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Playing a game with myself on the motorway this morning which I though I'd extend to STW. So what mid life crisis car/Dads Taxi with the suggested brief:
a) Its Sporty, grrrr
b) Its thought to be attractive to the object of your sexual preference at the School/Sports kids drop off
c) Is practical for Dads hobby, lets say biking in this instance, and reliable.
d) Surfs the motorways in comfort in work time
e) Doesn't cost more than £10k.
?
Subara estate jobbie thing.
mini moke should suit.
That's tough. Sporty, practical and £10k
Haven't checked prices recently, E46 or E90 M3 maybe?
I would have said Audi RS4 but the £10k bit kills it
Oh my gosh - how many times!!! Rover 75 Estate diesel. Meets all the criteria.....especially B.
Most requirements are mutually exclusive. B isn't even A Thing 😀
Practical means big to me. Doesn't work with sporty. Sporty doesn't work with motorway cruising.
This is clearly an automotive N+1 situation.
Legacy/Saab 9-5 Aero/S4 Avant for the sensible one. Depending on choice of that, you'll have 4-8k left over for the sporty/fun one. At which point the world is your oyster. If you're seeking the approval of an object of desire, then a classic is often the non threatening, non compensating choice.
Something like a GT6/MGB, a really nice Mk1 MR2, a mk1 mx5, take your pick really!
B) is incompatible with c) and d)
Unless the required reaction is "ooh that person looks sensible, reliable and will be a good provider"
RS6 🙂
"ooh that person looks sensible, reliable and will be a good provider”"
oh he looks like James May ?
b) Its thought to be attractive to the object of your sexual preference at the School/Sports kids drop off
Be specific as the type of vehicle depends on the answer - are you after the type of school mum who...
a) swallows
b) wears a latex glove before touching your member
🙂
Be specific as the type of vehicle depends on the answer – are you after the type of school mum who…
a) swallows
b) wears a latex glove before touching your membe
Either sounds OK 🙂
One day, you will succumb.. enter the world, forget the badge posturing and lace curtain twitching..
Can be had <8k and cover all your requirements (I found MOAB one on eBay the other day for £6900)
https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F232496084552
Excellent. 1 out of 5 met.
Antithesis of the other 4 acheived.
I reckon I hit 4/5 on K’s requirements scale.. guess which one my choice doesn’t achieve..
Alfa Brera. Possibly struggles with C), but might manage.
Mid life crisis cars shouldn't have a sensible budget
RS6
GTO obviously. Hatchback for bike loading... nice to look at... fast... less than £10k.
I think he should just get the Audi and have done with it.
Porsche 944 should do the trick. My 924 was £1400, cruised to Stuttgart and back with bikes on the roof and a boot full of camping gear, it will take a child seat in the back, it looks sporty (it isn't, hence my recommendation for a 944) and we had at least two lots of pretty young women take photos of us in traffic jams (though that might have been the moustache I grew for the trip). Although my wife found it terrifying.
Also, a 944 will make you money.
As above RS4 ..but while it would be possible to get one for 10k it's age and mileage would rule it out ..
Not really bothered about the other criteria ..and I'm way past mid life ..but as a last hurrah that car has been talked about ...( 15 year old son is fairly adamant that is what we are getting !! )
As a fully qualified middle aged person I can tell you the way to a woman's heart is with a car perfected for the tip run!
Show me where an rs4 is 10 grand.
4.2 V8 Supercharged Range Rover anyone?
Less than £10K
All boxes ticked.
Davey boy etc.
A fairly quick search pulled up one at 12k at a dealers 2007 with 146k mileage..Im sure with a bit more research I could find one privately for 10k ..but like I said ..age & mileage would rule it out ..and I'm not here to find one for you ..
Have a look yourself !
Crew cab Toyota hilux , keep thinking I should buy a pick up to replace my van and scratch the mid life crisis itch. Failing that a Massey ferguson 35 which probably fails to meet a few of the op criteria
Some sort of Alpina estate - B10 V8?
Given that you can get a bike onto just about anything, I'd say stretch the budget ever so slightly and get a Lotus Elise. After 06 they come with Toyota engines and are totally reliable. I ran one as a daily driver for a couple of years and would have another in a heartbeat. I had the 111R with the touring pack. 189hp gives a sub 5 second 0-60, it's happy cruising or thrashing, I found it as good as anything else I've owned on long journeys (I regularly do an 800 mile trip to my folks in Ireland). One of the cheapest cars to run I've owned as well. Fully comp insurance was £200, dealer servicing is Toyota prices, cheap tyres if you ignore the Lotus branded stuff (I ran Toyo Proxes).
My current drive is a Caddy 2.0 Highline. Chipped to 180hp, lowered and bigger wheels.
Playing with myself on the motorway this morning which I though I’d extend to STW. So what mid life crisis car/Dads Taxi with the suggested brief:
a) It's restrained and tasteful rather than being some naff, wide-boy, penis substitute with a huge spoiler and impractical low profile tyres that cost £500 a corner to replace.
b) It's discrete enough that the object of your secret passion at the school gates will not dismiss you as an attention-seeking knob. (please don't tell Mrs BWD about this one)
c) It has a boot.
d) Can cruise at speeds up to 80mph without exploding.
e) Doesn’t cost more than £1k.
?
Well-sorted RX-7?
@BWD
I think you'll get arrested if you continue to play with yourself on the motorway.
Might as well go with BB's suggestion - I just gave one back after 80k trouble free miles and it was surprisingly good. Could still have some fun hustling it down a country road for up to 60 seconds before catching the next car. The Passat GTE I have now is nicer to drive but doesn't get me home any faster. If I was spending my own money I'd seriously consider a Zafira tourer if only for the bloody comfy seats.
As for B we're over 40 so invisible to the opposite sex anyway, you're only fooling yourself!
RS6. But it blows the £10k budget.
Or a T5, again blows the budget, but it will win the sports day and the Yummy Mummy's approval. If that's your thing.
Lets face it, it's going to be a big estate car and without the sporty excitement. The midlife crisis bit will promote you from invisible to **** anyway.
I think you’ll get arrested if you continue to play with yourself on the motorway.
I just wanted to extend it to STW. Nowt wrong with sharing.
Bmw m3, but you wont find one for 10k i reckon
Well-sorted RX-7?
He said reliable!
I think if this thread process one thing, it's that people's definitions of 'sporty' vary quite considerably.
When I needed a midlife crisis car 19 years ago I had to have a Mk1 Lotus Elise. It was a joy until I could no longer afford to keep it, servicing, insurance etc. Would not tick boxes C and D but you might get a high mileage Mk1 for under 10K (probs knackered tho)
As much as I love them I don't think the RS4/RS6 options qualify. The OP specified it had to be attractive to whomever you want to be attracted to you and these cars are stealth wagons, so to the untrained eye....i.e. most people, they look like the normal hum drum dull as ditchwater Audi A4 and A6 Avants. And the space in an A4 Avant is crap, not much bigger or more convenient than an normal hatchback so they're not even that practical, so fail on two of the OP's criteria. Also the cost of running and fixing an RS4/RS6 Is just simply unaffordable for most people.
It's a midlife crisis at the end of the day so something a bit niche/rare and/or interesting. I'd compromise on the practicality element as that is what roof racks and bike racks are for. I like the 944 idea as I used to have one and it was brilliant....but finding decent ones these days is hard and more expensive as they're appreciating in value and getting some spare parts for them is getting tricky and becoming more expensive...one reason why I got rid of mine. And also not many have A/C and those that do the A/C system will either not be functioning or not functioning well and to fix them is eye wateringly expensive.....and with the large glass tailgate they act as green houses on wheels when the sun is out and looking like a sweaty mess is not conducive to looking cool or attractive.
It's a tough one...not sure what the answer is. The Alfa is probably along the right lines though I'd say....but only the v6 models.
Playing with myself
I just wanted to extend it
Well, they do kind of go hand in hand. So to speak.
a) It’s restrained and tasteful rather than being some naff, wide-boy, penis substitute with a huge spoiler and impractical low profile tyres that cost £500 a corner to replace.
b) It’s discrete enough that the object of your secret passion at the school gates will not dismiss you as an attention-seeking knob. (please don’t tell Mrs BWD about this one)
c) It has a boot.
d) Can cruise at speeds up to 80mph without exploding.
e) Doesn’t cost more than £1k.
In the greatest STW "what I've got is ace" style you need a Saab 9-3 or 9-5 estate.
Been running a 9-3 estate 2L turbo petrol for the last 4 years, debadged, discreet, loads of power, not too bad on a run (35mpg aveage), takes 3 bikes, loads of cup holders and the legendary night mode on the display for late night driving. Available for peanuts, if it breaks just scrap it and buy another.
Crying by myself on the motorway this morning, I thought I’d share to STW.
So what mid life remedy has you welling up as you exit junction 9,frantically looking for a quiet layby and some glimmer of hope.
- Phone Louise?
- Try and make yourself much more attractive to the object of your sexual preference at the next sales meeting?
- Start a practical ,rewarding, and satisfying hobby that will not just be a fad?
- Find something that frees the mind in the comfort of a your work environment?
- Anything that doesn’t cost more than is emotionally necessary?
I'm amazed no-one has said this yet, but the car you need, Kryton, is a heritage Italian estate with matching shades for those summer school morning drop-offs.
I know it, you know it, everyone else here knows it. You had it dude, you had everything. And then you threw it all away 🙁
rx7
He said reliable!
To quote my colleague who owns one : "they are reliable, it's just that the engine is a service item"
To quote my colleague who owns one : “they are reliable, it’s just that the engine is a service item”
As an owner of 10 years, less than 8k miles, and two engine rebuilds, I'd wholeheartedly agree!
Well, and the fragile engine looms, they're a service item, and the pillowballs at the rear, and...
330 estate
S4 avant
or as i did RX8 🙂
that RS4 will probably need another 10k spending on it.
Slightly stretching the "sporty" requirement, but aces everything else:
Volvo XC60 R-design - £9,980
https://www.pistonheads.com/classifieds/used-cars/volvo/xc60/volvo-xc60/8426557
Alfa Brera. Possibly struggles with C), but might manage.
Requires suitably stylish sunglasses.
Slightly stretching the “sporty” requirement, but aces everything else:
Volvo XC60
Doubt it.
Even the perfect specimen of hunky manlinesss that is Captain Flashheart can't make a Volvo SUV sexy 😉
I had an XC 60 r design overnight once as an extended test drive..I liked the car well enough but the auto gearbox had a mind of its own and changed down at will ..and I just thought that with a bit of a heavy foot I would be putting fuel in every 10 mins😁
<10k and 0-60 in under 5 seconds? might be a bit thirsty...
The Chicks dig them (XC60's) though!
If you want a car that appears "sexy" to the opposite sex, then you need to look at that car though their eyes and not your own!
ime, the car that women have found by far the "sexiest" is a VW split screen camper van! Despite being slow, dangerous, horrible to drive, and more likely to break down than sienna miller, women are totally blinded by the romance of them!
Step out of them, and they see you as this guy i think:
😉
Kryton is probably looking interesting this thread and pissing himself laughing 🤠
Every other couple of weeks a car thread comes up, we get all excited and post options.. he sits back and snorts at the options available.
We’re mugs..
But I do love playing a “what car for Kryton?” game..
👍👊🍩
Its the bi monthly Kryton car thread.
Whats wrong with your current 1 series, or the RS 6/4 you were getting or the myriad of other cars you were getting?
How often do you switch the traction control off in your current car?
we get all excited and post options
To be fair it sounds like he was getting very excited in his car this morning
If you want a car that appears “sexy” to the opposite sex, then you need to look at that car though their eyes and not your own!
He's right. Big, modern, powerful, brutish german cars probably aren't the way to go, especially 2nd or third hand, Sonny.
Something older, prettier and more lively, needing a firm yet delicate touch is the way to go.
^^^^^^^
Sounds like Swiss Tony has arrived.
I actually bought a Zafira Tourer as my mid life crisis car. That's because the crisis of my mid life was not being able to fit all the kid seats in the previous car.
🙂
Indeed, and your bikes and stuff to take to the tip.
Its by far the best option for anyone, never mind a Mid Life Crisis Male.
E46 M3 - If you don't mind high running costs and low MPG... This is STW, so I'll go with you do mind those..
So for the BMW range, that leaves you with the 335i or a 130i, just north above 10k will get you the 135i.
The SRT obviously. It's American Sporty rather than European Sporty though.
A Renault scenic would cover everything except the sporty bit. I’ve given quite a number of women at my work a lift in mine, every one of them (unsolicited) has said they liked it.
So, it seems, if you want to attract the ladies, buy a shit french car.
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My 42nd birthday pressie. Considerably less than 10k, surprisingly practical... I think it looks lush... and it goes.
I think it looks lush… and it goes.
Considerably slower than the z4m coupe, which you know deep down is what you should have got
I've just returned to the thread and
Kryton is probably looking interesting this thread and pissing himself laughing
This. You know I'm not buying a car right? Just playing 6am Motorway Bingo.
I’m amazed no-one has said this yet, but the car you need, Kryton, is a heritage Italian estate with matching shades for those summer school morning drop-offs.
I know it, you know it, everyone else here knows it. You had it dude, you had everything. And then you threw it all away
It wasn't my fault the air intake was I the wheel arch!
Under 10k, Boxer flat 4, the ladies will be more interested in your "out going personality" than what badge you drive around in, ideal for the UK's appalling road network..
Considerably slower than the z4m coupe, which you know deep down is what you should have got
Can you get a bike in the back? If so...
Nearly the end of page 2 and no one suggested Skoda Octavia yet?
No, Octavia for after your mid life crisis, when you’ve basically given up 😣
I'm thinking it might be more useful to talk about the mid-life crisis than about the car. It could save a bunch of cash as well.
I bought my sort of mid-life crisis car - a Corrado VR6 - before I had a mid-life crisis. So far it seems to have worked like a sort of inoculation and the crisis has never arrived, so my advice would be to buy a suitable car before you actually get the yearning to do it.
HTH.
My midlife crisis car would probably be a Maserati Levante - struggling with e) <£10k though!
335i Touring (E90) in black with m-sport pack
Bikebouy was very close, what he meant to post was this:
https://www.motors.co.uk/car-48656301/?i=1&m=sp
or https://www.motors.co.uk/car-48467433/?i=2&m=sp
Fullfills all the criteria, carries a shitload of stuff, looks good, and goes like the clappers, the Zafira VXR!
Absolutely mad concept, take a family MPV and stick a potent turbo 2 litre that’ll take it up to around 160mph!
Or.. something thats increasing in value..
Obvz I don't know what haircut you have or whether you wear bellbottom Jeans and shiny black patent leather loafers.. nor a handsome chestwig.. but I give you the: 3.2 version Audi TT Mk1
As I'm bored and lonely in a hotel I read a review of that Subaru. Not really a comfy mile muncher is it...
335i Touring (E90) in black with m-sport pack
Almost had me considering changing my mind...
Considerably slower than the z4m coupe, which you know deep down is what you should have got
It is a bit slower... but a LOT cheaper 😉
People in the know also suggest that the slower one is the better road car - something to do with less stiff suspension, lower nose weight, smaller wheels with more tyre squish... and a non-fat steering wheel.
I wouldn't know mind. It was a pressie... and it is a lot of fun 😉
(Did I mention it was very, very cheap)
As for a bike - I think you could mount a Saris on the back. The boot is pretty damn large for such a car, but I haven't tried fitting a bike in... think it would be a struggle though!
Why do you need Comfy? And what's the criteria for "comfy"
Any BMW with RunFlats is a pile of vibrating/teeth jarring/spine busting "Ultimate Driving Spleen Shattering Machine"
That XV would be far more comfortable than any UDM..