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Marriage breakdown

Nalla · 2023-12-05T08:24:30Z

Firstly we haven't shared a bed since our twins were born seven years ago so I guess it's not been right for ages, but it was always amicable. We started some major house renovations in February and its been one disaster after another and has gone way way over budget to the point we had to re mortgage ,sell the camper van and I cashed in the majority of an aviva portfolio I had. The work is still way off from being completed and only the upstairs is habitable. I started suffering from lack of sleep, anxiety and depression and this all came to a point in September where I drank a full bottle of vodka and ended up in A&E. It wasn't a suicide attempt it was just stupidly trying to switch off, I drank it so quickly like an idiot as it didn't seem to be working. I don't have a problem with drink and rarely have a cider at the weekend. After getting home the next day feeling like a dick for wasting lots of peoples time I decided I needed to get some help and arranged for an assessment and inpatient stay at a Priory hospital that provided therapy sessions, group sessions and support. It was 100% voluntary and I could leave whenever I wanted. I stayed 4 weeks, Partly because it really was helping my mental health and It was better than being at home. We have 3 children and for the last 7 years since the Twins were born I have done all the cooking ,washing, cleaning and house maintenance as I work from home and have lots of free time. Since getting out of hospital she has said I'm not to touch anything involving the kids or house , during an argument she mentioned something about me having a case for 50/50 access to the children if I resumed doing what I did before. She also stated that she has seen a solicitor and no court would let me see the kids without her say so due to my A&E trip and stay in the Priory. (However this Weekend she went out Friday and Saturday and didn't return until after 2am so I don't think she can claim the kids are unsafe with me. She drops them off after school most nights and says she's going for a drive and comes back at the kids bedtimes also). She is out of the house for 90% of the day. She wants me to move out of the bedroom that I have slept in solely since we moved into this house across into what is basically a series of garages ,one of which has a sink. No toilets and cold and damp. Apparently I have to do this as she feels unsafe with me upstairs but I don't think that's fair as I have never been violent or aggressive and the A&E staff said the ambulance crew said I was a very passive drunk when I wanted to apologise. The solicitor has apparently also told her she will get access to my pension and a 1/4 of my Parents two businesses of which I am a director. I would have to move out of the house and it would be sold when the kids are 18 (No way I could afford this currently) My priority is the kids, they are great kids and I would want to make sure they would be comfortable when with her as I wouldn't try for full custody. I'm seeing a solicitor myself tomorrow but just wanted to try and get an idea of what to do. Christ that's a rambling dump sorry. (Any regulars will easily be able to guess her name!) :(

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Last Post by MoreCashThanDash 7 months ago

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pandhandj

Posts: 643

Free Member

I don't know what your talking about 🤣🤣🤣

Posted : 09/12/2023 8:20 pm

pandhandj

Posts: 643

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Tom, all your points are valid. I'm sure any family law solicitor would come up with them. Unfortunately, "on the balance of probability" can leave a nasty stain on any testimony. So I think your right, best not to do it!

Then when you consider kilo's points. It could go very wrong. Admittedly that criminal, not civil though...

Posted : 09/12/2023 8:27 pm

squirrelking

Posts: 11605

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Also remember stalking now comes with a Brucie Bonus entry on to the sex offenders register (in Scotland at least, may be different elsewhere).

But yeah, tracking anything isn't the illegal bit, spying on people is.

Posted : 09/12/2023 8:46 pm

kilo

Posts: 6666

Full Member

My typo

S2 Protection from Stalking Act 1997

S2 Protection from Harassment Act 1997

Posted : 09/12/2023 8:57 pm

docgeoffyjones

Posts: 858

Free Member

@nalla

I went through something similar with my EX wife. Constantly trying to keep her happy but suffering in silence myself. I’m not that far from you if you ever want to go or a bike ride for slow unfit people, or just meet for a chat.

Posted : 09/12/2023 8:59 pm

nt80085, sas78, nt80085 and 1 people reacted

twoweeks

Posts: 2

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Any update @nalia?? I'm going through similar myself...

Posted : 28/04/2025 9:19 pm

MoreCashThanDash

Posts: 32265

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Posted by: docgeoffyjones

↑

Constantly trying to keep her happy but suffering in silence myself.

And quite difficult to resolve without effectively living separate lives.

Posted : 29/04/2025 6:51 am

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