[Closed] Minding other people's business: A rant

Something I have never really noticed. Maybe it's you who attracts these weirdos. 😀

Although, myself, I told a kid on a bike to stop crossing the road the other day cos there was a car coming. His mates had gone, but as I said it the lights on the crossing changed, so he could go immediately. Wonder if he thought I shoulda minded my own business?

Toward the end, he passes me and says, ‘You know what I would suggest? I would suggest a helmet.’ Then he rides off.

Are you annoyed that he was giving you such sage advice(*) or that he dropped you?

(*) Not sage advice.

I would have just caught up with him and kicked off a helmet debate.  They are always good fun.

Could I advise using the traditional English response?

‘You know what I would suggest? I would suggest keeping your nose out.’

This bloke? Did he look a bit like Charles Bronson?

Who the hell is this man?

It was TJ

Gammons.

Not worth getting upset about.

This bloke? Did he look a bit like Charles Bronson?

Alas, more like Mike Tindall, that royal with the broken nose.

Could I advise using the traditional English response?`

I never, ever have the presence of mind to say the right thing at the right time. I could only muster a sarcastic, 'Thanks for the sermon', followed by very cowardly and quiet 'A**h***'.

Do you know what I suggest? Better rants.

Minimal CAPS, few swears, grammar correct.

2/10

Do you know what I suggest?

There's always a busy-body about with advice eh?

followed by very cowardly and quiet ‘Ah’

Ftfy. Bloody foreigners coming over here not learning to speak the language properly and making invidious comparisons with wherever they come from.

Could I advise using the traditional Scottish response?

"Bolt, ya rocket! Get tae ****"

<div class="bbp-reply-author">perchypanther
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Could I advise using the traditional Scottish response?

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Isn't that "ram it"?

My wife's got an unsolicited advice box that comes in handy (and will come in handy plenty more when we have a kiddo in a few weeks!).  Advice goes straight in the box.

If you think it's valuable you can come back to it; otherwise, not.

Could I advise using the traditional Scottish response?

I thought that was a headbutt, the irony being that the other fella was wearing a helmet 🙂

Regional variations may apply.

I went with the weegie version.

My wife’s got an unsolicited advice box that comes in handy (and will come in handy plenty more when we have a kiddo in a few weeks!).

You can have this one for nothin'......

Stay up the dry end.

My wife’s got an unsolicited advice box

May I suggest growing taller? At 6'4" with a shaved head, I seldom seem to get "helpful bits of advice" from random punters.

Stay up the dry end.

In similar situations I find a cheery 'thanks mate' and then carrying on with whatever you were doing works a treat.  You've not been aggressive or even impolite but they clearly know that you couldn't give a toss about them or their opinion. It's the British way.

Racist!

I’m with perchypanther.

not literally, as i live in fife, but I would respond in exactly the same manner.

In similar situations I find a cheery ‘thanks mate’ and then carrying on with whatever you were doing works a treat.  You’ve not been aggressive or even impolite but they clearly know that you couldn’t give a toss about them or their opinion. It’s the British way.

Very much this. Kill them with kindness almost. Winds them up a treat. Bonus points for a follow up question on how you can further improve

You should move to Sweden. Here no one says anything to anyone. Crash on your bike split your chin open and lie on the road looking like you need help, the swedish mentally is "oh this is embarrasing for me"  and  they just ignore it.  fail to signal when driving " i am impeding on someone else's journey, I best stay anonomous".

I'd rather England in that sense anyday!

I did wind my window down on a rainy Nov commute home and suggest to a chav dressed in black with his hoodie up and no lights that he should get some lights unless he wanted to become a statistic.  his response was **** off.  in hindsight he probably didn't know what statitic meant and assumed it was a swear word.

no helping some people

It’s definitely a British cultural “ting”. Obviously you can tell by the type of newspapers that major in gossiping, such as the Whailing Daily and Sun/Mirror.

I grew up in Florida, very culturally different outlook, and did find settling into a such a minimal outlook quite difficult.

Its hard not to take “busybodies” serious becuse in the main thier views are offering “protective” advice, yet what I’ve found it’s the manner of the communication that grates.

I see DT78 met Saxonrider but didn't recognise him.

Why can’t people just live and let live?

Why can't you do the same?

Isn't it equally 'British' to be passively aggressively outraged by the trivial opinions of others?

Try re-framing it. Those who deem it necessary to comment or offer un-wanted advice may have some unfulfilled need. Perhaps they've spent 30 years married to a tyrant, or haven't quite achieved every expectation of their aspiring middle class parents. They're riddled with self loathing.

In short. Smile in amusement, check ego, move on.

What's a statitic?

And yet you passed comment of our attitude to our national anthem...

I'd rather have the UK...you should be able to challenge something which which you feel is not acceptable.

Then again a driver parked next to me at the re-cycling depot did ask me if I'd like a thump for asking him to turn off his engine....it had been running for 1/4 hour!

I'm a fit alpha male, OAP....5'4" cyclist 😉

And yet you passed comment of our attitude to our national anthem…

Huh?

@howsyourdad1: that's an interesting comparison. Thanks for that.

"Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins and all that…"

Haven't you just judged several people? 🙂

“Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins and all that…”

....because then, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their moccasins.

Can say whatever you like with impunity then.

you okay hun ?

Who the hell is this man?

Ronnie Pickering?

What’s a statitic?

A Canadian I think.

Haven’t you just judged several people?

Not getting this. How is describing the behaviour of some people, whose words and actions have had a direct impact on others, judging?

I strongly believe that a person should feel free to comment of the state of the world; debate with colleagues; try to describe situations they see around them; can believe that all bike riders everywhere should wear helmets at all times... I just don't think it's very helpful or nice behaviour to comment on the non-harmful activities of another person to his/her face, when s/he is only going about his/her life.

Hypothetical scenario:

You're suffering depression, and this has been exacerbated by some terrible news you have just been made aware of by a phone call. In an effort to feel better, you go out for a walk with your baby daughter in her pram, mulling over your feelings while taking comfort in the quiet pleasure of being out with your beloved child.

Suddenly, your longed-for solace is broken by some cranky sod walking her bichon frise, who tells you in a not-very-nice tone that you should have put a hat on your baby and covered her better. No greeting. Nothing. Just that.

How would that make you feel if you were that person out with your daughter?

Not read the replies, only the original post.

I think you are being a bit sensitive, but yeah, no reason why these people can't mind their own business.  Either ignore them or tell them to jeff off, depending on the scenario.  I don't really see this as a British thing.  Accept there are plenty of dicks about, wherever you go, and you are bound to run into them every so often.

It’s definitely a British cultural “ting”.

Should be an instant ban unless you are Jamaican (how's that for minding your own business)

Two ways of putting it

WHAT was so wrong with Canada that you left?

SECONDLY you can always piss off back if you don't like it.

I'd rather live in a  cohesive society where people look out for each other than one that consists of a collection of individuals.

Two ways of putting it
WHAT was so wrong with Canada that you left?
SECONDLY you can always piss off back if you don’t like it.

Good argument well made.

I'll just mosey on back to Canada, then, and make sure I don't ask any questions/pose any challenges/express any thoughts or feelings on the way out.

SECONDLY you can always piss off back if you don’t like it

Classy

I totally agree. Ive lived in America, Australia, New Zealand and Norway and never met a single nosey or opinionated person. Still what do you expect from a bunch of uppity colonists and whale killers.

Two ways of putting it

WHAT was so wrong with Canada that you left?

SECONDLY you can always piss off back if you don’t like it.

A career at the home office beckons.

And yet you passed comment of our attitude to our national anthem…

Huh?

You did call us all cynical for suggesting our national was a joke/dirge/jingoism/propaganda.

You didn't have to but you did. Where is the difference.

Also whats your opinion of preachers standing in the street and reciting scripture?

I'm not having a go. I think you are one of the most patient and skilled debaters on this site especially around your specialist and extremely divisive subject! Infact i'm genuinely surprised the op came from you.

I personally think living in a country where people talk without the fear of getting deaded in a hail of bullets isn't all bad and goes someway to reducing the build up of anger.

my kids (we’re talking between the ages of 2 and 6) have been told off by random strangers in the local park either for picking up some of the daffodils that they have found lying on the ground.

yeah right!

I totally agree. Ive lived in America, Australia, New Zealand and Norway and never met a single nosey or opinionated person.

Don't believe you.

Should be an instant ban unless you are Jamaican (how’s that for minding your own business)

One of the last people I would have marked down as a believer in the evils of cultural appropriation.

🙂

Saxon me old fruit,you need to have some set replies ready for these moments

My commute on Monday morning...

Passing a big long line of stationary traffic at road works..

DRIVER1: "Why are you not using the cycle lane?"

ME: "It's full of penguins"

DRIVER1: ??

ME: "L8rs"

DRIVER2: " *&%*^ CYCLE LANE *&*^%$*  YOU MUPPET"

ME: "So this is your life,shouting at cyclists on the way to work ?"

DRIVER2: "*&^*@**%**@@^^"

ME: " Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha "

ME: ” Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ”

Oh the joy of just laughing at others who are being irrationally argumentative/obnoxious. It's my preferred solution.

OTOH Given the steep decline in police budgets one of the few ways that anti-social behaviour can be deterred is by the expression of social opprobrium.

ads678 you tell ex colonists what to think. You don't listen to them. You'll be wearing a jumper with your suit next!

Indeed verses,along with winking or blowing them a kiss. 😉

WHAT was so wrong with Canada that you left?

SECONDLY you can always piss off back if you don’t like it.

Prince Phillip, is that you?

Funny this gets mentioned.... having lived in places all round the world and being born a northerner and living in the souff at the moment....

I was at Swinley last weekend with the nipper (who seems to always have unsolicited advice for everyone but I'll get to that)...

Anyway, some bloke and his family were cycling (more pushing) the wrong way round (without helmets) to which I just couldn't be bothered... the nipper was seasoning the little drops now "Cooper's Fall" ...

We caught up with some other people later and they were saying (sic) "how rude, I was only trying to tell him the route's in the other direction" .... I had a bit of a grin ...

When I got back the parking the nipper wanted 10 mins in the kids playground and I would have liked a coffee (but settled for the stuff they sell at the cafe) ... and the bloke who's family were riding the wrong way came and asked me unsolicited advice on what he needed to buy to ride at Swinley...

I kinda started off saying a helmet would be a good investment... and mentioned I'd met some others who'd tried to advise him he was going the wrong way... and much as it might hurt a bit hitting someone conning fast down a trail being hit by a bike going fast will almost always end up worse for the one not moving...

He tried apologising to me and I said I wasn't the one he'd shouted at...

Incidentally in line with Saxon I do find the whole British "Kids can't ....." freakin annoying...

I'm with the OP 100% on this, unless someone is in real danger, then mind your own business.
Earlier in the week I cut my hand quite badly and it was pissing blood, I was riding very carefully on a shared use path back home when I passed a couple of OAPS giving them a cheery 'Good afternoon' to alert them that I was approaching. All I got back was 'Find a bell and ring it'. Well actually I do have a bell but I chose to speak to you rather than ring it because my hand is dripping with blood you inconsiderate arseholes.

I put it to you SaxonRider, that the aforementioned gentleman actually said you ‘ I would suggest you are a helmet ‘ 😉

ME: “L8rs”

Why were you texting him?

I've had the same in Cardiff.

Sometimes I wear a helmet and sometimes, I don't - depends where I'm going.

But it's like a mania, a hysteria, that impels people to reprimand you.

And it's all done in the name of safety. But a helmet fundamentalist would like nothing better than to see you injure yourself - to prove their point.

I wonder what would happen if TJ kicked a helmet-wearing dog?

The bloody bell one annoys me. When I don't have a bell is because where I'm riding doesn't need one and the riding I'm doing might involve crashing and breaking said bell. I occasionally get the "get a bell" yet they saw me a mile off and there's a wide path with plenty of room to give way and they're not going to be mowed down. It's just a busy body thing where they want to have a rant and not ringing a bell is an excuse to do so.

Occasionally I point out how bells can be ineffective, often poorly made, and some consider them rude or jump out of their skin. Not to mention useless with the hordes of people wearing headphones or deaf OAPs.

And then if I do have a bell (my "tow path bell" as I get fed up of "get a bell" down the tow path), I instead get, in a sarcastic tone... "at least you *have* a bell". Yeah, thanks for that. Couldn't think up something else to moan about I guess.

 At 6’4″ with a shaved head, I seldom seem to get “helpful bits of advice” from random punters.

Become a pub landlord and you'll have instant access to every **** and his dog's opinion on how to run your business. 😉

don't think anyone has mentioned the elephant in the room: its always old people who do this. Blue rinsers. Men with sticks. With no exceptions. GET IN THE SEA.

One of the last people I would have marked down as a believer in the evils of cultural appropriation.

Ha, Not worried about the cultural appropriation, it just makes someone sound like such a **** that it's cringe inducing.

 wonder what would happen if TJ kicked a helmet-wearing dog?

Do you remember when they crossed the streams in Ghostbusters?

I have three kids and they have never been told off in a park.  Perhaps your kids are just naughty.

Another good response to any ‘advisory’ comment is “thanks, I’ll take it under advisement” and carry on riding.

Accept there are plenty of dicks about, wherever you go, and you are bound to run into them every so often.

Wise words from angeldust.

And it is mostly old people that offer unsolicited advice. Take comfort in the fact that they’ll be dead soon.

The bloody bell one annoys me.

I hate the get a bell crowd. Guess what dickhead? I can’t hear you walking, why don’t you wear a bell like a mountain goat so I know you’re hanging about just after this bend. If you can’t hear my Hope hub you ain’t hearing a bell.

simple advice

I used to be the worlds worst, especially feeling indignant with other drivers. Then I read an article about a motorbike club in the US, and that was their only rule. It stuck with me and now I take a deep breath and practice patience before responding. Seems to work for me, doesn't matter how loud you shout, you'll never change people

Another good response to any ‘advisory’ comment is “thanks, I’ll take it under advisement” and carry on riding.

Like the Brexit referendum 😁

Guess what dickhead? I can’t hear you walking, why don’t you wear a bell like a mountain goat so I know you’re hanging about just after this bend.

Whaaaat?

This response works well for me.

Guess what dickhead? I can’t hear you walking, why don’t you wear a bell like a mountain goat so I know you’re hanging about just after this bend.

Whaaaat?

Yeah, I went a bit ranty there for a second. Just bugs me. I’m on a bike that makes lots of noise. Walkers are walking ergo not much noise. They should be made to wear cowbells around their necks so that I can hear them. Seems fair to me. Either that or Hope should make walking sticks with a built in freehub. Sort of like those metre sticks they had at school 😀

Old people - Motivated to engineer their surroundings by any means fair or foul, so they can cope better with life i.e. by reducing speeds of things and crowding they can't cope with.

Dog walkers - Want the countryside (within reach of a car park) as their exclusive lead free doggy playground and dog toilet. Other people can get teh **** I'm not keeping Kato, Tyson and Zeus under control.

Covers the main thrust of arsehole you get in **** You Britain. Created and voted for by grey haired two faced liars, who vote in/incite like minded, to by proxy screw other people over.