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Just recently had the misfortune of discovering that a family member has spent their way through 90% of their parents' money, involving hundreds of thousands of pounds. Seeking an explanation for their self-obsessed, grasping, neglectful, contemptuous attitudes and behaviour I came across descriptions of 'narcissistic personality disorder' online and the scales fell from my eyes. I had been observing (and 'tolerating') this behaviour for years. Anyway, I was on the phone to an old friend yesterday only to discover he had a family member who is doing exactly the same. I'm beginning to wonder if this is quite a common phenomenon and whether other people should be more diligent by being aware of this condition and in constraining family members before the rest of their family is disinherited.
The symptoms: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Yes. IME one resides in every family. My half brother extols the same traits. He is a male genitalia. He won't change, I nor anyone else will change him, so I have nothing to do with him and have worked hard to move on, harbour no resentment, anger or hate towards him and at the very least pity him. I'm not quite at the full forgiveness towards him yet, but I live and breathe easier by letting it go.
It's more common than you think, but not always easy to detect. For example, the person may be fairly quiet rather than boasting all the time, but still have a hugely inflated sense of self-importance.
Pity is another form of arrogance. Narciccism is so common, it's almost like 'our' culture encourages/promotes it.
That description is, unfortunately, spot on for someone that I know.
Otherwise known as Big Hitters. 😆
I thought this thread was going to be about Tony Blair!
Would agree with the above comments though. I think our current cultural climate tends to encourage and normalise selfish individualism, rather than consideration for others. Couple this apparent social permission to be a selfish turd with an underlying predisposition and you've got problems...
My sister managed to syphon away most of my Mum's money when she was too old and senile to notice. I wouldn't intellectualize it by giving it a fancy name though, she's just a thieving cow...
I wouldn't intellectualize it by giving it a fancy name though
This is a really good point. The thieving sod / cow can always try to claim diminished responsibility by saying they are afflicted by "narcissistic personality disorder".
Oddly(?), it's a condition that people don't own up to or hide behind, they actually think they are Masters of the Universe and behave accordingly.