[Closed] Most embarrassing medical moment?

never put your finger where you wouldnt put your cock
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Well I was once making some cucumber sandwiches naked....

I had a " Casanova " fracture [ heelbone.called such because it is caused by a fall of around fifteen feet onto a hard surface. I other words around bedroom window height. On the one had I had a fracture on the other the doctors pointed and laughed .

The only time in my life I have been constipated, I panicked and went to A&E (I know, I know). Anyway, they gave me some suppositories and laxatives and sent me on my way. As I left, the nurse who had been "dealing" with me said, in a very loud voice so everyone could hear, "don't forget, shove them right up boss!" 😆

snapped banjo string when 1st courting my wife. messy.

It involved a nineteen year-old IHN, an examination for a potential hernia, two female student doctors and the preceding walk to the clinic on a [b]very[/b] cold day...

In for a quick op under local to fix the banjo string. Lying starkers on operating table, surgeon, anesthetist, 4 x nurses around me. Very cold room, a little apprehensive. Mini Houns went in to hiding. Female anesthetist approached mini Houns with the syringe "just a little prick" everyone went silent, she looked mortified..... I removed the tension with "can you blame him?! He's terrified!" 😳 😆

Lying in the hospital bed after breaking my back snowboarding in Bulgaria, the nurse walked over and laid a bedpan beside me. She pointed at it and said "Pishy, Pishy"....like that was going to happen. After about 10 minutes of her trying to convince me to go in this thing, (I was still wearing my full snowbarding kit, just without the jacket and boots), she and one of the cleaning ladies came over and shouted "Pishy Pishy" at me again. When this didn't work, the nurse grabbed my tadger and started pumping my bowels like a bellow. That didn't work either, so both of them rolled up their sleeves (no gloves), and fitted the tube.
A couple of days later and I was reeking to high heaven, still in the same clothes. I had a pack of wet wipes in my bag and had managed to convince one of the nurses to bring it over to me. When she saw I was trying to wash myself, she and a couple of orderlies decided to dive in and help. They stripped me naked, and washed me with the wet wipes, in the middle of the afternoon....in the middle of the ward...no privacy curtains...during visiting hours.
I think it was the same day that they decided that because I hadn't done a No.2, it needed to be done there and then. So one nurse rolled me partly over, whilst the other one wielded a sort of shovel shaped cardboard bedpan, attempting to ram it under my arse cheeks. There was a lot of screaming coming from me at this point as it was all a bit hurty. That's when one of the other patients came over, shouting at the nurses and orderlies. They went away and came back with a giant pampers nappy.
A day later, my insurance company finally got me transferred out of the state hospital in Sofia into a private clinic. As I awaited the transfer, one of the nurses came over with a pair of pyjama bottoms ( I assume to hide the nappy), as she turned away to speak to someone, I got a glimpse of the rear of the pyjamas with their yellow-brown urine/shit stained pattern extending down half their length. I was still wearing them, the same nappy, the same dirty catheter and the same dirty canulae in my arm when the air ambulance crew finally came and rescued me on the fifth day after the accident.
I was flown home to Edinburgh airport in a wee 8 seater Lear air ambulance then transferred to Forth Valley Hospital, a place of Angels and Professional, well funded staff.

I love the NHS and won't hear anything said against it! 🙂

Starting to see the funny side of everything that happened now though!

Have told this before in various snip threads but here goes again.

I was 'lucky' enough to be sent by my PCT to a private provider for my vasectomy. Nice tea and biscuits in the waiting room, good magazines, not too shabby... i was quite enjoying the experience.

Then your name's called, and you go into the ante-room, which is basically a small corridor between the waiting room and the actual room, with a chair in. "Strip off your bottom half" said the nurse, "and when you're ready come through. Oh, but leave your socks on, the room's cold"

So problem one is the walk of shame; a human version of Donald Duck with socks on. Where do you put your hands? In front, like a footballer in a wall? Proudly by your side in a 'Hey ladies, look what I've got!' pose? I don't remember but it didn't matter because the female doctor wanted to shake my hand anyway, and shaking hands with someone while having your knob hanging out isn't easily bluffed.

Next problem is once on the operating bed. A sheet is laid over your nethers. A sheet with a carefully stitched hole in it. Through which wee jonny and his mates are now pulled. I'm now laying on my back in a room with three women looking on and the ONLY thing to look at is my shrivelling cock (she was right about the socks, but I've only just now realised maybe she meant Red Hot Chili Peppers style) At which point a pot of paint and a brush is produced, and holding it by the end to keep it out of the way (not the brush...) my meat and two are now liberally painted with antiseptic.

I've blanked the rest, suffice to say after having your cock and balls painted while people watch on, they can do whatever else they like as long as it's a/ fast and b/ avoids eye contact.

Not me but a good friend - after years of serious back problems he was being checked over by a female doctor (he was wearing nothing but a gown). He was laying on his front as she checked his back then she asked him to turn over and he said he couldn't.

She said 'sorry, does it hurt'?

He said, 'err, no, not that'.

So she replies 'Ahh, okay, I understand. I'll come back in a few minutes'.

🙂

I once was given some wooden beads of varying sizes to put in one hand, and had to examine my plumbs in the other then tell the doctor which one they were on the scale of tiny to massive.

Being a teenager and young (fit) lady doctor I wasn't sure to overestimate but then I wasn't sure what normal was so didn't want to end up being rushed into surgery for inflamed bollocks or something 😆

theotherjonv - Member

😆

Stoner -
never put your finger where you wouldnt put your cock

Oh gawd. I think I know her.

Ive survived penile cancer & the resulting op. Any vestige of modesty has long left the building!! 😯

I was 'lucky' enough to be sent by my PCT to a private provider for my vasectomy. Nice tea and biscuits in the waiting room, good magazines, not too shabby... i was quite enjoying the experience.

Great review on Snip Advisor.

Great review on Snip Advisor.

That made me giggle randomly in a quiet office!

Ooh - I have along, long list of moments. I’m just not sure you lot could cope... 😉

Rachel

Colonoscopy was less than enjoyable. Horrific pain and room full of med students with my bare arse in full view. Passed out due to the pain and woke up in the recovery room 😳

Oh gawd. I think I know her.

Louise?

Broken back was a fun time. Many moments, but 2 that stick out:

1. While lying, totally immobile in a French hospital bed and wearing only a hospital gown, it was apparently routine for medical personnel to walk into the room and, without introducing themselves, grab me by the bollocks and ask if I could feel it. My Mrs reckons they weren't actually doctors, someone had just set up a stall outside the door.

2. I wasn't able to bend at the waist, at all, for several weeks. This made getting dressed somewhat difficult. As a result, the local nurse, on letting herself into my house (as nurses tend to do), walked in on me naked from the waist down, with my boxers and shorts on the floor, with ropes looped through each leg while I tried to pull them up. Cue the question of "Are you coping OK with this?" ("Yes, I'm fine, but since you're here, please pull my pants up for me!"). System had actually worked pretty well up to that point, I'd just got it tangled on that occasion!

Only once, they say if you're really in trouble you don't care, and I didn't... at the time.

8 years ago I smashed myself up badly at Afan, arrived at the Princess of Wales broken and bleeding, spent about an hour being seen and prodded by a long line of Docs and Surgeons before heading off to surgery, I was a bit 'confused' half from Morphine half from Concussion and Shock, but as I'm being wheeled in I was dying for a slash, bursting - I begged them to let me go to the toilet - which wasn't really practical given the state of me - the guy wheeling me in said not to worry, they can take care of all that when I'm out but I was convinced I'd piss myself on 'the slab' and would be embarrassed and was getting a bit upset...

So, stopped in that little room before you go in, everyone, about 10 of them, stopped, a male and slightly camp chap, took hold of my 'chap' and thumbed it into a cardboard bottle, thumbed because I've always been 'a grower, not a shower' and also given the state of me and blood loss - it was almost inverted - NOTHING, NOT A TRICKLE. They Waited, no one said anything, eyes rolled, he tucked me away and that's the last I remember of it.

After I broke my hip I found I couldn't pee into the container laying down. Everything just seized up as soon as I tried despite there being pints of wee in my bladder so they threatened to catheterise me.

I asked if I could stand up and try and they agreed but for the first couple of days I couldn't stand on one leg without using two crutches due to the morphine so I had to ask a nurse to hold the container while I pee'd into it. I still blush now thinking about it.

I think that we can all agree that in our most embarrassing moments the medical staff are ace! Can't be an easy job

Also had the snapped banjo string. That was a fun few minutes stood infront of the doctor with my pants round my ankles. My mate who gave me a lift down to the surgery thought it was hilarious though.

Also lying there, pants down being given a good grope after finding a worrying lump. That wasn't embarrassing though, the terror of what I might be told at the end did away with all that.

Having rarely troubled my doctors (not been in 12 years) i had 3 visits in one year which required them to fondle my nut sack on each occassion. What made it worse was that none of my ailments had anything to do with my nether regions! It was a lean year on the romance stakes so it was at least nice that someone other than me got to play with them 🙂

After surviving a nasty motorcycle crash and waking up in hospital smelling of petrol and finding my lovely mug covered in dressings I thought “what else could possibly be wrong with me?”
I discovered that I had been drifting in and out of consciousness for a couple of days and everyone was justifiably more interested in keeping me alive rather than worrying about the state of “the gentleman’s tackle” down below.
Apparently the petrol tank had burst open and soaked my lower body (luckily no fireball as we are not in the USA). You can well imagine the state of the “pecker” after being soaked in petrol and not being cleaned off for several days. It made things look as though they had been out in the midday sun for about a week. Yes, he was all red with dry cracked flesh – and generally not looking his best.
It was decided by the medical staff that the youngest female trainee nurse should be dispatched to attend to the said appendage. The dry peeling skin needed to be removed and cream rubbed in – as a seventeen year-old lad I had no trouble standing to attention as I spied the whole of the medical staff from that floor observing proceedings….

Very Singing Detective biggee.

Lie back and think of Pythagoras.

All I can add is as a nurse I have been on the other side of a few of these type of incidents. Keeping a straight face is professional but you should hear what we say when you can't see us.

One of my friends is a district nurse, and recently had to attend to a fella in his home who's catheter was blocked and he was unable to pee. She was caught up on a couple of previous calls, so when she got to his place he was, pretty literally, bursting, and in a lot of pain.

So, she took out the blocked catheter and all that pressure was released. All over her. "Like a firehose" apparently and whilst it was happening the chap was groaning with relief, but when he realised what had happened he was mortified 🙂

Nothing compared to some of the above, but I had a colonoscopy and the camera malfunctioned halfway to its destination. They tried again, but my tenderised arse internals had had enough by that point 🙁 seeing your bare arse get closer, closer and then disappear on a video screen was a tad embarrassing too

Repetitive strain injury . . . in my wrist. 😳

(Strimmer related, honest.)

having had loads of tests, and then surgery, for prostate cancer a few years ago I can empathise with many of these incidents.

Again, big heads up to the medics who make it all possible 🙂

Related - got abused by a NHS worker once.

Perineal abscess (*extra hole in the arse - ho hum), just back home after op, so was getting visited daily by a nurse at home to help change dressing. (*I was about 50 but in good shape - thanks bikes and hockey) anyway the nurse turned up, female, cheeky smile, mid 50s, in a soft top sports car, in she comes, no time for coffee, I had to assume the position - shreddies down, bent forward - she changed the dressing, then the cheeky sod copped a feel and said fine firm buttocks young man....

On holiday in Spain, was getting frisky with a local lady in my hotel room, when I noticed the bed sheets were changing colour from white to red.

The lady screamed and legged it into the bathroom thinking she was about to die.

Me in the mean time realised the problem was my banjo string, decided to wrap it up with a pillow case.

The lady returned and said she would leave and seek me some help.

So there I was lay in bed with a pillow case covering my manhood which was slowly going red!

After what felt like a lifetime (I was drunk), this man knocked on the door and mumbled something Spanish, me being a Brit thought you look like a Dr and decided to unwrap my red pillow case standing covered in blood in fromt of him, pointing to the problem...

It was a cleaner!

& my lady never returned 🙂

I was seeing a rather attractive chiropractor and having my back massaged . I started to feel as if I had a big fart on the way so I asked her to stop for a moment as something was happening below the waist . She stopped , I didn't fart but when I got home it occurred to me that she must have thought that I meant I was getting a hard on . Next week I decided not to ignore it so I told her that I meant I was going to fart and not that I was getting a hard on and we both laughed and we're both a little embarrassed .

That's brilliant ^

I can imagine you walking home and think "oh crap she must have thought..."

Two student nurses sent in to remove stitches from my scrotum. To be fair more nerve wracking than embarrassing. I'm not sure who was sweating most.

So we need to start a poll -

Who has not snapped their banjo string?

Mine went in the 1970s

Couple of guitar strings and a viola string, but never a banjo string.

Many years ago when a student go to hospital appointment to have lymph node in groin prodded. Old male Dr has a rummage says its fine and nothing to worry about. He then says that he has a student dr and its important for her to examine a normal lymph node. I say yeah no problem so I sit in my pants on the bed and wait. In walks a bloody stunning young lady. All was going very well she even warmed her hands before going for a feel in my pants. Then she looked at me and exclaimed "oh, its not very big is it!"

I had to walk around QA in a 5 year olds girls dress , whilst pushing my trolly as the nurses delivered me to the wrong operating theater and buggered off.
They got out off the lift on the wrong floor, so one of the theater staff helped me to get to where I needed to be.

This was after about 5 nurses in pre -op all decided to check out my gentlemans area as the surgeon hadn't 'drawn on me ' with a sharpie.
As it was keyhole surgery it would have been a very small drawing.

Well mine was a Fistulla & these things are usually on the sheriffs badge as was mine. Put of going to the Doc's for long enough before I MTFUP'd.

Yes it was an attractive young Lady GP prob about 5 years my junior & tbh I found it more funny than embarasing that about 4 mins after meeting her she was then sticking her finger in my arse! I didnt even have to buy her dinner 😆

+1 for banjo.

Freshers week, the girl started yelling 'what have you done to me?!', Unaware of what had happened to me, and in quite an innocent and drunk way replied 'I did not realise I was that big', she retorted with 'you're not'.

I did not see her again after that.

I was too embarrassed to go to the Docs for ages.

Mine was with a new GF and my initial thought was "well she could have at least said it was that time... oh hang on that's me..."

Never snapped the banjo but sounds nasty... how,do you actually fix it?!

After my first Colonoscopy Mrs W came to collect me, clearly the effect of the sedative had an effect on my brain / mouth when I decided to tell everyone in the reception area that "my bottom was no longer a virgin". I had a colonoscopy last week - oddly it was fascinating watching your insides on the big screen

Mine was when I was at school:

Messing about on the old PE wooden benches and I got a splinter in my arse cheek. Went to see if I could get it out in the loos but failed so had to pluck up the courage to go and see the school nurse. She had a poke about with a needle etc but couldn't get it out either so went and got one of the other nurses. She also failed. I think I ended up with a couple of nurses, a secretary and the head of 6th form all peering at my arse bent over the nurse's sink but all to no avail.

Had to spend the rest of the day sitting on the unaffected cheek before heading to A+E and having to explain the whole affair all over again. Eventually, I had a local anaesthetic and offending article cut out. Turned out to be 1.5 inches long and broken into two pieces so no wonder the school nurse struggled.

An awful lot of people saw my bare bum that day which as a 13 year old boy (not at a private school) was pretty embarrassing.

The Doc said it would eventually heal to me, he just said take it easy and if it happens again we will 'explore options'. He did not allude to what other options there were. Luckily (touch wood) has not happened again.

Never snapped the banjo but sounds nasty... how,do you actually fix it?!

never mind that, I have visions of your foreskin rolling right down and then continuing to roll round like a roller blind - like in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons

Probably a toss up between "I've either got a dvt or I've slept funny" in a&e, I'd slept funny. Or "basically my ex girlfriends ex boyfriends ex girlfriend has moved in with me and she has herpes and I need to check if I'm in the clear" fortunately I was.

Re the banjo. Mine never snapped and pissed blood everywhere, just repeated tears over time which bled a little and was just sore. They sliced it and reattached it a little lower, basically have no 'string' now. Much better design

I had a catheter inserted by a gorgeous 6ft blond Eastern Euro doctor after getting my collarbone plated, because they couldn't discharge me until I peed and I was proving somewhat stubborn in that regard.

As she was inserting it I had a sensation further down the pipe not dissimilar to the happy moment when one loses all control of the fluids within one's genital area. I gave her a split-second's notice to take evasive action before the cannon roared*.

Fortunately the almost completely inserted catheter took the brunt of the fusillade, but poor gorgeous doctor was still hit by some errant liquid shrapnel.

I apologised most profusely, and was discharged shortly afterwards. I should also add, having a catheter removed is far more unpleasant than having one inserted, which is pretty horrible on its own.

*'Cannon' and 'roared' may be somewhat exaggerated for theatrical effect.

The 6 week, post circumcision, lay off proved too much for me. Various methods were employed to try & gain some "relief", but it was inevitable that the inevitable would happen, & one particularly bored day the inevitable did happen.
A torn stitch whilst the old boy was in his engorged state was not pleasant. Where does all that blood come from ? It was a bloodbath.

I fractured my pelvis in an MTB crash in Switzerland, necessitating a helicopter ride out.
In hospital they were able to remove my baggies but then had to cut the lycra shorts off. I was unable to move, stand or roll over so I was dressed rather clumsily in an open back gown once they'd cut the shorts off and everyone had had a good look...

Anyway they were very keen for me to urinate to check it for any blood - breaking your pelvis can sever all sorts of delicate arteries that go through that area so they need to see there's no blood in the urine.

Lying on my back made it very difficult to go and I was on morphine and slightly out of it. Anyway eventually I relaxed enough to feel ready to go, called an orderly over and he placed a bowl in the right position. Then reached down and "adjusted me" to ensure correct positioning. 😳

After that, be disposed of the contents in the loo and then the doctor had a right go for not being able to examine it for blood!

Little shame left after a vasectomy.

Prior to that I'd had two operations for pilonidal sinus - don't Google it if your squeamish, but they had to excavate the top of the crack of my arse.

I half woke up after the first operation for the surgeon to tell me they'd had to excavate a bit more than normal. Drifted off to sleep and woke up in a blood soaked bed. The nurse went to change the dressings and said "Wow! I could fit my fist in there!" Apparently it was so big the surgeon had taken photos for his medical students.

There was then a month or so of my district nurse calling to change the dressings with an endless procession of trainee district nurses coming to admire the bottomless pit at the top of my arse.

Second operation was less severe, but just took months to heal properly. The district nurse involved this time decided to shave me back there in case the regrowing hair was preventing it healing, but had to get a colleague to help her as I kept tensing and she couldn't prise my arse cheeks apart and shave it with just two hands.

Oh,and if you ever need to have a proper check for moles/possible melanoma, they are VERY thorough. And they always have a team of mostly female student doctors who "need" to see the process.

Snapped banjo string, had it operated on under a general anaesthetic, woke up to a school friends mum who was a nurse inspecting the wound

Imagine one of those observation wards that are pretty small and have about 8 beds, now imagine it really busy at visiting time. This is when a junior doctor decided it would be a good time to ask me about my sexual history over the previous few years......and his parting comment as he opened the curtains....."because I think you may have SYPHALIS"

............everybody in the room was staring at me 😳

It turns out I has staphylococcus septicaemia (or something like that) from an insect bite and ended up in a pressurised room for a few days being pumped full of lots of anti-biotics.

I went through ivf to have my son, which includes having to produce some man goo in a room next to the lab. Horrific ! I am normally a 2 min regular sort of guy but whether it was the pressure or just too early/i hadnt had breakfast i struggled to produce the goods, despite a good 10 mins of fapping...This led to me having to tell the ivf doctor I was having issues. I was given a pretty poor raz mag to help (it didnt) and having to Lucozade up /have a 20 min break to get some sugar in me to have more pep.... thankfully it worked and i have a great son. He is huge (95th percentile, I am 5.10 ) so I often wonder if the orange sugarry Lucozade goodness contributed...

Some of my friends went through an IVF process to avoid a hereditary thing that would have meant if they had a son there was a 50-50 chance of this thing meaning a short life, most of the males in his wife's family died at 15 or so - anyway that's how I remember it, we were fairly drunk at the time.

Anyway to avoid it an IVF style thing at this fancy clinic on Harley street - once a month for nearly a year my mate had to take a train down the London, produce the goods, and come home again. Which was a long way to go for a **** in anyone's book.

15 years old. Full of hormones. RAF selection. Medical checks. The first person to delicately cradle my veg in their hands was a 50-odd year old female doctor. "Just checking for Lumps and bumps". Her ****ing hands were cold as well.

Fast forward 2 years and the next person to do it was a septagenarian male doctor. Took a while longer to persuade a female nurse to explore the same area for fun, but boy was it worth it!

should also add, having a catheter removed is far more unpleasant than having one inserted, which is pretty horrible on its own

Is this something you do regularly now that you learned that trick

You know that scene in 'There's something about Mary' when he gets his thingy caught in his zipper?...
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That. 😯

I remember there being pain. I remember there being blood. I had to get my Mum to help me to extricate myself.

I was about [s]35[/s] 8 at the time I think.
😐

Is this something you do regularly now that you learned that trick

No.

I'm not overly squeamish and consider myself pretty open-minded, but no.

Just no.

One of the lads i played rugby with had his right testicle ripped by a sharp stud, all the tubing inside was literally hanging down by his knees, not a dry eye on the pitch and the bar was very quiet after too. (same team used to have a lad with false eye, who's party trick was popping it out into peoples pints when they were stood there!)

I also once saw a mate attempt to jump over a barbed wire fence, which also has an electric part (who needs both!) Get a bit of the barb wire straight into his scrotum then was stuck in agony being intermittently shocked whilst trying to free his nutsack...

I did nothing to help apart from provide moral support in the form of hysterical unable to breath laughter

My day is better for reading all these tales, thank you all!

Mine is slightly sordid but true. 2nd trip to give a sample at the IVF place. Wasn't looking forward to it. Makes you feel a bit stained and cheap. The nurse (volunteer) was a little older than me and she would not **** off. Made lots of thinly disguised lewd suggestions including, "Now, are you sure you wouldn't like a hand?".

Spent ages wondering if I had perhaps just been a bit over sensitive but the memory of her licking her lips is enough to assure me otherwise. Seriously considered sticking in a complaint but it was pretty harmless, if a bit embarrassing.

Ooh - I have along, long list of moments. I’m just not sure you lot could cope.

Oh go on, spill the beans. You can't leave us hanging like sausages.

Oh go on, spill the beans. You can't leave us hanging like sausages.

No Sausage. No Beans.

Spent ages wondering if I had perhaps just been a bit over sensitive but the memory of her licking her lips is enough to assure me otherwise. Seriously considered sticking in a complaint but it was pretty harmless, if a bit embarrassing.

Phoned up the GP, and thanks to all the cutbacks and overworking them you now have to talk things through with the receptionist on the phone, before they arrange a call back from a nurse/GP, before you get an actual appointment.

Knowing this drill I'd already decided that shame was just going to mean more delays.

"and can I ask what the problem is"

"Yes, my left testicle is at least 3x bigger than it should be and very painful"

"..........(very long pause).......... errrrr, you could have just said it was personal"

Turned out to be shingles when the rash presented about 10 days later.

Having just returned from hospital after suffering from kidney stones, my most embarrassing moment is when the nurse gives you rectal suppository (still in the packet and for insertion later) in front of your mum

My dignity was sprinting down the road

Not embarrassing as such but most surreal was having 'the snip' several years ago in early December, there were 6 or 7 in the theatre at the time and the radio was playing the top 10 Xmas songs, the surgeon had never heard The Pogues 'Fairytale of New York' and was being ribbed about it as he went about his business, took my mind off what was going on but was the most bizarre medical incident I have ever been involved in 😀

"Mr Woody, you're not trying to swallow that are you?"

"Well what do you think I'm going to do with it, shoving it up my arse?"

I was on a business trip to France and had one of those nightmare streaming colds with runny nose, sneezing, watering eyes..... my colleague took me to a pharmacist who sold me some OTC suppository cold relief which to his great amusement at my discomfort he assured me were 'normal' in France.

They didn't work at all...... but then they wouldn't seeing as they went straight in the bin back at the hotel.

Like some others I sit on the other side of the fence.
and tbh its never the things above that stick in my mind, reading some of these make me think of similar experiences but these are what is expected, the routine.

The ones that stick in my mind are the ones where people have explored just what they can fit in holes... and then ask for the items back once they have been retrieved.... especially when the whole experience is preceded by some very elaborate story about how they always organise their candle collection naked....

I walked into the end of a barbell, cock first and floored myself. Full on stomach churning vomit inducing pain.

I then went on holiday for a week with a mate who was in Thailand.

After a few days at the beach, I had to admit to my mate, that I was concerned the blow to my nuts had done some damage, one was very tender and swollen. So off I went to the local private hospital on the island.

It was very busy, and full of western couples, all looking ill. I had to tell the receptionist I had a problem with my man parts, and they were very painful.

She handed me a large A4 book with photos of STDs in it asked me to look through it and see if I could identify my problem....I was given this large colour book, right next to a very prim and proper couple, whose wife had just fallen off a motorbike.

To make matters worse, she ushered me away from the desk to sit with the other patients, whilst clutching this, by that time A1 sized book of infected cocks.

Then to have to go into the doctors room, have a really pretty doctor fondle my balls, give me some antibiotics just in case I had managed to get an infection, and told me to come back in a week if the swelling hadn't gone down.

AND THEN, have to walk back out with a cup to piss in to check for blood in front of the same people who had seen me go in having been made to hold the book of gory cocks in front of them all.

Horrific. Gave up exercising shortly after that.

I walked into the end of a barbell, cock first and floored myself. Full on stomach churning vomit inducing pain.

I then went on holiday for a week with a mate who was in Thailand.

Thailand? Was it Bang-Cock?

I'll get my coat......

Not me but a colleagues cousin...

https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/385063/man-with-17-hour-stiffy-has-two-pints-of-blood-drained-from-manhood/

Link kinda tells you all you need to know really...

The ones that stick in my mind are the ones where people have explored just what they can fit in holes...

Got a peanut stuck in my ear once.

Doctor poured some chocolate in and it came out a Treet.

IGMC

theotherjonv - Member
... your foreskin rolling right down and then continuing to roll round like a roller blind - like in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons

😯 I must have missed those cartoons