Hi
Someone close to me has mental health issues (as yet undiagnosed and therefore unmedicated) and as a result self medicates with alcohol at times.
During these times this person lives in a fantasy world where she’ll tell you whatever comes into her head and suits her purpose
Eg drinking 8 units of alcohol when really it’s over 20 or has eaten 2 square meals when she hasn’t eaten at all or she’s done all of the housework when all she’s done is hoover the sitting room quickly.
Now these “lies” are not that important in the real world and I also realise she probably can’t help it due to her illnesses and it doesn’t have any real impact on the household but they’re just “wrong”.
So my question is do I just ignore this behaviour as being not that important or do I challenge and likely cause an argument and therefore more hassle for everyone?
Moving on, if they are to be ignored at what point do I challenge other behaviour?
My gut feeling is to ignore what has no impact on others but challenge what impacts the family.
Your thoughts please
Cheers
Steve
Might be worth seeing if they will chat with a GP, possibl a counsellor. Any particular issues putting pressure on the individual ? Stress, work issues, money issues, family ?
Difficult. Depends to some extent just how close and how much it affects others. Also is it mental health issues or unhappiness? How much are you contributing with your behaviour? How much is the drinking? do they remain functional?
I am guessing its your partner who is a stay at home mum but obviously thats an assumption and possibly wide of the mark.
Hi thanks for the replies
@tjagain-not wide of the mark-pretty much spot on actually.
Some context:
-Stay at home mum (child age 12-not mine)
-Finished work 6years ago on ill health not worked since
-Has private counsellor to try to help with issues including anxiety depression and complex PTSD and agoraphobia
-Epileptic but doesn’t take medication consistently
-Engages off and on with mental health services and may be on bipolar spectrum
-Has clear episodes of being “well” and “unwell”. When well is compliant with mental health services, medication and doesn’t drink. When unwell it’s the opposite.
-On full PIP for mental health disability and I earn a decent amount. No financial pressures in the household.
-From my point of view I don’t like her excessive drinking, not attending medical appointments or not taking her medication and I make this known possibly too strongly at times (verbally). Hold my hands up to that.
-because she’s non compliant when unwell she keeps being discharged from mental health services and it’s a battle to keep everything in line.
I could go on but I won’t cos you’ll get bored!!!
Cheers
Steve
Ouch that is a tricky situation.
Not a huge amount of advice I can give but:
Try not to be confrontational. Try " you seem unhappy - what can I do to help" " seeing you like this makes me unhappy - how can we be happy again" sort of approach. But sometimes confrontation can get things out in the open if there is n other way to open things up
Get some support for you as well. support groups exist and counselling for yo may help you see things in a clearer light.
Don't get wound up over small things. One of the things I have learned which has made my relationship ( very rocky a while back) is to accept somethings "just are". Stuff Mrs TJ does really annoys me - I had to learn to accept them and that it is my issues that allows it to make me angry
Bigger things then yes - you have to make a stand.
Cheers TJ that was my gut instinct.
I need to learn to be more accepting of trivial stuff
Steve
