[Closed] Mental health issues and telling family and friends

I told my siblings when I had a tough patch a year ago. All v supportive and we're not close. Didn't tell my mum as she was near he end (died in December). I've not told all my friends but some may know as I mention it here sometimes.

It definitely helped at the time, ultimately it was up to me to get through it, medication and having a job I enjoyed helped, although I switched projects at work as that was a cause.

Otherwise talk to folk, get busy doing what you enjoy (the buzz WILL return) and make changes to you or your life to help, as much as you can. There may be talking therapy avsilavai on NHS? Or pay...

Yes, count me in. Today is day 2 of Sertraline for me. CBT and mindfulness recently started.

We've had a nightmare 18 months of family illness here, old and young. The unrelenting strain of providing care and the daily sight of the one's loved ones failing is a cruel and unusual torture I'm just not built for.

GPs can be good, have a google for IAPT services too as that can be a faster route to specialist help.

As for telling others, I've not held back and told the people around me all the way. I've not said much on here, but that would be more about not talking about my families' illnesses rather than mine. Everyone has been supportive and offered help, your GP will too. Write down your bullet points to work through with your GP, but also an expanded version with what you want to say so you can just hand it to them to read when you find yourself in tears unable to talk much, I've been there.

Good luck and keep buggering on.

Everyone loses their shit at some point, some are lucky to have good support, some are good at hiding it. If the people you confide in don't help or understand, keep looking for someone to talk to, there are many solutions just keep trying - dont be put off by the MTFU brigade, they are arseholes. Good luck.

When I told my mother I had been diagnosed by the doctor with a mental health condition, she told me it was nonsense and I didn't have said condition.

One of many reasons I haven't spoken to her in almost 4 years

I've lived with mental health and anxiety issues for most of the last ~25 years, to various levels. I have occasion good days between spring and autumn, but typically, I experience the world through a woolly interface with paranoia sometimes thrown in for good measure.

When it all began in the early 1990s, I tried to hide it from others, but I soon got tired of hiding it from friends and family. When I began working again after several years signed off by my GP, I then made of a point of making sure managers were aware, because on bad days I can be like a petrol car that has had its tank filled with diesel.

I tend to talk to strangers more than friends as most of my friends can't deal with it /go straight into denial mode. I don't bother talking to family about it at all as sympathy just wouldn't help.

Other people with issues can be more receptive, I had a nice chat with a fairly recovered alcoholic the other day, and although we have different things going on there are parallels.

I have been entirely honest with my family, because if I wasn't, they would all wonder why I had stopped responding to them or communicating in any way.

When I get hit, I just can't bring myself to correspond when I am struggling just to get through a day's work. Like now.

I can post on here because I find it a good respite from my mental disarray, but if you were to send me a personal message, I would probably go into a type of mental paralysis.

I do tend to hide it at work, though, as I have to be 'strong'. 🙂

OP - try running - it certainly has a lot more effect on my state of mind than cycling does.

I started having panic attacks when I was 18. They carried on up until I was about 30 odd. I'm 44 now and through all that time have been on some sort of medication for depression. Currently sertraline.

I still really, really struggle to find any point in my existence. Almost daily my thoughts go that way.

It's very difficult to deal with and very difficult for others to deal with but I do tell people. My mum has always helped and my girlfriend helps now but it's quite difficult maintaining an adult relationship when you often feel like you don't want to exist and you have zero interest in the physical aspects of relationships.

Very difficult. You're not alone op.

I had anxiety, burn out and was depressed arising from repeated indirect trauma which snapped me last year. don't know what counts as serious; five or so weeks off sick in a bad state, dabbled around the edges of self harm with one go at it, long period of psychotherapy and EMDR afterwards.  Wife obviously knew all about it and I was happy to chat about it with family. Chatting with work colleagues was fine as we all did the same shit that made me ill. For me eventually I could rationalise it as an illness and not a failure on my part but it took a while to get to that stage and that was part of the reason I became ill not seeking or realising I needed help earlier and being in a culture that paid lip service to looking after mental wellbeing .

Best of luck

Bipolar Affective Disorder. 700mg of Quetiapine daily. It's hard to stay awake.

If you can't speak to your family or your GP. Write it down on a piece of paper and hand it over. If you can't do that, ask your girlfriend to go to the GP with you and let her talk for you.

You have an illness. If people disregard it, they have the problem. A part of your mind is broken. Would you try and hide a broken femur?

This https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/twintowers540miles  has given me something to focus on which has helped hugely. I need to get back to it actually. I've had a knee injury that needed help. I was getting quite manic but now I'm back into training, I'm calming down again.

I watched the whole Zoe Ball programme last night - very interesting.

The stand out for me was that the 40s seems to be a critical point for men in particular. I’m 43,so it got me thinking. It’s a pretty stressful time as a bloke.

You are no longer young, starting to feel/look your age.

Kids becoming teens - lots going on.

Parents just starting to get old/health issues.

probably getting senior at work - stressful.

I don’t consider myself to have mental health issues, but definately feel all of the above at different points.

The one thing I took away from The Zoe Ball programme was the importance of being able to talk, being understood, and listened to, without “trying to solve it”

Mine have been relatively minor tbh- work related stress a few years back that turned me into a wreck, and currently reasonably bad anxiety and pretty mild depression. I just tell people. If people don't react well that's their problem not mine, just like with my diabetes.

I totally understand why it's so different for some people but I'm lucky, for me it's just a thing.

I battled for a long time believing I was ok whereas my whole world around me thought differently.

Take the help. Talking helps. Lots of talking. Get a therapist. If you don’t get on, change therapist. I went through about 8 before I finally found one that helped.

Dont think pills will fix you. They will help put you in a place where you are able to deal with the underlying cause.

I was over worked, suffered a lot from various traumas and was in a toxic relationship. This caused a lot of problems- self harm, attempts at killing myself and phases of extreme mania. I was sectioned twice.  When these issues were faced, I was able to move on.

5 years ago I was working 16 hours a day living in hotel rooms mid week.

Now i take tourists on bike tours along the river Danube in the Wachau region of Austria. Life is good.

Anyone who wants a talk, my mail is in profile.

Nearly 4 months into sick leave for stress related problems at work. Didn't recognise and ignored the signs leading up to it, just kept on MTFUing. When it came the descent was breathtakingly fast and lead into what I can honestly say is the scariest month of my life so far. Family support is critical. Meditation has helped me a lot, 3 months of patchy practicing has resulting in my mind finally shutting up and letting me chill out. I'm now doing meditation daily, so amazing to have a quiet mind!

So (serious question this) how do you know its an mental health issue and not just you being grumpy/unhappy?

When do you know you need to be seeking help ?

So (serious question this) how do you know its an mental health issue and not just you being grumpy/unhappy?

Difficult question with a difficult answer.

It's insidious. You probably won't know, until one day, something will happen which will make sure that you ( and everyone around you)  absolutely know and then, looking back in retrospect you'll realise that it was obvious to everyone else that something was wrong.

This will be the day you finally ask someone for help.

Speaking from the other side of the equation, if you are struggling, please speak up, loud and soon.

I was devastated when I realised how long my wife had been incorporating coping strategies into her life and hiding her problems from me, because she didn't want to worry me or anyone else.

For the record, I'd have put myself in the 'how could you NOT know??' camp - we've barely been apart in 28 years, and have never had any serious relationship problems - had know idea there was a problem till crisis point.

I have some issues but they're pretty minor compared to what many go through. That said even mild symptoms can be pretty unpleasant when you're living through them. I'm a fairly internal person so I've rarely talked about this sort of thing. Fortunately for me my last particularly bad episode happened in front of a good friend who was able to persuade me to not bury or ignore it. My intrinsic fear of broaching such a topic was neatly avoided by having someone who already knew about it.

I've since told my parents and a few other friends. Mostly the friends had spotted hints or had asked me a question that would have required a lie to avoid the subject. Actually phoning up my parents and telling them unbidden was pretty hard for me but they've been supportive, albeit in the sort of "don't know how or when to talk about this" manner that I'm pretty sure is how I'd react to this sort of thing in others.

Talking about mental health is awkward but it is also much better than not talking about it.

IANAD but from the questioning I had there are indicators that things are going a bit Pete tong; alcohol issues, sleep problems, raised aggression, appetite variations, sleep problems. Etc which indicate a bit more than grumpiness. The problem is you've got to have the self awareness to recognise these factors.

It can be hard to admit to having mental health problems, especially if the main issue is anxiety.

Going to see your GP tomorrow, make a list of what you feel the problems are and take it with you to make sure you don't miss points.

Personally, i have Autism traits (but no longer diagnosable), ADHD, depression and anxiety, mainly of social issues.

The drugs don't work for me, I'm taking supplements (St John's wort, 5 HTP and L-Tyrosine, do read up if considering this combination) Yoga and bootcamp sessions once a week each, every other day is a 20minute HIIT session from Youtube, and some other getting fitter bits and bobs. I'm also going to meetups for ADHD and Social anxiety, and counseling supplied by a charity for people who feel life is no longer worth living.

It's a challenge, but you do need to push yourself a little bit. It's good to remember that very, very few people actually have a life free of stress and spend their time languishing on rose petals. It's also not actually bad to be sensitive, but it is a good idea to learn to cope in a better way.

I don’t make any attempt to hide it when i’m Really struggling. Which I do periodically when the darkness descends. I used too, and would self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that that didn’t work. To say the least!

At the start of the week I sent out this email to the MNPR regulars to explain my continued absence:

Hope you're all well. I'm not going to be out tonight, as has become usual. There is a reason for it, and its not entirely weather/Susan related</span>

Its generally said that we should try and de-stigmatice mental health issues, and we should talk about it instead, so I'm going to. Whether you like it or not. So there!

I've been struggling with and fighting depression recently. And I know I'm not alone. This isn't a new thing. I've suffered in the past. But I've been back in some very dark places again of late.

I know that in the past getting out on the bike has really formed a key part in me overcoming it. Hell, I even wrote an article on it a few years back which Chipps was daft enough to publish. But this time has been different. Its completely sapped my motivation to do anything. This is a new one on me, and I've never felt like this before. The bike was always my go-to, and the relentless piss-taking from you lot always helped deliver a sense of perspective on a Monday.

So I finally admitted defeat last week, went to the docs, and I've got a course of antidepressants. Fingers crossed they'll do me some good in the long-term . Its not started well. They take a bit of adjusting to. They've floored me, to be honest. I tried to get out on the bike last night week, and was absolutely all over the place. I was feeling dizzy with legs like a new-born foul when I made it up to the tower, and had to come home and go to bed. It was a very weird experience. I got told off by the doc as it expressly says to avoid strenuous exercise for the first few weeks as the whole dizzy/new-born foul thing happens. Apparently this levels out after a few weeks, and you return to some semblance of normality, but in the meantime I've got to take it very easy and adjust.

So there you have it. Just felt like offloading really as I'm having a really bad today, and I'm not in a good place at all.

You can file it under more of my inane ramblings, but you're all my friends, so I thought that sharing might help. I know I'm not the only one who's been there.

Fingers crossed that in a few weeks I can turn to the welcoming bosum of the Monday Night Fold, and resume my rear-gunner status, moan about the climbs, get us lost in bogs, and generally enjoying a pint and crisps afterwards.... the usual

Peace out!

Susan

In reply I got exactly what I expected. A lot of lovely, supportive and encouraging messages, with still the requisite amount of piss-taking. Because they’re my friends. So now you lot know too that my heads a right old state at the moment. Well.....  more so than usual.

I’m off out for a meal with my incredibly supportive wife and parents tonight, who to be fair to them have seen me worse.... in proper basket case/gibbering wreck mode. I’m not good at the moment but i’m Some way short of past episodes. Thankfully. Everything’s relative

Binners has it.

You have nothing to lose by telling people, there can be a lot of anxiety about it in your head (obvs) but that's all it is.

<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">For me it was a good way of normalising it, and realising it was just fear.</span>

("Feel the Fear and do it anyway" is a great book covering...erm...fear)

Tell your freinds and family, its just another illness like IBS or Ulcers etc, some people will laugh, some will not believe you, some may even shun you, but it wil open your eyes to how people react, some cant understand health problems some are willing to help.

Its not like youre coming out gay on a construction site or manufacturing plant

I’ve suffered with depression for the last 13 years with periods of crippling anxiety and panic attacks. Also diagnosed with Aspergers 16 months ago.

I’ve pushed (well stepped back and away from) a lot of friends away, I’ve become quite insular due to self confidence and self belief being non existent. I got fed up of always letting people down so now I’ve separated myself from folk so I don’t have to let them down, my social life is non existent and if it wasn’t for family I’d be very lonely... I don’t want to be, I hate that I’m like this, I’m just fed up of letting folk down, fed up of feeling so shit about myself and that im no good for anyone and I’m just absolutely worthless... I hate that it’s cost me jobs and relationships, that it’s caused me to push people away, I hate that I’m just floating through life with no direction and no love... I want to be happy, I want friends, I want a relationship and to be in love, I want a job that I enjoy and I can do without my anxiety and depression affecting, I want to be there for others, I want to be confident....But I’ve just turned 40 and thanks to my head I’ve got sweet FA.

A lot of good advice here, my own experience of mental health problems was limited to a dark period in the late 90s/early 00s, but I’d put that down to too many youthful excesses taking their toll on my developing psyche.

these days I’m a mental health nurse of 10 years’ experience and currently training to be an Approved Mental Health Professional.  I see a lot of different families and carers and would say that the sooner people know what you’re going through the sooner they will accept it and be able to support you.  Often families already have an idea that something isn’t right, so being open can reduce any doubts they may have.

good luck and stay strong.  It may be difficult but it will get easier with each step.  The GP might refer you for talking therapy themselves or to a community mental health service depending on what’s available in your area.

Two years on low dose of Citalopram here - most friends know, I usually joke about it.

I think this was alluded to above - but if your leg is broken you go to the docs to get it fixed and its no issue to tell anyone.  If your head is broken the same should apply.

1 in 3 of us will have some level of mental health issues requiring treatment during our lives.

I’m pretty open with friends and family (and even a few work mates) about having episodes of depression and anxiety, which are usually worse in autumn and winter. I’ve had the most hideous episode since mid September - severe depression, suicidal thoughts, exhaustion, very poor sleep. Had one visit to A&E where the mental health team said they had patients signed off work with less severe anxiety than I had.

Anyway, enough was enough about 6 weeks ago and I started taking fluoxetine which I admit is helping significantly. I’ve had excellent counselling on the nhs a year or so ago but sometimes meds are needed too.

Respect to all who deal openly with these issues, never had a problem with my mental health until 4 years ago then cue hyper resistive blood pressure, diabetes, micro vascular angina. I have not/Probably will not come to terms with the absolute destruction of my ability to do little else other than work. I get up each day and MTFU as I have many dependants and am the sole income. No one in my family or business has a clue , I internalise and self medicate with low levels of alcohol (not enough to raise concerns)

I am under no illusion that this will go pop one day.

thanks for starting the tread Mounty and to everyone that contributing.
it certainly going to be helping a few folk get help/support

Commenting to bookmark as I too struggle with anxiety and reading through the comments on here are very useful and something to reflect back on.

One more point. Your diet is also very important, poor eating habits will have a massive negative effect on your brain when feeling low.

Relate to a lot of what has been said here.  Best I can manage is to give myself a long hard stare.

As I've described on here before, I have long term issues with anxiety/depression which are much more under control these days since I acknowledged the issues and started dealing with them about 15 years ago. Telling close friends and family and continuing to be open has been key because you get a lot of help and support from those that love you, and crucially  an objective perspective on the stuff going round your head, but I had to be very selective about who I told. Basically to seek validation from another can end a relationship if that validation is denied

On the anxiety front, I did a couple of years on 50mg of sertaline and it was a generally hugely positive experience. Been off it for a couple of years now and in the last couple of months i felt my anxiety creep back. I was reluctant to go back to the sertraline for one reason; it caused a fair bit of weight gain which I've shifted.

Explored other options and after a lot of reading I tried CBD oil. Its often mentioned as an alternative treatment for anxiety plus a ton of other things.

Been on it for around 10 weeks and I've been absolutely blown away by the results. Particularly since I've had some really testing times in the last month (moved home and got made redundant!!) that should've had me climbing the walls but I've taken everything in my stride with no worries at all. Huge clarity and focus which I've been lacking for a while.

In addition, the pain reduction I've experienced since I've been taking it has been phenomenal. I've had a niggling wrist injury for years that stopped me doing press ups. Since taking the CBD oil and I can fire out press-ups with no pain at all. Plus any DOMS that I normally get after heavy gym sessions have completely stopped. CBD oil is apparently a powerful anti-inflammatory so I can only attribute it to that.

For the record, I'm not normally a believer in alternative medicines but this is something noticeably useful. Definitely a strong personal recommendation from me!

Ive been using this

https://www.lovecbd.org/product/300mg-dutch-cbd-oil-spray/

I tried the 500mg stuff for my 2nd bottle however I found it doesn't dispense that well as it's a bit thicker plus the higher strength didn't have any more of an effect. Back on 300mg now.

Dose is 3 sprays under the tongue three times a day. You hold it in your mouth for 2 minutes before swallowing. Basically it's fat soluble so if you swallow it straight away then you won't absorb it. In all honesty it tastes like weed smells (I don't smoke it) but a quick rinse with water removes the taste instantly

A bottle lasts a month at the above dosage

Thanks for all the replies, some really useful info and its nice to see openness from people on what can be a very difficult and personal issue....so thank you.

I think I have lost faith in my GP's practice, all they want to do is throw pills at me and send me on my way. I have tried 2 or 3 meds over the last 3 years, all they seem to do is cause me side effects.

I have just got in touch with Mind to see what help and services they can provide, I just seem to be going round and round in circles and just not achieving anything, not even a little glimmer of light....

I am currently off sick with work and only walking and my passion for cycling seems to be helping to take the pressure off.  I have been surrounded by bad situations (work) and bad people for the last few years, so I am hopeful that if/when I get a new job working with decent & good people that it will start to get easier....

Are you in a position to fund counselling yourself? I would definitely recommend it if you are. It is between £40 and £60 a session but if you find the right person it can allow you access to something the NHS can’t perhaps provide. I was lucky that my work has a scheme that will fund 6 sessions but I was able to see someone within a few days of being signed of sick with anxiety. I think this helped me recover much quicker. The NHS would only offer CBT ( ie treating the symptoms and not the issues) on a long waiting list and I think the value of funding your own sessions can be invaluable.

I got to the point where my anxiety was affecting my social interactions. Eventually I told my family and friends and the reaction was amazing . Best thing I ever did..I also sought medical help.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.. Pm me if you ever feel like chatting about it . Been there, felt no light at end of tunnel. Accepting its part of you is the first step. Though it may not feel like it now, I absolutely promise you that you will not always feel like you do now..

To the OP.

You have taken a big first step by having someone else know about it (your girlfriend) plus getting it ‘out’ here.

It is personal. You can’t get away from the fact that this is personal to you. That shouldn’t be a problem, though. Don’t go around thinking “there are other people in the world worse off than me” or suchlike. This is undoubtedly true, but also totally irrelevant right now. You will have noticed that thinking stuff like this doesn’t make you feel any better. In my case it made me feel weaker, and worse for being so ‘bourgeois’ about it (as my perception would say).

Get some good advice. Trust your instinct. If you and your GP hit the right notes, then use them. If not, seek another opinion.

PM me if you would like. I can’t guarantee anything other than an honest appraisal of my experience. This may be useful/relevant or it may not, but it will be honest!

You can get better, but it might be a hard slog. But it will be worth it.

It weren't that long ago, that if you mentioned to your friend/occupational therapist, that you somehow weren't too happy living with  the local 'alternative' psycho, you'd get referred to a social worker, who'd offer you a  (free to leave anytime) assessment weekend at the local uni , then lock you in and dope you up to the eyeballs with noxious paralyzing  (etc) psychotropic drugs, for months on end, without any prospect of you ever being allowed back into society(even if the medication would have made it  a possibility).

Still, if your mind wants to do its thing,  let it, but dont feel like you have to join in.  Its good to watch the mind, see what it wants to do, but not necessary to believe in it.Is every idea the perfect answer?

things like traditions, want to dictate your life, but you dont need to be led by them. You have feelings,why deny them?

All these inventions like the atomic bomb. were they really any good for humanity?

So not all ideas are so good. But if  ideas are not all good, what is beyond them? if you do not attach ourself to ideas, you can see what is -at the end of ideas- what else there can be.

Unless your house is burning down, do you really need to do anything?

So can you find out what love is, what is perfect order?

Otherwise, isnt it  just wasted time?

OK, maybe I cant talk,  but  isn't that the proprem

we can talk about this. but you know . You dont want confusion in your house-if youre not the cause, someone else is, so get that straight. Dont feel like you have to fit in with something that you know is wrong

and forgive me if Im preaching to the converted

Well I'm off out on the bike for the first time since my new anti-depressent meds caused me to go all wobbly-wobbly on the first climb and nearly throw up (see earlier post on that). We'll soon find out if things have settled down a bit

The suns out, its a nice day, and I've got a ten mile bridleway bimble planned. Nothing technical, nothing taxing. Just hoping to restore the restorative feeling of being out on the bike

Wish me luck!

Sorry I'm late to the party.

I finally admitted I wasn't 'right' last Spring - wow 12 months already.

Hardest part was probably telling my mates I'd spread myself way too thin trying to please everyone and I had to back out of a holiday at almost the 11th hour, I think it was a bit of a shock to them.

Telling people I was Bi-Polar and had Anxiety and had probably had done my entire Adult life was pretty easy for me, but only because I'd been a right mess for a couple of months and I felt I owed some people an explanation.

Mum was an odd one, apparently my Granddad who was the most balanced and calm person I think I ever knew was "exactly the same" seems Mum knew I was nuts for year (we're very alike apparently) but didn't want to bother me with it... hmmm. still.

Wife sort of nodded sagely, she was hurt because my anxiety made me keep things from her and I'd made small manageable problems great big huge ones (they're not that massive, but they were more than life or death in my head).

Told my Boss and a couple of work mates, again I owed some people an explanation and I get short, but terrifying bouts of rage, I've got very good at hiding them but there's a couple of holes in doors and the odd broken thing that 'appeared' over the years.

I've been working with the CBT stuff from the GP, it really helped at first, but I avoid it when things are going well because I don't want to 'pick at it' in case the feelings come back... stupidly isn't mutually exclusive to mild mental health issues it seems.

In short, I told loads of people, I wasn't hesitant at first, but once I told the first person (my Wife) I wanted to tell the world. I stopped short of 'sharing' any of mindless things on FB that supposedly explain it all in 30 words or less, but it was good to tell people who I think I've been less than nice to without meaning too.

Thanks for the offers of PM.  If anyone is in or around the Shropshire area and would like some company on a ride, road or mtb, then give me a shout.

For some reason the anxiety was awful over the weekend and its been hard to shake it off, just back from a big ride and it seems to have worked, I guess my mind is focused on being knackered and feeling a little sore!

I am attempting to try mindfulness stuff.  I am also looking at other options, CBT etc.

Has anyone had any experience with hypnosis, good or bad?

Mounty_73: I’ve had hypnotherapy a couple of times for anxiety and it gave me a very calm feeling. I do struggle to get the same benefit from listening to a hypnotherapy CD for some reason though!

Mounty_73: I’ve had hypnotherapy a couple of times for anxiety and it gave me a very calm feeling. I do struggle to get the same benefit from listening to a hypnotherapy CD for some reason though!

Thats good to hear as I am looking into all options at the moment.....

Mounty_73: I’ve had hypnotherapy a couple of times for anxiety and it gave me a very calm feeling. I do struggle to get the same benefit from listening to a hypnotherapy CD for some reason though!

I am considering giving hypnotherapy a go as one or two people have told me about it.  I am sick of the GP's constantly throwing medication at me.

Another one here - same age, apparently successful, apparently pretty normal - found myself sat on a bus in tears mid last year and wondering about 'going away'. Knew enough that I wasn't well. My employer was brilliant and I took some time away (in a high pressure environment), spoke to some people, didn't take meds but was lucky enough to be in a position where I could decide on my choices. I've agreed more time off and rebalanced my work. Being honest with myself was the hardest, then my wife then my family. I'm very open about it because in this day and age we have a society that is connected but lonely. I certainly feel very disconnected these days, i have a couple of close mates that we chat about the black dog, they get a bit of it too, but i'm inclined to just do my own thing which is a bit of a signal. I'm very competitive on various levels and had got myself in a hole thinking I had to be amazing at everything - work, sport, family, me. Actually, when i really think about it the most amazing I can be is to myself and the rest of it is an outcome. It's not that I don't care what goes on around me I'm just more aware that I probably can;t do much about it so not to waste emotional ebergy worrying about it. As an aside I read The Life Changing Art of not giving a f*** and that helped me rationalise a lot of my anxiety.

I guess for me all I can say is don;t feel ashamed or stupid or ... anything really. Peoples perceptions of you aren't controllable and probably aren't what you think they are. Thanks for posting, the more people talk about it the better we will get at helping those who suffer.

Talk. Talk lots. It's helpful to you, massively, and helpful to your family and friends.

(Community mental health clinical nurse)

In a move to change things I have quit my job as the employers were the worst people I have ever had the misfortune to meet, right up there with the lowest of humanity IMO.

Two of the worst people and the worst working environment I have worked in, there has been and still continues to be ongoing illegal activty.

A lot of people are telling me that I need to work in a nice place, surrounded by good people, this hopefully should help.

Good on you for taking control.  Report the illegal activity