inversely proportionate to the amount spent on the wedding.
If only I had known this when I was a lad. My wedding cost 10 shillings and sixpence.