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Opening a bag of sultanas this morning to put some on my granola (hell yeah, that's just the way I roll kids), and noticed that on the packaging it proudly states that they are, wait for it, "farm grown". As opposed to them being free range sultanas I suppose.
You don't use foraged wild sultanas on your breakfast cereal? You barbarian!
At the anti-food waste cafe I sometimes volunteer at, we were donated a load of bacon which used a "plant-based" cure. I'm sure vegans will love that.
On the flip side, a simple but clever label on a smoothie type drink (can't remember what is was which is a shame) made me turn the bottle upside down to read it as part of it was upside down.
The label was ensuring I mixed the smoothie by turning the bottle over 🙂
You don’t use foraged wild sultanas on your breakfast cereal? You barbarian!
Hey, we all have to find our own way through the cost of living crisis
was that before or after you'd taken the lid off 🤔made me turn the bottle upside down to read it as part of it was upside down.
Ladies and gents, allow me to present... drum roll...
Gluten Free... ...ham? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My paddleboard has a little label on the top saying 'Warning! Warning label is underneath' 🤔
I always 'enjoy' the use of 'Barn Eggs' on some egg boxes.
Image conjured up
Reality
We have a ‘Cheese Farm’ near us. I have this vision of Edam cheeses sprouting out of the ground.
I boght some electrolytes from a health food shop. Gluten free and vegan apparently
In defense of "gluten free", if you have a genuine allergy to it, then the starchy binding agents in electrolyte tabs, or the glue in "ham" 🤮 could both have enough to cause serious problems.
I always ‘enjoy’ the use of ‘Barn Eggs’ on some egg boxes.
Image conjured up
That's caged eggs, barn eggs are a halfway free-range indoors. There's minimum space and enrichment requirements, although they're not great.
My personal favorite:
yes, also anything which logically [I]should[/I] be GF might not definitely be due to cross-contamination, depending on how stringent the manufacturing is.In defense of “gluten free”, if you have a genuine allergy to it, then the starchy binding agents in electrolyte tabs, or the glue in “ham” 🤮 could both have enough to cause serious problems.
GF ham, ham that's not been prepared on the same line as breaded ham.
Barn eggs:
[IMG] 
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Interesting fact, only 2% of UK eggs were barn raised in 2020. https://www.thepoultrysite.com/articles/a-closer-look-at-the-cage-free-revolution
I've noticed that some of the cheese on the deli counter at Waitrose has a bold warning on it - "CONTAINS MILK".
At the anti-food waste cafe I sometimes volunteer at, we were donated a load of bacon which used a “plant-based” cure. I’m sure vegans will love that.
Having needed to look into what goes in a traditional bacon curing solution recently I can only think this is aimed at making the process appear a bit less grim?
In defense of “gluten free”, if you have a genuine allergy to it, then the starchy binding agents in electrolyte tabs, or the glue in “ham” 🤮 could both have enough to cause serious problems.
Yeah, one of my kids is coeliac and the amount of gluten products that are used in products that should be absolutely gluten free is astonishing. My background is food development - ie I know about this stuff - and we still get caught out occasionally. My favourite GF thing, though, are GF recipe books filled with simple recipes that would never have any form of gluten in them anyway eg baked potatoes, vegetable soups, curries, fruit desserts...
GF ham, ham that’s not been prepared on the same line as breaded ham.
I was meaning cured ham like Serrano or Iberico, for example, as opposed to reformed gloop.
I've got a cucumber, which for unknown reasons came wrapped in plastic, there weren't any which weren't.
On this plastic packaging was a label helpfully telling me that it was suitable for vegetarians
GF ham, ham that’s not been prepared on the same line as breaded ham.
Actually had some breaded ham the other week that was labelled gluten free. Thought it was a bit odd, but...
https://www.google.com /">Tesco crumbed ham, (actually missed out the 'r' from crumbed at first, which is a wholly different type of sandwich filling I don't want!)
mattyfez
I was meaning cured ham like Serrano or Iberico, for example, as opposed to reformed gloop.
Then it's mislabelled according to the codex alimentarius unless it has had gluten added to it so it can then me called "gluten free".
Essentially a food can only be labelled "gluten free" if:
a) it naturally contains gluten that has been partly removed
OR
b) it is naturally no gluten but has had gluten added to it below the cut-off
OR
c) it is a product that would naturally contain gluten but the gluten containing ingredient has been substituted
if this seems to make no sense I'm just the messenger
The botanic gardens in Edinburgh sell bags of peanuts to feed the squirrels with a warning that they contain nuts
"Plant-based" always amuses/annoys me. Surely most plastic rubbish is plant-based, oil being made from (old) plants in the first place.
Most marketing guff in meaningless rubbish that applies to all products anyway, they just shout about it to make it sound good. See "farm-grown".
I want to bring out a range of products with similar marketing, but backwards.
"Plant based" on plastic rubbish...
"Human faeces content well below industry standards!"
"Contains less than 0.1% insect parts!"
(on almonds) "Cyanide content in this packet is non-lethal"
I bought some deodorant once that claimed to "only work when you need it to" er as opposed to working when you don't need it, which doesn't matter because, you don't need it, and how can you tell etc etc anyway it was such a ludicrous and pointless claim but I imagine it is hard to say anything new about deodorant.
Yep I thought that as I posted it! Gluten free bread is common so it's nice to see them using it on ham.
[I]I was meaning cured ham like Serrano or Iberico, for example, as opposed to reformed gloop.[/I]
And I was meaning carved British ham (not reformed) and not Serrano/Iberico ham where the pigs are confined for several months and castrated without pain relief, then ringed so they cannot forage in their free range paddocks. Even worse, I've stopped buying Parma ham since realising it's from caged pigs.
I’ve got a cucumber, which for unknown reasons came wrapped in plastic, there weren’t any which weren’t.
Cucumbers will dry out too fast to be marketable without the plastic wrap. One case where it's actually needed (assuming, of course, that we need to buy cucumbers)
No one needs cucumbers - food of the devil that taints everything it touches! 🙂
And I was meaning carved British ham (not reformed) and not Serrano/Iberico ham where the pigs are confined for several months and castrated without pain relief, then ringed so they cannot forage in their free range paddocks. Even worse, I’ve stopped buying Parma ham since realising it’s from caged pigs.
Sounds ike you're comparing the top quality British ham to an industrially produced Spanish ham. The quality stuff definitely comes from free-ranging pigs.
I’ve got a cucumber, which for unknown reasons came wrapped in plastic, there weren’t any which weren’t.
Some of the supermarkets tried that, and they're really gross about 24-48h after picking. They shrivel up and go from crispy to soggy.
We grow our own in the garden and they have to be eaten they day they were picked to be as "fresh" as supermarket ones.
Not text but why have sliced meat or cheese layed out in the wrapper so you need to pull the wrapping all the way down to get to the top piece?
why!
Cucumbers will dry out too fast to be marketable without the plastic wrap. One case where it’s actually needed
School day, thank you. I bought one yesterday that didn't, but it had a thicker skin than normal and wasn't what they seem to refer to as 'english cucumbers '
All cucumbers should be wrapped in Elon Musk’s finest space rocket and sent to the moon. Gross.
For reasons I get sent free tea every month from fortnum and masons. 15 silk teabags in a metal tin, wrapped in thick brown paper, and then shipped in a massive beautifully made cavity walled cardboard box. Shudder to think how much emissions and money could be saved with more sensible packaging.
Possibly the most upsetting thing about it all though is the shite twee marketing bollox about sustainable packaging printed on the lid.
I've already complained to Mr Fortnum on twitter, he was useless. I'll try talking to Mrs Mason but if that doesn't work I'm going to have to somehow stop it without seeming ungrateful for the monthly teabags.
Opening a bag of sultanas this morning........ on the packaging it proudly states that they are, wait for it, “farm grown”.
That makes no sense at all ffs.
Surely they meant "vineyard grown"?
I would complain.
Opening a bag of sultanas this morning to put some on my granola
I read this without really paying attention as I was on the phone, and initially thought it said "on my grandma."
Patriotic branding:
[img] 
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Nobody mentioned Brewdog yet? What a lot of shite on their labels.
Nobody mentioned Brewdog yet? What a lot of shite on their labels.
Also a load of shite inside the can.
Also a load of shite inside the can.
Yep, overpriced & very very ordinary.
Cucumber? Satans penis I tell thee.
No one needs cucumbers – food of the devil that taints everything it touches! 🙂
they’re just water disguised as a green phallus.
I hate packaging that try’s to be your friend. “Hey I’m a smoothie and I contain blah, blah. Why not call us and” **** off.
Not packaging, but I once saw a BSO with a massive label on the toptube.
CAUTION! NOT FOR STUNTING!
might have that on a topcap.
Got a bottle of Aldi mega cheap sparkling Asti that promised "It is an ideal wine for those that enjoy this type of wine."
Brilliant - they know the target customer for £3 wine.
that is for the daily fail consumers
Ah, that lot. I stand at the magazines thumbing through Rouleur whilst tutting at the DM purchasers.
+ 1 on cucumber being evil - duck with spring onions and hoisin sauce gets rendered completely inedible if cucumber has even touched it.
Disgusting!
I take your point but we are clutching at strands of wheat here, if a pig is fed on grain, then does that mean it's not gluten free?
top quality British ham
There is no such thing, last time I checked, Nigel Farage was still alive and not hung in a curing shed covered in salt. 😉
anti-food waste cafe
I'm not sure that hyphen is where it should be 🙂
Down with food. Eat waste?
“It is an ideal wine for those that enjoy this type of wine.”
I have an album of easy-listening pop covers on the electric zither by Hubert Wolf - the translated German sleeve notes proclaim that its 'the ideal music for dull parties'
Can I mention 72hr antiperspirant in this thread? It's a bit more than the packaging I see as the problem here. Just the whole concept.
Got a bottle of Aldi mega cheap sparkling Asti that promised “It is an ideal wine for those that enjoy this type of wine.”
Aside, I was in Lidl the other day and someone on the next checkout over was buying a bottle of plonk which proclaimed "DRY AND CRISPY" in inch-high letters on the label. They wanted another, so the till operator yelled for assistance, "need another wine, dry and crusty!"
Anecdotally I think it was either lidl or aldi that won a best gin contest in a blind test a few years back up against several posh more expensive ones.
I can't comment as I can't stand gin, it's vile... But it seemed to ruffle a few feathers.
My parachute (American made) had a big Day-Glo panel about the size of an A4 sheet covered in warnings.
It advised me to the effect that jumping out of an aeroplane at 13,000ft up and using this thing could be dangerous if I didn't know WTF I was doing.
Always thought.
1. NSS.
2. It's going to be a whole lot MORE dangerous if I DON'T use this thing after jumping from 13'000 ft.
The botanic gardens in Edinburgh sell bags of peanuts to feed the squirrels with a warning that they contain nuts
Either they need a good slap and a long stand in the corner or they did that deliberately to upset people.
2. It’s going to be a whole lot MORE dangerous if I DON’T use this thing after jumping from 13’000 ft.
Pretty sound logic to be fair 😀
Gluten is often in the glazes added to ham.
Nytol, an over-the-counter sleep aid. The side-effects include fatigue and drowsiness. Really? That's a shocker
I almost forgot my favorite - which is so endemic I don't even see it anymore.
"ideal eaten hot or cold".
Tee Shirt right there...
CAUTION! NOT FOR STUNTING
My paddleboard has a little label on the top saying ‘Warning! Warning label is underneath’ 🤔
It actually is this...
The botanic gardens in Edinburgh sell bags of peanuts to feed the squirrels with a warning that they contain nuts
Either they need a good slap and a long stand in the corner or they did that deliberately to upset people.
I'm going for deliberately did it to upset people.
Everyone knows that peanuts are legumes and not nuts.
It would be like claiming "may contain apples" on a tin of pineapple chunks. Taking the piss.
A picture of a bowl full of cornflakes on the box, underneath it says 'serving suggestion' ...... just as I was about to empty them out onto the kitchen work top.
You know why that is though, don't you. If they didn't write "serving suggestion" then some shitwit would be complaining to Kellogg that they were shocked to discover that there was no milk included in the box.
I bought a big bag of salted peanuts that had the following on the pack
1. Sharing pack
2. re-sealable bag
Nope. neither of those things will be happening 😀
mattyfez
I take your point but we are clutching at strands of wheat here, if a pig is fed on grain, then does that mean it’s not gluten free?
That wasn't really what I was referring to ... more the use of fillers and texturisers if we are talking about pig meat.
In the wider context if following FAO-WHO rules as defined in the Codex Alimentarius (CXS 118-1979) a serrano ham should not be labelled gluten free (4.3) because it should not contain gluten anyway. They may however label it gluten free if they inject some gluten >0 and <=20mg/kg. (2.1.1)
This then gets very vague until we get to a cooked breaded ham which absolutely can be labelled gluten free as a breaded ham would by normal preparation contain gluten. (2.1.2)
This is then defined seperately under
3.1 For products referred to in 2.1.1 a) and b), the gluten content shall not exceed 20 mg/kg in the food as sold or distributed to the consumer.
3.2 For products referred to in 2.1.2 the gluten content shall not exceed 100 mg/kg in the food as sold or distributed to the consumer.
4.3 A food which, by its nature, is suitable for use as part of a gluten-free diet, shall not be designated “special dietary”, “special dietetic” or any other equivalent term.
The whole grey area starts at not being allowed to label an onion as gluten free... but then what if I add some tomatoes, herbs and garlic and call it "pasta sauce"? A producer then needs to argue that wheat flour is a "normal" thickening agent and by using an agent such as corn starch they can label the product as gluten free or suitable for special dietary needs. Or they can take the easy way and just inject a small amount of wheat gluten to make sure they comply...
Bear in mind there is no clinical evidence for the 10 or 100 mg/kg limits. It is simply determined by what is convenient to test. There was one (sponsored) paper back in I think the 80's.. that determined "damage to the villi was no greater than" people who said they were following a gluten free diet. (which is itself meaningless as the control group were not actually tested to see how well they were following what they assumed/thought was gluten free but would be very unlikely to be)
A while ago (ok 2 decades) Asda had an exec that was coeliac and they tried to actually do this properly.. at least in a way made sense to their customers but I think they eventually gave up.
Can I mention 72hr antiperspirant in this thread? It’s a bit more than the packaging I see as the problem here. Just the whole concept.
In my naivety I once questioned a friend what 24h mascara and lipstick was for. You're not meant to leave it on for 24h, it's just resistant to anything you might get upto in 24h 😳
A bit like a 3 season sleeping bag isn't actually meant to be slept in for 9 months solid.
In fairness to the Coop(?) I'm broadly in favour of their ice packaging, not for flag-shagging reasons but because shipping tap water any further than it needs to be should always be discouraged.
Is there really any possibility that water would be imported into the UK to make ice cubes?
Why? What would the advantage be and which country would the water come from? Flown in from Spain?
Anything ever written on any Innocent Drinks packaging.
Is there really any possibility that water would be imported into the UK
Maybe not for ice, but for equally pointless purposes, and in tiny non-thirstquenching bottle sizes.
Bottled water surely needs to go the way of plastic carrier bags. It's absolute madness. We're crying about petrol pushing £2/litre whilst cheerfully paying more than that for something which literally falls out of the goddamn sky and is piped into almost every house in the country.
Yeah I would be worried too if the water to make ice cubes came in small plastic bottles from overseas.
Is a Evian ice cubes a thing? I haven't a clue, I'm not posh enough to enjoy any drinks that require ice cubes.
Bottled water surely needs to go the way of plastic carrier bags. It’s absolute madness. We’re crying about petrol pushing £2/litre whilst cheerfully paying more than that for something which literally falls out of the goddamn sky and is piped into almost every house in the country.
Agreed in principle... but we drink tons of bottled water, mainly because tap water tastes horrible, even cold from the fridge or filtered. We used to hardly drink and now we drink plenty of plain water (the 17p for 2l stuff from Morrisons, not Evian!)
If they could pipe it to the house or do something else to avoid the bottles that would be great.
tap water tastes horrible
Are you a Southerner? It tastes fine up here. 😁
London tap water mings, so sell it in gallon bottles rather than 500ml.
London tap water mings,
Depends what you're used to. I've moved north and south more times than you've had hot dinners Ton's changed bikes. Each time it tastes awful for a couple of weeks then it's fine.