My daughter has coated cat with Sudocrem - what to do?

Oh dear...

Take a photo?

get the cat in the bath and wash it off. try not to rub it in.

Pics of your patchy pussy please.

Poidh...

baby wipes are pretty much the answer to everything sudocrem related in our house.

Wipe baby's bottom with cat. Two birds, one stone.

I think your cat would be more traumatised by being put in the bath than having to lick off its own sudocrem to be honest. Do not do this.

[s]Wipes or a damp soapy flannel.[/s]

Actually - vet. Seriously. It will lick itself, you need to know the medical view on this.

did a full on lol at the thread title.

when i say lol, i mean the real world version which is breathing out of my nose harder as my head moves slighty backwards

Must be a pretty easy-going cat 🙂

Ours would've left a few blood-stained parts of the miscreant's carcass outside the kitchen door and the remains under the hedge.

Good luck!

Please take a photo before you do anything.

High five your daughter.

Brilliant..

Trying to be sensible through the giggles, the cat will either ingest a considerable amount of the Sudocrem or what ever you take it off with. I'd try with something olive oily, but then you'll end up with a slippy cat.

The poos will be novel too..

If the cat will tolerate it, baby wipes and combing..

It's not toxic, but could give the cat the runs.

We've been told it's OK on our dog by the vet when she gets the occasional sore and she just licks it straight off without any ill effects.

Our white cat got covered in oil under a car.

This lead to the memorable words to my boss;

"I need to go home and Swarfega the cat."

I tried, got ripped to shreds and gave up and the vet did it under general anaesthetic.

I suggest you cut out the fighting, pain and general 'chasing a reluctant cat around the bathroomness' of my approach and go straight to the vets.

when i say lol, i mean the real world version which is breathing out of my nose harder as my head moves slighty backwards

I LQTM.

Could have been worse.

i.e. Veet.

I would say you need to remove the sudocrem ASAP before the cat licks it off as I can't imagine that doing it much good.

In our case that would involve me getting into one of those chainmail suits used by shark feeders and attempting to bath the cat.

Maybe speak to a vet for advice on whats best to use - there may be cat shampoo available. Our 14 year old cat would kick my head in if i attempted to shampoo it.

best thread title ive read in ages.

the mental images are fantastic

(not a cat lover)

PICS

"I need to go home and Swarfega the cat."

In our case that would involve me getting into one of those chainmail suits used by shark feeders and attempting to bath the cat.

[img] [/img]

The punchline is his Daughter is 26

Right.

I have photos (they will have to wait to be posted as I can't reach my host using the iPad...) and have contacted the vet (good call molgrips, thanks).

The vet said I have to "firmly rub" the cat with fairy liquid and then bathe it 🙁

Thankfully the cat is very docile - I have never known her even hiss - but this may be a step too far. We shall see. She is currently sitting outside looking sorry for herself in a 'teenager with too much hairgel and not enough of a clue' style.

As for high fiving, regrettably the first thing I did was laugh :/

Phone the vet and ask for advice or you could try and brush it out, our long haired soft lump loves a good brush, he will also tolerate a bath (kind of :?)

[i]the first thing I did was laugh[/i]

she'll be doing it daily now "'cos it made Daddy laugh" 🙂

Slippy cat in bath covered in Fairy Liquid.

Seriously, what could possibly go wrong?

Video is a must...

The vet said I have to "firmly rub" the cat with fairy liquid and then bathe it

I have to rugby tackle ours and pin it down just to put some flea treatment on the back of its neck.

Have a look on youtube at 'how to disable a cat' - it may help when cleaning it off. 8)

(for those lazy people, it involves a bulldog clip, the cats neck and a natural reaction). 😆

I'd def go with the baby wipes to start with, can just stroke it with them rather than upset it rubbing something in.

if you go down they DIY route put a bathmat in the bottom of the bath.

It's amazing how much damage a cats claws can do to even an enamel bath finish whilst its legs are running at 30mph and you've still got it pinned to the bottom of the bath.

I think your cat would be more traumatised by being put in the bath than having to lick off its own sudocrem to be honest.

my mother used to shampoo the cat in the bath if he needed it - cat had no problems with it so give it a try.

if you scruff the cat she'll go limp; it's a built in kitten carrying reflex.

Just don't relax the grip, because although the cat's 'paralysed' while you do this, the resentment isn't, that's building and waiting for a chance to vent. When you do finally let go - run like hell, and DON'T LOOK BACK

Don't waste water either; get the dishes in the bath too.

The vet missed the opportunity for a very amusing Mrs Slocombe-style double entendre there -

The vet said I have to "firmly rub" the [i]pussy[/i]

You won't wash it off, btw.

Have you got a wirlpool bath, if so, stick a stack of washing up liquid in the bath, turn the taps on, start the motors, fling the cat in, then slam the door shut to the bathroom, wait until you see bubbles coming out of the top of the bathroom door, then stand back and open the door...

Video camera at the ready 😉

Lock catflap, so cat stays out till its clean

Job Jobbed! 😀

[img] [/img]

shave it, allowing still more innuendo-laden posts

- off to google -

😯

Have a look on youtube at 'how to disable a cat'

[img] [/img]
[img] [/img]

good point - cats have an off-switch. Wish I'd known the bulldog clip trick when I still had cats - then trying to clean melted marshmallow off them would have been much less bloody

Vet is giving you duff advice, just apply a liberal coating of Veet over and amongst the Sudocrem.

🙂

Yes, that trick works on every cat, every time... 🙄

I'd get a roll of Elastoplast too, although the Sudocrem will help when it gets in your cuts..

young spawn of Satan cousin + chewing gum + cat = nicely trimmed pussy

pics is great, but DO sort out a video cam for the bath/wash/rinse
YBF will give you £250 or you get to be a youtube sensation.

sudocream doesnt really wash off tho does it.

We've just come back form the Pub and I've logged on.

We're in hysterics.

True Office howler.

If it was me I would have got some superglue and glued its paws to the bath/shower and turned it on to hot then got the loafer out from the airing cupboard and liberally covered the cat in shampoo, then soaked the bloody thing. Then waited as it chewed its own paws off to break free.

I too vote for pictures.

Things are so far going less well than I'd hoped.

[i]got the loafer out from the airing cupboard[/i]

are you sure a casual shoe is the best tool for the job?

Things are so far going less well than I'd hoped

Oh dear what has happened?

Things are so far going less well than I'd hoped.

Please do tell

When we've washed our cats we've just filled the bath up a bit with soapy water, got the cat in the bathroom, door closed and let the cat wander around all unsuspecting for a then scoop it up and drop it it the bath. Then stand clear, don't try to wash it by hand. Cats swim fine, so it won't come to any real harm and it will froth the water up a treat as it tries to climb out. If it makes it out, do it again and repeat until it's looking a bit cleaner, then a final shot with fresh water for a rinse or get the shower head on it. The bathroom will get wet everywhere, and the cat won't enjoy it, but both of those things are going to happen regardless and you'll get a lot less badly injured.

Pics or it's not true!

Oh and

glupton1976 - Member
High five your daughter.

My cat regularly takes a bath with me. I shit you not. Honestly..the car paddles about between my balls.

Everyone thinks its wonderful, and embarrassingly everyone always wants to watch me take a bath.

Sudocreme is designed to not wash off smooth skin (never mind out of fur) and to be a stronger adherent than baby poo, you really have got your work cut out here. I'd employ a cat barberist and pay them what ever they wanted. Nails clipped may be first step.

[i]everyone always wants to watch me take a bath[/i]

I can just see you at parties;

"Come and watch the cat treading on my balls whilst I have a bath, go on you know you want to!"

😉

Can't stop chuckling! Feeling sorry for the kitty, but just the mental images of this have had me in stitches!

Anyway... My dad once sprayed one of our old cats with fly spray, instead of flea spray. Poor cat was not pleased as it was a pretty nasty irritant! And the cat was a big strong sod of a ginger Tom too... Anyway, my mum scooped him up, put him in a few inches of water in the bath and shampooed him. He didn't flinch once apparently, seemingly realising though far less than ideal that my mum was indeed helping him out on a big scale. He even had a grin on his face as she wrapped him in a towel and dried him off!

My sister had a very long haired cat years ago. At 6 months old, and still very small, she knocked a glass bottle of olive oil onto a stone floor, and them proceeded to wade through it and cover herself in it. You have never seen a more pathetic looking sight in your life!!! Cue another bath, and another shampoo...

Honestly..the car paddles about between my balls

Quote of the week

Sudocreme... ...a stronger adherent than baby poo

Funiest thread in ages

tiny cat or really, really baggy scrotum ?

Am so glad my phone's on mute on this call....! 🙂

you need a rain type shower in a cubical

cat in , door fully shut , shower on

when it gets out cat will kill you 🙂

Can you not use Sudocream as an alternative to chamois cream? Just take it to a bike race this weekend. I'm sure the bikers will be grateful for having a rub against a creamy pus...

No time to document proceedings so far, except to say that the Fairy liquid did nothing good, that however upset a cat is you can still make it more frantic by waving a flag in its face, and that I'm now trying to get us off to the vets so the cat can be clippered.

I did say to just go to the vets.

*feels vindicated*

pics later please.

My speed scrolling through the thread reveals no photos.

So...

*cough* bullshit *cough*

you can still make it more frantic by waving a flag in its face

WTF? what are you doing to the damn thing?

[img] [/img]and hey presto! here's one I made earlier..

good luck! our cat bites and scratches when she's had enough fuss.

as to the guy who lets his cat paddle about near his balls WTF! 😯

my favourute soon to be soggier cat image off google'

[img] [/img]

See, I've got 3 cats and neither of those pictures would occur without me looking like I'd been through a combine harvester on full thresh.

When we've washed our cats we've just filled the bath up a bit with soapy water, got the cat in the bathroom, door closed and let the cat wander around all unsuspecting for a then scoop it up and drop it it the bath.

our cat seems to be able to do that cartoon trick of spreading it's legs so far that it's impossible to get it into anything, it can also semi fly by wriggling through the air and if you try and, well, throw it, it just grabs your clothes and skin so you can't get rid of it. All while biting.

[img] [/img]

Schrodinger didn't know whether the cat in the box would be alive or dead, and used quantum to suggest that it could be considered both at the same time.

If he'd put it in the bath, he would never have messed about with cats again...

This thread is why I love my dog 😉

our cat seems to be able to do that cartoon trick of spreading it's legs so far that it's impossible to get it into anything, it can also semi fly by wriggling through the air and if you try and, well, throw it, it just grabs your clothes and skin so you can't get rid of it. All while biting.

For added youtube effect say JESUS CHRIST a lot and call your cat something middle class and poncey.

I thought I'd lost my sense of humour, seems it was locked away waiting for this thread.

Thanks Lads.

Aww poor kitty! Please make sure it doesn't lick itself

When my two long haired ginger Toms were kittens they used to belt around the house chasing each other.

One day they came thundering down the stairs, I felt the air move as they whizzed past me, Charlie, the larger fluffier one of the two, took a corner far too fast. Even with four paw drive he drifted and took out a candle burner thing that was lit.........

This was pretty much the result.......

[img] [/img]

Needless to say I had to take him straight the vets to be shaved. Luckily he wasn't burnt and was fine

Not a cat video but our son managed to cover himself in Sudocrem.....

[b][u]Cat Bathing as a Martial Art[/b][/u]

Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions!)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.

Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun on the wildest 45 seconds of your life.

Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out by this time. Drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

But at least now he smells a lot better.

Best thread in a long time, epic!

This thread +pics= B3ta newsletter.
Get a move on, OP, you've got 24 hours and counting!

Funniest thread in a long time - properly crying