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My lad is 14 and is becoming a mouthy, awkward little so and so as so many do however my 10 year old is now taking his cues from the older one and becoming equally cheeky etc.
Collective punishment is apparently outlawed in the Geneva convention so has anyone got any other suggestions for reining in this behaviour? I wont be taking the Popes advice so non violent suggestions please..
Restrict WiFi.
Wifi privileges revoked +1
Get ready for the day when you tell him off and he tries to stare you down whilst standing toe to toe with you.It will happen 😀
It gets worse , be prepared .
Threaten them with one of these
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/06/barber-disciplines-kids-old-man-haircut
Herein lies all the answers.
If you have a BT HomeHub you can just do it at will for his device(s) only.
Our teenager is generally pretty likeable, so we haven't had to do it much, but the beauty of this particular consequence is that it can be used in many situations. Most recently...
- 'Me and my friends all talk sarcastically to our parents. You'll just have to get used to it'
- 'OK that's fine. By the way, I don't share my WiFi with sarcastic children. You'll just have to get used to it'
......
- 'OK Dad, point taken'.
I think restriction of privileges is the best way. They don't like it, they learn give and take, and it reminds them how much they have.
I used mac address filtering to disable wifi access after bedtime for our eldest as he couldn't be trusted but it was useful for selective blocking as well.
I was in this situation with my then 15 y.o son. He was given a warning of what would happen. He didn't heed it. So I removed his bedroom door for a week until he mellowed. He has been a positive angel ever since. He turns 18 next month and is now a thoroughly nice guy.
I can remember getting mouthy to my mum once (or twice...) A Dr Scholl wooden soled sandal was the projectile of choice on one occasion, a potato another time and I have no idea how many slaps I received. Times have changed but even I know just how unpleasant I could be so at the time my punishments were acceptable.
Ambrose !
I like the door idea.
I also recall parental retaliation which hurt ! Like yourself it was justly deserved in my book.
Try living with two daughters 17&15 and a wife. They keep asking me why I go out on my bike all the time go figure ladies. My daughters told me I couldn't take their phones off them as they had bought them with their own money so I removed their SIM card put my phone onto silent and away I went on the bike for an hour. Their behaviour was impeccable for the following two days which believe me is a great result
The haircut idea is excellent
Brilliant suggestions I've taken his phone before and he lost his mind, massive argument. I think the wifi idea is so much easier. Please keep them coming..
Isn't being a mouthy so-and-so a part of the job description?
Bet he's a darling at school.
This was a fantastic radio program about talking to children and why what they say isn't what they think it is.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05077ks
I'd recommend any parent spend half an hour listening to it.
Although easy to say and much harder to do, I try not to even bother arguing with mine.
This is the rule, this is the reason why, this is what will happen if you don't abide by it, your choice.
I've no objection to civilised discussion of course, you have to listen to them and consider their point of view, but only if it's put across in a civilised way. No tolerance of ****tishness.
impose conditions on him , in work life we have to obety certain rules and regimes, it will make him a better employee.
Show him respect, and expect it back, and always remember youre his dad, remind him of that.
They grow out of it - eventually. I do believe now my daughter's 31, she's stopped behaving like a teenager. I'm not sure the same can be said for my 33 year old son however...
Stereo out
TV out
Xbox etc out
I was ****ing terrible as a teen
Worked on me and then an ex army boxer Community Police officer also took me under his wing. Maybe a male family friend speaking to him one on one too?
Getting my retaliation in early, so to speak, how does that BT WiFi disabling thing work?
just this week had a episode with our 17yr old daughter. she went in the army at just 16 but hated it. 3 months later she came out. since then she has been a nightmare.
goes the collage now 4 days, not sure she always goes.
we was giving here £100 a month, to do the ironing, clean the house and stuff, it was not getting done, so we stopped the money.
since then she has got worse, staying out, not answering her phone to tell us where she is.
this week something happened and she went missing for 2 nights, so i txtd her that if she was not home at 7pm wednesday night, that i was gonna phone the police and report her missing. it worked. she came home.
we had a big serious talk to her, she told us her reasons, we took it on boeard, so hopefully thisngs will change.
i do hope so.
Ton if you told me to go to my room I'd run 8)
Getting my retaliation in early, so to speak, how does that BT WiFi disabling thing work?
Well on mine I just stick 'bthomehub.home' in the browser and it takes me to the settings. Then I use the admin password - which I have changed from the default one of course - to log into it, then I think it's called Access Control, which allows me to block the Internet access for any specific device between the hours I choose. So it goes off at 11pm anyway for her, but if required it gets turned off completely for her devices, or from 0430-0400 which is just as good.
careful - I did it a few years ago when my eldest started slamming hers.. Weighed a bloody ton and I nearly broke my back carrying the bugger down & then back up the stairsI like the door idea.
Should have just removed her door then.
You want to try working with your kids , its like having A ball n chain around your neck , and there never wrong .
As somebody said above, get a family freind or someone else he trusts to have a chat to him, young lad i know, abusive to parents he smashed his room up in a temper ,no door, and destroyed bed, chated to him, listened to him, fixed his door and explained it was on condition he hugged his mum and apologised, and tidied his room an hour latter he was tidying his room, and went down and hugged his mum,complete with tears.
Like adults most kids need strrangers to talk to and vent, just find someone to listen to him, we all have issues , kiiids dont yet fully realise the need to deal with issues , before they become major issues.
If I had a 15yo boy in 2015 who couldn't brute force or hack around a WiFi block from his dad I'd have bigger worries than his backchat.
she was far lighter, in retrospect I put the wrong one in the shed for a weekShould have just removed her door then.
😀
Enrol them into a martial arts class. Works wonders.
Restrict WiFi.
It's like turning a tortoise on it's back!
Just make him realise his actions upset you. That's what my parents did and it used to crush me when I stopped to think.
BT Home Hub Access is your friend. Log in, find devices, set times for access. Also make them earn privileges via chores, rather than keep taking them away. Start with nothing and work up. Mind you, PS3 controllers can be taken to work during the week 😈 . Console isn't much use without them.
silent treatment.. take the moral high ground 😀
Girl 18, lad 15.
Both great kids, but we do still get wee snippets of attitude. I think me and the missus are just as immature as them though, so when they go in their wee strops we basically rip the piss and act childish until they can't help but laugh! lol :-p
😈
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At 14 he is becoming a young man and has one hell of a lot going on both physically and physiologically. Spend an evening reading up on why teenagers are the way they are, I found it helpful.
Being a Dad often means you become the guy that meters out punishment, it can easily become a quite one dimensional relationship.
Change this up.
I'd try something like going for a bike ride with him, stop at a cafe and have a giant luxury hot chocolate, have some fun.
Talk to him about the fact his behavior is effecting his brother so you would appreciate it if he tried to be a little calmer.
Give him a hug.
Make it the start of the next phase of your relationship, he was a child for a while but he'll be a man a long time.
Good luck.
I was awful awful teen.
Fro 11-20 ish wild and out of control.
I ran away, abused substances, stole, fought, got arrested, threatened my folks; I was absolutely terrible.
We get on really well now,but it was a horrendous 9 years or so for them.
Our lad is almost 16 and apart from the slective deafness he's pretty user-friendly. He gets on very well with Mrs Gti on most things and with me on stuff related to bikes, cars and music. One thing I was always determined to avoid was belittling or insulting him because that creates resentment, as I well know from when Mrs Gti can't resist drpping one of her insults on me.
When things have comme unstuck for him I've also supported rather than belittled him - two bike crashes and a ski accident (hospital twice) and on the most recent crash he got hme and sat down and wept tears of shame and embarrassment - you can't chastise or mock your child when they are so upset.
you can't chastise or mock your child when they are so upset
Yea you can. 😈
This all sounds great disabling wifi etc but surely they've all got 3G? Which parents pay for... So there's a danger that gets hammered instead?
No devices with screens in bedrooms in our house