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My 18 year old son leaves for a gap year tomorrow morning. He's going to spend the next 9 months in Montreal before returning for university in London starting in 2019.
When my first son left home, it was only to London, and he is very communicative anyway, so between FaceTime and the proximity, I don't think I felt his absence as much. But for my second, it is really hitting home. He's a cyclist and works at the LBS, so he both takes care of all of our family bikes and spends a lot of time with me watching GCN. He's also quite funny, even if he acts like an idiot sometimes.
But now he's leaving home. He'll learn to ski, spend his winter nights skating at the local rink, working at a bar or Mountain Equipment Coop or somewhere, and drinking the best beer on that side of the Atlantic. So I'm happy for him. But man, the passing of time is hard to take sometimes.
So this is a simultaneous happy/sad/wistful post.
Words of comfort/hilarity/ridicule/whatever welcome.
9 months?
He's coming back with a baby he "adopted"
Only six to go ......
I personally have no idea how my parents prepared themselves for this.
I am absolutely dreading my best friend leaving ... and he's only just gone 9...
I'd sorta assumed that preparing for it is just something that would happen over the years...
I am absolutely dreading my best friend leaving … and he’s only just gone 9…
I’d sorta assumed that preparing for it is just something that would happen over the years…
Don't worry. The teenage years ARE the preparation!
Who cares, SKIING HOLIDAY!
Obvs by that i mean you can go and visit him, and it'll be awesome.
Mmm Canadian honey beer...
Hopefully his bike is better than yours and he’s leaving it with you.
I am absolutely dreading my best friend leaving … and he’s only just gone 9…
I feel the same... but like @scotroutes said I'm sure I'll change my mind after a few teenage years!
@SaxonRider what about planning a skiing/mtb trip out there? You don't have to stay with him/cramp his independence/style but you could meet up for a few days?
Feel for you. Always been very close with my son. He's 14 now and still my best buddy. Having him leave for 9 months would be a real wrench.
Yes, feel for you too, my lad is 6 now... I have this to come.
What I would say is that you have done a great job bringing him up in that he feels capable as an 18 year old to do that. What an adventure... everyone's a winner in this situation...
My youngest has just gone back for his 2nd year but my eldest who put off going to Uni, left last week. She is 22 now but quite a home-bird. We miss her a lot (we miss him too but he is close by (Liverpool) whilst she is in Teeside!) I even have lunch with my son occasionally as I work in Liverpool 🙂
Anyway she is home tonight 🙂
For those with younger kids you can never imagine being away from them but as they get older and become more independent you adjust subconsciously. Its heartbreaking in one way but you come to terms with it quite quickly.
Our son aged 19 is only an hour away in Manchestah but we miss him badly. The second year is a little easier than the first and it's also made easier by knowing that he's having an absolutely brilliant time.
Only six to go……
Bloody Catholics.
He's going to have a blast. Remind him you're there in case he needs a chat / cash and don't stress if he doesn't call.
Don't worry, he'll return. And he'll bring the biggest bag of dirty washing you've ever seen with him*
*My mum still comments on this.
Sounds like a fabulous adventure he’s embarking on.
Thats what I’d take from it.
IHNK
My 18 year old son leaves tomorrow
I feel for you.
My kids are 11 and 9 and they are (despite occasional hiccups) my best friends. My eldest is willful, intellectual and her antics keeps us all on our toes whereas her younger brother son is easy-going, athletic and, in recent years, my perpetual cycling companion with the two of us travelling the country competing, training or just riding our bikes for fun.
They said that having kids would make time pass more quickly and, while the first year didn't feel this way (I'm not really a baby sort of person!) I would give nearly anything to slow down the passage of time and delay their inevitable departure from our daily lives which feels to be racing towards us at breakneck speed.
Once, perhaps, I would have looked forward to regaining our independence but not any more and I already know that when the time comes for them to fly the nest, we'll both be in bits. The kids, on the other hand, will be fine with it and I suppose that's how life it supposed to be. Our job is to get them ready for the world and I will make sure that, when the time comes, they are ready to embrace it even though it will tear me to bits.
*sniffle*
And here's me worrying how I will feel when our two (9 yr olds) go for a two-night residential with school next week. 🙂
This is what you raised them for isn't it? I'd be proud.
EDIT oh wait, are you going to lose a discount at the LBS? In that case, I feel your pain.
Our second if off to Uni tomorrow, seems to be the latest freshers week in the country. Wish me luck with London traffic and trying to park outside for unloading.
I think my son has already had us both in training for when he eventually leaves home as we hardly see the little ( even though he is now 6'2 ) bugger anyway ..
When he is not in his room on PS4 ..he is out with his mates or working in the kitchen on one of his 3 nights at the local pub / hotel ..
I've lost him as a riding buddy ..(hopefully he will come back to it) ..so the only time I get to chat is when my "dads taxi" service is put to use ..
We can't really complain about his school work as he seems to be doing ok ..and has a career path mapped out in the renewable energy sector through his sister's partner once he turns 18 ..offshore ( if that's what he still wants to do ) ..
A course at Newcastle College next year to follow if he gets the required exam results ..
He is an extremely mature / bit of a lad 15 year old ..who sometimes drives me up the wall but we will both miss him terribly when he is gone ..not for a few years yet though ..
Could be worse you could be stuck with him at home, jobless, on drugs, depressed etc. Unfortunately quite common now-a-days!
Celebrate, encourage and enjoy his successes. Use social media, video calling (need help with a bike repair!) etc to be a part of it. When he comes back or you visit, try to do fun stuff (look forward to making an event of it) that's easy for you all to enjoy, when you're not under the same roof!
I've got two you can borrow, will drop em round
My eldest comes back from Nepal on Tuesday and goes straight back to his second year of uni - if I'm lucky I'll grab dinner with him and see him in a. few weeks - I'm not sure how me and the Mrs will cope when our daughter goes next year!