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The guy whistling a nice happy tune is [i]always[/i] a baddy so that later on you'll know something bad will happen and there will be a jarring difference between the murder/stabbing/nastiness and the cheerful happy whistling tune
Hugh Grant as a dopey englishman.
the fat , cheerful one who lags at the back will be the first to die
listen to the slow cello music and run like ****.!!!
Unlimited shots,coming out of 30 round Magazine..
2 cops, one gets killed by the baddies giving the other one reason for revenge.
The unknown faceless security guard... Enjoy your 5/10 seconds in the movie before you die horribly.
A couple that suddenly find happiness together. One of them is about to die.
Any American teenager engaging in any sexual activity is going to die at the hands of a mad man. If the hanky panky is taking place in a cabin then the death will likely involve power tools.
The leading man is an expert in operating all forms of transport. trials bike yep like a pro, DC10? not a problem, space shuttle? I'm bringing her home.
"we're not so different you and I" - Villain to Hero
drunk tramp sees something amazing - looks at the bottle of cheap booze in his hand and throws it away
Last day on the job = dead by the end of act 1 "Mendozaaaaaa!"
Car chase through an "ethnic" location - a fruit cart will be overturned
A car containing our heros crashes and comes to a halt.
If our heros leap from the car and start runnning >>>>> the car will explode
If our heros remain seated >>>>>> the car will not explode
love scene - its has no real purpose but we will put it in anyway
Often associated with the pointless boob shot
As above but you get to see ladies breasts as well.
Shawshank redemption WTF Is that ending - Its straight out of a fairytale as all films must resolve to something happy no matter how preposterous
People getting shot bt a hand gun and being thrown backwards through the air.
People being shot multiple times, but they're still comin'.....
The 10 second bomb timer that takes at least 2 mins to get to zero
The 'dead' person with just enough life left in him for a resurgent attack, a minute or so later.
The 'dead' person who comes back to life when someone tells them 'I love you'
Crappy Police cars can keep up with modern supercars, all the while sliding all over the place like they are on an ice rink.
Not sure it's a cliche, but squealing tyres; on gravel.
L-shaped bed linen, that allow a man's chest to be uncovered while preserving his lady's modesty
[i]As above but you get to see ladies breasts as well.[/i]
Apart from the top paid celeb actresses who get to have sex with their bras on. Yeah, cos you wouldn't want to see their boobies when in bed with them eh?
as all films must resolve to something happy no matter how preposterous
What about Kes and that bastard Judd 🙁
The plumber who is fixing the kitchen sink always ends up having sex with the housewife.
Every window in Paris has a view of the Eiffel Tower.
Everybody who coughs in a period drama dies as a result of it.
A car door will protect you in a gun fight.
Black guy
Every film with the words Nicholas and Cage on the poster is rubbish.
leaving las vegas?
con air? (well maybe it's not great but it's still a pretty good movie)
I urge you to reconsider your opinion.
I have. Hence the quick edit.
Aliens who are smart enough to build massive interstellar spacecraft and death rays, yet are outfoxed by strategies not much more sophisticated than "Hey, look over there!"
Massive alien space ships which always have one tiny flaw unnoticed by their super-intelligent designers but spotted by the plucky humans, which makes the whole thing blow up.
Shawshank redemption WTF Is that ending - Its straight out of a fairytale as all films must resolve to something happy no matter how preposterous
Dead Man In A Shawshank Sewer Pipe wouldn't have had the same ring on the billboards. 🙂
The Americans beat the Axis powers on their own.
Paramedics will, without anyone asking, always pause mid way through loading an injured person into an ambulance long enough for someone to tell them "hang on, don't you dare die on me!"
Cars that have fifteen gears for dramatic car chases.
^^this is the best one.
cars in which an extra, previously unavailable, gear can be suddenly engaged to overtake another car you're racing.
No one locks cars. Ever.
In period dramas why are city streets not awash with horse piss?
the number of extremely attractive people that get involved in this kind of this shit !
Goodie with pistol, on the move (forward rolls etc) methodically picks people off, while baddies with rifles, prone or braced, keep [i]just[/i] missing.
American High school kids clearly in their early thirties
Anything to do with computers will be massively WRONG
the bad guy having captured the good guy, instead of just shooting him dead will then launch into a 10 minute speech giving the good guy enough time to escape. I mean look - really, you had a high powered laser to hand but no gun
[img] https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTUy31UccXDqSftOu5dRDTYasHAonMjGSNilAFWvhDT1_XZt6eN [/img]
And on the subject of lasers, those brightly coloured beams happen because the light reflects of particles in the air - in space there are no particles in the air. That's because there's no air so sound can't carry so why do things go BOOM when they explode in space. And American cars that roll once and explode. And back to space, all those stars streaming by when they're going fast, do you know how far away they are, more than 1/2 a mile. and a parsec is a unit of distance not speed, it's the distance at which the orbit of the earth subtends 1 angular second, about 3.3 light years, so no Han Solo you did not do any runs in 12 parsecs you bullshitting bullshitter.
oh and let's not forget falling off motorbikes/jumping out of moving cars yielding nothing more than a light scratch or a torn shirt. try it, I did, it's not like that at all
and while we're on this what about all those aliens with their awesome faster than light blow things up with lasers in space making sound carry across a vacuum technology, yet somehow seem to have neglected to invent clothes
it's the distance at which the orbit of the earth subtends 1 angular second, about 3.3 light years, so no Han Solo you did not do any runs in 12 parsecs you bullshitting bullshitter.
😆 that is exactly what Jabba the hut should have said to Han Solo
There's also no sound so why do things go BOOM when they explode in space.
Ooh, yes. Alien had the tagline "In Space, No-one Can Hear You Scream."
But you can hear the Nostromo's sodding engines rumbling in the opening scene!
oh oops i have been getting carried away with this.
calm down dear, it's only a cliche.
BigButSlimmerBloke, I'm not sure Groundhog Day was a cliche. 😀
GrahamS - MemberCars that have fifteen gears for dramatic car chases.
Also, the fact that all vehicles in a car chase go at exactly the same speed, unless one of them gets a bit ahead at which point the one behind goes faster. See especially: James Bond's aston martin, Ethan Hunt's Triumph Speed Triple which is inexplicably not faster than a pickup truck.
Quarter mile drag races take a minute, obviously.
Anything to do with computers will be massively WRONG
in matrix reloaded the bit where trinity is hacking into the power station is actually proper commands and uses a known exploit.
If you exploded a rock in space then the dust would reflect a laser beam..... just sayin... 😉
Ethan Hunt's and [insert baddie's name here]'s bikes both went into the pits to swap to knobblies when then hit the dirt. I imagine them standing next to each other, inspecting their fingernails, talking about the traffic on the way, a bit like in the Kit Kat ad, before resuming the frantic chasing.
The final fist fight between hero and main bad guy will [i]always[/i] happen in high place, eg on top a crane/tower/bridge/scaffolding etc etc
I liked Pacific Rim, in which the male and female lead spend the entire film smouldering at each other, then in the end don't kiss, and just look sort of awkward instead. Groundbreaking stuff 😆
BigButSlimmerBloke - Memberand a parsec is a unit of distance not speed, it's the distance at which the orbit of the earth subtends 1 angular second, about 3.3 light years, so no Han Solo you did not do any runs in 12 parsecs you bullshitting bullshitter.
There's some sort of horrendous fanboi fix for this, I'm not going to look it up because I'm already enough of a nerd.
BigButSlimmerBloke - Memberand a parsec is a unit of distance not speed, it's the distance at which the orbit of the earth subtends 1 angular second, about 3.3 light years, so no Han Solo you did not do any runs in 12 parsecs you bullshitting bullshitter.
IIRC, George Lucas's word on this is that yes, Han was trying to bullshit Luke and Obi-Wan, who he thought were yokels. But as Northwind says the Expanded Universe has defined the Kessel Run as a navigational challenge, so a clever pilot can complete it in a shorter distance than others can.
Kessel run? Is that on Strava?
Not in movies, but cliché answers to cliché questions posted in STW forums..........
Ducks head and runs.
"we're not so different you and I" - Villain to Herodrunk tramp sees something amazing - looks at the bottle of cheap booze in his hand and throws it away
Last day on the job = dead by the end of act 1 "Mendozaaaaaa!"
Car chase through an "ethnic" location - a fruit cart will be overturned
A car containing our heros crashes and comes to a halt.
If our heros leap from the car and start runnning >>>>> the car will explode
If our heros remain seated >>>>>> the car will not explode
Isn't that basically a summary of all Moore era James Bond?
If you want to watch something where the ending is a little more unpredictable:
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Bizarre arbitrary deadlines 24 and 48 hours and such. I mean you do get these in real life for mundane reports, but if someones life or career is at stake I think you would probably agree to see it through for as long as it takes.
Kessel run? Is that on Strava?
It will be by 11:00pm on Monday!
Tarantino films...some good looking actors, an actor used to be uncool in a career reviving cool role, snappy dialogue, violence, some snappy dialogue during violence, some violence during snappy dialogue. Add some cool retro music and get the critics to herald it as a return to form....repeat until you become the cinematic equivalent of Oasis.
You're riding 40 light years over the weekend Harry?
In the movies everyone can go for days without visiting the lav unless its to have a fight/sex/some drugs.
Anyone bald = likely to die
Anyone with English accent = bad guy
Anyone bald with English accent so likely to do both the opposite happens and they get to control things.
bencooper - MemberAliens who are smart enough to build massive interstellar spacecraft and death rays, yet are outfoxed by strategies not much more sophisticated than "Hey, look over there!"
And also, these vastly technologically advanced races have managed to become so vastly technologically advanced despite having hands [i]slightly[/i] lacking dexterity...
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Yeah buddy, try putting the circlip back on an avid caliper/wallpapering the spare room/warming up the wife with [b]those[/b] things.
On the other hand(*), we're not particularly equipped to tear someone's spine out at the throat.
(* - please yourself.)
No matter what the threat, Tom Cruise's plan to save the world will involve a little rock climbing, a little abseiling and some ripping around on a motorbike.
BigButSlimmerBloke - Memberand a parsec is a unit of distance not speed, it's the distance at which the orbit of the earth subtends 1 angular second, about 3.3 light years, so no Han Solo you did not do any runs in 12 parsecs you bullshitting bullshitter.
Except he WAS bullshitting about distance
the Kessel Run was normally an 18-parsec route. A popular travel route for smuggling operations, the Kessel Run went around the Maw, a cluster of black holes.
Han's claim to have made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs was therefore not just a boast about his ship's speed, but also his skills and daring as a pilot. Han shaved a third of the distance -- and precious time -- off the normal route by flying dangerous close to the black holes.
Edit - to slow 🙁
A nice person that's dying can always be brought back to life by cardiac massage.
Shermer: excellent film, and an ending that's just.... awesome. Left me sitting there blankly for a while afterwards.
I get annoyed by the (generally bare knuckle) fights. If someone kicked you that hard in the stomach, you'd be rolling around on the floor gasping for breath, not up and jabbing him in the face. And the fighters would have broken fists.
A "generic European" in a film will always speak excellent English except for the basic phrases which will clearly state his/her nationality
Eg "si señor", "oui Monsieur"
Time bombs - countdown always stopped in the last second.
Computer screens going beep beep beep whenever stuff appears on the monitor.. Have you EVER heard a real computer do that??
The broken laws of physics.
The fragile glass windows and matchwood bannisters or railings.
The musicians playing the incidental music that must be nearby but you never see.
The monsters that refuse to die; even when killed many times over.
And the lack of urination or defaecation.
Car chases where half way through it cuts to close up of the accelerator, and [b][i]that's when[/i][/b] the driver puts his foot down......
"Lasers" which appear to be some kind of neon tube projectiles flying through space. What makes this even more annoying is how the plucky good guys tend to be able to dodge these "lasers" ❓
Hacking in films tends to involve someone connecting their laptop/tablet/mobile phone to any electrical device whatsoever with a pair of crocodile clips 🙄
And the lack of urination or defaecation.
You're not watching the right films.
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There's always a parking space right outside the destination
All motorbikes are 4-cylinder 4-strokes
Computer screens always use massive fonts
Wrong'uns alwaysdrive a Jaaag.
What makes this even more annoying is how the plucky good guys tend to be able to dodge these "lasers"
Yeah laser guns that shoot really slow lasers that can be dodged or easily deflected.
Have you tried just using actual lead bullets?
Have you tried just using actual lead bullets?
We return to this picture from earlier:
[img] https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTUy31UccXDqSftOu5dRDTYasHAonMjGSNilAFWvhDT1_XZt6eN [/img]
Never use a simple gun to kill someone when a hugely convoluted and drawn out method is available instead.
Pointless sex scene but the woman always keeps just her bra on. Wtf?
Just watched The Mist thanks to the earlier recommendations - blimey that was good! To think I've been confusing it with The Fog and thinking I'd already seen it, good job STW!
That Mr King's a sick puppy isn't he?. Nice seeing some regulars from other adaptations of his novels too. Was there his normal cameo though, I didn't notice him.
Update:
The Kessel Run.
http://app.strava.com/segments/7427092
I did it in 1:06:33 which is considerably less than 12 parsecs.
"[url= http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/ ]Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own[/url]"
Fuel that's ignited with a cigarette.
Bullet proof car doors, non bullet proof fuel tanks.
A wheelieing motorbike is bullet proof.
A rolling car will explode
No one eats, goes to the toilet or wears a condom. Bond could be riddled
The English bloke is [i]always[/i] the bad guy.
Unless the bad guy is Russian/North Korean.
And the lack of urination or defaecation.
Well, there's the scene in [i]The Long Kiss Goodnight[/i], when the once mumsy teacher turned ultra-sexy assassin, takes the fag off the fat kid sneaking a smoke out the back, who promptly pisses his pants...
Medical conditions that require antidotes or cures or they'll die within 12 hours...
11 hours and 59 minutes later .... organs failing, blood coming from nose, eyes rolled back.
Tap tap on the needle - injection
12 hours and 1 minute sitting up in bed saying phew that was close, drinking a nice cup of tea.
The quiet dowdy female best friend is always the hottest girl in school by the time it comes to the prom.
Not really a cliché, but the Wilhelm Scream is in more Hollywood films than one might realise:
Baddies that don't just shoot the goodies in the head.
They talk with an English accent ...
Then they are the baddies ....
Nobody has a crap 1st shag ...
Most Helicopter audio is a "huey" even if its not and they start really quickly.
The good guy and the bad guy inexplicably fail to be able to kill one another with all their hi-tec and/or heavy duty weaponry, and it will inevitably come down to long drawn out and cathartic unarmed fight between the two, in which the good guy will be beaten to within an inch of his life but then miraculously rally round and win.
When one actor says to another
"so, what you mean is..."
explanation of plot for the thickies in the audience... 😆