[Closed] My mate's died and I feel rubbish.

i posted the same on here when my mate frank died 🙁

so sorry for your loss mate

Sorry to hear

Please be strong for his lass ( and for him )

That's very rough. Really sorry.

sorry to hear that mate.
keep your chin up.

a few words in here i found apt when a mate died recently..

http://videolog.uol.com.br/video.php?id=350974

Santacruzi,really sorry for you,sadly your mate has died,but his memory and all the things you did together will remain for ever as fond memories,my best wishes to you and his girl freindand family,who are also suffering.

So young too.
Sorry for your loss.

Sorry to hear about your mate. Think of the good times and smile.

That is awful. Really sorry to hear that! As has been said, remember the good times.

Oh no, that's awful, so sorry to hear.

I can't imagine how you're feeling. Think of a the good laffs you had together, smile, and stay strong.

Sounding off and cheering each other up: why else does STW exist?

Sorry for your loss. Similar thing happened to me, makes you more determined to make the most of life.

Cheers folks, thanks a lot. It helps.

Glad you felt you could turn to us lot for a bit of support. I can't imagine how you must feel so I won't try.

It's very sad when it happens to someone you know so young.

Tough call, my best mate died last year. No words csn really convey the sheer loss but as well as taking time for those closest to him GF and family etc make sure you take some time for yourself. Thoughts go out to you.

Thats shite. I lost my best mate in 2001, we were like brothers. He was only 23. Still miss him now. Gutted for you.

Way too young at 40 😐 Maybe an undetected heart condition ?

Out of the blue like that, it'll take a while to sink in. As you say, you just don't know what's round the corner.

His girlfriend must be in complete shock 🙁

My thoughts are with you, as well.

In a similiar situation I went out and did something that would have made him laugh...it made me feel better imagining the smile on his face

Heart goes out to you buddy... chin up as much as possible.

Be strong dude, it gets easier with time.

crikey.
take care.

sorry to hear about your loss, keep strong

So sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you're going through as my mate [only 27] had a heart attack a few weeks ago and we buried him on what was meant to be his wedding day.

As said above be strong for his lass, family and friends. If ever you need someone to talk to then we're all here for you...

Really sorry to hear about your loss, thinking of you and his girlfriend. One day at a time . . . .

I've lost a couple of good mates at around 40, but not sudden like that

It's a bit of a platitude, but think (and talk to his girlfriend/family) of the good times you had - maybe get out and do something that you used to do together & do it in his memory

Very sad, hope you're all ok & have time to support each other

That's cruel. Sometimes life feels too much like a little narrow ledge.

SantaCruzi, sorry to hear your news.
I had a good friend who was working late in his office. The cleaners found him slumped over his desk after having a heart attack. He was 36 and healthy having run a 1/2 marathon that year; regular gym goer.

You never know what's around the corner, and yes sharing these things is good.

sorry.
lost my best mate just over a year ago.
it does get easier,but never easy.
remember the good times.
life IS too short.

Lost a very good friend a couple of months ago who, for stupid reasons, I hadn't spoken to in a while even though I wanted too. Her death made me realise what is important in life and what I would say to everyone is if you haven't spoken to someone in a while that you really should have then take the time to do it asap as you never know what is around the corner 🙁

santacruzsi - I don't know you or unfortunately your mate but please accept my sincere condolences 40 is just way to young.

for what it's worth I've got a big birthday coming up myself and mrs. G has been after me to get into the doc's for a cardio workup.. this horrible news is just what I needed to push me over the edge and get me on that treadmill.

again sorry for your loss.

Had a couple of these over the years. Shakes you up badly. Rather than dwell on it, I remind myself that it is a sign to live a full life and do what you can while you can. You don't know when it is your time, so fill your boots.

As The Flaming Lips tell us:

Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last

That's a tough one.

Bon Courage.

SB

Shocker. Sorry to hear - as said above, keep strong for his GF and family.

I've had that same phone call from a friends wife. Its a tough one.

Our friend was the guy who inspired a whole lot of folks to get into mountainbiking way back in the early eighties.

We have an annual ride in his memory, though to be honest I think about his enthusiasm on most every ride I go out on. His death made me think a lot more about the things that matter to me in my life.

When someone dies suddenly like that it does seem almost impossible to comprehend at first. We were out in Greece in June and my wife got a phone call from her sister-in-law to tell her that her brother had died an hour earlier that morning. He'd felt a bit restless in the night and went to sleep in the spare room to avoid disturbing his wife - when she went to wake him for work at 6-30 she found him dead.
Ok, he was older (56) but appeared perfectly healthy, so the shock for everyone was immense.
People say that if you have to go, then that's the way to do it but it comes like a bolt from the blue to those who have to pick up the pieces of their lives.
It gets easier with time - like others have said, remember the happy and good times that you've shared. I think that's how people live on, by the positive effects that they have had on those who knew them.

Best Regards and don't stay alone at home, go out and talk to other pals/family too.

It's awful, especially when it's a mate rather than family. If it's close family, people expect you to be upset, when it's a mate, you feel as if you have to be strong for the family, when inside you're torn up, and probably could do with lots of support yourself. When it's a younger friend, sometimes another seperate wake away from his family is the best way to remember the friend that you knew - who may be very different from the brother/father/responsible family man that his family knew.

It generally gets better with time, although there is no right amount of time to grieve for, and indeed no right or wrong way to grieve. If things don't move on CRUSE bereavement counselling can be helpful although are a bit hit and miss. Sometimes an event like this can precipitate an episode of depression, something to keep an eye out for, but be wary of anyone who suggests antidepressants without exploring other avenues.

mcmoonter - Member
I've had that same phone call from a friends wife. Its a tough one.

Our friend was the guy who inspired a whole lot of folks to get into mountainbiking way back in the early eighties.

We have an annual ride in his memory, though to be honest I think about his enthusiasm on most every ride I go out on. His death made me think a lot more about the things that matter to me in my life.

Bigyinn, no it was Phil Williamson. His brother Robin ran a bike shop in Stockbridge in Edinburgh in the 80s.

Bigyinn, no it was Phil Williamson. His brother Robin ran a bike shop in Stockbridge in Edinburgh in the 80s

mine is the same friend as mcmoonter, i was the last person to ride with him. he was a great friend and mountainbiker and there isnt a ride i go on and dont think of him riding beside me.
if ever i think of a reason for not riding i remind myself that he cant to inspire me.
it just started snowing but im going out for my homanany ride anyway
this ones for you phil (with us always)
happy new year to all

only just found this - so sorry for your loss

my condolences to you and his family/friends.as others have said,think of the good times,that definitely helps.take care mate.

Can't even begin to imagine how you feel, you must be seriously down. Most sincere condolences, mate.

Sorry to hear that. That's awful.