Mother and children moving 6+ hrs away

not a parent, but had come across this a while ago, so may or may not help, my limited understanding, what is in the best interests of the child.

https://www.familydivorcelawyer.co.uk/relocating-with-children-after-divorce-what-the-law-says/

kind of legal, as she isn't technically leaving the UK, mine did similar, moved from North Wales to Cumnock with her new husband.

I took it to court, I rushed mediation stating we didn't have enough time.

The judge being predictable sided with the mother, but it was agreed that both sides should travel to visit so we decided upon Lymm as a middle point.

School finishes at 1pm on a Friday so by about 4pm Friday I have met and collected my lad.

He is used to it now, but its a lot of car time, and I have no sympathy or the other side, now my lad has turned 16 he gets the train, which is more space and a bit of freedom. 

I was hoping they'd have to apply for a court order or get my approval in writing given it would reduce contact time significantly but that didn't seem to be the case 

there are steps you can take to try and prevent this - chap at work is going through it now over his daughter he looks after 50/50 with his ex. he had a temporary restraint placed on his ex from removing their daughter from the school without his agreement, which happened pretty quickly while they went through mediation and has taken further steps to try and prevent her being removed permanently. this all started ~ 6 months ago and they've just had a further decision which means the child can't be removed in the meantime pending social services report upon which magistrates will make a final decision in march. if she removes the child, takes her to show her accommodation or another school she'll be held in contempt of court. he's engaged a barrister to help with the court appearances.

hope everything works out for the best for you all.

my ex took our two to Newcastle, i lived in Northants at the time. I just got on with it and drove up twice a month to see my kids. Maintaining a relationship with them was more important to me than arguing the toss with her. 

hi mate, my ex is taking our 9 y.o son to live in Guernsey.  Planned for January.  Channel Islands requires written consent from the father.  I've said I'll give it to her subject to a few conditions including contact at least every 6 weeks (she has a 21 yo son in Manchester and has pledged to fly over every 6 weeks).

I've agonised over it but believe its in my sons best interests.  I don't feel I can force her to stay over here in an unhappy lifestyle.

At the minute I see him every weekend so its certainly not a current equal custody status quo.  If it was anywhere but channel islands I'd have more of an issue but I genuinely think he'll flourish there

When I split with my wife I demanded 50/50 with the kids so we have them week and week about.  This was written into the separation agreement along with a clause about with partner moving away.  Did you get a separation agreement and if so what’s in it?  I’d definitely be going back to that.  

thanks for the comments, I'm 50/50 if to go through solicitors, or just let it happen knowing it'll probably swing in her favour anyway and cost me a fortune to find out if going through the courts. I'd hate myself for this but there are flights from Bristol return about the same as petrol, I'd just have to sort transport and potentially find a campsite or something to sleep in overnight. 

At the moment I live 10 mins walk away and although my time is limited taking them to school every other day and having them at weekends we still keep that bond, I was looking at going up once a month and trying to sort something over school holidays but I'll see how this all pans out - its horrible being in the position when although this has not been my choice in the slightest you're still guilted into 'well it's your choice how often you visit if you cba' even though its 6-7hrs wasted time on the road away 

there's no agreement in place currently, we were never married, so far its all been delt with pretty fairly between us

thanks for the comments, I'm 50/50 if to go through solicitors, or just let it happen

Yes, must be a really tough situation for you, personally I'd be erring on the letting it happen because being at loggerheads with your ex won't be helpful in the short or long term, but let her know you really aren't happy with it & that she'll need to give you some slack/help out by meeting half way in the future. Best of luck with it all.

I'm not sure half way is an option, the last thing I want is for my lads to spend a substantial amount of their childhood in the car, no doubt stick in traffic

With no marriage, no agreement then you can forget the legal bit.  And, if you wereto get a new job elsewhere, would you take it or would you sit at home unemployed to keep it legal?

Obviously this is going to be a big change and I'd focus on working how this is practically going to work because what works now won't in the future and everyone needs to understand this

I had some similar experience a long while ago now.  I have two children both of whom I am still close to.  After the divorce my ex moved to different area. It's roughly five hours drive (and 2  ferries)away from where I lived at the time being skint I could'nt have gone to a lawyer anyway. I am not sure I would have done even if I could have afforded it. Visits became monthly for a long period at least six years then a bit more frequent when the kids were in their middle teens. Has it affected my relationship with them yes  very much so, my daughter took to her step father, and my son did not .HoweverI am still "dad" to both of them and they're now in their mid 30s healthy working etc. 

Posted by: scratch

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there's no agreement in place currently, we were never married, so far its all been delt with pretty fairly between us

I've no personal experience of this sort of situation but I'd try everything I could to keep it amicable.