[Closed] MyHermes: Divide by Zero

Latest MH delivery helpfully thrown over the garden fence in the rain today. Why is it always delivered like this when it rains?

Why is it always delivered like this [s]when it rains[/s]?

FTFY. (-:

They have to be stealing them! being that incompetent would be too much effort! The only guarantee is they will lie about it!

If you are a MyHermes driver a good way to decide what to steal/bin is to look and see if your last drop is miles away and likely to involve rush hour traffic.
at least an hour of your time plus the diesel means those deliveries are just not worth making.

I'm away for a couple of days and an expensive bottle of perfume for the OH has also been lost, I had no notification of its posting and have since found out it's been 'signed for by the purchaser', it will not be there when I get back tomorrow 😥

MyHermes have cost me £180 so far this December.

£180?

That ain’t no Old Spice Pour Femme.

With a bit of effort you should be able to get to £500 + VAT by Christmas.

Sounds like time to test the insurance claims process OP! I wonder what manner of fun that may entail?!

I actually changed my buying on something else as I found out the retailer used Hermes otherwise the total losses would start to creep up.
Maybe Hermes will end up like the Daily Mail and businesses will take their custom elsewhere.

I'm away for a couple of days and an expensive bottle of perfume for the OH has also been lost

Hooky perfume is rife, use a shop.

[quote=DanW ]Sounds like time to test the insurance claims process OP! I wonder what manner of fun that may entail?!

Can you imagine? A fresh, new hell.

I have an ominous Hermes update on a parcel today yesterday it was out for delivery now it's back to "sorted at regional depot" and the out for delivery bit with yesterday date has disappeared....

My parcel is still at the parcel shop awaiting collection so I've just been on live chat. They've advised I 'wait a little longer for the tracking to be updated', with no explanation why it's not been picked up.

Waiting, patiently at home studying barley grains. I also have a big box of sex toys getting delivered and a Shimano action cam (not linked.... though, thinking about it - the Shimano cam can be activated by ANT+ i.e. record over a certain heart rate...Hmmm)

It's with the local courier according to tracking. X

Hooky perfume is rife, use a shop.

I suggest the OP gives out his address and we all send him a package

I would definitely be up for this! Empty box, large as possible to the OP!

And so it begins again.

Today 13:12
Expected to deliver tomorrow

Today 10:39
With the local courier

Today 07:10
Sorted at regional depot

Yesterday 13:25
We missed you - we'll try again tomorrow
more info

Yesterday 10:58
With the local courier

Yesterday 07:11
Sorted at regional depot

My CRC next day delivery order is being delivered by Hermes today.
What's the chances of it turning up between 15:00 and 19:00 as per there website?

This thread is like crack cocaine. I can give up anytime, just one more day, honest. I'll give it up then, promise.

[img] [/img]

They are compulsive liars -- they cannot help themselves, its the default setting for all their problems, lie and then lie again. Come they day of reckoning they will be first against the wall 😆

pb2 - Member
They are compulsive liars -- they cannot help themselves, its the default setting for all their problems, lie and then lie again. Come they day of reckoning they will be first against the wall

Day of Reckoning 13:25
We missed you - we'll try again tomorrow

[quote=ChrisL ]pb2 - Member
They are compulsive liars -- they cannot help themselves, its the default setting for all their problems, lie and then lie again. Come they day of reckoning they will be first against the wall
Day of Reckoning 13:25
We missed you - we'll try again tomorrow

*there has been a delay*

Wait.. it says they're delivering tomorrow.
Saturday?

I've asked them about they failed delivery yesterday and for an explanation of today's "not bothering to do our job" bit.

Their normally speedy-to-respond outsourced helps guys normally get back really quickly. Been a while - I imagine there are no cut and paste answers in their playbook and you're not allowed to freestyle

ElShalimo - Member
My CRC next day delivery order is being delivered by Hermes today.
What's the chances of it turning up between 15:00 and 19:00 as per there website?

It arrived at 17:20. Phew

ive seen this episode of futurama ..... the robot devil now has your soul you realise that !

*there has been a delay*

Delay of Reckoning

Do you have a friendly neighbour? If so, why not end him/her something via MH. That way you'll know if it's personal! 😀

This is my neighbour:
[img] [/img]
Maybe he's too scared of her to come into the building?

Ah, Elaine! She's a character!

This could actually be the reason! Case closed.

Just had a peek at the tracking info again, fully expecting delivery to have been made by now...

"delay"

...this is beyond silly now.

Can guarantee I will not use Hermes in future.

From personal experience I know that access to some tenement buildings can be a pain in the arse (usually EH11 in my case), but it doesn't excuse this in the slightest.

I get deliveries from all other courier companies without any major issues.
They normally try the actual 3 times, leave cards (even just through the door on the street if they can't get in to the building) and have alternative options for me (as receiver) like pickup at depot/parcel shop etc

@yourguitarhero

Are we still waiting for the return of the schroedingers parcel? Have I missed something while I was out?

I fear this thread will not deliver

if ever a meme...

[img] [/img]

Jamie he didn't state the bottle size.
[url= https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4684/27177161359_3d25969ab4.jp g" target="_blank">https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4684/27177161359_3d25969ab4.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/Hpy4ez ]Old Spice[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/mycams/ ]Mike Hams[/url], on Flickr

I've had a delivery today, it arrived at around 14.30. Strangely the tracking email I got earlier today states that the delivery at 10.44 and even has (in the most basic scrawl) a signature.

I can only assume they're been scanned and signed delivered in preparation for a quick chuck over the back gate in case the door is not answered in 10 seconds flat.

The track info is no longer available on the My Hetpes site!

Please don't say this saga has died a quiet death in the forgotten dusty corner on the interwebz?

Sadly for OP, My MyHermes parcel to Edinburgh has been marked as delivered...

Whether that means delivered into a canal, I don't know yet. 🙂

Well, it hasn't been delivered to my house.

I've emailed again. They are just ignoring. Will try live chat tomorrow.

They are nothing if not reliable liars

8 pages about a missed parcel?

DT78 - Member
8 pages about a missed parcel?

8 pages about a *non-existent* parcel, more like! 😉

There's a whole Xmas special episode of Watchdog right here.

Ok team. An update!
My parcel was too big to fit in the original drivers vehicle (10*10*5cm - the parcel, not his vehicle) so they've given it to a different driver with a bigger vehicle...
The nice man on live chat couldn't explain the size or the original driver having had it in his van to "attempt delivery".
But he did promise (and I made him explicitly type that out) that the parcel would be delivered in 1-2 days.

An hour later I got an email with a new tracking number saying delivery would be in 5 working days....

New tracking (amalgamated with old tracking): https://www.myhermes.co.uk/tracking-results.html?trackingNumber=5726382099786659

Supposedly they tried to deliver 3 times over the weekend. Hmmmm.

Can you see what I mean when, at the start of the thread, I said that I find it very difficult to get MyHermes to bring parcels to my house?

Brilliant stuff!

Just answer the door!!

C'mon you can do it!!
They've tried so many times and with our help you can do this.
Just take delivery of the parcel..
I believe in you

[i]My parcel was too big to fit in the original drivers vehicle (10*10*5cm - the parcel, not his vehicle) so they've given it to a different driver with a bigger vehicle...[/i][u]

They put bigger parcels in their jacket pockets 🙄

So I'm only £20 down after the me and the eBay seller split our losses on the lost parcel after they refunded the delivery cost (annoyingly he didn't insure)
I'm not as pissed off as I might be as on the same day I bought my old man an out of print book on the SR-71 blackbird for £6:90 on eBay, it retails for $250 on amazon 😀

From now on I check/ask what courier retailers use and will never buy from those that use MyHermes, hopefully this thread will be a permanent reminder as to how crap they are.

The only other parcel issue I have had was when a label rubbed off one parcel on to mine in the depot and I got 5 handheld card readers instead of a pair of speakers, I got to speak to somebody and they tracked down where it happened and collected the wrong parcel and delivered the right one 2 days later (was DHL I think)

As a counterpoint, I had 2 myhermes deliveries this week. I guess it really is about the last step of the journey, as my delivery lady is really good.

Just a thought, maybe the data my heroes use to locate your property could be wrong? Seems unlikely as other companies find you ok. I believe most companies buy the data from the post office. Might be worth asking if you haven't.

Still, 9 pages about a missed parcel

Time to send someone who GAF (if you can find someone) A link to this thread.

I reckon there will be some loophole with the compensation, you probably aren't the only person in your area with this problem and the culprit needs to be stopped.

Just a thought, [b]maybe the data my heroes use[/b] to locate your property could be wrong? Seems unlikely as other companies find you ok. I believe most companies buy the data from the post office. Might be worth asking if you haven't.

Still, 9 pages about a missed parcel

Spot the MyHermes shill.

I've had a delivery off them once, a few years back.
Have lived here for many many years

Can you see what I mean when, at the start of the thread, I said that I find it very difficult to get MyHermes to bring parcels to my house

Sort of 😆

Approach the Chief Exec direct - he/she probably doesn't know there's an issue so allows them to try and resolve ala Undercover Boss.
Before doing that though we need you to test the compensation process with a series of expensive parcels as I really want you to meet the driver (yourself/your twin/your ex). One a day for a week should do it, cheers.
Great thread.

Have you actually claimed compensation? Stop ****ing about, send yourself a parcel insured for £500 and get claiming.

Surely you've proven the point now. Either escalate to try and resolve it, or get some benefit from it.

I don't think you can trust the tracking details to be accurate either, why would the parcel go back to be sorted again after each (supposed) attempted delivery?

The whole thing stinks of everyone at MH is full of BS.

You can't claim for loss yet, as they still seem to think they know where the parcel is.

My parcel was too big to fit in the original drivers vehicle (10*10*5cm - the parcel, not his vehicle)

The Hermes guy, earlier

[img] [/img]

Today's the day....I'm sure of it!

I have one request. When (if) it’s delivered, when the chap hands it to you, open the package in front of him.

And, can I sent a dozen or so packages to you, be a nice earner for me, and I’ll even go 80/20 on the profits with you.

When OP opens the door he will see himself starting back at him, at which point this universe will cease to exist.

And we'll still not have a new forum.

why would the parcel go back to be sorted again after each (supposed) attempted delivery?

I think the "regional depot" might include the MH courier's house.....

Undelivered parcels going back to a depot at the end of the day makes sense to me for many reasons (rather than the driver hanging on to them) e.g. security, returning to sender, reallocating to another driver for the next day, rerouting to another address. Pretty sure that it is standard practice.

It won't work if someone else sends. Because they can deliver it back to you.

I'm going to see this through to the bitter end.

I've not kept fully up to date with this thread although I can see that the parcel is still in limbo.
I'm not sure if it's already been suggested but could you get some sort of spot tracker into a parcel so as well as keeping up to date with the tracking info, you could also keep a real-time track of the parcel location too?

Unbelievable performance but great reading, my local driver is absolutely brilliant, leaves things when she can, comes back several times a day if she has to and as we approach Christmas she will bend over backwards to see we get anything that she has never knew who she worked for then coincidentally she just called at lunch and I said to the wife "where is she from?", "My Hermes", so we must have one of the few good ones 🙂

I just tried to send some items back to Amazon and they used Hermes. I was told they would 'Collect next business day' which was Monday.

They didn't appear.

On Tuesday afternoon I checked online and the Amazon Returns page said Hermes had tried to collect at 12.38pm on Tuesday. They hadn't (it's an office address and there is always someone in our office + there are two more businesses in the building that could have answered the door if we had all become momentarily deaf) and no 'We have tried to collect' card was left with instructions on what to do next. The Hermes site states they would try two more times but in an online chat I was told that the collection has now been cancelled (no reason given) and they wouldn't come back out - suggesting instead that I drop it off at a collection point (don't want to do this due to the size of the parcels).

They then sent me a link to the 'request a recollection' page but it didn't recognise the codes I put in (although I could use the codes elsewhere on the site and they were recognised).

Useless bunch of idiots – I reckon they simply don't want to collect the parcel as it is a low value task with no penalties at this busy time of year.

13:26 Delivered, Customer Signature - according to tracking.

(7 minutes ago...)

Hope not

Pretty sure it's not been delivered, the universe hasn't folded into itself.

We should be good for a while yet.

It's been delivered, but... I'm not at home?

Signature says Alan (crashed scud)

Type in EH89eh when it asks you if you view Sig on tracking information.

Further mysteries!!!

This cannot be!!!

EDIT: too slow by about 20 seconds

My favourite Hermes delivery ever (on the card they put through the door they told me they hid the parcel beside the door - the same door I could only get through after tripping over the hidden parcel).

[img] [/img]

Did the signature look cynical?

Your soul now belongs to Alan.

Cynical has been to my house actually..

"crashed scan"?

What does that mean?

I WANT TO SEE HOW THIS ENDS!!!!!

Come on MyHermes, just one more try, you can doooo eeeeeet!!!

[img] [/img]

At least you now know one of you is called Alan.... and Alan/you have the handwriting of a 5yr old.

I think it says AAW. As in aaw shucks!

And according to Google Maps Streetview- I think the beggar outside Starbucks has got a newish-looking cardboard box.

Could have been worse, the OP's could have been signed for and now owned by Louise! 😈

Guys.....

[img] ?oh=6ced216cb8828aba0126ec7053fa2b8c&oe=5A8DE92B[/img]
They just left it in the stairwell.

The tracking:

[img] ?oh=5eb7e6250ec803410e6bea111064a46f&oe=5AD2682D[/img]

Well, Open it!

We're dying to see what your soul actually looks like.