[Closed] My wife's started having contractions & I have an important meeting tomorrow...

Which would you rather miss: the meeting or the birth of your child?

MTFU and tell your boss you won't be in.

Erm...

no idea? is he a caveman? what is the plan for when you are off on paternity leave?

Wife started having contractions? Quick! Post on STW about my work-based dilemma! 😆

I get the feeling I've asked a silly question and will need my flameproof suit

You honestly have to ask here?

Hope this is a troll

Go to the meeting - your wife, the mother of the child she's presumably struggled to carry for months, will understand.
Your life is going to change my friend...............

Any boss who doesn't understand me missing a meeting to be with my wife when she's in labour is a boss I wouldn't want to work for.

The fact that you're asking this question suggests that you think your boss is a arsehole.

Mrs Ivnickkate says unless it's winning the lottery don't go. This is a censored response though. 😀

the easy answer, what ever your wife says, unless she says go to the meeting as she really means "YOU WOULD RATHER GO TO THE MEETING THAN SEE THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD"

no kids here though maybe I'm wrong

😯

Boy it must be an important meeting!

When we were about at about the same stage I was incapable of speech, let alone the expression of any kind of question - if ever there was a time when it is reasonable for your common sense to desert you and necessitate the hive stepping forward to keep you on the right path this is it!

Good luck!

*Go to the meeting, the sprogs going to make your life miserable for at least the next sixteen years.
What difference will a day make?*
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*this is not good advice..do not attempt to follow this advice..if you do, you're an idiot*

Take your wife to the meeting.

Conference call from the birthing suite.. you could probably sneak some gas and air when nobody is looking... just cover the microphone when your wife screams in agony.

It'll just be Brixton hicks

TheBrick - Member

The fact that you're asking this question suggests that you think your boss is a arsehole.

Antenatal class reckoned I should go as this is the 'latent phase' and could last a week. Wife reckons I should be going in. I'm not too sure.

At the meeting, your boss will tell you what a tuuat you are, so why go?

However, if it's your first (as it most certainly seems) and work isn't much further from the hospital than home - don't start paternity leave early.

If you want your absence at the birth of your child to be raised on a daily basis until the day you die then go to the meeting

How far is work from where you live/ need to go to hospital?

If more than 15mins stay at home

If you went, you wouldn't be concentrating on the meeting. Best they send someone else.

Not that you should need an excuse.

At the meeting, your boss will tell you what a tuuat you are, so why go?

However, if it's your first (as it most certainly seems) and work isn't much further from the hospital than home - don't start paternity leave early.

He's a good bloke tbh, I've worked for him before but only been with this co. for 7 weeks and there's a big hitter attending tomorrow. Sadly work is over an hour away, potentially two if m-way's blocked on a friday afternoon. It is my first.

I don't care who your boss is, how well paid your job is. Your wife is more important.

I don't suppose she'll let you check how dilated she is? 8)

That gives you a clue whether they're Braxton Hicks or the real thing.

All the best to the 3 of you!

Not sure what the big deal is, unless the contractions are very frequent or the meeting is absolutely miles away then just go to the meeting.
She can call you if she needs to.

If she wakes you at 4am and tells you her waters have broken, you'll very quickly forget about anything else. If it's just warm up contractions, carry on working as you'll want as much time off after as you can scrounge.

Assuming that 7 weeks with company = no statutory paternity tho? Hope they're able to be flexible & allow you some time off.

You [b]had[/b] an important meeting tomorrow.

I wouldn't run the risk, for our second one I only just arrived on time. Don't think I would have forgiven myself if I had of missed it I know the other half wouldn't . All the best to you all mike

If you have to ask you haven't really understood the whole concept of fatherhood? What were/ are you thinking? You ain't ready!

Your first child??? Don't make the mistake of presuming she knows what to do cause she's the female of the species...!

Father/ dad of 5 here.

I get the feeling I've asked a silly question and will need my flameproof suit

I get the feeling that if you didn't actually know that it was a silly question before you asked it....

Your flameproof suit will be made of petrol soaked big roll.

Missing a meeting is nothing. I had to sit in a hospital room on a glorious Saturday instead of riding. Nurse got angry when I asked if I could go out for a quick ride - baby cut out at 7pm so could have gone.... 🙂

What kind of contractions?

1) ooh I felt someting
2) OOOH! AAAAH! Pant pant pant breeeathe
3) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Type 1 aren't much to worry about, could be Braxton Hicks, you could be weeks away. Type 2 will be followed by type 3 soon enough so I'd say yes you do have a very important meeting tomorrow.. just probably not the one in your calendar.

Your boss does know about the imminent arrival yes?

If you have to ask you haven't really understood the whole concept of fatherhood? What were/ are you thinking? You ain't ready!

Christ... You appreciate that for the majority of human history fathers weren't usually present, right?

Christ... You appreciate that for the majority of human history fathers weren't usually present, right?

Exactly. I think people can get a bit carried away by the whole new man thing. The baby is inside the woman, at the end of the day it won't matter particularly whether he's there or not. She's the one that's pregnant.

It's kind of trivialising the woman's role in the whole process to suggest that the presence of the man is so essential at the birth.

The fact of the matter is that the bloke is fairly incidental at this point.

The baby is inside the woman, at the end of the day it won't matter particularly whether he's there or not. She's the one that's pregnant.

I must say that, being female and having given birth 3 times, I really couldn't care less who was in the room at the time. I was too busy 🙂

So long as you are there afterwards though, when she has come back to reality!

My wife appreciated my presence greatly.

To answer molgrips question, they're the ooh, felt something and my stomach feels like it's being vacuum wrapped

Take the advice of a midwife (even the duty one who doesn't know your missus from adam/eve).

I went to work three hours after my wife's contractions started at 40 weeks, and felt better about it for asking one of my GP colleagues whether I should realy be at work. Yes, a real live GP. She said "yeah, probably nothing too serious right now, just keep your phone on." Fortunately, I went with what the midwife advised instead, and was holding my daughter 3 hours later, this was three hours before I was otherwise due to finish work.

You may not believe me, but my wife is about to give birth too. Any time.

There is an app counting time between contractions etc...very helpfull to manage your progress. Guess your OH had a chat with maternity unit already?

If its a first child, most probably it won't be fast at all. Our first one came in 36hours, hope your wife won't struggle for that long. You have plenty of time to chit-chat on STW, so it's all good.

Those contractions can last I tell you. Colleague of mine went through them for few days, she gave birth only after -induction- etc.

Once your child is born and you feel them in your arms, you will know what a wally you've been even asking this question

If this was an exact science, there wouldn't be half as many midwives and maternity suites. It might be nothing, you might already be holding the baby before bedtime. If you go to work, will your wife have someone to stay with her and get her to the ward if needs?

Dude, don't even think twice. Call your boss, tell him you won't be around tomorrow, or until bambino decides to rock up

Enjoy the birth of your child, but don't look down (don't ask why, just trust me on this)

DO cut the cord if you have the opportunity

Recognise that EVERYTHING changes with the birth of your first child / riding apprentice

Reassess your priorities

Decide if you'd ask this question again

You have heard of Skype, right? Well when she's having the bub, Skype her you tool. Don't ruin a perfectly planned meeting. Think about the sandwich platter that will go to waste! You tool.

DO cut the cord if you have the opportunity

Someone explain this one to me, for I entirely fail to see the attraction or indeed point. Both of mine I decided I'd rather the professionals cut the cord.

Andy

I cut my son's. My wife was knackered. It was a moment when my son was actually seperated from her and an actual living breathing human being. It's a pretty special moment. You not got kids, or where you at a meeting? 😉

It was a moment when my son was actually seperated from her and an actual living breathing human being. It's a pretty special moment.

Now, if the baby comes out through the sunroof, they're already lying on the resuscitaire when the midwife asks dad to cut the cord stump. I may be being cold here, or I may just be missing the point, but that doesn't seem like a particularly special moment to me.

When I held #1 for the first time, now [b]that[/b] was special. And when she opened her eyes and looked around...

Mine was a natural birth so no experience of a caeser. When you've been up all night then driven to the birthing centre, sat there and watched wifey in the pool, on the bed and in what seemed like quite a bit of pain, and no drugs (for either of us!) when she finally pushed out the baby and the midwife asks if you want to cut the cord, emotions and sleep deprivation make it seem like a good idea. Sunroof is cheating. Did she have a meeting to get to? 😉

Sunroof is cheating

Sorry Col, wasn't meant in an offensive way. I'm sorry my comment upset you.

The fact of the matter is that the bloke is fairly incidental at this point.

I suppose that if you keep to biological definitions, yes. However, being a husband and a father would probably be a bit of an inconvenience if that was how you saw life.

Sunroof is cheating. Did she have a meeting to get to?

Now [b]that[/b], my friend, wins some sort of award for the most stupid and pointlessly offensive comment of the day.

Wow. Complete stranger gets offended by words on internet.

Toughen up, princess. I've already apologised to Col. That's my quota for the day.

Update- Contractions have backed right off now, might do meeting (with phone on) and then come back. Already bailed on Monday's 3 day course tho.

Sunroof is cheating.

Everyone I know that's had a Caesar lately (and there have been a few) had it because of imminent danger to the baby and/or mother...and very often after a long, drawn out, painful, stressful labour. (Like NZCol above, and two of our closest friends who went through a labour so grim, that I wasn't far from tears hearing about it.) I realise you meant it as a throwaway comment and had the good grace to apologise to NZCol afterwards, but it might not be a bad idea to have a think about who reads those words and what it reminds them of when you write them. "Too posh to push" isn't at all as common as you might believe.

Best of luck thered. I reckon there'll be another forum announcement over the weekend. 😀

Yep. Apologised and moved on. No need to keep quoting me really. It wasn't meant with any malice, my best friend is a midwife, I'm a nurse, it's just banter. I cannot delete the comment and would really appreciate not being quoted over and over.

Ok fairy nuff. Fair dues for apologising too. I didn't realise you're a nurse. I guess black humour gets health professionals through the day sometimes.

Do we get a morning update? Has the baby arrived? Or are the contractions just ticking along and he's off to work.

I sent my other half to work twice out of my 4 labours as I just felt it would be some time before it got going only once did I have to ring and get him back early and he didnt miss anything.

To be honest early labour can drag and the best way I find to deal with it is doing simple little jobs as it gives my mind something else to focus on. Sometimes when im in this mindset my other half was more aggitated and wanted me to stop doing 'stuff' - so it was better for me that he went to work 😀

Hope it all goes smoothly - such a monumental moment in your lives

Op, I'm missing an important meeting to go mountain biking today. That's right, having 2 kids has completed altered my rules of prioritisation, I'd suggest you get used to that pdq.

Maybe one of us could go to the meeting instead of you? What's it about? Where is it? Will there be snacks?

I would say go with what the wife says (pretty good advice whether pregnant or not) as even an hour away could be too late - we have two kids - total time in labour: 4 1/2 hours - blink and you could have missed the first one!

Good luck!

Get used to pissing your boss off to look after your kids in unforeseen circumstances. It goes with the territory,

How long is the meeting / is it nearby / could you convert it to a teleconference? As others have said, it'll probably be ages before things happen properly but if there's any likelihood you'll be needed at home then you've got to have a cast iron fail safe plan to be there PDQ

Re; whether a father should be present at the birth. I was, and a good thing too. Firstly - my wife was extremely keen to have as little intervention as possible (she was quite earth mother back in the day, it soon wore off into sleep deprived reality) and the delivery was taking quite a time. No risk to the baby but the midwife was starting to mutter about forceps and shit, and if I hadn't been there to back her up that she wanted to push on she might not have had the birth she wanted and got. And secondly, if I hadn't been there I wouldn't have found out the full extent of her swearing vocabulary, or the number of different ways she could arrange them into an identifiable sentence.

FFS Mikey! This is the point where priorities shift from selling cars and buying King hubs to other things.

And why the kcuf are you asking the STD massive?

Hope it all goes well and let us know when the sproglet lands. We'llwet the babies head for you as we now won't see you for the next 18 years.

Apologised and moved on. No need to keep quoting me really. It wasn't meant with any malice, my best friend is a midwife, I'm a nurse, it's just banter. I cannot delete the comment and would really appreciate not being quoted over and over

There's a lesson here that coffee/staffroom banter on a forum, especially where the non-verbal 'I am joking' cues are missing and on emotive subjects (which this is, given the pressure (some) women feel to have the 'perfect' drug and intervention-free deliver, which a section certainly isn't) can cause far more offense than intended.

good luck thered and mrs thered.

And don't worry about the flamers. Any question is valid .

For a bit of balance, when my wife had our baby she had some contractions about a month before any thing happened. It's hard to tell when it's going to happen. Especially if it's your first. Ask what you like.
And when it did happen it was on the fourth day of labour. This isn't "normal", just an example of how things can go differently for everyone.

But more importantly, don't be afraid to phone your midwife if you think, or are unsure, about whether it's time. They can tell a lot over the phone and advise you if you should be going in to the hospital.
And be ready to put your wife on the phone to her. She'll be asked a few questions, and they'll be listening to her breathing and ability to talk, and keeping her talking to time and assess the contractions.
They're great. Use them. [ better than bike forums 😉 ]

I'm confused. Anyone who has already been to the birth of a child, will know for sure that they'll never want to go to one again. It's horrendous. Screaming and blood, swearing, drugs, half a dozen people looking up your wife's flounce, you feeling inadequate... Oh no hang on, that's the conception isn't it?

Anyway, the birth isn't much difference apart from you being even less important to the proceedings. The only reason for the man being there is to make him feel guilty. He's a complete spare part. your missus will have forgotten what the birth was like five minutes after it's finished but THE HORROR WILL NEVER LEAVE YOUR MIND.

Ha sorry I was actually laughing about the sunroof comment as it is not the first time I have heard it ! My winking eye was there to make it clear I took no offence !
Everyone relax.
Apart from the bloke having the baby. You my friend are about to experience something no book or Internet forum can prepare you for....

I missed the birth of my second child as I was sitting on a plastic chair outside the operating theatre... and they wouldn't let me in as Mrs Freeagent had to be put under.

I might as have been at work... ;o)

As others have said, get used to work not being quite as important anymore.

FFS man, your boss can go **** himself. And if he objects, tell him you consulted a higher authority. i.e. us.

For balance, when mrsnzcol was being chopped being nz I knew about 50%of the theatre staff and bike with the anethnatist so the three of us were discussing the merits of tubeless tyres. Priorities change and the little scamps can be equally delightful and annoying, but one smile and you forget everything else. Good luck and don't expect the world to stop which can feel weird.

Married to a midwife, ah the tales over dinner!! 😯

Our first was a major intervention, sucked out with the hoover in hospital. Second at home, nice and relaxed and minimum stress for all concerned.

Births seem to vary wildly in timing and process, better to be there and have a mildly annoyed boss than to miss something.

Good luck, welcome to looking like shite, no sleep, no money and the best times ever.

IS this meeting miles away from your wife?

Not a cat in hells chance a job is more important.

[i]*tumbleweed*[/i]

[i]Assuming that 7 weeks with company = no statutory paternity tho? Hope they're able to be flexible & allow you some time off. [/i]

Eh? What do you think we did before this rule came in - took holiday.

Plan to go to the meeting, keep phone on. At any point your wifes' waters break she can ring you. If you've someone that can spend the day with her, even better.

tbh When my the two eldest of mine were born it was pre-mobile phones and I worked away/on-the-road. In the last few weeks I just rang home when I could. And I was in Budapest on the Mon/Tue of the week my youngest was born, wife's waters broke on the Friday, luckily by then I was only an hour away. He still took 2 days to arrive...

gwaelod - Member
It'll just be Brixton hicks

Is this a London-based remake of the Beverly Hillbillies?