[Closed] Office nonsense

An iPad for a leaving present?

I hope it's either a very big office or someone that's been there for a very long time!

Tell em to bollox.

8 years. General employee. Maybe 100-ish employees here.

Office collections got out of control at my last place, they even had a whip round for a girl who'd passed her driving test.

when it gets back to you, withdraw the amount that you originally put in.

not theft because it was your money.

a iPad? **** me, I didn't even get a mousepad when I left my last job!

Office collections got out of control at my last place, they even had a whip round for a girl who'd passed her driving test.

Our in-team stuff got out of hand too so I put a stop to it. It was a tenner a time for birthdays/ engagements/ weddings/ new homes. Some months you were stumping up £50 for people 😯

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TBH if someone is leaving of their own accord, for a better job / more pay, unless its a close acquaintence I reckon they can get stuffed.

Retirement / maternity / redundancy I'm more than happy to contribute.

(Left my previous job a couple of months ago, got a case of cider which I was delighted with, probably £40 quids worth from 3 offices / 60 people - half of which are on notice now)

I hope you chucked in a hand full of copper

Threads like this make me glad that i've always been self employed! I don't think that i'd flourish in an office environment!

I don't really get this either. I've always been self-employed/freelance so have always avoided this. I'm now regularly asked to put in for collections for people in other departments, I've never met, or even knew existed. Normally its people going off on maternity leave. You're buying her a present? she'll be back in 6 months?

Luckily I'm in a department with someone who's the very dictionary definition of a grumpy old man. He sends them packing in the bluntest way possible, without the need of my involvement. They've stopped bothering asking now. Result! 😀

Obligatory gift-giving? Ten quid? The mind boggles.

I'll donate to collections based on who they are. If a "friend" is leaving then I'll put in a decent amount, if I've never heard of them then I'll scrape a few coppers together or just decline.

The first time I "have" to donate will be the last time I donate, voluntarily or otherwise.

That's class.

Back in the bank, my old team was disbanded over the course of 6 months. It took weeks of leaving collections for me to realise that I was going to be the last to leave, therefore, I was going to end up putting a fiver into about 40 collections, but by the time I left there'd be nobody else there so I'd only get a fiver in mine 😆

That's terrible and not what I'd describe as pukka at all.

"if you haven't already put money in, do it"

Last time I worked in a close office environment, they would just send cards around. If it was someone I didn't know, I didn't sign. I felt rather embarrassed when people I didn't know or care about signed my own card.

alfabus - Member
when it gets back to you, withdraw the amount that you originally put in.

not theft because it was your money.

😆

We normally have that when someone goes. A card goes round and people throw money in. Generally, the amount of cash is proportional to the degree of knowing them/working with them, or seniority. I'm not sure that we've ever collected enough for an iPad for anyone leaving, ever and I don't think any of the organisers would ever have the stones to put out the envelope for a second collection. That's a bit on the nose.

Whenever I have a bad day at work I try to think of whether I'd get a decent leaving collection. I've been here nearly 9 years and know a lot of people here. Mind you, a lot of them would be glad to see me leave.

In our office people are welcome to pass round as many envelopes as they wish

[i]Some months you were stumping up £50 for people[/i]

I always put some cash in the envelope. But 100 events in a month? Wow!

They'd have to get past the hounds to put an envelope on my desk

At the last place I worked, the card/collection system seemed to work on a lame office hierarchy system.

1) Busty PA to the MD got a card on her birthday, a card/collection when she got engaged & a card/collection when she got married. The 'admin woman who does nothing' must have bought her 'wedding collection' around about 4x per day at one point.
2) Any admin/accounts/marketing person that left would get a card & a collection that would start up to 3 weeks before they left & be circulated on a daily basis.
3) The engineers would get nothing arranged, unless one of them took the initiative.

All other collections were arranged through admin/hr but the end department were seen like a parasitic insect on the ass of the company & were pretty much Ignored.

When I left, a colleague deliberately went over the top & circulated my leaving card as often as he could. I was well chuffed, as they got me a £70 Amazon voucher that paid almost entirely for a 50mm 1.8 lens.

Oh yeah... I used to work in a bank of scotland branch, at about the time the company started to disintegrate. Our regional manager quit to spend more time with his mistress, and so we had a whipround.

My branch managed a counterfeit 10p, a Bank of Scotland branded shirt button, an M8 washer, a smartie, a czech koruna, an antidepressant tablet, and a condom (opened). Nice to let people know they are appreciated.

An iPad? I would be upset

Sent from my Note 10.1

My branch managed a counterfeit 10p, a Bank of Scotland branded shirt button, an M8 washer, a smartie, a czech koruna, an antidepressant tablet, and a condom (opened).

You sure that wasn't just the result of one person emptying their pockets after an epic night out?

I stopped getting involved at my last company. 200 people and there was a whip round for:

- birthdays
- weddings
- kids being born
- leaving dos

then there was secret santa and the like. Looking at something like 250 whip rounds a year so more or less one a day.

In my team I got them to agree that if we were all going to donate to each other, each time it was someone elses birthday, put a fiver in your own draw. When it was your birthday, take it all out of your own draw as it's the same thing.

not theft because it was your money.

iPad for a leaving prezzie is nuts. In the unlikely event that I ended up with one like that, or in one of the occasional prize draws, it would remain shrink wrapped for ever.

Fortunately around here it's mostly just cards and maybe a fiver for important events (retirement, marriage, first born), and sometimes some cake or something.

And then there is sponsorships! especially peoples bloody kids!

yes it is theft because you have given the money to someone else and it is no longer your property

yeah, but then they gave it back 🙂

or, looked at another way, they invited you to reconsider the amount that you donated 😉

FWIW, when I left my last company, I got a £50 wiggle voucher (10 people in the office, was well chuffed with that! thanks guys!)

Dave

The great Eric Morecambe knew how to deal with the handed around envelope

I sincerely hope and fully expect to get nothing if I ever leave. Thats is becuase the relationships in our office are:

a) You're in the lick-ass group trying to get promoted
b) You're accepted into the "social" group with the good looking yet fake personility ridden bints.
c) You just turn up for work and get paid and hope someone notices your effort and does something about it.

I'm in category C and hope to stay there. I was in B) but self exited as I couldn't bear the fakeness of it all, and am not good enough politically speaking for a).

I like to think that if I actually left/got fired, no one would actually notice.

@Binners.

Get with the times, Granddad.

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If I've not worked with them and/or they're an eejit, my money stays put. I left my last job after 10 years and specifically stated "no leaving card etc, thanks". I can't be doing with all that. A few beers with those that count (that's not the finance department) and I'll be on my way. You end up keeping in touch with people that matter to you. All the rest is just noise.

I am happy to put some money if it is someone I know but a while back there was a ridiculous situation where a collection went round for somebody who had just had a baby. I am fine with that but I had never met the woman as I had just started and she had gone on maternity leave before I arrived. The collector was quite miffed when I and another new guy declined to contribute.

weirdo office workers

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My branch managed a counterfeit 10p, a Bank of Scotland branded shirt button, an M8 washer, a smartie, a czech koruna, an antidepressant tablet, and a condom (opened).

Made me chuckle. Years ago (in the 70s!) I was given a pack of cheese sandwiches about 2 weeks past use by date and a packet of condoms when I left a job. To be fair, they [i]were[/i] in a lovely leather attache case (which I still Have)!

Personally, I'll give if I know them and an amount depending on how well I get on with them.

cough up

I am working as a contractor at the moment and I still do not manage to avoid the requests, just have no problem with declining them.

I have theorised in the past that large organisations will eventually grind to a poverty stricken halt due to these collections.

Working on the basis that your average collection requires a fiver and your average worker takes home about £2k per month, there would only need to be 400 collections per month for the poor employee to net £0 per month and keep his conscience in tact.

Assuming that each employee has an average tenure of 5 years during which time we can assume that they have 5 birthdays, 1 child, 1 wedding, 2 accidents and a leaving do, we can safely* assume that your average employee has 2 collections per year.

Gathering all of this very scientifically calculated data together we can therefore hypothesise that:

2000 (average monthly takehome) / 5 = 400
1 Employee = 2 collections per year
2 / 12 = 0.16666666666 (individual monthly collections per person)
400 / 0.166666666666 = 2400

I am therefore able to declare any company over 2400 people to be fundamentally unworkable assuming that the idiotic, well meaning strangers get their way.

*in accordance with my back-of-a-fag-packet calculations

Northwind - Member
That's class.

Back in the bank, my old team was disbanded over the course of 6 months. It took weeks of leaving collections for me to realise that I was going to be the last to leave, therefore, I was going to end up putting a fiver into about 40 collections, but by the time I left there'd be nobody else there so I'd only get a fiver in mine

you worked in a bank with maths like that? with nobody else there you get no money in yours 😀

Birthdays is frigging ludicrous - I've only ever given to births, marriages and (career)deaths.... and then only people I know and like.

you worked in a bank with maths like that? with nobody else there you get no money in yours

Not if he put a fiver into his own collection.

Not if he put a fiver into his own collection.

"For me? You shouldn't have!"

I donated 40p by the way

cranberry - Member

Not if he put a fiver into his own collection.

[img] http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ5WVVfEXkTfOpa89rlcwDSL6832otySCSSdrAxQLqtx60V6UY391fTycb7iA [/img]

we do secret santa in our office, but leading up to this years barrage of badly wrapped, generally crap but often hilarious presents my colleagues who organize it have decided that the old limit of £5 per person is now insufficient - apparently too many 'not serious' and 'cheap' presents were bought last year which 'weren't in the spirit of christmas'. now they want to up it to £25 a person. not meaning to sound a scrooge but £25 - WTF?! i've told em to eff off or i'll just sacrifice the shite present to save myself the bother and the cash

Some of the annoying yummy mummies at my kid's school have got into the habit of doing whip rounds for the teacher at the end of the school year. I have no problem with a few quid for a bottle of wine and box of chocolates, but they were shooting for an iPad this year! He wasn't leaving or anything and my boy told me he spends most of his time watching antiques roadshow on iPlayer during lessons.

I don't know if he got it or not, not on the basis of my contribution that's for sure

Surely the teachers can't accept gifts, I thought there were strict rules about this.
EDIT: A quick Google says paying for preferential treatment is acceptable.

edit

now they want to up it to £25 a person.

😯

We do a tenner but this year we've agreed to donate £5 to charity and spend £5 on the present

I am working as a contractor at the moment and I still do not manage to avoid the requests, just have no problem with declining them.

I have theorised in the past that large organisations will eventually grind to a poverty stricken halt due to these collections.

Working on the basis that your average collection requires a fiver and your average worker takes home about £2k per month, there would only need to be 400 collections per month for the poor employee to net £0 per month and keep his conscience in tact.

Assuming that each employee has an average tenure of 5 years during which time we can assume that they have 5 birthdays, 1 child, 1 wedding, 2 accidents and a leaving do, we can safely* assume that your average employee has 2 collections per year.

Gathering all of this very scientifically calculated data together we can therefore hypothesise that:

2000 (average monthly takehome) / 5 = 400
1 Employee = 2 collections per year
2 / 12 = 0.16666666666 (individual monthly collections per person)
400 / 0.166666666666 = 2400

I am therefore able to declare any company over 2400 people to be fundamentally unworkable assuming that the idiotic, well meaning strangers get their way.

*in accordance with my back-of-a-fag-packet calculations

You fail to account for the £5 x 2400 = £12,000 gift that each employee receives on average twice per year, giving them a total gifted (and therefore untaxed) income of £24,000 per annum.