Man jailed after tr...
 

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[Closed] Man jailed after trying to turn faeces into gold

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http://uk.news.yahoo.com/man-jailed-after-trying-to-turn-faeces-into-gold-.html

A man from Northern Ireland has been jailed after an experiment in which he attempted to turn his own faeces into gold went wrong and started a fire in a block of flats.
.....
Moran’s barrister mentioned that his client was a man of ‘considerable intellectual ability’ but that he had problems battling drug abuse.

Sorry but I don't have pics, though I could try to re-create it?

😀


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 9:36 pm
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mid[b]ass[/b] am i right guys


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 9:38 pm
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Hilarious.

...any alchemists on here? What's the background to the transformation to Gold then?


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 9:40 pm
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Brings a whole new meaning to 'you can't polish a turd'


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 9:42 pm
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well Ratners were turning gold into shit for years so I guess he was just trying to reverse the process


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 9:45 pm
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If you eat enough gold....


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 10:19 pm
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.....you block your toilet ?


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 10:23 pm
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Most of the 0.2 milligrams of gold which the average human contains is in the blood, so he was definitely looking in the wrong place if he was looking for it in his shit.


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 10:34 pm
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Clearly he wasn't of 'considerable intellectual ability' then.

Well, I suppose he was to a judge.


 
Posted : 20/10/2011 11:45 pm
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Ernie; Why on earth do you know that?


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 4:17 am
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Its the break down of old blood cells that gives your poop its attractive brown colour, so maybe not such a mad idea after all.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 6:17 am
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Yes but it's the [u]iron[/u] pigments that give the brown colour, there's no gold involved in oxygen transport.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 7:30 am
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there's no gold involved in oxygen transport
..........unless you are a major shareholder in BOC 😉


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 7:39 am
 hels
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I had to take a long course of iron tablets once, so I know how to turn shit into black, if thats any help...


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 8:02 am
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...no, not really. But thanks for the mental image.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 8:12 am
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Eureeka!

I've done it and my house is still standing.

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 8:29 am
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Well done for getting it in the middle of the cushion. There are people at work who struggle not to get it on the toilet walls.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 8:35 am
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Well done with that aiming, we have notices here asking to get it in the pan, not on the seat.......


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 10:11 am
 Drac
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All that skitters ain't gold.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 10:21 am
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They actualy refine the sewage in Tokyo, densest gold ore in the world apparenlty dried Japanese sweage. Mainly from it's use in electrical components and subeqyuent waste accumulating in the drains.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 10:22 am
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you can exract phosphorus from urine

http://www.scienceforums.net/topic/7741-extracting-phosphorus-from-urine/


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 10:24 am
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Woody, touche.


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 5:36 pm
 ski
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cynic-al you do seem to have a preocupation with excrement this week?


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 5:40 pm
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Posted : 21/10/2011 5:41 pm
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Ernie; Why on earth do you know that?

Well due to my passionate interest in all things to do with animals/wildlife, I actually paid a bit of attention during biology lessons at school. I remember the biology teacher telling us that the mineral content of blood very much replicates the mineral content of seawater. I knew that seawater contains gold from my fish keeping hobby. That's why I knew.

I also remember btw the biology teacher telling us that all our senses - hearing, taste, smell, and sight, rely totally on the direct presence of water/fluid.

All of which shows that when our ancestors dragged their sorry arses out of the sea and started crawling on the land, they in fact took the sea with them - each one of us is an individual sea 😀


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 7:37 pm
 mokl
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Thank you for this, OP. Reading that quotation is officially the first time I have sprayed drink from my mouth and onto my monitor with laughter. That second sentence did it for me 🙂


 
Posted : 21/10/2011 7:48 pm

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