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Over the last few years my hatred of the sound of people eating has been growing.
Turns out this is called Misophonia. It appears it selective with me. For the most part, hearing people chew or eat doesn't grind my gears. But there are a handful of people in my daily life that make such noises.... and it makes me want to stamp their heads flat.
My best mate and work colleague.... it sounds like his tongue is slapping the roof of his mouth with every chew. Its all i can hear in the office as he munches on his toast or tucks into his lunch. It drives me mad!
My wife has recently picked up the habit of sucking in her food, again, as you can imagine, sends me to the moon with rage!
Outside of this, i am fairly chilled in life. Its not like i am a mentalist ready to explode.
So does anyone else suffer from this. Have you got any tips or techniques to counteract it?
All feedback appreciated!
Only eat in the toilet.
Yes, just have a word with yourself. It's only a sound. Force yourself to ignore it.
I suffer with this and tinnitus and to be honest, the training I had for tinnitus helped me a lot.
There's nothing you can do, but mentally accept it's something you can't control, 'tune it out' of your range of hearing by distracting yourself with your own thoughts.
I drive my missus mad because I gulp my brew instead of sipping it, so now I'm very self aware when I drink tea.
Are you saying that killing these people would be wrong?
Asking for a friend
@molgrips - indeed. If only all of life's struggles/nuances were solved by taking a look at ones self. I will try and do this.
@geordiemick00 - did read about the link between this and tinnitus. on a sperate note, how do you gulp a hot brew?! Asbestos lined mouth? ooosh!
@MoreCashThanDash - killing the noisy eaters... sounds like a just punishment in my book.
Interested. I'm similar, except for me it's when people whistle. Even thinking about people whistling makes me unsettlingly angry.
I always have music on in the background at home.
In part my hatred of the sound of people eating comes from a dad who also hated it and screamed at me to eat quietly, so now I'm conscious of the cause I can deal with it a little better, I still bloody hate it though.
molgrips
Yes, just have a word with yourself. It’s only a sound. Force yourself to ignore it.
Great when the experts respond isn't it? FFS. I know who needs to have a word with themselves if that's the attitude you take to mental health issues.
If only all of life’s struggles/nuances were solved by taking a look at ones self.
They aren't, but this one might be. It's transient, it has no real bearing on you, should be possible to ignore it. If you can't, then you have another problem.
I know who needs to have a word with themselves if that’s the attitude you take to mental health issues.
It's not, if you have a read back through my other posts on the subject. But speaking as a lifelong sufferer this particular issue isn't the same as some of the others that have been discussed.
I used to share an office with a guy who breathed. Now he's gone. Silence is bliss.
Move to an uninhabited island leaving your wife and mate to enjoy a life of noisy eating together.
My hatred of people who drop litter brings my blood to boiling level, I'm incandescent with rage that they don't give a damn about others, their surroundings, the environment or a little baby bunny which could get entangled in discarded debris (masks) thrown from a moving vehicle and yes I want to kill them.
Meaning I sort of understand where you're coming from. Sigh.
I used to share an office with a guy who breathed. Now he’s gone. Silence is bliss.
What did you do with the body?
I used to work with a bloke who would test anyones patience in the eating realms....i've never heard noise like it! I tried to replicate it at home just out of curiosity and it was actually hard work to eat like that!
Watching him eat an apple was strangely fascinating! It was kind of like a talking horse.
You have my sympathies by the way....noisy eating is incredibly annoying i think because it's usually unnecessary!
It’s not, if you have a read back through my other posts on the subject.
Ok so you think [i[someone else[/i] suffering from a condition is THE SAME as you suffering from a condition? I've got experience of this too. I had serious issues a couple of years ago, maybe not caused by the misophonia, but with the addition of this to other issues meant I was failing to cope.
Your shitty attitude has effected my ability to type, so I'll leave you to it, solving people's issues in such a caring, expert way.
You have my complete sympathy as I find listening to someone eat almost painful, and have to overcome the urge to peel people with a rusty cheese-grater on a daily basis.
I can't really offer any help other than to recommend noise cancelling headphones.
I’m incandescent with rage that they don’t give a damn about others
Allowing the behaviour of other people to dictate ones own feelings seems to me that short cut to a heart attack. Long ago I came to the conclusion that there's little you can do to influence people if they want to behave in a certain way. Once you stop caring It's liberating.
Note to self: never eat in a restaurant where v7fmp is the waiter.
Note to self: never eat in a restaurant where v7fmp is the waiter.
Actually that probably wouldn't be an issue thanks to background noise and, mostly, that misophonia is often mostly, unfortunately, triggered by the people you're close to like your partner or close colleagues. Other people and sounds, not so much.
Interesting thread, I’m glad i don’t suffer from this condition.
OP, all i can suggest is remove yourself from the situation if possible when it happens.
And NC earbuds, obviously.
I've probably inherited this from my Mum who used to absolutely lose it with me when I was a kid for noisy eating. My kids are now of an age where they need constant reminders about not eating like farmyard animals, so I find putting a bit of music on while we eat helps. With adults I just have to grit my teeth as it's my problem not theirs. I have been known to have to walk out of the room occasionally.
Yes, just have a word with yourself. It’s only a sound. Force yourself to ignore it.
What if your on the autistic spectrum (if that's the correct thing to say)?
Do you still 'just have a word with yourself'?
A guy at work is just that, & he simply cannot stand the sound of someone slurping through a straw.
I have this problem as well and, like you, it is selective. My wife makes homemade granola, and if she has breakfast in bed, dear god I am close to murder. My kids on the other hand don't get the same reaction, they just get a "Would you make that noise when eating in front of your grandparents?"
Blank out all background noise with some Bose noise cancelling headphones.
You can even listen to music through them if that's not too annoying.
indeed. If only all of life’s struggles/nuances were solved by taking a look at ones self
I just nearly snooted some coffee from nose at that. (How did that sound?)
But Molgrips is correct I think inasmuch as while you have maybe three options only one is realistic:
1. Stop the noise by stopping the people who are making noise.
2. Physically prevent yourself from hearing the noise (block or leave)
3. Take a look at your own reactions/change your philosophy.
Easy to say. It sometimes drives me bonkers too. But my reaction tends to be dependent on how much I like/dislike (or care/not care) about that person. Are you the same with strangers? I remember once dining with two visitors from HK, and they would happily suck noodles greedily with every type of ‘snork’, lip-smack and yum-gasp imaginable. And some. And loudly!
Didn’t bother me so much as alert my senses to a ‘different’ thing going on. To be frank it was an initial shock. Either they were having a joke at my expense or this was culturally their norm. Yet I remember an overweight great-grandmother sucking gravy from chicken bones and smacking her chops and I’d wish to leave the room as it grated on my being as per OP.
Nowt so queer as us folk.
It's the sound of whispering for me, specifically on TV. It has me diving for the remote control, off button or in a pinch the wall socket at the expense of anything and anyone that might be in the way.
My teenage daughter suffers from this and its been really tough.
Its taken a long time / far too long for me to fully understand it and be sympathetic. For too long I thought she was just being a snooty teenager, taking every opportunity to tell me I was disgusting and trying to leave the table early to avoid hanging out with family or having to clear up dishes. I didn't accept it as a condition but, instead, I tried to battle it out of her. I used to challenge her how she can be repulsed by her relatives and not by her friends. I realise now she is repulsed by everyone but we are the ones she feels safe telling.
We now play music when eating, we organise the table to try and avoid putting her next to people she struggles with the most and we try our best to not make a big deal out of it. It is not easy. It is also fair to say that is gets worse when there are other pressures in her life like exams. The more stressed she is, the more she struggles with misophonia, it then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So we do out best to all be quite chill about it, to the point of joking (this doesn't always end well)
Its not easy.
Eating noisily is bad, but don't get me started on grown adults repeatedly sniffing rather than blowing their noses.
Eating noisily is bad, but don’t get me started on grown adults repeatedly sniffing rather than blowing their noses.
Unelievably disgusting. I heard this on the train the other day. I'm not phobic or anything but how can anyone put up with ingesting that much snot?
Just reading the OP triggered me 😒
I had a very dear housemate who did this and had a clicking jaw as well. Horrific, but I must say it annoys me mostly when I’m tired.
The whispering thing is possibly even more annoying. I HATED the original Dune film because of that.
Strikes me as interesting that it’s the opposite of the ASMR effect that’s proven to ease people with anxiety.
sound advice for all MH conditions there 😬Yes, just have a word with yourself. It’s only a sound. Force yourself to ignore it.
practically, at home you can have tv/radio etc on in the background, at lunch at work or out & about you can put headphones in.
Long term, you can try to figure out what's causing it, stress etc and address those issues. Mindfulness is very helpful.
You're also allowed to tell people to shut the **** up and chew with their mouths shut (unless they're toddlers in which case it's ok to eat like one) 🤣
Noise cancelling headphones.
/end of thread
😉
My wife appears to suffer form this but apparently only with me. My solution is to make even more noise whenever she mentions it.
@montgomery Don't ever go to Japan. Blowing your nose in public is considered about as unacceptable as we would consider someone letting off a rip roaring fart in public. It's considered polite to sniff all day and then blow your nose in the privacy of your own bathroom. Takes a bit of getting used to.
I can be a bit intolerant of people eating with their mouths open and making a lot of noise. Once you notice it, it's hard to ignore it.
Re people dropping litter, this sends me into an apoplectic with rage. I've just come back from a dog walk that was about as much fun as having your teeth pulled out with no anaesthetic. Why? People's constant littering of usually food-based rubbish which means my dog either has to stay on the lead or is in danger of running out into the road in search of the food. Not to mention all the crap she consumes this way. Throw in inconsiderate dog owners who won't even put their dog on a lead on the street and allow them to run from one side of the road to the other and run up to mine causing her to react (not defensively, just excitedly) and I'm about ready to kill somebody.
I would be in favour of banning all convenience food. Make eating about sitting down at a table and eating food off a plate in a designated eating room. It would no doubt be a massive pita but it would solve a lot of the rubbish problems and might help with noisy eaters as they would be forced to concentrate on eating rather than being distracted while doing something else at the same time.
Is it any sound that comes under the condition?
My colleague uses a stupidly weedy old 12v impact driver that, even putting a 10mm screw into balsa wood will go RATT-ATT-ATT-ATT-ATT!!! As loud as anything.
Makes me want to beat him to death with his own arms.
montgomery Don’t ever go to Japan.
I lived in China for 10 years so developed a general tolerance for disgusting personal habits, but - the sniffing thing? I've been known to throw packets of tissues at offenders when exiting train carriages... now, I just remove myself from the situation, it's safer for everyone if it doesn't escalate.
I lived in China for 10 years so developed a general tolerance for disgusting personal habits
The spitting on the floor not just outdoors, but inside trains, restaurants, offices, houses.....
For v7fmp 😉
@montgomery Don’t ever go to Japan.
Another thing about Japan is that slurping your noodles is the normal way to eat them. The story I heard, which might be total bullshit but makes a good story, is that way back in the olden days rich people used to dress up as poor people and visit cheap eateries, but they were polite and didn't slurp their noodles so the slurping thing was a way to spot imposters.
I haven't visited China in quite a few years, but the first time I went there in 1999, the government was trying to get people to stop spitting chewed up sugarcane on the streets. People would chew it as a sweet snack and then just spit the pulp out on the street. The streets were littered with it. Utterly disgusting.
I struggle with noisy eaters as well. It does sometimes feel like it hurts inside you, you just can't blank it out once you start to hear it.
In a place I used to work I had to sit between a guy who eat with his mouth open, and a guy who (purposley I think) slurped his tea. When an opertunity for a new job came up it was one of the reasons I left. My mother in law is also a noisey eater, but I know my wife wouldn't be happy if I smashed her in the face, and I'm prepared for it so I can usually get through meals with her now. I just make sure I'm not sat next to her.
My son also seems to struggle with this, have to make sure the radio is on at meal times as you can see him physically reeling away from people.
China actually sounds a lot worse! I have never had any desire to go which is probably a good thing.
Re the Japanese and noodles, I don't mind that. It was a bit of a shock at first but then I started to do it myself. Cools them down. Not sure about it being a way to spot imposters but maybe.
I’m similar, except for me it’s when people whistle. Even thinking about people whistling makes me unsettlingly angry.
My God, are you me? 🙂
I am probably more annoyed with eating sounds than I should be as well. So is my daughter!
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I'm not prone to violence. I work across a desk from a lovely man.
He drinks from his water bottle frequently throughout every day, at the end of each slug he sooks like it's a teat.
This irks me so much I'd like to beat him to his severe injury with the aforementioned water bottle.
I understand this is my issue rather than his, but the OP has given it a name and that makes me happy.
What doesn't make me happy is my other colleague likes nothing more than haking a lugi back up his nostrils rather than blow his nose.
As you can imagine I'd like to drown him.
I wonder if there’s a word for “ the annoying things that people who find the habits of other people annoying do that they’re completely unaware of doing”
How ironic would it be if while you’re hating the sound they make while they eat, that they’re dying to punch you in the face because of the sound you make as you sit down or breathe?
I’ll bet the Germans have a word for it
I’ll bet the Germans have a word for it
That will be a Wheeflinshouser.
Treat them gently,they know not what they do.
Noise cancelling headphones for the office. Put them in, press the button, done
Noise cancelling headphones for the office. Put them in, press the button, done
and some for the other person too, so they can't hear all your annoying habits that you may have 😉
With me it's people clicking pens, or people constantly tapping a table or desk when emphasising a point, or tapping in general, really makes my blood boil.
Alright I apologise for appearing insensitive earlier. But I did qualify it with 'if that doesn't work you have other problems'.
The original post seemed as though the OP was struggling with irritation from someone doing something innocuous, as I have done quite a bit. I consider these things to be issues that are within our control. We should be able to simply make a decision not to be annoyed by it. However if this is not possible then there is a deeper issue that needs considering, and the inability to deal with the misophonia is the symptom.
What I do, if I can't ignore it, is get something else to eat myself at the same time. Or time my eating during meals to coincide with others.
Oh mate. I feel all of your pain.
I hadn't heard of misophonia it's 100% what I have.
And I share an office with a chap who constantly sniffs, grunts and clears his throat (all. day. long), slurps his tea and can't eat ANYTHING with his mouth closed.
The feelings of overpowering rage and absolute disgust used to completely consume me at times. I'd regularly have to just get up and leave the room for a bit.
Noise cancelling headphones in the office are the answer. Bose QC 35 II to be precise - hands-down the best investment in my own well being I've made in years.
I once had a tutorial cancelled so bought a paper and sat down in the union with a coffee. In comes a girl built like Therese Coffey. She bought two pasties, smothered in brown sauce and proceeded to sit opposite me and eat them with her mouth open. Good Gob I was out of there like greased lighning and have never recovered. Eating has a remarkable ability to turn on the horrors.
What if you don't like the sound of stamping heads into the ground? 🤔
I hadn’t heard of misophonia it’s 100% what I have.
And I share an office with a chap who constantly sniffs, grunts and clears his throat (all. day. long), slurps his tea and can’t eat ANYTHING with his mouth closed.
It's not you (or me) that's got the problem. It's the ****ing slobs who can't comport themselves with a bit of decency. Trying to medicalise a perfectly understandable disgust reaction by giving it a name is kind of missing the point.
It’s not you (or me) that’s got the problem. It’s the **** slobs who can’t comport themselves with a bit of decency.
It is me, though. I still can't stand it when people are eating perfectly normally and politely.
My wife has this and if i ever have a bag of crisps i need to have them as far away as possible, boiled sweets is another that can send her over the edge. I always remember with crisps but the sweets i sometimes forget. As mentioned above playing music at meal times helps and I've seen her eat something noisy if someone else does as it covers the sound.