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When it comes to pets though it's nice to be able to make a decision based on the quality of future life rather than the vet bill.
My ex Mrs is having her cat put to sleep tomorrow as he's 18 years old and he's not going to get better with the best will in the world.
Trying to delay the inevitable would just be cruel really.
RIP Dexter the cat.
Could we start again with a clear definition of happiness?
for me its contentment plus joy.
you need to be in a position where you are content with your life. that needs enough money to live on. then youneed those moments of joy on top of that.
some rich folk are not content. many folk seem to find those moments of joy elusive
Being in a position where the vet bill for the right treatment is going to be too much (a 5 figure sum by the end) to be able to pay, and having have them put down instead, must be an utterly miserable situation for anyone to find themselves in.
Must admit that’s what I had to do to Toby, but loadsa shit happened all year before that. (Bit of a rant below)
I was unexpectedly diagnosed with SPMS in February 2018,
Best mate died of throat cancer April 2018 and left his wife/my other best mate with a 8yr son to bring up.
My dad was suddenly diagnosed with myeodysplasia (form of blood cancer) in June 2018 after he was extremely tired on our holiday up at aviemore in may 2018 to celebrate his retirement, he died in October 2018 as hospital forgot to check ketone levels so developed internal ulcers, leaving my mum, brother and myself.
And finally had to get my dog Toby put down in late October 2018 due to tumour behind his eye, I had complained to local vets all year as on occasion he was stumbling around, then was fine but local vets said it was just his age (11yrs old but very fit, 10miles a day easily whilst I took bike), eventually took him to Edinburgh vet college for consultation/mri (£700) where they found a tumour, that if found earlier could’ve easily been operated on if I had ignored my local vets advice and took him there to begin with,
I dunno how I woulda found the money for an operation but I would’ve somehow…….given the rage I had at the time I would’ve probably kicked it out of the local vet
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Money doesn't buy happiness but it does give you choice, make good choices and you can be happier
I do remember a documentary a few years ago about the really young lottery winner, Think she was 16/17 when she won. She was sweet but a bit daft and she said the most brilliant thing (without realising how brilliant it was)
They say money can't buy you happiness but I disagree, it can buy you a jet ski. Have you ever seen a miserable person driving a jet ski?
A poncho is considerably cheaper.
High tax, low-level relative inequality and lots of saunas in an economy seems to produce a very happy Finland. Spirit Level innit.
You need money to survive. I think happiness comes mainly from your relationships with a partner family and friends and also from within yourself
I think happiness comes mainly from your relationships with a partner family and friends and also from within yourself
I'm not sure I buy that, and in the theme of my OP first post, I think that's from a position of privilege. Not necessarily a 'privilege' if wealth, but of comfort. Plenty of good relationships (friendships, partners, families) have broken down when put under pressure. The pressure of tragedy or financial deprivation. Financial security can provide the luxury of fostering good relationships, not pushed by circumstances.
Not saying you can maintain good relationships under financial stress, just it's easier to do it in 'comfort'.
Having money gives you choices, but in the words of Devo "freedom from choice" is what we want.
Am I any happier having money for multiple bikes* now, than when I was when just one rigid MTB covered all my bases as a pay cheque to pay cheque part time single dad?
* not worth much due to changing standards
@convert I don't think we are in disagreement. I believe that I spent a great deal of my life striving for a better society and a better more "comfortable " future for my family and myself. A sequence of events caused me to re evaluate what I was doing including reducing my working hours ( I work in social care i am not well paid in uk terms but I am compared to most people worldwide) my retirement will be more difficult than it could have been but the health benefits, and the reward of time spent with family and friends and in the outdoors has been enormous.
TBH there’s a serbian proverb but tbh I’ve heard it anglicised in the past and it was told to me by DoD Mummy….
When poverty knocks at the door, love flies out the window
The motivator missing in that venn diagram is "need". I stopped work at 42 because I didn't need to work. The other three in the diagram didn't come into it. I've been poor, as in owning a bicycle which got me from one temporary job to the next - being on a survival income isn't comfortable, however I wasn't unhappy. Now there's enough to live comfortably without excess, yeah, I'm happy. I reckon need is the driver for most people if they are honest and a lottery win would end their careers.
I've had a troubled relationship with money most of my life. A huge amount of debt in my 20's and early 30's. Finally into my 40's and in a job that pays my worth, and the debt cleared, I still have anxiety and stress when spending money. Even when I can afford nice things, I fell quite bad afterwards and leads to more anxiety and stress.
But can confirm, the truly happy things in life, don't cost a penny.
When I was kid we were skint, but my Grandad was not. We'd go stay with him for weeks at a time in the holidays and it was amazing getting new clothes, going out for meals, living a Swallows and Amazons childhood (he lived in the wilds of North Wales but also near the sea). He didn't spend loads but it was clear he didn't worry for money.
My Dad got a much better paid job when I was about 12 and it turned my folks life around. We had food in the fridge, went on UK family holidays and I clearly remember getting the Saisho dual cassette and radio player I wanted for Christmas!
Me and Mr Kip are doing OK, we have good jobs and savings but I still constantly worry about money as it's rubbish not having it. We don't have to worry if things break as we can afford to replace them, but don't tend to spend on the big things that really need doing because that would deplete our savings.
Would more money make me happier, yes because we could fix the house up properly. Would even more? Yes because then we could move to a nicer house in a nicer spot. Beyond that, I don't need much and can find happiness in the smallest things, including sitting on the back of the van with the tailgate up watching the sunset over the nearest beach.
My previous job I worked for a Times rich list HNW family, wealth built up over generations, there’d be no way I’d ever want to be a part of that family and have their money. None of them appeared to be happy at all and I was so glad to leave that place.
My current employers (small family business) are multimillionaires, they are the complete opposite.. a loving, caring family, I think of them more like friends than my bosses. They have worked hard, and continue to do so, I’ve a lot of respect for them, and know that if they lost everything they’d still be lovely, happy people.
Me? Skint. Would love enough to buy my own place, that’d make me happy.
We both worked hard earlier in our careers to get rid of the stress of money; pay off mortgages, get rid of all debt, put aside enough for our daughters future etc. Once that was done we both took a huge hit financially to go part time as we didn’t want the next big house, the new luxury car, the insanely expensive holiday. Once you are past that initial stress of money, which isn’t easy, and you prefer simple things in life especially the outdoors, I don’t think money makes any difference. But below that point, life can be challenging at best. I realise we are very very lucky and we do remember harder, less happy times. Slightly separately, it’s not just the money that determines happiness, so many things have an impact for each of us, and not necessarily the same things.