[Closed] Medical advice: boils.

lance it and video it and stick it up on here. full sound

[url=

video[/url] should give you some guidance on how best to treat it.

A boil? Or just a plook?

If it really is a boil Get professional advice you might well need antibiotics. Some are best lanced some are not - depends if you can feel a reservoir of pus under the surface and how deep it is.

Pics?

If I had the guts, I'd video it, but I'll probs scream like a girl.

That video is PRICELESS: I can only dream of the relief the guy must be feeling. I hope he's drunk though cos it must hurt so fricking much. I particularly like the way he keeps asking ot be shown the results...

Is it a boil? Well, it's got no head despite a massive chamber of cack under the surface (which is astonishingly annoying) and is tender as the night.

Believe me, you don't want pics...

How can anyone on here who is medically qualified give you an opinion without any pics! 🙄

Go to the doctors, they can turn pretty nasty.

I had one on my forearm, and did the classic man thing of leaving it until it was so painful I could not continue to perform my daily chores. Suffice to say I now have a large scar (with a bizarre hole in the flesh where it was) and had to take a long course of anti-biotics.
😳

Massive chamber of cack you say - you can feel it?

If you have the bottle lance it then - sterilise whatever you are going to do it with - hold the skin tight and a nice firm jab. Otherwise go to your local minor injuries clinic and get them to do it.

Are yo sure it is not an alien?

And yes - we do want pics - preferably before and after if not during.

Is anyone on here medically qualified???

Doctors you say, I should go, ay? Hmmm, well that would be damn inconvenient...

Can I feel it? CAN I FEEL IT????? Something with the mass of Jupiter has entered orbit in the skin under my forehead and you're asking if I can FEEL IT????

Yes, I can feel it.

But I'd rather not as it hurts. A lot.

Can you feel the liquid centre? thats the indication for lancing it

Drs is not a bad idea - antibiotics might well be needed. Minor injuries clinic at your local hospital might be a good bet as well - open out of office hours and just walk in.

Prolax? I thought Picolax was the weapon of choice on here...

No liquid centre, just a mass of tender pain.

No liquid centre - forget lancing! you need antibiotics - the sooner the better

Ok you sick voyeurs, but it ain't pretty, or actually that exciting:

[url= http://g-s.fotopic.net/c1773648.html ]http://g-s.fotopic.net/c1773648.html[/url]

you need antibiotics

But I've never had antibiotics in my life - what if it kills all the friend;y gut bacteria I've worked three decades on...?

Not that bad - deffo not ready for lancing and after seeing that pic I prescribe a big does of MTFU.

Antibiotics might be indicated

I prescribe a big does of MTFU

But it [i]hurts[/i]...

banana, you seem to have a spot

that video though ! - more of an exorcism than a lancing 😯

Back to that video - looked like a cyst to me. Had/have one on my back that got infected and got very sore and angry. GP had to cut it open without anaesthitic - boy did that hurt! Got home after work and had great delight in squeezing more pus and cyst material out of it 🙂

Now got a bit of a scar and due to have the cyst removed properly in a few weeks. Can't get enough of those videos - something really satisfying about them!

you seem to have a spot

But, like I said, it [i]hurts[/i]...

And that video is truly inspiring: I know what you mean about the satisfaction angle!

I think that's a spot, not a boil. Sorry. You might want to avoid squeezing it unless it has a crust, since you'll force the infection deeper into the skin.

get the potato peeler out and whip the top off.
video it as well. it will at least be worth 250 quid for the video

Jedi, dude, Jeremy Beadle is dead... 🙁

get the potato peeler out

Like your style though!! 😀

i had one on my back once. i dismantled a pencil sharpner for the blade and sliced it in a mirror.

looked like zoro had got me after 🙂

Shit, you're twice the man I'll ever be.

Shame you didn't use yer light saber though...

That video was absolutely vile....but strangely entrancing. The amount of pus in that thing was truely spectacular. It was like cottage cheese at the end, the woman doing that must have had a stomach of steel.

As for the op, that's just a spot, MTFU, wait for it to grow a yellow head and then give it a squeeze.

I remember getting a great big spot on my foreskin. It was big, red and seriously hard (the spot), for about a week, and then I bit the bullet so to speak, gripped my foreskin from the bottom, pulled it down until the spot was shiny and exposed. Quick grip with my other hand and SQUIRT! All gone.

What? Have I gone too far?

Just be glad you haven't got a pilonidal (sp?) sinus. The stinking pus that comes out of one of them really is something to behold. I've had two, first time before I found out what it was I thought I'd grown a second arsehole it was that foul.

You never forget your first ****, ay Sam?

There's defiintely a certain amount of unsupervised-male conversation on here after a certain time of night...

[b]NEW FLASH - UPDATE[/b]

Oh you lot are gonna love this:

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http://g-s.fotopic.net/p61799033.html [/url]

I woke up this morning to find that the swelling around it has got so bad that I can't open my eye properly.

Think I might have to MTFD a bit and go to the hospital. When they ask I'm gonna give my name as 'Joseph Merrick'.

looking nice, I still think it's just a bit of a spot though. Jam a pin in it.

its a spot!!!

Nah, it's defo not just a spot. I'm a bit of an expert on spots cos I have my fair share and throughly enjoy, against medical advice, squeezing them. There's no squeezing this bad boy and the swelling around it is insane: it's encroaching on my eye socket and I can't open my left eye all the way!

It is to a spot as Terminator is to Robosapien.

Have you got a dremel? That'll sort it in a jiffy!

Gaffer tape?

Beware hard-of-hearing nurses, if you wear glasses...

("No nurse, I said remove his glasses & prick his boil!")

IGMC

Maybe a Dremel and THEN gaffer tape, if we're going down the real man route?

Get a lance

[img] [/img]

Get a Lance?

[img] [/img]

[i]("No nurse, I said remove his glasses & prick his boil!")[/i]

FAIL.
it's 'spectacles', not 'glasses'...

thank god for that Andy. I thought I was being thick 🙂

it's 'spectacles', not 'glasses'...

Oh TFFT, I thought the mighty boil was draining away my intelligence when I didn't get it the first time.

Pop it you big wuss!

hold a hot wet flannel on it

Right, sod it, I'm gonna give the needle another go.

Should I ice it or hot water it first?

neither. just MTFU

🙂

Is that white bit on it the head or just light reflecting?

Epic fail.

There's so much swelling above and around the bastid thing that finding the actual deposit is impossible. Despite jabbing the pin into various bits of it all I got was a little bit of blood and, though I tried to MTFU, plenty of pain and a watery eyes.

Is that white bit on it the head or just light reflecting?

Just the flash. I wish it had a head!!!

B@llocks to it, I'll leave it alone. What's the worst that can happen?

Well you've inspired me to get out a scalpel blade and have a good dig at on old verruca on my foot, so don't feel your efforts have been entirely wasted.

Bananaworld.

Go get medical advice / antibiotics now you plonker. I said don't attempt to lance it if there is no soft center full of goo. Warm flannel might soothe it a bit

Whats the worst that can happen - septicaemia / nice big scar on your head / aliens are born / you turn into Cyclops

I've had a thought, some people have big lumps on their head which are actually baby spiders growing inside them. The spiders lay the eggs under the skin and then they all come running out. It could be that.

Edit: Well, I'm disappointed to learn that spiders don't do this but flies and other crawlies do. What a let down real life is.

I said don't attempt to lance it

Yeah, but everyone else was telling me to MTFU and pop it. If throughout the course of history men had listened to the voice of reason rather than trying to prove how big their willies were, where would civilisation be today??

I'll pop into the walk-in centre in a bit. I did briefly consider phoning NHS direct but they would inevitably ask me, as they always do, if it disappeared when I pressed a glass on it and if I have a stiff neck and if I'm adverse to bright light. I dare you to call them, greatape, and see if you can get ANY diagnosis other than meningitis regarding your verruca...

I've had a thought

Steady on.

So, at the end of the day, whose advice did I take?

Well, you sickos on here will disappointed to learn that TJ's word won the day and I went to sample the thrills of Croydon's NHS walk-in centre.

A less-than-I-expected wait of 2 hours ensued during which time I was able to be delightedly disturbed from my book by no less then three pairs of (erm, how can I put this politely?) chavs/scrotes/scallies/neds coming in to get 'prophylactics'. Now, fair play to them for making the effort not to bring more wasted lives into the world, but I nearly bit right through a 350ish-page book when one of them asked the lady on reception, "Er, how about some lube?"

then they all come running out

Wish they'd bleedin' get a move on, this things hurts. Any idea of the timescale, Sam?

Oh yes, thanks for your advice everyone! Hats off to Jeremy 🙂

You get antibiotics then? And a slagging for the DIY surgery?

Yeah, some delicious variety of penicillin ("Is that ok?" asked the nurse, to which I had absolutely no answer as that's not the sort of question I am qualified to respond to.)

I wasn't entirely forthcoming about the attempt at Lanceting but I did confess to trying to give it a squeeze or two to which the nurse, bless her, replied, "Well, who wouldn't?" 🙂

To further butter me up, she actually used the phrase, "Ooh, that's quite a big one isn't it!?" which is not something you get to hear everyday...

pour some boiling oil on to it!

Well, mediæval ailments call for mediæval treatments, so I'll bear it in mind, thanks Nutter.

banana, were you never a teenager?

NEVER squeeze a zit without a head on it (yes, my money's still on big zit) - they hurt lots, make themselves into bigger zits [u]and[/u] you don't get to spray the mirror

(they do hurt more where there's little soft tissue to absorb the swelling - like directly over your skull - and the swelling all pushes out, hence the part-closed eye)

Want to scare yourself? - google orbital cellulitis. It's not what you have, but I reckon it's why you got the antibiotic

("is that OK" is code for "have you any history of allergy, particularly life-threatening reactions, to penicillins")

Drip some hot candle wax onto it.

Hello Scaredy,

I haven't been a teenager for a fair few years, though I still get my share of zits and mirror-redecorating eruptions. In my experience it's possible to elicit a reaction from even headless swellings, though this is one tough MF.

Thanks for the hints about the cellulitis though - and I thought only fat birds got cellulite 😉

And you'll be pleased to hear that the nurse asked me more than once, explicitly, if I was allergic to anything/Penicillin, rather than just come out with a casual, "Is that ok?" What surprised me was the manner of asking: it was like she was leaving room for me to say, well, gee, I dunno, does it come in metallic pink? or something.

Drip some hot candle wax onto it.

Mmmmm..... I usually have to pay for that service....

elicit a reaction from even headless swellings, though this is one tough MF

Yeh, but when I was a lad it was all about the "pop" - none of this ooze rubbish 🙂

[b]Krakatoa heat yer heart out![/b]

For your viewing pleasure:

[img] [/img]

Finalement the darn thing has developed a soft centre, like those mints.

I hope none of my housemates see me as I disappear into the bathroom with a bottle of alcohol gel and a camera...

This has been the best thread on here for years, dont pop it yet me and the missus couldnt wait to log on tonight to see if it had got any bigger! Its this or location location location !!!

Aw, Liquid, you're too kind!

Just wait til I get these photos loaded up...

I gave it a little prick and an experimental squeeze:

[img] [/img]

There's more to come, and I think we all know it...

Antibiotics are completely useless for this sort of thing- you need to get the pus out, hence good squeeze ( in hospital land we do this with a scalpel but to be honest it doesn't really matter). Antibiotics are only needed if the infection is spreading outwards in the skin, ie lots of red, inflammed skin.
Well done with the squeeze!

Mrs (doc) Weekes (on hubbie's profile)

I want a big spot to squeeze too.

(Not where yours is though)

Interesting stuff, Mrs Weekes, thanks for that. Why did the nurse prescribe fucoffocillin, in that case? Is it just another one of those cases where it's an ailment that'll sort itself out but they give you some pills to shut you up...?

Ah yes, and here's the pic of the second squeeze:

[img] [/img]

Again, there's greater things to come!

And, greatape, I was hating this spot all day yesterday and through the piddle-taking at work today, but the squeezage this evenign has made it ALL worthwhile... 😀

deep down, you know you should've waited until tomorrow 😉

Be honest now, Scaredy, could you have waited...?

which are actually baby spiders growing inside them. The spiders lay the eggs under the skin and then they all come running out. It could be that.

Edit: Well, I'm disappointed to learn that spiders don't do this but flies and other crawlies do. What a let down real life is.

easily the best thing i have [i]ever[/i] read on here, Samuri - another gem.

[b]Getting the decorators in[/b]

None of the pansy little mirror-splatterers in my life so far prepared me for, or even came close to, what awaited me inside the skin of my brow...

BLAM!!

[img] [/img]

BLAM!!!

[img] [/img]

BLAM!!!!

[img] [/img]

BLAM!!!!!

[img] [/img]

BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[img] [/img]

What a hit that was.

'kin 'ell- an impressive zit:mirror interface event. Well done that man. Now put a piercing in it.

That is the awesomeness. Quality splatulation there! I do wonder if a warning for the delicate of stomach might have been in order.

double post Doh

Could someone add 'Stomach Spoiler' to the thread title please.

Indeed quality. Looks like you've got some proper solids in there too. Lovely.
What a weak-stomached bunch you lot are...

Spots are clearly like farts and children - people only like their own.

uuurrrgggghhh.

Thank god I'm not having breakfast at work today
[img] [/img]

(Takes a bow)

Thank you for your kind words.

Made you feel a bit queasy, some of you, ay? Well, to repeat the advice I was given: MTFU. This is the real world, people, and zit happens.