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I am a bad dad.... There I said it. I have 2 boys (14 and 8 ) the 14 year old could ride almost before he walked but the youngest just won't and can't be bothered. I have obviously tried to encourage him but he has never taken to it and each time it gets mentioned recently he refuses to give it another try.
It's got to a point where he is very apprehensive about trying and will just stop after a few minutes so never gets any better.
I guess if I were a better dad I would try and try regardless of time and weather etc but the reality is that work and other bits mean I only get some weekends to Persue this. I suppose because the eldest boy more or less just slung his leg over a bike and was off I took it for granted.
The problem is that he has now outgrown the nice bike we got him a couple of years ago and is blumin huge for his age (easily the biggest kid in his year) so stabilisers just won't work now.
I need some inspiration to get him riding, pointers or neat tricks as I was absolutely knackered the other night from running and holding on and we got no where?
Take the pedals off. Make it a big balance bike.
Tried the no pedalling but taking them right off is a good call.
I have twins and one was very reluctant. Needed something to aim for. And spent weeks doing just 15 min a day. Including time just balancing from one foot to the other. The biggest motivation was the ability to ride somewhere new as a family and have icecream!
Does he *want* to learn? Be honest with yourself about this; I didn’t ask if he *should* want to learn…
Rachel
Interesting. My soon-to-be-6 year old daughter is just the same: not interested and any discussion or suggestion is met with a stamped foot and tears.
Eldest got it sussed and enjoys riding, 5yo doesn't seem interested but school run would be sooooo much easier if I could get both kids riding so kinda need to get the youngest riding over summer.
Have booked him in for [url= https://ncagb.co.uk/learn-to-ride/ ]NCA learn to ride[/url] this weekend, will see how we get on.
I have a niece and a nephew, both now 5 - one each side of the family. The nephew has been balance biking since he was 2.5, riding a bike since 3.5 and now on 2nd islabike at 5 & a few months and going over the little double ramp I bought him like a goodun. My sister's daughter got her first bike last week having missed the balance bike bit out as my sister 'doesnt believe in them'. Despite not being short if a bob or two they have got her some monster thing to grow into with stabilisers and a weight of a small planet. Weirdly she is not taking to it! So frustrating. You can't push kids into taking to bikes but you can ensure there are the fewest obstacles in their way.
My eldest, now 8, was riding two wheels when he was 3. His younger brother (now 5) has shown less interest so I haven't pushed it. But now I'm going off on fun rides with my eldest, the youngest has become interested in learning again, and we're nearly there with him.
Maybe have a cool bike adventure with your eldest & don't try to coax your youngest any more? My guess is he'll come round. Sometimes the more you try to persuade/pressure kids, the less they'll want to do it.
and sometimes you just need to make them do things they dont want to do for their own future benefit, even if they have a tantrum they soon forget once they are enjoying whatever it is they've now learned to do, be it cycling, swimming, etc.Sometimes the more you try to persuade/pressure kids, the less they'll want to do it.
didn't work on mineMaybe have a cool bike adventure with your eldest & don't try to coax your youngest any more? My guess is he'll come round. Sometimes the more you try to persuade/pressure kids, the less they'll want to do it.
"me and your brother are going out for an adventure, lots of fun, a few sweet stops, maybe spend a bit of time on the playground and we'll stop for ice cream on the way home"
"ok bye"
and sometimes you just need to make them do things they dont want to do for their own future benefit, even if they have a tantrum they soon forget once they are enjoying whatever it is they've now learned to do, be it cycling, swimming, etc.
Right. Yeah.
OP, you just have to force him to do it.
Thing is I haven't pushed it which is I think part of the problem as he will quite happily just not bother and go back to the iPad.... Never had all of this with the eldest as all of this tablet and YouTube/Pokemon stuff was just in its infancy then so he had nothing better to do than learn to ride.
Will implement the pedals off balance bike approach first and see what happens as the balance is his main issue.
To be fair there is a lack of places to safely ride where we are as its a car packed Victorian terrace town and the roads are bad these days so we have no nice little culdesacs etc to ride around and even the alley ways are packed with cars.
Wonder how he'd avoid being bored if the WiFi "went down"?
Hire a tandem at somewhere like the Forest of Dean pedal away centre
We do "screen time" and "no screen time". It works out well.
I feel you pain Donks, my 6yo cant be bothered and this isn't without me trying, although Ive always gone with softly softly approach as he seems to have his mothers stubbornness. He's had a plethora of bikes over the years from balance bikes to proper pedal bikes (even resorted to stabilisers now, which still isn't working as he cant be bothered to pedal so results in him just sitting on the bike)
His anxiety over riding a bike stems from a few years ago on his balance bike when my mates little girl was teaching him (shes only a year older but rides all day long if she could) and let go of him causing him to fall due to lack of speed. This really got to him and that's all he thinks about while being on two wheels now. To the extent it stopped him using his two wheeled scooter.
I wont give up, he needs to learn to ride as its a right of passage IMO for kids. First part of freedom so to speak as they can razz around the street without too much care. We have 4/5 other kids in the street who play on their bikes and he always watches them as if he wants to join in, but even trying some seat time at the 'right now he's interested moments' doesnt seem to make a difference.
[quote=donks ]Thing is I haven't pushed it which is I think part of the problem as he will quite happily just not bother and go back to the iPad....
Well if that's the problem, then as others have alluded, don't give that option.
Definitely try pedals off - or if your mechanical skills can cope, cranks and BB off.
It appears to be very important to you (lot) but not one bit important to the youngster that a bike gets learned how to ride.
It's not that important though, is it? Why are you forcing the issue?
I can see that something like learning to swim would have its life(saving) merits but riding a bike?
It's just a bike.
and sometimes you just need to make them do things they dont want to do for their own future benefit, even if they have a tantrum they soon forget once they are enjoying whatever it is they've now learned to do, be it cycling, swimming, etc.
Unscientific experience of adult friends who don't cycle, suggests that pushing kids into riding a bike turns them into adults that hate bikes 🙂
Agreed.... It's not life saving important but the older and bigger he gets , it's going to be harder to assist him to ride plus he might be psychologically reluctant to try. Swimming is only done once in a while where as biking can be done as much as he wants once he can ride.
He's getting to the age where the other kids are playing out and not just this play date arrangement that happens with young kids and loads of them will be on bikes so it seems sensible for him to be able to ride.
Monkie, learning to ride is pretty important. This year alone I've been on 6 or 7 social rides with youth clubs, friends & charity. All abilities attended, but they could all ride. I would hate for my child to miss out on these experiences. It's also a useful skill to have for fitness, balance, commuting & even a bit of tourism/sight seeing.
If he doesn't want to, he won't. We have the odd breakdown around swimming lessons but once the routine is established it's much easier (we esentially just ignore the complaints and talk positively about something completely different, like what we are doing later), the first step needs them to buy into though, or it'll go nowhere.
I'd try getting somebody else to teach him. You'll have to hand in your dad badge (joke) but kids are beggars for point blank refusing to do things for us that they'll do without a second thought for others. They are way better at those mind games than we give them credit for sometimes... found out our eldest ate about 10 foods he would not touch at home whilst away at cub camp without a murmur.
If my eldest couldn't ride he'd never get over to see his mates a couple of miles away or I would be a taxi.
Gives kids some independence and an opportunity to explore.
My lad - 3.5 with his proud dad, i almost cried when he first jumped on and started peddalling - balance bikes help.... a lot
Be careful what you wish for! When my son was 5 I bought him a brand new shiny bike and he wasn't the least bit interested. Learned in his own good time when he was about 8. He's now 14, the same height as me and can pinch my bikes!
My eldest has already claimed rights on my chameleon as I got a new stooge the other day. His bmx will no doubt be up for sale soon. Just need to teach him how a bike lock works 😯
It's just a bike.
And you're here, why? 😯
It's a passport to freedom. Friends 5 or miles away can be reached without the stultifying presence of mum or dad. (Girlfriends in the future too).
could it be the pressure of you teaching him to ride?
Why not take him to a BC Go Ride Club? I took my twin girls and they were riding by their second or third "lesson". Once we got the basics we stopped going as it was an inconvenient time (Saturday mornings) and instead we had "family rides" instead.
You could always bribe him with something he likes on the way home?
I don't normally agree with going down the bribes route but sometimes if it makes things easier/happen then so be it.
I didn't learn to ride until I was 22. Didn't do me any harm and being 'useful' and 'theother kids can do it' are hardly reasons to force anybody to do it.
It's great to be able to ride a bike but hardly worth pushing a youngster in to doing it so you can be be 'proud'.
Love that.... Apart from the fire our lessons were very similar.
You could always bribe him with something he likes on the way home?I don't normally agree with going down the bribes route but sometimes if it makes things easier/happen then so be it.
Can't believe I got almost to the bottom before I saw the bribery post! 😯
Whilst I haven't bribed my kids, this clearly is a case where you need to provide an incentive. £10 notes have a miraculous ability to grab a child's attention!
Phew - this post makes me feel better at not getting my two riding properly until they were seven (we made the mistake of getting them slightly too big bikes for their sixth birthday which put them off for a bit I think).
It's great though now - their 'go to' thing is to ask if they can ride their bikes with me 🙂
I was 30 when I learnt to ride a bike. Having a child was what pushed me to learn. My son is now 12 and although he can ride a bike he has no interest in riding. I don't think you can force them to be honest but wish my son would realise what he is missing.
I think there comes a point for some kids where they're embarrassed about not being able to ride a bike and so choose to avoid even trying to save face. I think this is what's happened with my nephew (who's also 8). The trick is not to make a big deal out of it.