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Morning all
Long story short my now ex girlfriend had an affair which ended our relationship and I asked he to move out which she did. I can't afford to stay in the house, rented property, on my own so have had to give notice to the landlord which ends on 21st October.
Ex moved out two weeks ago but still has some bits left here and is very much dragging her heels when it comes to removing them. Apparently she has nowhere to live at the moment so I'm assuming shes been staying with friends as she "isn't seeing anyone else" and is due to go to stay with her parents who live abroad for 10 days from tomorrow.
Yesterday she was supposed to be finally taking the last of her belongings however when I got in last night there were a couple of things still left and a note to say she would around in the week to collect them and could I confirm the end of the tenancy date. I got in last night after midnight and as she hadn't been online for a couple of hours (we communicate through whatsapp and I try not to have any face to face unwitnessed contact with her due to her threatening to make allegations about me to the police and my work) figured she had gone to bed so didn't respond.
This morning I get a message asking if it is OK to come around at 10 to collect these things and I ask what exactly it is so I can get it all ready for her to collect once and for all. This was her response.
I woke up to the first message and went then went to the toilet and the rest where there when I got back.
Her name is still on the tenancy as there seemed little point in paying to have it taken off when there was only a months notice left on the agreement. Hindsight eh...
So if she tips up today saying she is going to move back in where do I stand legally in saying no? Am guessing not very well as her name is still on the tenancy. I'm really not very comfortable with the idea of her moving back in as she has made threats to damage property, been emotionally and physically abusive towards me and also threatened to make very serious allegations against me as mentioned above.
All advice much appreciated 🙂
If your tenancy ends in 3 weeks, just find a new place to stay now and move yourself out a couple of weeks early. Take lots of time stamped photos on your departure and send them to the landlord with a covering letter explaining the situation..
As for her taking legal action for monies etc... Just how much is involved in the deposit? - I'd imagine less than £2k. She wont get many solicitors hours for her half of the deposit..
Sounds like you've had a lucky escape
Inform Landlady you are moving (if you havn't already), explain circumstances. Get landlady to inspect the property and leave, leaving her stuff in it. Write off any claim to the deposit after landlady inspects and signs you off on the property. Any subsequent problems will be with your ex partner.
Time stamped pictures are a good tip... completely tamperproof.
https://originstamp.org/home
Move on with your life...
Did she consent to the termination of the tenancy?
I don't think you can stop her moving back (although that is an option for victims of domestic abuse.), or force her to remove her stuff before the 21st, and the financial issues she mentions are better sorted out sooner rather than later.
If I couldn't be in the same house as her, my instinct would be to move out and recruit a friend to be around when you pop back to sort out financial stuff.
Good thinking with the time stamped photos as there is some damage to the property from her rabbits i.e. chewed skirting boards. When we moved in I covered all the fees, moving costs and furniture and she provided the deposit so it is all in her name anyway.
The estate agents know when I am due to move out as I had to confirm this with them when giving notice as does the landlord obviously so if she really wanted to know she could just contact them rather then making threats towards me.
Due to my financial situation, final year student nurse, I'm having to move back in to my parents as what I get paid would barely cover rent and bills on a flat let alone living expenses i.e. car, phone, maintenance for my son (previous relationship).
As she still has a key I don't feel able to leave anything of value in the house so it is only clothing, bedding, kitchen stuff and furniture left here. All of my university stuff is in boxes in my car so I only have what I need for that day or couple of days to hand at any one time which is inconvenient to say the least.
EDIT: have already told her I wont speak to her in person without a witness or with the conversation being recorded to safeguard myself against allegations.
Regarding any financial matters the deposit is all in her name so there is no issue there it will just be a matter of the final bills which are in both are names. I'm already resigned to her not paying them and having to front it all myself which is an ache for sure but its a small price to pay. I just want her out of my life so I can move on with it.
Almost a lucky escape, still three weeks to go...
If she is threatening, inform the police - it is domestic abuse after all and they should take note of it. Try and get some evidence regarding it and speak to them, if she comes back record the conversations, might help if it goes to court that she was being the mental unreasonable one. Although a visit from the bobbies might escalate her already brewing psychosis.
Sounds like you're getting a lucky escape if you succeed, shame about the bunnies though.
As been said above, get the land lady round and sort every direct with her.
RE: financial matters. The deposit is in her name so there is no issue there it would just be the final household bills which are in both our names. I'm already expecting her to refuse to pay her share of these and to have to cover it all myself but its a small price to pay to have her finally out of my life so i can move on with it.
So, are you saying that your name isn't on the tenancy and that you didn't pay any of the deposit and also that you are pretty well packed up and have somewhere else to live?
Surely, you just need to hand back your keys to the landlady, take your stuff and move back in with your parents and leave her to it?
@stayhigh this is one of those times it's best to cut your loses and move on, if it comes to it, let her have the place for 3 weeks, pay the final bills, let her have the deposit - pray the bunnies don't end up in a pot. get gone, change your number, take a depth breath and look forward to the rest of your life.
If you have money owed to you in the joint account, get it the hell out of there. Wind her up... just tell her to **** off and die. lol
How did she pay the deposit? Will it just get refunded into the joint a/c?
I'd be taking steps to secure any cash in the joint a/c to cover final bills etc. Chances are that she will be looking for ways to regain access to it and empty it.
I can't believe no-one else has asked about the bunnies.
Are the bunnies rhetorical or real? Are they massive bruisers who will beat you up or is she bring the little cute ones round to stick on the hob.
Won't someone think of the bunnies? We need to know about the bunnies!
We are joint tenants on the tenancy agreement however she paid the deposit through her personal account so is in her name. There is a house full of furniture to be packed and moved as well as kitchen stuff, white goods and day to day living clothes etc. In fairness it would only take a few days to get this all moved into storage.
I'll be honest after everything that has gone on over the last couple of months I was rather looking forward to having a couple of weeks in the house on my own just to decompress, clear my head and put my own thoughts in order before moving back into mums. As she is going away fro two weeks from tomorrow I really didn't envisage it being a problem and was rather naively hoping that things could be managed somewhat more amicably than this.
The bunnies were lovely and I miss them being around very much 🙁
The joint account has around £30 in it as I wasn't prepared to pay money into it for my share of the direct debits until they were due to come out in case she decided to rinse it.
So let's get this straight - she's moving her pets back in, then immediately buggering off for two weeks? Basically she has no petsitter for her trip abroad.
The joint account has around £30 in it as I wasn’t prepared to pay money into it for my share of the direct debits until they were due to come out in case she decided to rinse it.
Cancel the direct debits. Get a final bill from your providers instead. Just make sure she can't put the a/c into overdraft.
So what does she mean about bringing the bunnies around? Is she going to go all Louise and stick them in a pot?
#prayforthebunnies
So, the tenancy is in joint names, so you have a joint responsibility for returning it in a decent state at the end. That’s fair enough.
I’m presuming she has paid the most recent rent? If so, she is entitled to keep things there. I’m going to suggest she also has every right of access to the property as she sees fit, unless you have reason to believe you are at risk and go to the Police.
The rabbits are not your problem, though. If she is planning to leave them with you, make it clear that you’ll simply report them as abandoned to the RSPCA.
It’s only a month. She will be out of your life soon enough.
Rachel
What is this word "Relationship" do your own thing help people but dont rely on them.
Get landlady to inspect the property and leave, leaving her stuff in it.
Get landlady to inspect the property and leave, leaving her stuff in the front garden. (-:
If she's taking over the lease and planning to live there, it's her problem, no? Just walk away. If the lease is terminating, well, see above.
Also,
a) can you legally terminate a joint lease on your own? and
b) the way that message is worded ('my worry is that you'll screw me over') smacks of a setup. Be very very careful how you reply on any medium that has an audit trail. Be nothing but perfect and accommodating via text. "Of course honey, you can come round any time you like to collect your stuff, we've discussed this and you know that."
(IANAlegalexpert)
No clue about the legalities but having gone through a nightmare breakup last year (ex had mental health issues) I would say:
In texts try to be helpful but if you have conditions (e.g. someone else must be present) then state them and the reasons why.
Talk to your landlady, assuming you are concerned she'll damage the property if she does move back in then make the landlady aware - no clue if there's anything she could do but at least if it comes down to deposit not covering damage later at least you've been upfront
Call the police non-emergency number and explain the situation (about you being concerned about physical violence and her making false accusations). I was actually told to always call 999 with my ex when she turned up (even if I didn't feel physical threatened as the door was locked) but they can set a flag on your address to so they treat it as a priority. I always felt a bit guilty about wasting police time but at the end of the day I was the victim and I pay taxes anyhow...
Record any in-person conversations - there were plenty of times my ex had left by the time police arrived (sometimes after just lots of shouting abuse and threats, sometimes after damaging my car or property) and they'd go around hers and she'd just deny it but I'd recorded it (and they listened to it first) so they knew I was telling the truth. I think there's a certain bias against guys in domestics (I certainly got that impression from at least one of PCs that attended a couple of times), she would always claim I started stuff or assaulted her (which I never did). It's frustrating but I can understand why and would probably think it's 6 of one half a dozen of the other if I was just a PC attending - just don't get frustrated by it and having recordings certainly helps lend credibility to you saying it's all your ex causing the grief.
Anyway, best of luck and hope your situation gets sorted quickly and painlessly...
If you are joint tenants and you are moving out then you should inform the landlord of your intentions.
If she wants to stay then she can sign a new lease with the landlord starting on the day you move out.
That would be the cleanest way to handle the paperwork. Everywhere I have lived before required new documentation when someone moved out.
If I am honest with you the easiest thing to do would be to get your stuff into storage. Give the keys back to the landlady, give up the deposit and get out to somewhere else. Then just leave her to get on with what she wants to do.
It will hurt financially and probably strain any relationships if you are on a mate or family members couch