most calorific single food item ?

280 logically enough, Binners. 0,28 would be better but I suppose but deux cent quatre-vingt sounds better than zero virgule vingt-huit

There is good calorific food and bad.
E.G Nuts, avocado good. Pringles, curry, cheese, bad.
It's common sense. Butter isn't too bad as it contains many vitamins, mainly vit A (great for repairing skin).

interested in why cheese is considered bad? It is simply made by preserving some of the best bits of milk, which in itself is a total foodstuff on which you could theoretically be sustained indefinitely (as are all mammals in their early days/months/years).

Surely the most calorific single food item would be something large. Either the Denby Dale Millennium pie (over 12 tonnes of pie)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-51283406
or the world's largest pizza
https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/news/2023/1/youtuber-airrack-claims-slice-of-history-with-worlds-largest-pizza-735637

Don't think either would be very practical for taking on a bike thought. Cold pizza, however, is top notch bivvy food.

Not sure if it's already been said- peanut butter?

A mate said it was standard issue when he was on training in the artic.

He used to eat it from a jar with a spoon when we worked as science teachers. I very much doubt he was burning that many calories wandering about classrooms in Nottingham!

North of 10,000 calories in this.

https://flic.kr/p/2o7Sbi1

Even I couldn’t finish it in one sitting.

It is simply made by preserving some of the best bits of milk,

Salt is the other ingredient, though how much varies.

A mate said it was standard issue when he was on training in the artic.

So that's why lorry drivers are big.

@Bunnyhop What's wrong with curry?

Battered deep fried whale blubber is surely where it's at...

@greyspoke. We made cheese here for years and never used any salt, nor did we in any of the cheeses we made in Germany and Switzerland. However, I have just googled "salt in cheese" and concede that it would appear to be common and excessive in the kind of industrial cheese manufacture I should have guessed is sold to the great British Public. The obvious answer is to therefore buy hand made cheese direct from a small dairy, though the recent death by listeria might suggest that this is also not the best idea!

Cheese

welshfarmer - I only ever buy proper handmade artisan cheeses.
However I suffer from osteoporosis and need a certain amount of calcium per day, my specialist advised me not to eat too much cheese as it's fat content is high, he may of course be referring to cheap supermarket brands.

slowoldman - curry - full of salt, gee (melted butter), maybe some fatty meats such as lamb,possibly cream or full fat yogurt, so again a food maybe as a treat once in a while.

Isnt Iditarod the husky sled race in Alaska?

Yeah, it was the Iditabike version I was thinking of (and the name John Samstad rings a bell with the cheese info… or maybe even Brandt?!)

Pre-pandemic we were in america, and stopped by the 'Cheescake Factory' for lunch. Aside from being a normal restaurant they (unsurprisingly) sell cheesecake. It's sold by the slice, and whilst they are large slices, they're hardly extreme. The calories per slice were listed, and aside from a few 'healthy' options they started at 1200 cal per slice. Most were over 1800, and some topped 2000.

I had a tray of donner meat and cheese the other night, probaly about a kilo in total, ~66% donner meat, 33% melted cheese.

That's gotta be packing a fair few calories. I did dump a load of chilli sauce on it too, which probably diluted teh calories a very small amount.

I don't think salt content is related to artisanality, but the style of cheese. Hard cheeses need some. Different chemistry happens in salty environments and different moulds will flourish, so it will affect more things than saltiness and shelf life.

Got a squeeze bottle of garlic mayonnaise yesterday from Aldi, tasted very weird so checked the table and its mostly glucose fructose syrup so straight in the bin, cheap food shocker using the cheapest highly calorific shite possible.

Lard is 8250 kcal/kilos. Butter is 7000 kcal/kg. Which is about the same as adipose tissue. If you deny yourself 1000 kcal per day, you’ll lose a kilo per week. We’ve tested this “butter diet” over several months and it’s a decent equivalence.

Walnuts are a solid source of calories, and marzipan is basically ground nuts too.

I read somewhere yonks ago that poppadoms were topping the calorie list. I can't see it as they're made from gram flour but then, surface area to soak up the oil from deep frying is hard to beat.

I read somewhere yonks ago that poppadoms were topping the calorie list. I can’t see it as they’re made from gram flour but then, surface area to soak up the oil from deep frying is hard to beat.

I guess it's the cooking oil from the deep fat fry - I dread to think what the oil to flour ratio is on a finished poppadom - some are quite dry, but some from takeways have a shiney surface and literally have droplets of oil dripping off them.

Trail Pack.
Get an old chewing gum tub from Lidl (Bubblegum Flavour)

Then fill with marzipan, walnuts, dates etc. Sometimes add some Oats.

Eat on the trail... It's great.

Based on what the fatties use to consume when I was office-based, Diet Coke 🙂

You can only digest so much fat and it also take around 3kCal/g to digest... getting sufficient calories is a losing battle for me unless I restrict riding.

Croissants are up there, weigh very little but are basically flour and butter.

Has anyone mentioned rillettes, truffade or aligot?

They are all a heart attack on a plate.

You can only digest so much fat and it also take around 3kCal/g to digest

I read 0-3% of the calorie content of fat is used in digesting it. Fat has 9kCal/gm, 3% of that would be 0.27kCal/gm.

Carbs and protein require higher percentages to digest.

I read 0-3% of the calorie content of fat is used in digesting it. Fat has 9kCal/gm, 3% of that would be 0.27kCal/gm.

Carbs and protein require higher percentages to digest.

Either way I just end up shitting out a mess of sticky mucous stuff... if I eat too much fat.
I'm limited to what I can eat but usually just go for cal/£ ... and the tubs of pork scratchings at the village store I can eat give me shits if I eat 2 tubs...

gee (melted butter)

Ghee isn't melted butter. It's clarified. Bugger all milk solids and less water content.

gee (melted butter)

Ghee isn’t melted butter. It’s clarified.

I used to work in a creamery that had a ghee processing room. Everything in it, and everyone who worked in it, was lightly coated in grease. It was impossible to clean thoroughly. Most of us avoided going up there, so the people who worked in it were the ones who enjoyed being left alone.

Yeah. I used to have to make my own when I moved to Sweden, couldn't get it regularly, seemed to be one batch per year for the whole country.

Never doing that again.

Thankfully the number of places locally now stocking it continually is into double digits.

Not quite what you're asking but a million years ago I worked in a restaurant, and noted that a 10 litre tub of Hellmans mayo has 72,000 calories.

I love mayo, and figured if you could eat it all in one go you'd put on a stone and a half...