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No idea if this is true or not, but it made me laugh
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." John Lennon
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt
Better to say nothing and others think of you as an idiot, than to open your mouth sand remove all doubt.
Don't eat anything bigger than your head
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Oh, and.....
Don't be a dick.
Face it, if the whole world lived by these two simple mantras, everything would be good.
Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe...
Death smiles at us all
All a man can do is smile back
Whether the glass is half empty or half full, there is still plenty of room for improvement
and as for wide words...
Did you spill my pint?
Lord love a duck
Good point on the wide words! In which case, this is my favourite 🙂
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Said it before, this one from Doctor Who when Tegan leaves always sticks with me and I kind of live by it (except the bit about being an air stewardess 😀 )...
Tegan: My aunt Vanessa said, when I became an air stewardess, if you stop enjoying it, give it up.
Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in.
Every rose has its thorn.
'Always ride the horse the way it's facing'
And
'One day, this will be twenty years ago'
Measure twice, cut once.
And, always know where your towel is.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool
Be like water, my friend.
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I only scrape a living it is a living worth scraping[/url]
Light travels faster than sound. It's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Cost is only a factor in the absence of value.
'The mountains are calling and I must go' (John Muir)
Everyone has a plan til they get punched in the mouth - Mike Tyson
Opinions are like arseholes, everyone's got one.
If we had no faults, we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others
La Rochefoucault.
Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Tucker's law:
If some **** can **** something up, that **** will pick the worst possible time to ****ing **** up because that ****'s a ****.
What goes around comes around
and
Success only comes before work in the dictionary
When the ocean surges,
don't let me just hear it-
let it burst inside my chest- Rumi. (this gets translated a few different ways, I love this one... I've a habit of being a spectator of my own life sometimes.)
Another Rumi, on facing adversity
Bring the pure wine of love and freedom.
But sir, a tornado is coming.
More wine, and we'll teach this storm a thing or two about whirling.
2 ears and one mouth,
Use in those proportions
I always wanted to be happy, so I decided to be.
[i]neil nello baldwin[/i]
useful for work (at my current employer):
"you will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks" (Winston Churchill)
-Douglas BaderRules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.
I like that batfink.
Failure is an opportunity to try again more intelligently.
This, by Tim Minchin is fantastic but not as terse as most of the quotes so far.
[u]You Don’t Have To Have A Dream.[/u]Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you’ve always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it’s something to do with your time… chasing a dream. And if it’s a big enough one, it’ll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you’ll be almost dead so it won’t matter.
I never really had one of these big dreams. And so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you… you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye. Right? Good. Advice. Metaphor. Look at me go.
The whale that spouts gets harpooned
Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.
In terms of education,
You don't get a pig fat by weighing it
It's better to spend too much and waste a little than spend too little and waste the lot.
All of our days are numbered. We cannot afford to be idle. To act on a bad idea is better than to not act at all. Because the worth of the idea never becomes apparent until you do it.
Nick Cave, 20,000 Days on Earth.
It became our mantra when a pal and I decided to organise www.ridetothesun.co.uk, but I think it's a good ethos generally.
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." ? Albert Einstein
Nothing endures.
Keep out of the black and in the red, nothing in this game for two in a bed.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, shouting GERONIMO!" Hunter S. Thompson
The above to be combined with rule 1 and it's all gravy.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose." Dr Seuss
Just read this elsewhere...I would do well to remember it.
onomatopoeia is a wide word
"Stay off the brown acid"
Ian Brown , Glastonbury some year
"#YOLO" - Abraham Lincoln
What other people think of me is none of my business. [i]Wayne Dyer[/i]
Never trust a man who lies and cheats incessantly.
Don't compare your behind the scenes footage to someone else's highlights reel.
All it takes for evil to flourish, is for good men to stand by and do nothing.
The whale that spouts gets harpooned
Although the whale that doesn't spout dies of suffocation.
As a reminder to keep your mouth shut and listen more: "Un hombre es dueño de sus silencios y esclavo de sus palabras"
Eagles may soar... but weasels rarely get sucked into jet engines.
The only person who cares if you tried your hardest is your mum.
[i]"One must experience everything in life except incest and folk dancing"[/i]- attributed to an anonymous Scotsman by Sir Arnold Bax.
I always liked this one from Jenn
Here you are with your arms and legs and walking around in the good sunlight. That’s winning. You’ve won, see. The rest is just gravy
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance (or ride bikes) in the rain.
I always liked one, used at work and play:
Celebrate success - don't wait to get perfect.
Also its the early bird that gets the worm, but the second mouse that gets the cheese!
If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck there's still a chance it could be a merganser
This one's a bit rude.
"He's some kind of *"
This mean's he's a * of such epic proportions it's a kind we haven't encountered before.
Accidents with chainsaws are seldom trivial..............
Getting older doesn't stop you doing things, stopping doing things makes you older.
You don't stop playing when you get old, you get old when you stop playing - George Bernard Shaw
Measure twice cut once
It depends how much you are prepared for it to hurt - Lawmanmx from here on how to get up a stiff climb
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile. Some people are just nice.
And
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
(Scroobius pip)
The trouble with common sense is that it isn't all that common.
Wenns schifft,wird nass.
This too will pass
"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do"
If you're arguing with an idiot, he's probably doing the same thing
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."
Probably attributed to Mark Twain or Winston Churchill.
'Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.'
This has stuck with me for some reason, it's surprisingly motivational.
If you're arguing with an idiot, he's probably doing the same thing
Can we have that enshrined as the forum motto please? 😀
I've always like the HG Wels quote:
[i]“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”[/i]
A journalist asked Gary Player what role luck played in his golf game, he replied " It's funny you know, the more I practice, the luckier I get."
growing old is inevitable, growing up is a choice
which alwasy reminds me of my Uncle, who on his fifty-somethingth birthday said to me:
"[i]when [/i]I grow up, I want to be just like Victor Meldrew"
Never drink in a flat roofed pub.
If you don't keep running you will be run over.
"The Dude Abides". Oh and "**** it, let's go bowling".
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😀
Not my favorite but I came across this and liked it
If I had only one hour to save the world then I would spend 55 minute defining the problem and only five minutes finding the solutionA. Einstein
An idea I also came across in HHGTTG (42) which I'm re reading.
no-one ever had on their gravestone "I wish I had spent more time at work"
I think I read this right here on STW but anyway, I've used this a few times since:
"Without data, you're just some guy with an opinion"
[Edit - google credits this to W. Edwards Deming]
The road to hell is paved with assumptions
It is what it is, we are where we are, its what you do next that matters
Timing is everything
We are here and this is now - the book of Om.