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Yeah, yeah I'm sure the STW smart alecs will rip this apart but this is broadly the truth and my personal take on the past couple of days. 8)
E.g. The UK holds a referendum on whether to launch a nuclear missile strike against The Isle of Mann due to reports of dangerous unicorns. The public is wary of unicorns as Nigella Filange had been crowing on about their deadliness for years and the masses were starting to believe him. Considerable elements of the public therefore wanted the unicorns dead and it votes 52%-48% in favour of unicorn-o-geddon. MPs give this result consideration however they receive crucial intelligence following the referendum from the British Army that infact the supposed unicorns don't even exist, they're just harmless horned horses and that Nigella Filange has no idea how the army will be reimbursed for the cost of their expensive missiles.
On this evidence and taking into consideration the considerable damage that the nuclear strikes would cause for no quantifiable benefit, the MPs decide to dismiss the referendum result and cancel the nuclear strikes.
As a follow on to this the main instigator of the proposed unicorn-o-geddon, the renowned unicorn hater Nigella Filange fails to admit that he lied about the threats of unicorns in the first place. As a result he is beheaded by the Queen (she was p*ssed off by the whole thing).
shared straight to facebook 🙂
Nigella Filange
Is that Regina's sister?
a.k.a Princess Consuela Bananahammock?
Yeah but I'm still going to go out into the countryside and shout abuse at horses.And to be on the safe side cows , the cows are in on it with the horses.
They all stand alone in their little groups in fields, why can't they be more like us and live in houses and have a few bevvies at the weekend and where's their ****ing flags when the football is on ? ****s.
Haha! 😀