[Closed] Nissan Juke

and yet utterly grim

I like 'em 🙁

like a BMW X6 for the transformers generation IMO

Piccy of one on this thread

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/towbar-mounted-bike-carrier-advice-please

They only called it Juke because BMW already had Puke registered. Few cars make me feel physically bilious to look at, but this one is truly wrong; particularly from the front.

I like the fact that they are a high vehicle. Good for getting the kids in and out of their baby seats.

And you get a lot of kit as standard and it is not a Clio.

awful looking thing reminds me of that 2 seater vitara from a few years back - yeuch - i agree they are selling fast though

it is not a Clio

Ah, that makes all the difference as I imagine no other cars are not a clio??

What can I say? I like 'em, you don't.

So which Renault is it based on then?
I imagine it's a car perfectly suited to Cheshire.

Revolting, look like a cut n shut of two completely different models

It's grown on me. Quite love 'em now.

If only it had an 'E' prefix for those in the know.

I find an 10 year old Almera more appealing.

The way car design is going, I struggle to imagine what car I'll be willing to purchase at about 5 years old when the current one expires.

Yeah they're pretty cool, cheap too.

The are ugly as sin, but I applaud nissan for making it, there are too many dull cars about.

The Nissan Cube is excellent IMO.

It looks like an abortion from the Nissan spare parts bin.

It's a great looking little thng. Bet it's fuel efficient. Nice elevated driving position without being a mahoosive 4x4. Probably good fun to drive. Looks a bit different.

Jeez...

..coming from a forum that mostly recommends Mondeos and Skoda 🙄

Looks like nissan have decided to make a modern version of the allegro. Tis bloody awful looking.

Looks ok to me but then again, I don't have my head up my arse when it comes to car image 😉

i'd have one if i could afford the 4x4 version

They are based on the Renault Koleos, which is a car that is bland to the point of invisibilty.

I would rather go with the invisible option rather than making dogs sick and small children cry. Not for me; I can't find an angle it looks right from.

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It's a mini crossover type thing, people like those so if you want a small one then not much else to go for, drives well too I hear.

I would doubt if it would be based on the old Renault Koleos, because this in turn is based on the Nissan X trail.

I'd reckon it would be based on a smaller chassis like the Note or the Clio chassis.

Flashy, you often recommend Volvos don't you?

I rest my case.

(in other words, WTF would you know?!?)

Looks funky to me.
Too many bland cars about at the moment.
Nothing wrong with shaking things up a bit.

i thought it was hilarious the other day. Chap in a nissan juke kept trying to overtake me on a single lane road in a 40. As soon as it turned to a derestrict road, i put my foot down and he couldn't keep up.

Not only are they ugly as hell, they're slow to boot.

Hey yeah that's funny.

Hilarious.

Wow. Yu da man Anto. Bet that Juke driver's still crying into his brand new upholstery. Wat wheelz ya got dood?

As soon as it turned to a derestrict road, i put my foot down and he couldn't keep up

What, it doesn't do 60mph?

Nissan driver slates Volvo driver shocker 😯

I scrapped this two weeks ago, it did 120 thousand miles in the last 5 years of its life for a grand total of 182 thousand miles, and never broke down in those last 5 years. On its original clutch and wheel bearings.

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(I realise this car is ugly as sin but it wasn't born this ugly, like a Juke).

A Nissan Juke will probably go the way of previous generation Nissans - don't confuse Nissan with a decent eastern brand like Honda. Disposable, in the way quality cars aren't. Plus they are now uglier than before. Most will be scrapped by 12 years old because of unreliability and crap residuals.

I reckon Nissan Jukes are just the sort of car bought by folk who know little about cars. Probably on finance up to their eyeballs also, living on an identikit housing estate. Dull.

Where did a Nissan driver slate a Volvo driver Waderider? Any evidence or stats to back up your ridiculous slating and generalisations of drivers of cars you deem to be not to your high standards? No? Yeah, thought not.

And, it might have been reliable, but that blue thing [i]was[/i] born ugly.

Hah, I SOLD my VW with more miles than that for £700 🙂

I reckon Nissan Jukes are just the sort of car bought by folk who know little about cars. Probably on finance up to their eyeballs also, living on an identikit housing estate. Dull

Don't be such a pillock!

I'm just happy I don't drive a Nissan. Especially a Juke 😀

This website specialises in sweeping generalisations, so I'm joining in.

And insults, as have just appeared, again 😥

*Edit - the Volkswagon wasn't 17 years old now, was it?*

Nissan Juke is the worst looking car since Toyota did that hideous RAV4 thing with a mock pickup back. In 10 years time thankfully they will have gone the same way as Fiat Multiplas (actually nice in a fugly way) and old citroens.
Cheap crap cars for people with no dicerning taste.
I have two Volvos, and one of them only needed a part changining (cambelt tensioner) because Ford made them spec it to last 80k miles. IF I had a slightly older XC90 then the volvo part was built for life.

I'm sure you're not a pillock in real life Waderider but you were in your post. I'd rather drive a new micro than that Volvo. My F reg Saab did around 30000 more miles. Now, that was a looker.

EDIT: micro? Micro?!?!? damn auto correct. Micra.

Is there something you sign when you buy a Volvo to declare you will now be highly sensitive and derisive of drivers of funky youthful cars?

Not a fan of SAAB. Anything post 1995 is really based on GM technology and has been well behing the other major brands.
My old F reg 900 was built like a tank, but had all the performance, poise and elegance of a russian tank factory worker, and drank like one too.
Still it was gold and was quirky.

Mine was white, also F reg and had a blistering 8v turbo. See? You [i]have[/i] demonstrated good taste. 🙂

Darcy...yes theres a contract sewn inside the tongue of our slippers!

I am slightly unusual in buying cars as I do all my own repair work and serviceing, so I get an appreciation for the build quality as well as the more obvious attributes.

Volvos are well screwed together, nice to work on and made from quality components. Aesthetics is personal!

Still that Juke is uglier than your moms ugly friend!

My mom's friends were all quite fit. One 😉 in particular. Oooh...Mrs O'Donoghue.

Mine was the basic 2 litre non turbo. It was as slow as hell, and the gear shift was very well spaced out. I sold it in 1999 for the only ever Ford I owned as it had started to rust behind the front wheel arches.
The ford was a 1998 fiesta zetec. That car has put me off fords for life. Exhaust rusted in 2 years, brakes siezed and it started to rust.

My 13 year old V40 is still on its first exhaust after 166000 miles!

Everyone has an ugly friend they hang out with....unless....no cant be.

Will someone post a picture of that Juke up so we can revel in its uglyness.

god damn phugly!
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F*** that is ugly! Who would buy that?!

Nah, kinda cool and funky. Youthful. Modern. Maybe that's why you guys don't like it? That's ok, they're still making Octavias.

Nah, kinda cool and funky. Youthful. Modern. Maybe that's why you guys don't like it? That's ok, they're still making Octavias.

I take it you dress like this then? - betcha a fiver they wouldn't be seen dead in it either 😉

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I'd never get away with looking like them. I'm too fat. I can, however, appreciate that things move on. There's plenty of stuff around for those who can't. So, don't worry too much about it.

I was behind one in town the other evening in that snot green colour & its going to be so easy to put a little extra line on the badge to change it 😉

Would you do that yourself then? Or maybe sit back, hope someone else is courageous enough, and have a good old chuckle?

Have you just ordered one deadly 😛

I don't think you have to be really brave to stick a tiny bit of silver plastic to the back of a car, do you?

I don't know MrOvershoot. Will you be doing it? Or are you hoping someone else does?

Me order one? Hell no! Far too funky and youthful for the likes of me. 🙂

You see Darcy, If you are NOT young and trendy then you really don't know.
For me the Nissan JOKE is like the dads tshirt aisle in ASDA, ill designed poor quality tat with a vague attempt at youthfulness, designed to sell to fat pizza eaters to play their Kerry catona CD's in.

(actually I am a fat pizza eater, and even I don't like that damn car).

The concept isn't a bad one, it just looks so badly resolved. What did they have in mind when they did the front lights and air intakes? It looks like the product of photoshop and LSD. Might have seemed a good idea at the time, but in the morning?

That's apart from the fact that it will do absolutey everything worse than a similarly sized hatchback (apart from driving position). Worse for space, economy, handling, excelleration, safety of other road users...

Just for reasons of scientific rigour, I have enlisted the help of the youths in the house.
Sample size of two, responses. were..... super uncool, and "dad that thing is ugly"
The very youthful and stylish mrs HB also hates it and thinks it's the kind of thing that would never impress a girl.

So there you go. Buy a juke of you want your children to hate you and your sex life to shrivel up to zilch.

Volvos however...built like tanks and just crying out to be filled with children and dogs.

I'm quite pleased with my night's trolling

Or the realisation of having to admit you have no automotive taste.

Or the realisation of having to admit you have no automotive taste.

Taste? Seriously...it's a car.

No, honestly, far more fun winding up people who get sand in their knickers over a car they like. Almost too easy on STW. 😉

Sex life? Be serious now, have any of you ever got laid on account of your car?

Looks like it was designed by 20 people who couldn't see what the others were doing.

I'm sure you're not a pillock in real life Waderider but you were in your post

How ironic.

The thing that grates with this (although not as much as the Qashqai(?)) is the advertising making out that driving round town clogging up the roads is actually some sort of extreme urban battlefield that you need an oversized car to survive. Might sound stupid but all this stuff leaches in and people start to think that way, IMO anyway.

Also, it's pretty ugly.

At least crossovers are more appropriate for most than SUVs/4x4s.

Darcy, me thinks you overestimate you ability to wind up.
Molgrips, modesty prevents me answering! But back then just having a car was enough. Doubt an Austin Metro would work these days.

More pics of the Nissan PUKE please!

(It's a shame its gopping as it is made in the UK).

I would have to reconsider any bedding propositions if a date had that Juke as his pride and joy - unless he could give me serious reasons as to why. It's an improbable scenario anyway as nobody my age would be likely to have one.

QED.

How ironic.

In what way, or are you just too clever for us all? You are, aren't you? Your ridiculous assertions about people that drive certain cars, their lifestyles and their living circumstances were really just some kind of post-modern ironic treatise. Wasn't it?

Darcy, me thinks you overestimate you ability to wind up.

I probably am. You're still going though aren't you.

A good car but a bit try hard at the moment. The world will be ready for it after its first facelift.

personally would have preferred a modernised cube but anything different is good.

Cube - is Nissan that make those too? I like 'em. Very funky.
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Very funky.

Indeed. Mind out now, they're a bit different and modern. 🙂

Does one still have to import them specially? I'd love a van version for work.

I like the cube too, although I wouldn't buy one, mainly as I have no need for one.

The cube is nice in a weird minimalistic way. The other car that makes me smile is the KIA soul. ever since a friend pointed out to me that it's name sounds like key arsehole.

So....more pics of the juke? anyone own one?

Key arsehole. Yeah, never thought of that. That's hilarious.

I really like them, spotted one in white the other day, alloys, tow bar for a bike rack. Looks like the perfect upgrade from my current car.

Saying that i current drive a C2 vtr, and the lads at work take the pee as its an odd looking car, so the juke is just more grown up of what i have, a quirky car.

Its the modern day Suzuki x90, or the car built for Homer.
Fell out of the ugly tree; smacked all the branches; hit the trampoline and did it all again!