I have a problem with the MyHermes driver for my area. He never delivers parcels or leaves a card, even when I'm in. MyHermes won't let you pick up from their depot so every time someone sends me a parcel with them, they end up getting it back and one or other of us ends up paying for a different company to send it to me.
I've tried complaining a few times - you can log in to their site and see your complaint history. "The field manager will speak to the driver and make sure it never happens again."
After a recent, sadly familiar interaction with them I have come up with a cunning plan.
The one thing I did notice about MyHermes is that they always manage to get the parcel back to the sender. (I'm assuming the senders' drivers aren't as rubbish as mine).
So I've just sent a parcel to myself.
What I do is check with whoever I bought from what couriers they are using. If its Hermes, Yodel or ukmail I won't buy it and I tell the company that I will pay a bit more for an effective service but won't buy if they use one of these 3 companies
Schrodingers parcel. You won’t be able to tell if it’s being delivered or returned until they open the van. I like it.
Yup - the OP may just dissolve into a fog of probabilities
It's a cunning plan, but if he wont deliver, will he not collect either?
Keep us posted!
It does seem that you are at the mercy of the end courier for MyHermes.
The lady that does the round in my area is excellent so I have no problems with using them. It seems I'm one of the lucky ones.
I'm dropping it off at the parcel shop.
I generally offer to pay a little extra to people to send things by a different courier, but sometimes I forget.
What's the plan when you get the parcel?
I mean, how will the courier know they've been subjected to this cunning and dastardly masterplan?
Will you tell them or just do a big Mwa ha ha haaaa in their face?
Well, I won't get the parcel. Just like that last 5 that have had "delivery attempts". Then Hermes will automagically return it to the sender. Which is me. So the same guy will have to deliver it.
And if he does show up then I get to give him a bollocking for all his previous **** ups.
I'm assuming they will also fail to redeliver it.
That parcel is a GONER
[quote=trail_rat ]That parcel is a GONER
I get £20 of insurance for free. Not bad for an empty cardboard box. I did write that it had my soul in it though.
They have to go somewhere, how much would it cost to fill his van?
Crowdfunded piss take anyone?
inspired. Send an insured parcel of souls every hour and retire on an acceptable hourly wage!
I did write that it had[s] my soul[/s] our souls in it
FTFY
What I do is check with whoever I bought from what couriers they are using. If its Hermes, Yodel or ukmail I won't buy it
I do the same, haven't got the time to waste finding out where my parcels have gone.
alanf - Member
Keep us posted!
No don't! We'll all end up in the upside down.
I can't practically use any other couriers but MyHermes and I've never had a problem. I've got one on their system that says it's "Active", but it was delivered months ago. Must be just mgh's driver.
Reason I can't use any others is because they're all shut when I finish work, except the MyHermes shop, which is very convenient. Location of my work and the fact that I ride to work mean it's the only option.
This is a genius idea! Bookmarked!
I get £20 of insurance for free.
If you try to claim that you will need evidence of the value of the contents, have you got evidence of the cost of your soul?
If you try to claim that you will need evidence of the value of the contents, have you got evidence of the cost of your soul?
You would have to play guitar and find the equivalent cost in lessons required to read your standard
I've got an image in my head of Schrodinger's parcel being driven along a Möbius strip in a 15 year old Astra estate now...
😆I've got an image in my head of Schrodinger's parcel being driven along a Möbius strip in a 15 year old Astra estate now...
I am liking this plan a lot. In fact I might try it myself.
Oh and Kerley and TJ +1.
tjagain - Member
What I do is check with whoever I bought from what couriers they are using. If its Hermes, Yodel or ukmail I won't buy it and I tell the company that I will pay a bit more for an effective service but won't buy if they use one of these 3 companies
Good luck with that, I have the same policy and recently paid extra for DPD to deliver something. Well they did, straight to the MyHermes depot who delivered it to me. 😆 Cheeky sods.
OP - did you upset the delivery driver one time or is your address just an arse to get to? Can't see myhermes putting up with such a driver if they did that to everyone.
It's odd the MH driver that delivers to my house has long since realised is quicker to put down the parcel outside my door and mark as delivered than to post the card through. Works for me.
... driven along a Möbius strip
What tyres for...
I expect the OP will get a card saying "we tried to deliver your parcel" before it gets picked up.
Anybody watching 'Ghosted' on ITV2? These sort of shenanigans could open up some kind of rift and end the universes as we know them, or it might just work...
What tyres for...
😆
Will I be ok on a 150mm travel FS bike?
I am willing to send an empty parcel to OP to see if it arrives.
It won't.
That has been established.
But what happens when they return to the sender they won't deliver to?
I reckon the driver will cotton on that sender and receiver are the same and deliver *only* this one parcel to you, ever.
[quote=wwaswas ]I reckon the driver will cotton on that sender and receiver are the same and deliver *only* this one parcel to you, ever.
i bet the box won't be empty either...
It won't.
That has been established.
I don't care about that, I just want to make work for someone - that's worth the £2.99 it would cost me 😆
Is it just that that think the per item price doesn't justify the extra driving to your remote location?
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In the centre of a capital city?
Not particularly remote. Though I guess their "Edinburgh depot" is closer to Glasgow
what about posting a GPS tracker to yourself?
Requires a little more investment but could be interesting.
At least if this one goes missing you can call the police as you are now the sender.
At least if this one goes missing you can call the police as you are now the sender.
I've just had a moment's sympathy for the call centre staff when he calls to complain he's not received his parcel...
it used to be quite a common way of establishing ownership of ideas and similar things
Hermes are able to deliver to my house, often before I leave for work.
They are completely incapable of delivering to my work yard, just the other side of the town between the two places.
You should have posted yourself a ripe camembert - give the driver an incentive to deliver it...
hah - I had a "delivery" from Yodel which, according to their tracking website, was delivered to my address and signed for. There was no-one in, and when I got home no delivery or note. Called the depot, got to speak to the driver. where's the parcel? don't know. what was the number of the house you left it at? don't know. what colour was the door? don't know. and the best bits - who signed for it? don't know were they male or female? want to guess the answer?
If I'm buying on line, I ask who the courier ids and if it's Yodel, I tell them not to bother.
Hermes deliveries are odd. Around here, larger items are delivered by a bloke in a van during office hours. He just flings the item somewhere near the house and legs it. He doesn't even bother with a card through the door so unless you happen to look in a flower bed or behind the bin, the parcel could sit there for a week.
Smaller stuff or stuff sent via parcelshop seems to be delivered by a lady in a car, she works around her kids school run times so often delivers the parcels early in the morning or early evening when we are actually at home. If we aren't home, she always leaves it with a neighbour or somewhere sensible with a card through the door.
Yodel on the other hand! If I see an email to say dispatched via Yodel, I know it will take a week, involve 3 phone calls and more than likely a walk around the neighbourhood in the hope of finding the parcel.
The Hermes driver for our area insists on leaving the parcels In out recycling bin that lives outside our front door, the problem being we have very good local binmen who come come and get said bin on collection day, it;s only a matter of time before the inevitable happens...
OP, I do hope it was a really really big empty box?
Awesome idea. Assuming you manage to collect on the insurance I would definitely do it again, repeatedly.
I use Collect Plus as items are delivered to a store rather than dumped somewhere in the neighbourhood.
DezB - MemberI've got one on their system that says it's "Active", but it was delivered months ago. Must be just mgh's driver
I've got a bunch of those, I've raised it a few times with the helpdesk and always get an answer along the lines of "that's not right is it? Weird!"
Just had a look and I'm up to 1300 delivered and 3 real fails- 2 lost parcels and one damaged when the courier threw it over a fence. So I reckon the solution is for me to post something to Yourguitarhero, unstoppable parcel meets undeliverable object
Northwind, it would end up in parcel purgatory
[quote=Northwind ] I'm up to 1300 delivered and 3 real fails- 2 lost parcels and one damaged when the courier threw it over a fence.
*nosey bastid* what do you sell?
I don't have any problem with them. Could you try drop off to drop off, they
shoudln't have any trouble finding the drop off shop.
Boring reply, but I thought that myherpes had teamed up with 'doddle', so that you've got the option of collecting from your local supermarket, etc.
I bet they just return it to the parcel shop rather than your address. You should pay for collection, or camp out at the shop and tackle the driver!
As above though, cunning plan...you are now the paying customer now so are more likely to be listened to rather than fobbed off as a pesky member of the public.
I write the dimensions on muyhermes parcels now after they blatantly tried to rip me off for a nearly oversized parcel.
Drop off to drop off is pointless. Would need me to buy the service and I'd never use Hermes to send something to myself. It's only when an eBayer or someone uses the the problem appears.
Have thought about the GPS thing - old phone with a battery pack might do it.
Haven't had a chance to drop it off at parcelshop yet. Will add tracking link once I do
Excellent, bookmarking this for giggles.
Are we taking bets yet?
bruneep - Member*nosey bastid* what do you sell?
Refurbished/collectible toys mostly. Though a pretty good proportion of that is me selling bike bits too 😳
Refurbished/collectible toys mostly. Though a pretty good proportion of that is me selling bike bits too
Barring maybe the refurbished bit, aren't these the same thing?
Refurbished/collectible toys mostly..?
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If you try to claim that you will need evidence of the value of the contents, have you got evidence of the cost of your soul?
I'll provide you a receipt. Mr L Cypher.
*update?*
If you try to claim that you will need evidence of the value of the contents, have you got evidence of the cost of your soul?
I'll give you twenty quid for it.
*update?*
There must be some kind of Universal feedback loop instigated by opening a box containing one's own soul. The OP is probably now eternally staring back into himself on his own doorstep.
If a shop is only using Hermes, I move along, swiftly. I've had stuff off them before, well, should have, but as I couldn't arrange collection or a redelivery, it never got delivered. I still don't know what it was or who from.
Only ones I'm happy to use are Collect +, dpd, click and collect at argos at a push are the only ones I'd consider.
I found a parcel under my van the other day, how fn stupid is that... Only spotted it by chance. And no card either, Royal Mail. Generally no issues with my hermes in Stirlingshire area but I admire your ingenuity.
I must be getting everyone's Yodel parcels then. Delivery driver dropped off two great big sack fulls at our new house. Guessing the previous owner was a last mile delivery type and had forgot to change his address!
Bought an item a couple of weeks ago and it was sent via myhermes. With a 10day delivery time. How does that happen? I could have walked there and back in that time. Do they hold it in a special cage and release it after a week.
There must be some kind of Universal feedback loop instigated by opening a box containing one's own soul. The OP is probably now eternally staring back into himself on his own doorstep.
Staring into a box full of our souls sounds suspiciously like reading the EU referendum thread currently. It certainly feels like some sort of Sisyphean purgatory.
I've been checking this post regularly:
have you received the parcel yet or was it returned to the sender? 8)
I get the impression it's not even been sent yet 🙁
I think the Hermes driver has killed the OP or he's created some sort of vortex he's stuck in.
No, the OP is only injured, the Hermes driver was unable to deliver the knockout blow.
[i]the Hermes driver was unable to deliver the knockout blow[/i]
Actually he did.
The OP's neighbour needed 3 stitches on a nasty cut above his eye.
This is the best thread ever.. only hope it delivers!
Here is the tracking webpage:
https://www.hermesworld.com/en/our_services/distribution/uk_distribution/parcel_tracking/parcel-tracking.html?trackingNumber=5733372246516680&Postcode=EH8%20%209EH:_noquery_
No knocks at the door or cards left so far
Will be home all day tomorrow.
I must be getting everyone's Yodel parcels then. Delivery driver dropped off two great big sack fulls at our new house. Guessing the previous owner was a last mile delivery type and had forgot to change his address!
Oh is that why you're selling so much on Ebay all of a sudden?
Will Hermes call shenanigans when the tracking page is visited by all and sundry?
This is a good one - I hope OP finds out what happens.
I've used Hermes quite a bit recently for eBay sales of bulky items but this is off putting 👿
Well?!
According to the tracking there has been a delay... He's opened a hole in the space time continuum.
And the driver did try and deliver it yesterday, apparently.
Just checked the tracking - that looks rotten. Only 1 claimed attempt to deliver so far....it really does look like sending a parcel to yourself by Hermes is causing a disturbance !
Keep us informed OP !
(And pass it on to Watchdog or whatever as well !)
Well, it seems they gave it to the courier today but he never bothered trying to deliver (noone buzzed or left a card - been at home doing uni work all day).
Seems they give it to the courier, but he... as suspected.... just drives around with it in his van.
...also worthy of note is that the delivery notifications are only coming in to my sender's email address (I used different ones for sender and receiver).
So, with the guy not leaving a card any where... as a receiver I would have no idea they are trying to deliver.
Not that it matters, as the receiver can't arrange for it to go to a different address, pick up shop or collect from the depot
I was going to speculate as to what you may have done to offend said delivery chap, but we know; nothing, as you have never met.
Is your Castle at then end of an annoyingly long drive? Do you have a velociraptor instead of a guard dog?
The fact that the undelivered parcel will have to be returned to you by the chap who is, even now, home early faking the delivery attempts, has a logical symmetry I find extremely satisfying.
I cannot wait to find out what his excuse is, I suspect that they (Hermes), tolerate a certain percentage of returns and he plays the system (as you do), but he could at least vary those addresses he does not deliver too.
