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The girlfriend said 'yes' so now the preparations have started for the wedding next year. I've got up to 5 mates whom I class as my closest from various walks of my life (football, riding, school etc etc), all would do a great job but I'm struggling to decide on the 'one'. Anybody have any experience of having more than one best man at their wedding?
My brother had me and his best mate as best men. Worked fine. His mate did a long rambling speech and I wrote a short witty (well I thought it was) poem.
All went rather well.
Went to a wedding with 2 best men, seemed to go fine. Just be prepared for double embarrassment from two best man's speeches 🙂
My mate had 4 of us... less responsibility and you need to sort out the speech at some point so it works
My mate got married in Robin Hood's Bay a wee while ago...I was one of his three 'Merry Men'.
Coordinated speeches so there was little overlay or repetition - worked a treat apart from me fluffing my lines in a few places 😳
My brother did, technically both his best mate and me. It was handy because at the time I was dealing with a very stroppy small person who couldn't cope with crowds and excitement and late nights - and also the two year old that she and I are the parents of. Really though his mate was the proper best man, he organised the stag do and did the speech, so I was just an honorary top-table space filler and jewellery transportation service. Suited me just fine, I hate speechifying and all that.
Another wedding I went to had two best men, plus a spare mate helping out for some reason, and we ended up listening to an hour and a quarter of [i]fascinating[/i] anecdotes. I polished off nearly a whole bottle of port waiting for them to stop banging on. Please think of your guests' livers and put a time limit on the oratory if they're at all given to going on and on and on...
go with the one you know won't be afraid to do it, would relish it and will work the crowd.
it's a bit naff really, strikes me as someone who can't make a decision.
Been one of a double best man combo and it wasn't the best from my point of view. I was the uni mate and the other his brother who didn't really know him so well....and I felt obliged to defer to him so everything landed up being a bit dull and very middle of the road.
Went to my nephews wedding on Saturday, he had 5 "Groomsmen". One did the witness thing, 2 did the speech the others just seemed to get pissed. It's your wedding do whatever works for you.
Both my brothers were my best men - they kinda just shared the whole thing out between them Worked for me.
I was one of two best men for a mate, worked just fine - we wrote the speech together so we knew what we were doing and avoided any awkward bits ..... well apart from some of the embarrassing stuff anyway 😀
I had two best men (my best mates). It was class and worked well. Didn't have any ushers.
They started the best mans speech by saying alternate words before they broke into their own sections. Very well rehearsed and was brilliant.
Congrats!
Went to a wedding once with two best men who were both friends of the groom.
However, they were both quite different personalities and tried to do a joint speech. It was clear who had been the dominant one as it was full of crass filth really not suitable for a mixed wedding audience with elderly family present! The lead looked pretty happy with himself while the quieter one look mortified and kept apologising.
The bride walked out at one point 😯
I went to a wedding in Canada once that had more than one, they were called 'groomsmen'.
That felt like I was setting up a one-liner, that was actually what they were called 🙂
i was one of three once, hated it. hated the idea and offered to step aside but he wanted the 3. i pretty much wrote the whole speech too but had to share the credit, the other two added a few cliche gags from the internet which i just found embarrassing.
I've only been best man on two occasions, both of which I was one of two, so its difficult to compare.
But personally, I'm not a great public speaker so I much preferred having someone else up there with me. We did write the respective speeches together and rehearsed them too, so they seemed to flow quite well.
There can only be one best man. If you don't know which one that is then it's time for a competition.
I've been the "honorary best man" twice. I didn't organise the stag or give a speech. I appreciated the sentiment but it felt like a cop out. I'm happy to help out during the ceremony, etc and didn't need an official title 😀
A couple of years ago, i went to a wedding where...
- Both sets of parents
- 2 bridesmaids
- 2 best men
- Bride
- Groom
... all gave 10min+ speeches. None were any good! Quality is always better than quantity
I had three best women, my nieces, instead.
Saved a lot of hassle with long standing friends, two of whom had already put themselves forward without me asking.
It was great.
If I was getting married now I dont think I am close enough to anyone to ask them to be best man.
Sounds like having 5 is a good problem to have
Asked one mate while pissed, forgot and asked another one to do it.......got first one to do and reading and he seemed happy enough.
Nominate one as best man, the one who'll do the job best. The one you can trust with the speech, etc.
Make the other(s) ushers, but also make them aware of what that entails.
I've been best man and I've been an usher, and the usher was by far the more difficult, but also ultimately more rewarding.
The best man is there to support the groom and the bridesmaids in case they need anything, and the run the speech. The bridesmaids are there to support the bride. The ushers, if they take their job seriously, are there to support the best man, the parents of the couple (hence why the bride's brother / best male friend makes a good usher choice too, so he can deal with her stroppy Mum), the photographers, and act as general runners and fixers.
Being best man is great if you do a good job and everyone comes up to you after and says what a great speech you did, etc.
But when the photographer is running half an hour late, the guests are getting antsy because the free bubbly has run out, and the chef is waving a cleaver at you because he can't delay service by 20 minutes otherwise every ****ing thing will be ****ing ruined, an usher who can deal with it is worth his weight in gold.
And that apart from my own wedding is the best wedding memory I have, of me and my mate who'd also ushed, long after all the speeches were done, sat out on the balcony with a whisky and a big cigar each, satisfied that between us we'd handled all that and the bride and groom didn't have a clue how fraught it had been, because they didn't need to know.
yeah go for it. I had 2 best men and it wasn't weird at all.
Not half as formal as the weddings theotherjonv seems to go to though!
theotherjonv is correct.
The best man is a lot of work and responsibility - from stag do to general fixing on the day, not just a speech. Pick who you trust most to do all that, not necessarily the one you've spent most time drinking with.
Two can work but in the good cases, one did the speech so it's really semantics over whether you have "best men" or a single one and usher(s) or groomsmen. In the bad cases, multiple lazy best men just assumed the others would do all the hard work.